Kindred,
Have been home from appointment with Sir Dude for a few minutes. The bus trip to and back were eventful one's. On the way over to Sir Dude's office it was necessary that I sit in the rear of the bus. There were two passengers already on the Lil' Blue Bus and both sat in the front of the vehicle. Well, that stirred me up good and plenty. Goodness Gracious, I got to deal with new rounds of nausea that provoked from places different than usual. The motions created by my transport intensified the dizziness damned near to a drunken state and the clatter of the rear of the bus and sounds within made the trip almost unbearable. Thought I was to hurl and thought wrong. Thank You Great Spirit! I just remembered that it is my responsibility to bring along a receptacle with which to catch the whatever''s may be in my stomach or not at any given time. Effective today, I shall carry within my over-the-shoulder two or three bags. For them just in case's. Like earlier today. Oh yes, I also for what ever reason, had switched to the left side of the bus this morning. Which is something I have never done, I enjoy sitting on the right of the bus because I want to see the fool who bashes into the side of my Lil' Blue Bus. Oh, and them trucks and large vehicles were startle buttons every time one passed us by. Speaking of passing us by, on our way home from therapy I noticed while Miss. Driver slowed to a halt at a Rail Road Crossing that there were drivers in their vehicles zooming us by. No, I mean to share that there is no respect at all for the Bus, the driver or the passengers. I asked Miss. Driver, if there have ever been smashes from the rear because of us coming to a stop. My dear shared with me the truth that she summed up in three words, "all the time". Well, I guess I know now. Never did know before today though. Look, I have to tell the truth about something, for the first time ever, I did not wear my seat belt on the way over to Sir Dude's office. It was that whole left side, sitting on wrong end of the bus thing and thinking I was to hurl, stupid type excuses. This afternoon hearing her state, "all the time", just like that too, not "ALL THE TIME!", but quite truly a chilling, "all the time". With such very matter of fact tone, that there was a lesson right then. I know what time it is. I knew what time it was this morning too, but now I really know that I will never go without my seat belt again. Note and promise to self. Alright then.
My urges are pulling me to bed for a return to slumber. It is such that I know if I were to entertain the very notion, I would sleep the remainder of this 24th day of October, 2012. And, I really don't want this to happen. I am fighting this urge and am compelled to make it so that I not sleep until early evening. The Sun is setting earlier these Florida Fall day's and the night seems longer than ever life. My eye lids are heavy and I so wish to remove the articles of clothing on my skin for a return to Dream World. But I won't. If I did so now I would consider such a failure on my part.
After sending out this communique I plan to step out of doors for a spell, Get on my hands and knees and tend to one of my gardens. Touch Earth Mother and be mindful of same. I feel connected to my church. Because I am connected to and with my Church. I do not require the finery of expensive statues and stained glass and their dogma's...
...I am alive in my church quite simply because I am a living and breathing particle on the surface of the beautiful Orb we all live on. I am a representative of my Faith and Beliefs. There are Kin in my circle who desire to speak of their church or their place of worship only to create debates and share with me how it is I am supposed to behave. Believe. Walk. In. My. Shoes. Thus, I do not speak much about who or what my Spiritual beliefs are. I do not require the verbal intercourse nor the debates of those with Two Faces. I am aware and have knowledge My Path. My God.
My visit with Sir Dude was an excellent one. Much was talked about and plenty was shared. For some reason, my Right Good, Sir Dude, finds my motivations so positive and quite up lifting. I can feel his excitement, which is something that my Spirit's enjoy being part of. There are times when I am able to read his amusement with the one he knows as Mario, as he clearly displays this on his face. Yes, Kin I agree that this is the therapist meant for me during this period on My Path. I trust him and believe as of today that it is him and I, as a team of two. No longer the third one necessary. Odd how it is that prayers are answered in the way they do and it is amazing to learn from the decisions of others and observe from a distance the consequences of them. I am Blessed to have this therapist in my life. For now, I consider the truths and that it is best I keep in the loop with Sir Dude. So I do. When the time comes, we will have a talk to formulate a plan of action for an exit. Until then, Sir Dude and I learn from and are entertained by one another. There is a connection here, very close to the way it was I lived when Stewie was my therapist. Those are days I'll never forget and I so do love her as a dear friend and Kindred One. Our relationship has always been established on trust, meaning Stewie and I, and I sure am placing a life worth of trust with Sir Dude. A betrayal in my eyes would be near catastrophic. In my business, with the business of my business there must be trust. Period. It is this and it is like that. No in between. When a trust has been broken or sabotaged then My Path forks off and I keep on moving. It's simple like that, you see? My Better State of Physical and Emotional Health is paramount - THIS is My Business. If I can not trust one who is a vendor or is under my employ, then, the relationship is terminated.I've said enough.
My ears are full. My right one pops on the occasion. I listen to the random sounds and noises that dwell within my head. Loudly.
I am dizzy with a tipsy sort of manner. Knowing that whether in or out of doors, I must walk with a purpose. My gait has been affected as my balance and coordination are way off a center that I don't know of. My throat is sore from the urge to purge. I must push on, as this sits right here at the base of my neck, beneath my Adams apple and right at my chest line.
I feel the need to remove myself from the inside...
...my Spirit's wish to enjoy the out of doors and be a part of Outside. So, I'm out of here. Peace.
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