Good Afternoon to all Relations!
In a short three hours I will be sitting and most hopefully seated in my most favorite big puffy comfy chair in the world. Sitting across from my therapist and confidant, Sir Dude. A day will come when I will be comfortable enough to share his name, but for now I am happy with his special name. The "Top Secret" name. Hell, he's a special therapist and I don't know too many folks who actually know his name. I think for now, this is good. I really don't want to share him anyway's.
Today, I will share tea during our gathering and will ensure the right good gentleman does not begin to have this..."duuuude, I'm about to fall asleep look on his face". Because I say this now, I will scream as loud as I can to awaken him and to stir the entire practice into a buzzing bunch of bee's...
...what? You don't know? Well, apparently neither does Sir Dude, because I will hollar as if calling the cows and pigs home to feed. Look, I'm just saying. I understand he may have grown exhausted from the yackity-yack-yack of his other patients, but I'm just not the One. Ya know? There's still too much in hand, too much in the brain/mind that I combat with every damned day. Yes, we will celebrate the going's on yesterday with He-Who-Touched-My-Undercarriage, but damn, I have the remainder of this Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket full of shit inside of me that I must continue to chip away at.
At this moment in time, this is an important piece and part of my job. True? True. Right then.
Maybe a cup of tea with some gusto, so as to get him proper good and at attention. I ask you now, Great Spirit, please do not let the fellow fall asleep on me...
...folks, will be dialing up the 911. Thinking "oh shit, Mr. Sierra's done lost it now you all!". Relations, the 911 over here is the Emergency Response number to call for when a person or patient has lost their flippin' mind. Besides all other types of emergencies. Green? Alright? OK?
I won't and don't think I need to make an itemized list of issues and or problems at this very minute. For my Relations who read these words, you know what I deal with. My plate remains full and at times spills over. I deal with whatever issues suface, do my best to combat it, deal with it and move on. All of the where. what and when it resurfaces, is on a case by case. I deal with it then and again. No matter what the "it" may be...
...the "it" smells like shit sometimes. I tell you no lie. Like Cow Shit!
Wait! Let me Share this. I have this Circle of family and friends, who love to share their thoughts about how good I look and how they're so happy for me. Please, don't say anything to anyone about what I'm about to say, but there are times when I really have this want and or need to say and or scream, "What in the hell?". Naw Boo, it's more like "what the fuck"? Really? I mean. I do love the compliments, please, who doesn't? But please, and I do say this kindly, please don't go diagnosing me with your diagnoses...
...and remember this. As I stated earlier, this is my job. To have positive energies and vibe's about me and if I insist on keeping my chin up, it is part of my Policy and Procedures. For the most part I do a pretty damned good show about it. But please, don't ever say you're happy for me, because you do not have the slightest clue what it is that lies beneath the surface of my skin, this fat and muscles and bones...
...or even and especially, what it is that is going on in this deeply complicated mind of mine. No. Be here or be there for me. Love me. Hug me. Feed me. Speak with me, but no, don't.
Now, on the flip side of this is if One says they're happy to see me, then we're on a whole damned different field and ball park. Because Sweetie Pie, if you're happy to see me, I sure as hell am probably happy to see you! And, oh, we'll have some chit-chat and maybe speak about this and that. Maybe have some tea, or Coca Cola or Pepsi, water, or a Red Stripe. But, as my sweetest bride has told me, ovah and ovah, I am like a Hen in a Hen House Honey, because once the motor get's turned on - we will talk and chit-chat. Huh? Okay then, I thought you knew.
So please, Relations, do keep in touch and I'll keep you in the loop. We just won't play Doctor. Okay? And whenever you're ready to call or stop by for a talk................"Holla"!
To All Relations, Love, Peace and More Peace...
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