I'll Remember

I'll remember for as long as I shall live how I felt when you held me in your arm's.

...how protected, guarded, and secure I felt. The genuine uncondtional love I would feel with your every embrace. Sometimes you would take my breathe away, you would squeeze me so tightly. I miss that so much.

I'll remember, the strength and sureness that permeated my very being when you held me that would tranfer from you to me...

...and mine to you. Because of you. And I. The all of our lives together.

The way your huge hands would engulf my large hands and humble me. The assuredness that would flow between us. You and I. Me and you. I never felt fear - from you or I when we were about and out. Who would dare?

The scent of your favorite fragrence...how it affects me and my sensory awareness to this day. Yes, damnit, still. The smell of your breath, the smell of your natural you. Your eye's. Your big beautifully warm smile for every one and all. That wonderful laugh.

Your voice has been recorded and is stored on a disc tucked away in a corner or fold of one of my brains. A video tape player is also there. All I have to do is press play and I'll remember...

...sometimes I hear you call my name. And I look knowing that it couldn't be you. But what if I don't look and it's really you? There have been times I thought I saw you passing in traffic and my heart skips a couple of beats.

Then I remember you're no longer here with us here on Earth Mother, and I feel the heaviness tug at the place you held in my heart. The place that nobody will ever take away from me. Us...

I feel this heaviness tug at "your" place in my heart, because it's still there...

...to die when I die.

I miss you. I have cried for you. I still have dreams with you in them.

I love you. To this very day, I love you. Probably even more. He-Who-Died-Too-Young.

Please, pass love to Mom and Dad and to all Kinfolk, Kindred, and Like-Minded Relations up there with you.

O' and how I do remember.