An Excellent Emotional Enema

Relations,

Good Afternoon,

I am pleased to report and share what I consider was an absolutely awesome visit and face to face with my right good therapist Sir Dude earlier. Time had passed quickly on by since the last we had a sit down. My eldest was home and had taken me to my Safe Place for a visit with Sir Dude early on in her visit. We knew then that there would be a break in my visitation while she was home. Then time and Meniere's and it's shit happened. I was in such a desperate need of an excellent emotional enema and how cleansing the enema was in fact.

There was and would have been I knew, a bit of rubbish accumulated up in there. Stuff and rubbish that was holding me down, but I be damned, I didn't realize how heavy all of that shit was getting and the harm I was putting myself into. Things wore thin on the emotional front. Meniere's Disease, it's symptoms and rubbish, an abandonment issue that brought along abandonment  issues from years past. There has been much leaning towards the Sexual Abuse and Incest shit that has been stirred by one who perpetrates such crimes against a fifty two year old Man. The financial woes we are experiencing. This damned depression and bitter sadness that lives within me. My desires and wishes to be more and do more than what I do or where I am in life and on My Path.

As irrational as this may sound, I "must" continue to push. Push until I learn how far is too far to push and, Pray. I "must" push until something happens! "PUSH!" I sure do miss the life I once led. My job, driving, running, walking without looking as if I'm intoxicated. Are all such stuffs I took for granted, you see.

I'm thinking I am in a better place today than when Meniere's Disease invaded the world as I knew it. Yes, there is room for improvement. There's work to do and shit to take care of. For example: The next time the one I speak of attempts to or even hints of sex - I will ASSERT myself to INSURE that HIS bull shit NEVER crosses My Path AGAIN! NEVER! I Pinkie Promise...

...for Pete's sake there's enough for me to deal with and work on as it is!

I am thinking that this most excellent emotional enema has brought about some urgency and motivation. Hold that, let me rephrase the above by saying that I am aware this good and positive medicine and force has been stirred within my Spirit's. I like the way it feels on me.

That's a mighty good right thing right there. Thank you, Sir Dude. Thank you.