Goodness Gracious, Great Balls On Fire!
I had not noticed that this much time had passed since I was last here. The sleep and slumber have had me wrapped up like a big bear in a cave. With this cold spell we have had here in Central Florida, the past week it seems to have complimented my slumber and sleep during this post Meniere's attack. I have slept a deep, dream inducing time of sleep. Have slept forty plus hours in last two days and have slept seventy something since Sunday. Taking care of my business when awake, making calls and taking calls. Maybe sometimes when I could have waited, I did not. In my mind, it is the right thing to keep all on same page with what is happening with my health. These post Meniere's attack symptoms create so many disgusting affects in my life. I share that this sleep and Meniere's creates true pains, aches and symptoms that create spasms, gags of nausea, sweats like the gym and the sweeping whirlwind dizziness that knocks me down time and time again. And again. For Fucks Sake.
In dream time, I am able to get away from this sometimes. Good friends and folks come to visit me in dream world. Kindred and folks who know me and I know them. I know these are the very folks who have welcomed me into their dreams. Very few have actually found me here. If it is meant to be then, the world will reunite us, face to face, when the time is right.
I share right now that I have had times when I have had Shape Shifting experience's and I can see what it is I am doing and feel the speed and the wind brush past my furry face and curls as I am able to witness what I reach when I am on all fours and running faster than cars - with no effort and or danger around.
This is the speed that has had my heart, energy and Spirit's all stirred up lately. These Spirit's tell me that too much is happening. Too much talk. Too many words being said and shared and some thing's so deep it cuts to the bone. Yes, Kin, I have let go, I had to let go, Yes, I did let go. And Let God in The Spiritual Realm, and I let go here in the flesh when I had in action very much business with Vocational Rehab and following the each and every word these Kind One's would ask for and or request. Visit after visit, test after test.
My integrity confirmed, I am an Honest One, I am told. I have been walking this Path for many years and have now had a Blessed and well educated One tell me the same. I have worked for years and years to do right by my name and my Mixed Blood. I am Blessed by this. I am blessed to have met these incredible women from VR and VC. Their trust and confidentiality is above reproach. I am blessed to have them as my therapist, coach, and counselor. Both have been witness to One who has made right by his Name and Spirit's. It may have taken years and years, but I am okay with that. I have worked very hard and for many years for the words of humble and honest to be honored and applied to my name. That I am of Good Spirits. To have these kind and respectful words applied to my name is humbling and a little awkward I guess. I have just been minding my own business over the years and then when the disease moved in I had to adjust the all of my life. No, really, there have been times when this Meniere's Disease, has had me very wrapped up tight and when that happens, everything changes. Seen?
Again, I ask God, please, my King of Kings, take this from me.
This Meniere's Disease, it's symptom's from the attack, during the attack and post attack is what my life is and how I live when it strikes. I'm a God Damned Gimp, who needs assistance when out shopping at the store with the Big Red Dot. I am at Risk for falls and I do fall. I lose my balance every-damned-day and I trip every day. There are times when I am cold stone deaf. There are times when I am bed ridden. This does not include the several surgeries and operations I've had or those that I am in line to receive. I am a Health Risk. I am a Fall Risk. I am a Human Resource Department Manager's Nightmare and a major risk for Risk Management...
....these symptoms of Meniere's Disease, are the tip of my ice berg. My asthma is having me suck on my inhaler more that usual, I am wheezing and am tight chested. I am diabetic. I have blood pressure issues. And a plethora of other diagnosis. Should I remember, maybe I will post some in the morrow. Maybe. For some reason, I never stopped to ask, why or what? I carry this heaviness in my heart and chest and am afraid things have gone so fast and have gone to far.
For some reason, my rational parts remind me that I am once again ruminating. Gotta go.
Love, peace and more peace...
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