Am home from therapy with Sir Dude. Had an excellent visit and exchange with my therapist. Good talks and a bit of mental/emotional stimulation. Not quite an enema-of-mind yet cleansing. Motivational too. It was good to see him and spend time in a safe and comfortable place. Sir Dude even turns off the 'white noise' so that I am better able to listen. The white noise is a nice form of anti-snooping and may be comforting for some concerned that some one is able to listen in another office. I am not some and I really don't care too damned much who might catch a word or two of what we speak of anyway. In my gut, I know that if not for the meniere's disease I would have never met this right good man, Sir Dude. Even more than motivational, he is inspirational. We make an awesome team I know and I am mighty grateful.
This Meniere's Disease, has brought me to a place in my life where there is still such a void in my Center. That void is the void created by not having a job. A place where I can go, stay a few hours, meet some awesome Folks and bring home a pay check. The change in life style has been a culture shock and one hell of a huge eye opener. Please understand that my big goofy bobble head and I have been a tax paying citizen of this country since I was twelve years old. There were times when I worked two jobs and facilitated support groups on the side...
...I've gone from a manager at a popular coffee company with the best partners and team I had ever worked with. We may have had to bust our asses every day and work hard at creating the atmosphere that was a figment of my imagination, but it worked. It worked fantastically awesome. I miss those days. I honestly do. Oh, how I miss my Starbucks Coffee Company, my fellow partners and only, The Best Customers in The World. My Great Spirit! In any Starbucks House I ever worked, WE made sure that it was all about our customers AND one another. This was the only approach I took as a leader or coach - dating back to the early days of the military - it was absolutely necessary to take care of one another as we took care of OUR customer's. In the military the objectives may have been different, yes, but it was still a nonnegotiable approach for My Path, myself and those in my immediate circle. It is so. I miss much too much.
I damn this meniere's! I damn it to hell for what it has done to my dear Kinfolk, my friends and neighbours and my Kindred One's. I damn this bullshit of a disease for what it has done to me as a Human Body! I mentioned a couple or few communiques ago that I am an island. Well, prior to that comment I had never considered myself as such. I do now. I am isolated from the outside world and this is something I acknowledge today. I am isolated as if still in medical exile. I don't want to be exiled anymore you all. I scream this out silently onto this computer screen! I DO NOT WANT TO BE EXILED! I DO NOT WANT TO BE EXILED! I DO NOT WANT TO BE EXILED ANYMORE YOU ALL! I swear, I don't.
"...ain't nobody got time for that..."
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