I have and will with purpose not share this post with kinfolk on the social network or in a talk. It is my intention. If and when this is read by my Relations, I'll cross the talk then. Really, if anything were to be said - I could not listen. I have lost my ear's.
Today and especially this afternoon, the meniere's gave me hell and required a certainty in my walk(with my walker) and with my my talk. Symptoms were dreadful with non-productive nausea, dizziness (as intoxicated) something awful, sweating/perspiring, and the omni-present noises in both ears. Several times I suspected an attack was headed my way. It did not. What can I do?
Today and last night the depression rose to the surface. Did have therapy with my Sir Dude this afternoon and what a fantastic visit! I feel as if I was able to give my brain/mind a nice colon cleansing. My mind has been traveling so fast for so long folks. And I keep on keeping on - pushing that damned envelope. Since then, gloomy situations.
...my tires are stuck in the mud, but I keep stepping on the gas...
Look, the something I had not shared about last night is that I did two surgical procedures on my left hand. Scraped layer-by-layer an odd consistently growing wort and have dug deep to reach a pencil point that has been on my hand since elementary school. My wonderful and highly skilled remover of cancers, lumps and bumps...by doing her job showed me all I have to do. She has done same to me. I just don't have the numbing shots. That's okay by me. Have not felt pain in a spell. I wrote a note on last night's post, but I erased/deleted it. This is something I am not wanting to share, but Sir Dude has provided me with in-sight and the motivation to get this off my chest...this shit I carry on my shoulder's, in my mind, my Spirit's. I get so tired living life like this...
...please, you all, don't pass judgement on me. I really am doing the best I can...under such constant pressure.
I want to smoke a cigarette and don't even smoke.
Maybe with a bump in my Path, I head forward...
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