Changes

Kin,

Well, I've been going through some changes for a year plus a few here the past few years. Meniere's Disease, deafness, multiple operations, multiple hospitalizations and phenomena's. There's a few things right there. Oui?

I don't appreciate it nor do I accept what some Folks like to do with my heart. My love and respect. There comes a time, you see, when a person must cut the cord and consider what has gone on - has happened and there's not much to do about it. Now! But change myself. Other than that, I wish to bring some closure to whatever it was one of us or another thought of as friendship. Or Kinship or Kindred. Whatever the fuck you thought it was.

I'm not the divorcing kind, but it really is time for me to say farewell to a few. Them with two faces have been exceptionally forbidding and their energies unpleasant and artificial. Please, it seems as if some of you were on for the Meniere's Disease Wagon, then you baled. I am unable to take the word of some of my own Kinfolk. Even a couple I may have felt Kindred, it was only I, I was fooling...

...every body plays a fool, as Smokey, might say. Well, I am ready to ask some Folks to please and politely kiss both cheeks of my ass. The fool has moved on. Changes.

Yes, I do in fact go through this on occasion. And I think and take inventories of myselve's. There are times when other folk play a role in this inventory process...

...and I come up short at my register every damned time. Some fools have played me for a fool long enough. Done so while I have been ill or recovering from surgery after surgery. Have done so while breaking bread with me, while speaking open hearted and bare. Betrayal and pay back is a mother fucker. Somewhere with-in those energies and vibrations, the word Karma comes to mind.

Please, let me remind the reader that there are just too many Kinfolk and Kindred, who find it okay in their minds to reprimand me for being Deaf and Hard of Hearing. Yes, I have brought this up in previous posts and find it apropos for this communique. Changes.

There has been something that has changed about the Kinfolk and Kindred who have made their plans with me and spoke their words and made promises with me. To me. To lie to me. Shit! Strike Three and you've got to be out, Honey! Stop playing with my emotions! Fuck!

Stranger's don't seem to trouble me much anymore. Am beginning to enjoy the expressions on the little kid's face and have noticed that younger folks and children have less problems with my skull and implant than grown ass Folks. I am still not digging the adults who make a round about down an isle at the market to catch another peak. Bleeding ass holes. Double takes can be priceless though. Changes.

I have taken away the okay for people to talk to me any sort of way. I simply have stated to them that they can not speak to me like such and such never or any more again. It's a boundary. One I will remain steadfast with establishing...

...in public and or in private. Known or stranger - enough has been long ago enough. It is time.

Now!

I will surround myself with good and right energy and Spirit's. I will take care of myself and my Spirit's. To include the child with-in.

To the Old Man molesting me, know right now that this will no longer be tolerated. It is not acceptable! You are wrong! I will not be your victim any longer! So please, back the fuck up. Don't ask - don't talk to me about this. Just make it so! Changes!

I am feeling good and better and so much better in my skin. I am enjoying what I see when I look at the Man in the mirror. Physical and figure of speech too. Changes.

I'm a fellow who's been around a spell. It's time for Folk's to understand that when I speak my mind and Spirit's, it is not "hatred" that runs through my veins - IT"S ANGER! A recent epiphany, right. I am angry as fuck for having this Meniere's Disease! I am angry as fuck at those predators who molested and incested me as a child! I have been discriminated against all my life and while wearing so many different hats/flags/colours. Time and time again! I have been spit at! I have been beaten! I have been raped! I was trained by child molester's on how to have sex. What? What does hate have to do with this? I'm angry! Yes, still!

I don't appreciate Folk's confusing me with some body else. THEY'VE got to recognize that I am for real and I will Survive!

Changes are nothing new to me - I've had to go through this shit all of my got damned life.

Changes. Me.