With in the past forty-eight hours I have slept mighty close to thirty six of those hours. Unfortunately, I am still with-in the grasps of the sleep queue and although I may feel and think top notch at this moment, I will be back in bed directly. Something in the back of my skull tells me so.
I have an urgency to share with you the sounds that I have been listening to and one of which in particular is quite stunning. The stunning sounds occured yesterday afternoon shortly after I awoke from a sleep. I was with the belief that I was hearing and listening to either the pulse of Earth Mother or the beat of a Pow Wow drum. A steady and forthright beat. Very distinguishable versus all other sounds I have had over the last few years. Of which I do not minimize in the least, but there was something sure and very real going on in my Deaf Left ear yesterday. I recently made comment of contemplating on the sounds, well this is exactly what I did. I listened intensely and contemplated on the sounds of Earth Mother's Pulse or the Pow Wow drum. I laid in bed for what seemed to be three quarter of an hour and listened...
...until the sound gave way to a different and familiar sound. The ole faithful beep's. Oh, please. I wonder, if it wasn't for these beeps, my Left Deaf Ear would be truly a Deaf Left Ear. Seemingly originating from a distant satellite as it travels through the outer reaches of our atmosphere. It does not go beep-beep-beep, but rather like this, beeeep... beeeeeeeeeeeeeep.....beep........beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep....beeeeeeeeep.
The "........." indicates moments of silence.
Of the two sounds, I prefer the beats of Mother Earth's Heart Beat or the beat of the Pow Wow drum. It was a steady beat, sure and most of all familiar to my mind and Spirit's.
My right Hard of Hearing ear is hard of hearing today. Earlier, there was the sounds of cicadas. As off in some distant forests, one makes a long note, then another takes a longer note and then many others join in at same time. I would swear there are hundreds tucked away deep in the crevices of my right ear and brain. I tell you what, them sumbitche's, make this seem like a torture to me.
Other symptoms I would like to share is first of all, is this omni-present nausea and it's ways of disrespect to me, the one with the Meniere's Disease. This nausea today and at this moment reaches just above my adams apple. Burping nor medication have been any aid. There isn't anything for me to bring up today besides water and medication and as bad as I want to hurl, I think it would only piss me off because I would consider it a waste of money. I am so positive that the medications in my stomach at this moment and at their prices would have bought me a mighty fine lunch. Or hell, the money could have gone towards Christmas shopping.
I am sweating and perspiring to the point of perspiration and sweat building up around my neck and stomach. As if I just came in from a brisk walk about. Right. I feel as if I am wearing a cap of perspiration which sometimes feels like a net of the cafe` sort. All of which is taking place in this lodge which is at 70 degrees. All windows are wide open and I am enjoying the change in weather. My skin and Spirit's would enjoy it more if it wasn't for so much being stirred up in my brains and stomach.
The dizziness I am experiancing is the sort that feels at eye level and is a rotating dizzy. Like a slow drive round and around a Turn About. Frustrating is the only word I can think of at the moment. Just damned frustrating. Today, I use both my quad cane and the walls to get from here to there. As much as I would enjoy being out of doors, I know that I am at high risk for a fall today AND even though I would rather fall onto my lawn, my rather large ass will remain indoors today...
...am learning to listen, you see? Or should I ask, you hear? No, you read?
Word. Yes. Oui. Si. Mmmmkay?
p.s. I don't want any damned falls. Have you ever had a dream where you felt as if you were falling? If any yes's - then that's the feeling inside the gut when I fall. There have been too times when a fall just up's and happens and hell yes, there have been a couple of times I have screamed.
So what? Falling's a Bitch. Alright then...
Love to all Relations! Love, peace and more peace.
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