The Me I Talk To

Relations,

As I sit here speaking with the me I speak to and considered I might share same with you.

He-Touched-My-Brain and my experiment was a failure last night and this morning. Which in my mind implies that it is I who have failed. Please, don't judge me. Just know that there is a negative and unfortunate state of affairs going on between these two ear holes of mine. I curse and call myself names because I did not do as doctor wished yesterday. The sensations are disappointing and is actually quite an understatement. I feel dirty for some reason...

...God, I don't know why. Please don't ask because I do not wish to be analyzed at this minute. Speaking of which, that call to Sir Dude is something I must bust a move on. Like today, I ask?

My hopes were high at time of sleep last evening. I had this anticipation that was sky high and I reckon I had set myself up for this disappoint. It's one of those "placing all my eggs in one basket" scenario's.

This morning I woke up earlier than usual and laid in bed. And waited for my hearing to return from it's slumber. It took about one minute to begin to hear and then it took a few minutes to grasp a good hold on the sounds about me. The ceiling fan or the boxed fan and I strained to listen to what was happening out of doors. My hearing remained muffled even after I got up and  about. No, I don't know how long that went on, but I am able to share that I "felt" my own voice from the inside of my skull, chest and innards for a spell.

Right.

I have decided to keep my appointment scheduled by She-Who-Has-A-Strong-Face. I did not realize until this morning that 23 August is next week. Yesterday, I heard myself say, damn - that sure isn't as doctor wanted - saying to myself that that seemed so far off. Today, I have read the calender and see that it was a distortion of time in my head that created my puzzle. I am sorry for placing blame on another when the blame lies here with me. She-Who-Has-A-Strong-Face, I am sorry. I had no clue that my daughters departure was approaching with such quickness. I had told myself there was time to spare. If it requires I take the Little Bus to TGH, then I will. This appointment for testing and face to face with my doctor is important. It is but the time that passes on by so quickly that blows my mind...

...My God. I say to myself.