There's so much I want to say - so many things that I think of and live on a day to day. In my brains some rubbish just doesn't seem correct to me or even to matter really, but it does..
...I do admit I still permit too much of what of folks say or do - to hurt me or upset my emotions. I suppose I have been an easy one to hurt. Have I forgotten where I stored my boundaries?
Damn it though that that's me...easy.
It still dumbfounds me to hear and listen with my one-good-bad ear, how some Folks in my circle parade about in their glorified smugish ignorance. Moaning, groaning and bitching about elementary bullshit. Most of us in my circle are of The Working Class. I admit I am a part of the working class and have been such since before I became a tax paying citizen at the age of 12 years. So I listen and keep my mouth closed. Espeacialy words shared confidentialy. Then there are folk who want to find someone to take their shit out on. In words, in silence and or in action and let me share this, my God, taught me to listen to the silence a long time ago. I think as a child. When I do speak or take care of "my space", it becomes "I" who has a problem. I mean really, I do have issues. (I smile) I'm just not too sure on the problem piece as I tend to take care of problems or trouble straight away. This has been a life lesson for me. Take care of shit straight away because if not, the shit just lays there and I have to smell it all the longer. Probably one of the worst scents in the world is bull shit...
...one of the worst things to do is take your shit out on someone without even a notice. Especially Relations. Seems to cut the deepest when it comes from kinfolk or folks in my Circle. I know this as a fact.
Let me get this out here real quick - if you're a lazy piece of shit, you're a lazy piece of shit. Lazy is your problem not mine. Get your ass up and get a job. Oh, and so don't give me shit about the economy. If you want to work - there are jobs out there. If your word isn't worth a metric ton of bullshit - it's your problem. Please folks, just don't take your shit out on me with your fake face and fake talk. Your fake smile too. If you think your shit don't stink - lean a little bit closer...
I am cut off from the out-side world with the exceptions being doctor appointments or therapy with Sir Dude. I mish so much the public inter-action. The contact of family, friends, strangers, those who know my name...maybe a rare quick trip over to my Target, my favorite retail store. Or an occasional dash to the super market where shopping is a pleasure, my Publix. I can't jump in my car and drive 70 miles per hour on the highway going no where...I can't drive in my car to the corner store at 30 MPH. Would love to drive to Hyde Park and visit with my 91 year old Abuela Mary. Abuela is Grandmother in Spanish. I love my Abuela...
...I miss my job that was not "a job" at my Coffee House...so damned bad! Oh yeah, I worked my blump bottom off, but it so wasn't "a job". I so do miss the day to day that I had and lived until Meniere's Disease moved in...the loss of employment, the operations, the loss of hearing, the loss of balance on the left side and yes, I could go on and on and then on somemore, but won't. I've said enough...
...I'm easy...
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