I've Been Living In Dream World

Folks,

Honest to God, this morning I had this realization that I have been living my life in dream world. It boggles my mind to think of the years I have slept away. Both literally and as a figure of sleep. You see, this and that's what this disease Meniere's does to me. I can't speak for Folks who have Meniere's in it's varying degrees of dread, but I am thinking though, that I may share what it is like for me to wear these shoes. I hope that a day will come when I am permitted to talk on behalf the of others. Right now isn't the time...

...right now, IS time to wake up.

I have spoken of the gloom and doom and I harm myself with the very bad talk I permit between these ears. Kindred, I don't accept nor tolerate this language from others, yet I'll destroy the very  esteem with these same words. No, it does not make sense, but then it all just seems so irregular to me today. Best to wake up now I say, because today is a beautiful day to die, and I sure want to  know that maybe I have woken up and have seen how I have knocked myself stupid and today realize how I bash this self of mine over and over and long enough. And that's enough of that.

I look back and think to myself, what the hell happened? Where have I been? Is this my beautiful wife? Is she my beautiful wife? Is this my wonderful life? I've been living in dream world and all I think of is running away? Running away from WHAT? My Blessings?

I am not a lazy man. I have worked life times and have always been a hard worker for others and looked for my dreams through others. It's time to wake up, because others aren't going to live this life for me. It just won't do. These folks who call me their Kin, don't even know me. How are they going to live or walk with me when their faces are distorted by their truths.

Something happened last night while eating English Sunday Dinner with some very dear friends celebrating a young one's birthday. Have figured it was the unconditional love that is shared between Kindred. Jennifer Lee, thank you so much for such a splendid gathering! I loved every minute of it. Being with you, your awesome children, parents and grandmothers, was all so much alive and full of life. I love you, your Lil' Big Man and your Pretty, Pretty Princess. There have always been something that sparkles when it comes to your parents. And please, your Grand Mothers are extraordinary Women! I love them as if they were my Grands. I would have liked to have stayed much longer - Botswana's back was hurting her so badly and the medications she took were taking affect. I so look forward to our next gathering!

Thank you for the fan-damn-tabulous meal and thank you Jennifer Lee, for being you.

Please, let us know how Godmother's family is doing. That emergency struck like lightening. My Spirit's were moved by the way Great Spirit touched us all last night...

...I wondered, what was the message from God. Lightening strikes when ever it is meant to, as it is written. I believe God was shaking me up and letting me know it's best that I wake up. Now! I've been living in this Dream World and on Dream Time long enough.

Here's a life to live and I want to live it with much gusto! The Meniere's and the suit case of illness's are mine to carry. This is my cross to bear.

Let me get up off my bottom side and live then!