Time. Having passed so quickly by, brings me here several weeks fast forward, it seems. As if I have been chosen the busy one, so too busy since I was last here on the blog. Chatting with you, my guests and reader's.
My health piece has had me under it's control, though I have maintained contact with those who need to know and with them I love. Since Saturday, the 7 December, I have dealt with the sleep that comes post Meniere's Disease attacks. I have slept well past eighty hours of life in a hand full of days.
Over the course of these same weeks, I have also been at charge with establishing true boundaries with them who I have attempted to do so with in the past, I have attempted to communicate and speak clearly on how this feels in my heart. So then, I grew weary of repeating myself over and over again. No, it's is not damned funny when you play 'fake' Sign Language. Think back to that fool in South Africa, who got away with making an ass of himself, our Deaf People's and the South African government. I am glad he was caught in South Africa, he will suffer the consequences, as well as the folks who put him there. What an ass-hole. No, my deadest Kin, it is not funny. It is not funny when you get to play and re-play emotional games when it comes to my disabilities. Time and time again. I am your brother, I am your Kin Folk and Kindred One, these cruel games, especially these you play with that are in my skull, brains, neuro systems, and me being Deaf and Hard of Hearing, and truly fuck away if you joke this is selective hearing.
These illnesses that affect my body and mind every damned day of life will no longer be a source of entertainment. Never, ever again for any of you. Yes, I have already had the feedback I expected. As I knew this is how this conversation would turn out. NO! I am not responsible for the way you would react to a rational adult conversation, neither is it my fault. Not in any way or form - I can not make a person say or do what this Kin Folk. If I speak with you you about this subject understand that it is a sensitive matter when it really isn't necessary for the drama. Own up to 'your damned' words or activities and we move along then. Seen.
No. Not yours or theirs, and then if after, perhaps for me, too many side bar's, things change.
No, this isn't a matter of woof-woof or meow-meow. Not a matter of fault or blame, this is simply, a matter of fucking fact. I am deaf. I am Hard of Hearing. I can't breathe too well sometimes because I can't breathe. I have a loose tooth on the lower right jaw. I have listened to the spinning wheel of "Wheel Of Fortune", for what seems like hours, I have had a squadron of WWII Fighter Jets stuck in suspended animation above my home. Botswana says no, there is nothing there. I believe her. My Cervical spine is at war with my body. I have cried today. I cry daily and nightly, over these fucking pains that are so bad that all I can do is cry. I fall over nothing. The walls and door ways and arches move in my life. My right ear pops and plops out loud. I hear and listen to sounds and voices and noises in my home. Going to The-Store-With-The-Big-Red-Dot is very tasking for me, as is the trip to my favorite market where shopping is a pleasure - though I must report, that I have fallen in love with a local German Super Market. A place I have never fallen!
Right then, I gotta stop a spell. Love, peace, and more peace.
P.S. I am only doing what Mr. Charles Wright and the Watts 103rd, asked me to do all those years ago. And yes, I am expressing myself with great gusto! Along with sweet R&B and pure pre-Funk. The sounds of realization and an awakening. Yes, Zena, I still listen to this sweetness to this day. "What ever you do - do it good." "You all do it!" "It's not what you like, when ever you do, whatcha do, do it good. It's whatcha doing when you're doing - whatcha look like when you're doing it. Express yourself. Express yourself. Do it to it! You all do it! I am a doing it! Huh? I am Fifty-Four years of age, and can say that I am still learning just how to express myself. If you don't like what I speak of, don't read me. I Hey, hey, hey, I'm here to express myself. Seen?
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