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Relations,

Greeting's.

The past four day's have been extraordinary four day's. I was affected in numerous ways by the Meniere's, but was able to have times when I felt strong and well. And slim too.

My nephew and his spouse and their children came up Friday afternoon to visit the week end. There are not any words in my mind at the moment to describe what I feel today or have felt since Friday night. My sister Lou, she is the one born after me. Her name is not really Lou, but I gave it to her decades ago-go. My baby sister and her fellows - her Old Goat and my two young nephew's gathered here with us and I reckon I just thought of the word once at bay a moment ago...

...joy.

Yesterday afternoon, shortly after the departure of all of my dear Kinfolk - I felt and sensed the state of being blue re-emerge and on the horizon, my Third Eye could see the clouds approaching from the North East.

Yes. I know I have been battling the depressions anyways. Well, I say so the what the funk ever.

Yes, I know I spelled fuck incorrectly. I intended to type the word Funk. I like this word, "funk". It is both a happy term and a sad term. Both sides of my brains explain to me that I am feeling and sensing both as I inhale and exhale...

...it's rather like a whirl wind in my head, you know. Emotions.

These sounds between my ears are absolutely ruthless this after noon. So damned loud! From both the Deaf Left and the Right-Good-Bad-Ear. Shit!

The Lodge is silent. All fans are off and there is no sound from the television or radio. With the exception of the F.S.U. lamp over my head all lights have been turned off too. I think I really just want to hole up in my purple closet and be surrounded by the way I feel in my heart and in my mind's place today. When the light is off in my walk in, I can't tell the colour is purple.

The air condition is turned up to keep from having to listen to it function. This fan above and behind me is sufficient yes, yet too damned loud.

Please, don't ask how I can feel this deep sadness in my core and yet feel joy in my heart. I speculate that it is part of my up bringing and a way of living for me. I don't want to talk about this or write anymore about it either.

Meniere's, SSD, Single Side Deaf and HH, Hard of Hearing, have me wrapped around my finger's...

...each and every damned one of them. Seen.

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