Relations,
Good Morning.
This communique is sent to reach out and chat with some one. I'm running on three hours sleep and am exhausted. My purpose today is to fight the sleep until dusk, then I'll return to Dream World. Until then, I just wish to talk about this Meniere's and this beautiful early Fall morning here on the West Coast of Florida.
Last night and up until 0430 I was awake. This is when I taught myself to fight this being a Zombie-For-A-Day rubbish and was able to get some rest and those three hours of sleep I mentioned. Yes, yes, I feel a wee bit Zombie-ish, but I'll make it. I have gone over forty hours with-out sleep before so what I feel right now is a certain calm. This new technique of 'focus to sleep', worked well for me this morning. I hope that when the next episode comes about I'll be able to use this same focus. It was so powerful that my body would convulse - so much so, my dear Brenda, abandoned our bed for the sofa in the large room...
...which is a symptom that will be discussed with He-Who-Touched-My-Brain and my neurologist. No, come on America, this shit isn't normal. Right. And I'm not the normal sort of fellow neither, but I mean, come on. I will contact both today.
Now then, the primary complaint during this Meniere's anomaly and episodes are the roaring and manipulating noises and sounds that come from between these two ears and an implant. So loud! So loud and with out ceasing that it is inhumane. I know this. There is simply not a thing that can be done at this point. It sometimes feels as if I have been sent on my way. Cut at the cord and sent along, but It really isn't such, because I know that my Better Health Care Team's at The Clinic, have my back. My ears, skull, and head that is...
...over the past twenty four hours I have had the loud and amplified sounds of The Swamp, six foot tall crickets, roaring Jet Fighters, an old familiar voice here or there, the beeping and the beeping's. This Morris Code has been too busy this day, hour to hour. I have also had this Choir like, Angelic, 'awwwwwwww'. Like the way I typed it, One would say it. Awwwwwwwwwww, long, loud and clear. And so on and so on. And on. These noises and sounds are a raunchy pain in my ass. Even if I may find myself entertained by them from time to time. This shit will drive a sane Man mad. Seen.
Truth. I know.
Over this same twenty four hours I have had nausea that rested smack dab in the middle of my throat. While reading last night, I vomited into my mouth - I thought I was going to burp. Other than that, there was no other activity. Just my burps and I. Hell, even at Sir Dude's office yesterday, I naturally began to burp to fight the nausea and hurling of chunks. All along knowing that all I had to do was to go stand in front of the commode and let Nature happen. Walking My Path, with constant nausea is not right and it just can't be normal. No pills - no aid. And yes, we have tried all forms of pills and capsules.
I may have lost a couple of extra pounds yesterday with the way I sweated and perspired. Misted. I was a sweaty mess several times throughout the day and well into the night. At this moment I am misting. There's this light build up of perspiration that's around my skull, fore head and neck. This is why, my Kin, I wear the bandannas. The Four Seasons and the year long I wear them and do not care what color I may wear. Although, red, blue and grey camo are my favorite colours. Way. Went through three t-shirts yesterday and am topless at this instant. No meds.
The dizziness was a raging nine earlier this morning. There was a time or two when I thought I was having a Meniere's, Vertigo Attack. I was blasted and plain unsure what was happening. Every once and again, I'll approach panic and debate on calling the 911 emergency number. Reflecting on that makes me think that there would probably be a bit of a Baker's Act involved, should things get that severe. Yes, there is and are medicines and medications that I take for this. Apparently, Meniere's Disease, shits on these very pretty in pink pills.
Now that I am here. I gather my thoughts...
...and as I see my reflexion on the snow covered mountain, I remember to keep on pushing. And I'll push until I drop. There have been times when I am asked not to push myself, to take it easy and rest. Honey, I'm fifty two. I'll rest when it is time for my Spirit's and Soul to move along. As far as pushing this ever-changing envelope, I will push until I know where and when 'too much is too much'. Until then, I'm going to push this shit to Deaf!
Just got off the telephone from She-Who-Walks-Tall. Great Spirit, I thank you with all of my life for the Blessing of having My Path cross with Hers. I thank you also with a Full Heart for She-Who-Walks-With-The-Cherokee's, for being our Earth Angel. I love them immensely and surly do not know where I would be today without them in my life. My Sweet Brenda, Mother of our two most beautiful daughters, has, as I am aware, been my everything since way before the Meniere's moved into our lives. To include the rolls of Doctor and Nurse. Mother and fellow earth Spirit too. Oh, my dear. I love you so much.
Today, is a good day to be alive.
No comments:
Post a Comment