Blue

Dearest Kin,

I sit her quite blue and maybe a bit sad even...

...nausea is my number one complaint at this moment. I feel it at my Adam's apple. I am also dizzy and have been perspiring and sweating for the past hour. I am wearing my BAHA, Bone Anchored Hearing Aid, and had hoped it would help me with these noises and sounds going on between my ears. No description this evening. Please. It's the same old shit, my Relations. Maybe a bit heavier than most even.

My emotional status is a three at this moment. Had tried so hard earlier to keep myself and the Spirit's who live with-in me at a level where I could enjoy my sister Lou Anna's company. Her being off from work was something out of the ordinary and it was cool to hang out and get away from the house for a while. Something occurred during our outing that made things quite uncomfortable and unpleasant. What was once a comfortable and pleasant outing. Flipped.

I don't know why I still let some Folk's talk to me any sort of way. I suspect this is something that has tailed me my entire life. In my brain's - if you want my respect, please, speak with me as I speak with you. Denials or rejections are harsh, when the rejection comes from one in your circle and they know you know that no damned stranger speaks to one in that tone. Well, then that quantifies as a denial. A rejection.

So, yes I'm blue.

This week has been one for the denial processes of the powers that be. This bull shit hypocritically-different Man's government. Tell me that I make too much money. What is this, a bad joke? Folks, you do see, I really tend to take rejection personally.

Earlier this week I was informed I did not qualify for assistance with Bus Fee's because I make too much money. Although I had not shared this with anyone earlier, due to the Man who still lives in my body, was made aware this week that we were disqualified from food assistance because we make too much money.

Odd and fortunate disqualification's, I am thinking. A blessing in disguise? I don't know yet.

So, yes I'm blue.

This latest rejection is from the Folks from AdSense, here on the very blogger that I have used solely and only from the Day One. Committed to and have poured my words, my passions and experiences into. As in the only blog I have ever used and have remained loyal to them. And to those who read my blog. It's not as though My Path goes unread or strays off and away. thousands and thousands of kind Kinfolk, Kindred and the Relations who have visited and read about this Meniere's Disease, my travels and My Path's odds-n-ends. My Life.

I have since early on advertised amazon for these Folk'. For free. No body said shit then. As my Guests are well aware, my bride and I have gone through some unfortunate and treacherous times with my health and her health and operations and surgeries and doctor bill's upon doctor bill's. So much so that, that equation excludes the bills, petroleum, food, the electric, my simple-simple-ass-telephone and again, the bill's. Am being told that I don't have enough paragraphs. Please?

Yes, I'm blue.

But hold it, I won't say any more to disparage them in the position to make these decision's. I understand these kind Folks have jobs to do. I also understand that not everyone will be approved for aid or assistance, but dammit. But please Folks, can't you help a brother?

My Sweet Dearest Cousin Linda, I hope you are well and recovering good and proper from your recent operation. God Bless you and your family. You know, I love the mess outcha Kid!!

To be rejected by the very people I have been representing is a betrayal.

I have felt this before, you see. From Kinfolk, friends and associates...

...them, in the outer circle's of Life's Cycle. So, yes, I'm blue.

I have nothing else to say.