Very much based on the amount of sleep I have had since the 11th, I do in fact conclude I had an attack of Meniere's/Vertigo of some form or another on that day.
The sleeping and the amount of extreme exhaustion I have carried, besides eveything that I had shared with you, my guest, on that day, brings to the forefront of mind, self-sense and self-awareness that yes, I had an attack on 11.11.11.
...although I knew, and even though I fought hard to remain functional and maintain a level headedness, I failed miserably. The sleep is what assisted me most in getting through these past complicated three days. I pushed where and when I was able...
...even accompanied Brenda and Baby Daughter, to The Big Red Box Store. After maybe fifteen minutes and two or three wobbles and knocks into end-caps, I began to sweat profusely. As if I was suddenly melting in an air conditioned big red box...
There is a peculiar and yet another symptom to mention about the symptoms I've experianced with this miserable Meniere's Disease. I've experianced this when walking and or sitting even. It is this, I have seen "my World" tilt! As in tilting! A good degree lean and tilt. What I am positivly knowing is that I have seen my world tilt to the left. I mean, one moment at the store with the big red dot, I was walking down an aisle and I saw all the folks leaning, the product aisle's were tilting and leaning. This episode was a ZAP!, but I have had these episodes last maybe three or four minutes. I had the pretty red buggy to brace myself with until the all clear was givin. Them that last a few minutes are the ones I lay down for. It is also these episodes that stir up laying syptoms of meniere's. I can tell you this. This has happened while viewing the televion. Just up and "Life" goes tilted...
...my right hard of hearing ear is still host to giant crickets and cicada's. I wear a mist of perspiration at the instant and am dizzy with a mix of coordination and balance issue's. Nausea is mid. I am sleepy.
Great Spirit, Please, guide my words and my mind to a peacful place as I tip-tap along alone here this afternoon...
I know I have tried to communicate to others on the "where" it is I find myself at any given moment/minute on this, My Path. I sure as hell have communicated with words spoken aloud to a good number of Relations. MOST surely to them close to me, with-in my Circle, AND on the business end of it of all, THE PROFESSIONALS, who are suppossedly engaged with my life's ado's. Them also known as "Them-Who-Are-Getting-Paid", are hired to council and teach me and the all of me, and lead me and we away from where I have strayed and have faltered. The breakage. I feel in my hearts heart, my words are not being heard. As if I speak into an empty room. Them with "busy" ear's, hmmm, them with no ears. Don't hear the breakage.
Don't you see that all I need is LOVE?! YES, I am human. A simple, yet complicated One who just needs LOVE, PEACE and UNDERSTADING. I mean Good God? How is it that when I speak I get into trouble?! And how is it that if i do not speak...really? I need you to be more here with me than other where. Listening. Listening? No names mentioned. Just really, en'it okay you help me this time? I mean, I am tired of living like this. My mind. My body. How can One, support another with the word "no" too much included. The word No implies a negative energy. While it is one, one must hear on occassion, it's the positive's that are not here. How can One apply Good, Bright, and Hard Worked For Energies, into something that has had a "no, you can't or a "no, you won't"...
...uhhhh, I am feeling in my very Spirit right know that this is counter to where I am headed. I can't stop! I won't stop! There's so much at stake. There IS just SO much at stake. I am TOO DAMNED YOUNG to have a top placed on the top of my name. The claustrophob won't let me go any further on that note. Please, just help me move ahead not hold me down.
This morning I awoke late and am ready for a return to Dream World. Yes, I am exhausted, ache and hurt...
The Morris Code I am listening to in my Deaf Left Ear is frantic. And so loud! It is as if whoever is sending out this message, it is being sent out desperately. Poor Folks, I sense with it radiating highly in my intuition that this message is sent from way up high. Maybe this "Top Secret" code message is intended for me and I alone. I don't know. I've just never thought of this like that before...
...odd, and yet comfortable intuitions are stirred. Am Blessed to meet you Ma'am and yes, you may lodge here with my family and I. For you are the One Queen, The One Mother of God, Creator of All the Heavans and Earth Mother, I Open My Heart To You And Say You Are The One Mother Of God, and I Acceppt Your Son, Jesus Christ as my Holy Savior. Amen.
Yes, then yes and yes. Love, peace and more peace, mario
...am I just a memory?
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