Wanted to stick my words out here real quick. Sort of like checking in type thing. It's Monday morning and there's some tasks I wish to attend to. Mainly garden related stuff. I fall back into my lounge chair next to the pool and let the Sun burn into my eyes. The Sun makes it necessary to squint. I smile as I remember the days when I would hang out by the pool's of my life with my family, friends and lovers. I still have days with Kinfolk and Kindred here for friendly and family good times. The lovers have all gone and or are dead. The way I want this life lead?
I sit here now, still a young man and look at these hands and think to myself where did all of this life go. So many wonderful Folks to have crossed paths with. So many people to have loved and so many who loved me.
(There must be a better way to tip-tap than this non-ergonomic chair and desk. Yes, my safe place, but one I have out grown with the loss of weight.)
My Mom and Dad visited me in Dream World last night. They're both doing well and looking fit and healthy. Dad's still working. Even in Heaven, he's still working hard for his money or what-ever it is we earn in the after life. It would be nice to think that everything would come free of charge, but then, nothing comes free anymore. Does it?
I am doing well and have rebounded quickly from the ass stomping I received from the meniere's attack of Thursday, 20 September 2012. I have kept myself occupied and focused on the whatever I have been up to. Silly simple tasks and battling the sleep is a tough task in itself. Yes, it's true.
Tomorrow is my eldest daughters thirty first anniversary of birth. My baby daughter is grown and lives on the other side of Mother Earth. Happy and Merry Birthday, my child. I so love you.
It shocks some crevices in the brain as I look at the calender on the wall in my brain and wonder damn, where did these years go? Is this what life is all about?? There were times I could have done and did do anything I wanted. My family and friends think and say that I have been so lucky. Don't they know? Do they know? That this is the time of life when things fall into place. Isn't this the part where I might consider what it is I want to do when I grow up. Establish boundaries from them folks. Separate myself from some folks. Folks don't know. Don't say it if you don't know it. It's better off this way. Not having to listen to your voice is okay by me. Just let me be and move along with your lies and beliefs.
Seen.
I listen to a familiar tune in my left Deaf ear and remember listening to the voices of Kinfolk and Kindred with this ear. Now, they're gone and so is the hearing in that one damned ear. The hearing in the right is better that slightly fucked up. Excuse me? Would you please repeat that? What? Yeah right, X 1,000,000 times.
The Sun wants to touch my skin and my face and eye's. It can't because I am in doors at this moment but this will change directly. I want to get out. I need to get out.
...to feel that Sun on my skin and eye's and feel this Florida breeze brush past me.
And all like that, so, for now I say my Good Bye's.
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