Have had a good and healthy rest and sleep and am feeling refreshed after what was four days of complete out of control physical elevators, emotional escapes and mental battles with Meniere's and the monsters of the dark and here in the light. There is and have been the medications that are prescribed to me by my doctors. These medicinals flow through my veins like my blood. I nave no qualms about making a treaty or signing my life away on the dotted line of that note to self...
..."these medication's are here to help dude"...
After about thirty three hours of being awake that extended well into yesterday, I began to drop off into these micro naps. By later in the afternoon there were periods when I was permitted to sleep for an hour here and there as my body part and innards convulsed. Last night as I prepared for bed with my wife, I took one pill that is to aid with the dizziness. The noises and sounds were there surrounding my Safe Place, not with my mate because I asked two or three times if she heard that or this and after the third or so no, I decided I would hush and keep these noises locked up within. To occupy my time between being awake and drifting off, I journaled and wrote up a couple of Halloween greeting cards. Parts and pieces of my body convulsed for no reason.
A bit past mid night this morning, I decided to swallow one medication I so dislike. It is an ugly shade of orange and really isn't an orange colour but most like it. It is an anti-awake and the last time I remember seeing the clock it was fifteen past 0100. I remembered having some part of my upper torso move then I was out. My Dream World was active, I remembered a couple and have let them loose. I dreamt in vivid high definition colour. Always.
When I woke this morning, I layed in bed and waited for my right ear to wake up. By the time it did my left deaf was already wide awake and the Morse Code coming in first thing. Beep-beep-beepity-beep-beep and so on. Loudly from my left. Laying there watching the ceiling fan spin slowly, I cursed to myself silently and cursed at the Meniere's that has brought forth these ridiculous noises and sounds. I was awake though and felt pretty dang good after such a deep sleep.
Having been up for a couple of hours and with the breaking of fast my plan is to escape into my various yards and gardens. With the exception of my therapy with Sir Dude, I have been tucked away here in our House of Seven Windows, tightly. This has been a form of exile and I know this.
It is my intention to bust through this daze I am in. I have considered that "the much on my mind piece", may have a minor roll with the non-sleep, but what I hear most of all is being told that this is a part of being Deaf and losing hearing...
...while I sit here listening to these noises which have figured I am awake and alert, a Spider has begun his day between my scalp and skull as of seconds ago. I'll be outside.
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