No Dentist Yet

Dearest Kindred Ones,

Kind Ones,

No, I have not yet gone to dentist. Nope, no dentist yet.

Yes, I know, I am a grown fellow who just happens to have a very loose tooth in my mouth. Loose  like the loose teeth we would get as children, and I would get all sick and sissy shit like that. Once or twice, my Kid Tom Boy Sister Face, pulled one tooth, I may have pulled one or two and Maw got them others. I don't know, seemed like to me when Mom pulled the tooth out it always seemed to hurt more. Followed by the happiness of knowing I would soon be visited by my "Boy" Tooth Fairy. As a Boy, I really didn't think there would be any yucky girl tooth fairy any way. For that matter, I don't think I had ever considered other wise as a boy. And I had a Fairy God Father too! Who has always been One of my fondest mentors. Sashay, sashay that. 

I very much dislike dentist visits.

I be damned if I don't really, really have one. A true loose tooth as a grown man and true to what was once a live and cheerful tooth, is now a doomed damned loose tooth. What is this?! When I pull my loose tooth out of my lower jaw, or rather when it falls out, I'm going to place it under my pillow and hope the Tooth Fairy drops me off a nice surprise. Or a lot of money. Or both.

But yes, and oh, this fear of a dentist is fucked up, it affects me and affects the visits, I have gone into shock twice in dentist office and this true fear is something that has come along later in my life. I'm recently fifty-four, in my younger years, before Anorexia and Bulimia, I had a brilliant cavity less set of mixed breed white teeth. The Bulimia literally destroyed my teeth, slowly and one by one. As a bonus, I developed this irrational fear of the dentist.

Any dentist, any clinic or group - all sound, smell and all result in same thing with every visit. More damned pain. And Sam, I just don't have time for that.

I'll be making it to my dentist within the next two weeks if not sooner. I hope. It is necessary I have a Patient Advocate with me. This dentist wants to do work with my teeth present day. These are words spoken by him through his Assistant. Thoough the clinic is near enough to walk, the working on my teeth will require an aid and has also require a release form for the my surgeon who operated the implant and placed metal plate in my skull. And this, and...

... hmmm, nope, no dentist yet.

Russia, my thoughts are with you! Russia, my prayers are with you!