You've Got Alot To Learn, My Path

Kindred,

I would love to say I am feeling better after this past twenty four hour sleep, but I am not afforded the luxury of making such a comment. Since waking up forty five minutes ago I have had this magical satellite circling my world's outer most gravity. A beeping that is not a beep and it isn't a steady non-beep  - it seems to go round and around inside me brains and creates a distraction that is just about all there is to hear and or listen to or hear in this once hearing left ear. I have no say so in the matter and remember having shared this particular anomaly before. As it always is when the Meniere's is active, I become not-so-active. Meniere's has me by the gonads today.

Oh yes, back to the satellite. This sound reminds me of the sounds that would accompany videos on this technology. For Pete's sake the makers of many films about outer space have created similar beeping sounds for motion pictures. Like this; as if in orbit - this sound prepares to pass on by with a distant beep and as it approaches the beep becomes louder then closer and louder. Once this anomaly passes me on by with its spin or orbit, the beep goes softer and quieter until there is a moment or very few of silence. Then the whole damned process starts all faking over and then again and again.

Yes, by the way, I have become rather fond of this term anomaly that He-Who-Touched-My-Brain placed upon me a couple of years ago. Hell yeah, I took it as insult at first, I mean I was like, "What's this anomaly bull shit Doc.?". Yes, really. It feels more like a term of endearment today. So, I keep it. As far as the noise and sounds of the satellite in orbit, I will check to see if I might find something close to it on the You Tube to share.

Speaking of the You Tube, I feel as if I have created a kinship with this business. I am amazed at what this social media has done with our planet and am so pleased and am blessed to have found an avenue with which to share some of the sounds and noises that very often torment my very senses. For shits sake! Every-damned-day-damn-it!

There is somethings that trouble me though. Something about my finding a source with which to share the crazy making sounds and noises I live with every day. I am afraid that not too many of my Kinfolk even give a damn about them. No, this isn't some figment of my imagination or some sad words of a lonely fellow. There are reasons I make this assertion. For me and the all of me, this type of silence is not new. This distance between kinfolk and I, is not some new God Dammed punishment handed out by my Kinfolk. I have been good for something motherfuckers and it pleases the fuck out of me that I have survived and have thrived without you and your ignoramus asses before. Your very temporary reintroduction in my life over the years of tears were all a show by you and your two facedness. You and them in your circles. You and them who are the self-proclaimed judges. Fuck off. Just please, kindly fuck off.

Oh yes, I have done good. Have done good and have done so for so many an awesome people and population. Time and time again, time after time and you all weren't there then - why had I held on, I don not know. Why lie? Why not just come to me and say why? I was brought up knowing and believing in the rule that blood is thicker than water. I have fought physical and mental wars believing in this. Here I am today, knowing better.

My heart has always been my Achilles. I love my Kinfolk and the Kindred One's in my life with such a force I am not worthy to share what it is that glows within my being.

I learned to make amends in my journey. "Give me the Courage", I've said thousands of times.

I've got to move on you all. It is time. This luggage is heavy and I have a recovery and life in progress. You've got alot to learn if you think you really know me and as of this moment, bye.