Relations,
Good Evening and welcome to a safe place to kick back, take your shoes off and relax a spell while you read and I hope enjoy what it is I share. How it is I speak and how I convey my messages. Also the ones I refer to as my utterances. Those times when I am influenced and am living in the moments with Meniere's Disease and it's symptoms. I do this form of communicating so that my guests and readers are able to get as 'up and close' as possible to this pain in the ass disease. Good gracious yes, it is one of them, a true pain in life's ass of a disease. I am thankful to My God for this not being a disease that will kill me, but please and even though, I say and share this now, this shit will drive me to madness beyond anything Shakespeare could have come up with.
Before I go much further, I share that I am a person with one deaf ear and it's also true that on the same side as deaf ear I lack balance. These were as a consequence of a battle against this War against The Meniere's. I lost these functions in a surgery that would lead up to my implant and BAHA, the Bone Anchored Hearing Aid and Implant. The first operation took place in 2009. Since I have had another ten or so operations and surgical procedures above my neck. The last two last year. Please let this be a good sign that there will be no more operations on my left side.
The hearing in my right ear is whacked. I have moderate hearing loss, as it measured by clinical equipment. I can not even begin to figure what this moderate loss would mean in real life scenarios. I know how it feels and what it hears like. Oh please, the time will soon be right for the next step in hearing quality. This will be an appliance of some sort or another which will then lead to another implant, my next Cochlear Implant.
As far as the disease Meniere's, it is always going to be this very humiliating and troublesome disease that will drive me slowly mad should I not keep a focus on what it is I have to do in my life and on My Path. That being forever vigilant and keeping the strong desire to stomp up on Meniere's Disease. And that extraordinary urgency to learn the language of American Sign Language. My heart and Spirits know this is the time. Soon, I will live in a world Out Of Sound.
I am One Deaf Ear now. In foreseeable future I will be "Two Deaf Ears". Yes, soon with expensive implants and even more expensive processors, but when the appliances are turned off - my hearing will be inexplicably turned off, rendering me - One Deaf Man. Seen.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Do Not Judge A Post By It's Title
Howdy Relations,
I keep meaning to translate that it might be best for some Guests and readers to not judge a post according to its title. There are times when I throw out something random on any certain publication. Other times I will have the title coincide with what the content matter might be and then there have been times when I have gone totally vague - hey, vogue too, on a title, as in to possibly give not a clue to the subject matter. Yes, I know and I agree, but it works both ways. True? Yeah, sometimes folks get it and sometimes not so much. There are times, I say in retrospect, that there have been reasons why I titled a particular post the way I did. Sometimes out of fear or retribution. There are perpetrator's of mine that are still alive and there are just too many people who know these bastards. There are other times when I simply wish to throw a change up and let things go where they may.
Heads or Tails?
Something else I keep meaning to share, my Guests, is that I do not get paid for blogging. These Folks continue to advertise as they wish, but I do not meet a criteria for this blogging place to advert and make a dollar. So, I don't make a dollar. I do not know what the criteria was or is and it just doesn't matter any more. I know "they're" getting paid because I see their adverts every time I sign on and for me that is a "so what?" because I have never gotten paid for doing this before and reckon I won't be getting paid any time soon.
This blog, Meniere's Disease, Mario's Path was not published with the intention of getting paid to begin with. I'm okay with where I stand with blogger.com.
So what. Big deal. Who cares? I just got lucky. That, and I do enjoy this blog so very much. I really do and so much so, I think I love being here. Being here to connect and to share what it is that is going on with my Meniere's Disease, my ailments, sadness and happiness. My Path.
I keep meaning to translate that it might be best for some Guests and readers to not judge a post according to its title. There are times when I throw out something random on any certain publication. Other times I will have the title coincide with what the content matter might be and then there have been times when I have gone totally vague - hey, vogue too, on a title, as in to possibly give not a clue to the subject matter. Yes, I know and I agree, but it works both ways. True? Yeah, sometimes folks get it and sometimes not so much. There are times, I say in retrospect, that there have been reasons why I titled a particular post the way I did. Sometimes out of fear or retribution. There are perpetrator's of mine that are still alive and there are just too many people who know these bastards. There are other times when I simply wish to throw a change up and let things go where they may.
Heads or Tails?
Something else I keep meaning to share, my Guests, is that I do not get paid for blogging. These Folks continue to advertise as they wish, but I do not meet a criteria for this blogging place to advert and make a dollar. So, I don't make a dollar. I do not know what the criteria was or is and it just doesn't matter any more. I know "they're" getting paid because I see their adverts every time I sign on and for me that is a "so what?" because I have never gotten paid for doing this before and reckon I won't be getting paid any time soon.
This blog, Meniere's Disease, Mario's Path was not published with the intention of getting paid to begin with. I'm okay with where I stand with blogger.com.
So what. Big deal. Who cares? I just got lucky. That, and I do enjoy this blog so very much. I really do and so much so, I think I love being here. Being here to connect and to share what it is that is going on with my Meniere's Disease, my ailments, sadness and happiness. My Path.
My Apology For Going Goo-Goo Over Pow-Pows And Bang-Bangs
Hello,
Let me begin by apologizing for the carrying on and whoop-whooping it up about guns and violence in America. I'm knowing that I have been upset and moved emotionally over recent mass shootings and the slaughters of innocents. The murder rates and statistics of various villages, towns, city's and schools where cowards go to do the tasks of cowards.
I apologize only for the approach in communicating my opinion's in such a highly upset and angry state. I'm thinking that I really am over my own state of mental affairs when it comes to this subject.
Too many in this country have bent and twisted logic into what it is they want to hear. What it is they wish to speak or yell and scream. There's no group powerful enough to ever disarm these United States Of America. I know this as truth and fact and am proud to know that an invading force would be committing mass suicide coming here with that shit. I mean, after all, this country was and has always been established by the violence that is perpetrated by them with weapons that can wipe out entire villages with three or four machine guns and a few clips of ammunition. I mean, look at what our own military and government did with the wanton mass slaughter of the People's-Here-First. Come on, already? This is America!
I am sorry for the people who's children are killed in this country every damned day of the year. I say that in a wide and open means of communicating that age is not the issue - we are all some body's child...
...but.
But, you see, I am One with and of the belief that when a coward dog-person takes a life, whether in mass slaughter or of a One Soul, that coward dog-person needs to be "put down". The quicker the better too. And please America, may we agree on bringing back the Electric Chair, the Firing Squads and Public Hangings too? The only way to be rid of a coward mad dog is to do what one has to do. Right?
AND, please God, please never let me find a damned fool coward dog in my house thinking about harming my wife, children or hounds, because it will be me to be institutionalized. For I say, I would very simply kill the person/persons with such rage that none would leave much for an open casket. With all respects. Of course.
We waste to much money and time here on the main land. Talk-talks-talk and argue and debate about what to vote to veto. Too many Folks are freaking out and freaking out other Folks. Can we all agree to just stop the dumb shit when it comes to our lack of communication skills? I say we will always have the right to have our pow-pows, pew-pews and bang-bangs. BUT, what we don't have the right to do is permit this mismanagement of weapons in our country to go on any further. Not any more, let we permit those coward dog-persons to use guns and weapons on the streets of MY country. Killing MY fellow Americans. The time is now. No more silence.
Let me begin by apologizing for the carrying on and whoop-whooping it up about guns and violence in America. I'm knowing that I have been upset and moved emotionally over recent mass shootings and the slaughters of innocents. The murder rates and statistics of various villages, towns, city's and schools where cowards go to do the tasks of cowards.
I apologize only for the approach in communicating my opinion's in such a highly upset and angry state. I'm thinking that I really am over my own state of mental affairs when it comes to this subject.
Too many in this country have bent and twisted logic into what it is they want to hear. What it is they wish to speak or yell and scream. There's no group powerful enough to ever disarm these United States Of America. I know this as truth and fact and am proud to know that an invading force would be committing mass suicide coming here with that shit. I mean, after all, this country was and has always been established by the violence that is perpetrated by them with weapons that can wipe out entire villages with three or four machine guns and a few clips of ammunition. I mean, look at what our own military and government did with the wanton mass slaughter of the People's-Here-First. Come on, already? This is America!
I am sorry for the people who's children are killed in this country every damned day of the year. I say that in a wide and open means of communicating that age is not the issue - we are all some body's child...
...but.
But, you see, I am One with and of the belief that when a coward dog-person takes a life, whether in mass slaughter or of a One Soul, that coward dog-person needs to be "put down". The quicker the better too. And please America, may we agree on bringing back the Electric Chair, the Firing Squads and Public Hangings too? The only way to be rid of a coward mad dog is to do what one has to do. Right?
AND, please God, please never let me find a damned fool coward dog in my house thinking about harming my wife, children or hounds, because it will be me to be institutionalized. For I say, I would very simply kill the person/persons with such rage that none would leave much for an open casket. With all respects. Of course.
We waste to much money and time here on the main land. Talk-talks-talk and argue and debate about what to vote to veto. Too many Folks are freaking out and freaking out other Folks. Can we all agree to just stop the dumb shit when it comes to our lack of communication skills? I say we will always have the right to have our pow-pows, pew-pews and bang-bangs. BUT, what we don't have the right to do is permit this mismanagement of weapons in our country to go on any further. Not any more, let we permit those coward dog-persons to use guns and weapons on the streets of MY country. Killing MY fellow Americans. The time is now. No more silence.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Life Goes On - Tupac
AMERICA,
AS OF TODAY, I BREAK MY SILENCE ABOUT GUNS AND VIOLENCE!
MY SILENCE HAS INDICATED MY APPROVAL ON CERTAIN MATTERS.
I SAY, DO NOT ALLOW THE POLITICS AND PROPAGANDA, LED BY BLIND AND
BOUNDED, TO FLARE OF THE FLAMES AND BRIMSTONE OF YOUR ARROGANT IGNORANCE! IT HAS BECOME OLD! VERY OLD, DUMB ASS PEOPLE!
KEEP YOUR SHIT! THERE'S NO ONE OUT HERE WHO WANTS YOUR SHIT!
JUST FREAKING OPEN YOUR EYE'S AMERICA! OPEN YOUR GOT DAMNED EYES!!
SEE AND READ WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE ON OUR STREETS IN THE LAND OF THE FREE AND THE BRAVE!! TIME TO GET REAL AMERICA AND THAT TIME IS NOW!
DUMB ASS FOLKS + GUNS + SILENCE = DEATH!
Sir Dude, I Am Wussing Out
My Dear Good Right Sir Dude,
I have called your answering service to report my absence from this afternoon's face to face. I asked that the person please not call you in the night as I called around three or so. I do not remember the young Man's name but he handled himself and represented you very well. Wide awake and doing his job. Please, share that with his supervisors. That would be our Grand Deed for the day. True?
Sir Dude, to say it bluntly, I am wussing out of our gathering. Please, do not be upset or irate. I visited She-Who-Snips-And-Cuts earlier today and I have been sore through out the afternoon and night. That's probably the wussiest of the wussy right there. My primary issue though is the Meniere's Disease and a sack of it's bull shit symptoms that have toyed with me the past several days. I have no word on the new Neurologist yet and expect the visit sometime come the new month. God, yes. This neurological pain "is" a part of my day-to-day, just like these shitty Meniere's symptoms that have been kicking my ass like I was being punished. I mean shit! From the sounds and noises, to the dizzy, sweating and nausea and vomit in the mouth and on and on and so on. I just fell totally disgusted Sir Dude. I am exhausted but unable to sleep. I try to rest but the noises drive me from attempts at relaxation. My body aches and is sore. Not only from the cuts and snips but from the ass stomping provided by the Meniere's family.
I am hoping to catch the HARTPlus to cancel my transport. I do not wish to be charged a "No Show". You know what I mean? NOTE: Ya-Hay! I have had the chance to speak with HARTPlus, just now at 0603. Bonus that I called in early! I will not be charged with the "No Call - No Show". Hip! Hip!
Sir Dude, I do wish to share with you that we have moved along one more step in the Vocation Rehabilitation process. I have not had a connection yet, with that next person, but hope by end of day today I will. All of this is happening with such a quickness, my Sir Dude. I mean to say, a keen and healthy expedited quickness.
If you wish, maybe we could do a "Session By Telephone". If not, I'll call soon to reschedule. Peace.
I have called your answering service to report my absence from this afternoon's face to face. I asked that the person please not call you in the night as I called around three or so. I do not remember the young Man's name but he handled himself and represented you very well. Wide awake and doing his job. Please, share that with his supervisors. That would be our Grand Deed for the day. True?
Sir Dude, to say it bluntly, I am wussing out of our gathering. Please, do not be upset or irate. I visited She-Who-Snips-And-Cuts earlier today and I have been sore through out the afternoon and night. That's probably the wussiest of the wussy right there. My primary issue though is the Meniere's Disease and a sack of it's bull shit symptoms that have toyed with me the past several days. I have no word on the new Neurologist yet and expect the visit sometime come the new month. God, yes. This neurological pain "is" a part of my day-to-day, just like these shitty Meniere's symptoms that have been kicking my ass like I was being punished. I mean shit! From the sounds and noises, to the dizzy, sweating and nausea and vomit in the mouth and on and on and so on. I just fell totally disgusted Sir Dude. I am exhausted but unable to sleep. I try to rest but the noises drive me from attempts at relaxation. My body aches and is sore. Not only from the cuts and snips but from the ass stomping provided by the Meniere's family.
I am hoping to catch the HARTPlus to cancel my transport. I do not wish to be charged a "No Show". You know what I mean? NOTE: Ya-Hay! I have had the chance to speak with HARTPlus, just now at 0603. Bonus that I called in early! I will not be charged with the "No Call - No Show". Hip! Hip!
Sir Dude, I do wish to share with you that we have moved along one more step in the Vocation Rehabilitation process. I have not had a connection yet, with that next person, but hope by end of day today I will. All of this is happening with such a quickness, my Sir Dude. I mean to say, a keen and healthy expedited quickness.
If you wish, maybe we could do a "Session By Telephone". If not, I'll call soon to reschedule. Peace.
Ohio Players "Love Rollercoaster", A Farewell To Sugarfoot
Relations,
I share this video and song by the Ohio Players to share the sad news that Leroy "Sugarfoot" Bonnet, of these Ohio Players, has just recently crossed over. My heart is so heavy. These were the sounds of my youth and yet now another one has passed away. My God. Rest Well Sir, rest well.
You, your voice and those of your band mates influenced me early on in my Funky Walk. Awesome songs with awesome lyrics and the damned funk as it was meant to be shared.
Love, peace and more peace, me
Sprinkler - A Sound Symptom Of Meniere's Disease
NOTE: This is not my Video. I do not own this video. I share it simply to share with others a Sound Symptom that lives in my head that sounds just like this sound to the drip! I mean no harm or disrespect. Thank you Kindly.
Dearest and Kindest Relations,
This is one of the MAJOR problematic makers right here! Oh My God! I know I have spoken of, journaled of and blogged about this noise and these sounds in the past! I AM FINALLY ABLE TO SHARE WITH MY GUESTS, OUR READERS, THE SOUNDS I HEAR WHEN THESE SOUND SYMPTOMS GET ACTIVATED! Oh, good night! I don't even know why I mentioned when the symptoms get activated. What the fuck is that - what I very fackin' truly meant to say was, is when these particular sound symptoms engage - my day is done. Right then done - because this particular sound symptom lingers for hours and hours and sometimes I will go to bed with this going on and then when I awake in the morn the sound waits to wish me a Good Morning. Shit! Shit! Shit! YES! I had a dear friend ask me today, is there noise always? Yes. Damn it, yes Man!
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Hello. Hello? What The Beep?
Hello.
Hello?
Right. Welcome to a place where it is cool and I am trying really hard to not perspire or sweat around the crown of my head, skull and scalp. Or neck. I wear one of my red bandannas tied just loosely around my neck, like an extra layer of clothing to absorb the moisture that accumulates here. This is not because of the heat of the night, this comes from the Meniere's.
The nausea and dizziness were a tag team today. I succeeded - even though I vomited twice in my mouth and once in the commode. I am not feeling well and am uncomfortable. Plain and simple uncomfortable.
My right ear has played chess with my emotions today. All damned day. My left ear occupied with the beeeeeeeeeeep of the emergency broadcasting system. Not the ruckus or the words spoken - just that damned beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep - loud and long and clear.
A new sound has presented itself yesterday and earlier today. I have heard and listened to the sound of a crystal wind chime, softly clink-tink-clinking in a cool Southern breeze. It makes no sense to search from whence these sounds come from as they originate from an ear that is Deaf.
The sights where doctor took specimen's are sore and achy. Not so much a pain as it is an ache. The one site on my left leg bled a considerable amount onto my Levi 501's. There was a neat bloody mess there behind and next to my left knee. The other two places are in sensitive locale and are sore as in a bruise sore. It looked as if I had been shot with a small caliber side arm you know, that tiny black hole surrounded by dried blood. So vividly epic, I say. Epic!
Wait. Here comes that satellite. Beeping coming closer and closer, hello? Hello? Israel? WTF?
Hello?
Right. Welcome to a place where it is cool and I am trying really hard to not perspire or sweat around the crown of my head, skull and scalp. Or neck. I wear one of my red bandannas tied just loosely around my neck, like an extra layer of clothing to absorb the moisture that accumulates here. This is not because of the heat of the night, this comes from the Meniere's.
The nausea and dizziness were a tag team today. I succeeded - even though I vomited twice in my mouth and once in the commode. I am not feeling well and am uncomfortable. Plain and simple uncomfortable.
My right ear has played chess with my emotions today. All damned day. My left ear occupied with the beeeeeeeeeeep of the emergency broadcasting system. Not the ruckus or the words spoken - just that damned beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep - loud and long and clear.
A new sound has presented itself yesterday and earlier today. I have heard and listened to the sound of a crystal wind chime, softly clink-tink-clinking in a cool Southern breeze. It makes no sense to search from whence these sounds come from as they originate from an ear that is Deaf.
The sights where doctor took specimen's are sore and achy. Not so much a pain as it is an ache. The one site on my left leg bled a considerable amount onto my Levi 501's. There was a neat bloody mess there behind and next to my left knee. The other two places are in sensitive locale and are sore as in a bruise sore. It looked as if I had been shot with a small caliber side arm you know, that tiny black hole surrounded by dried blood. So vividly epic, I say. Epic!
Wait. Here comes that satellite. Beeping coming closer and closer, hello? Hello? Israel? WTF?
Cut-Cut, Snip-Snip - That's Where I Sat
Cut-cut, snip-snip, oh what a relief it is!
Yes Ma'am, I am home and am doing well. But, damn it, Man! It's hot as Miami haute outside. We are in Winter and it is just about eighty-some degrees (F) out of doors. I might take a dip tomorrow. Damn it, already.
The visit with She-Who-Snips-And-Cuts went well. Three pieces of my flesh were removed from this beautiful "olive" complexioned body this afternoon. When She-Who, says that it makes my one ear hole so happy. Oh yes, two specimens are being sent off to a laboratory some place - somewhere. Eh? I saw the vessel in which these removed pieces were being contained. They are small specimen cups. The same as a cup provided for a urine specimen, but smaller and damned near cute too. I have never asked where it is my body pieces are shipped off to. I think maybe I will next time my sweet, cute and hot doctor and I have a get together for a cut-cut, snip-snip.
I love my doctor. I love her husband and her entire staff. I have been blessed to have had all of our Paths cross. I know this in my heart's heart and it's true, I love them like that. A bonus for me. Seen?
While relaxing and preparing in the lobby, I observed the fish and crabs in the sea water aquarium. Same as watching television, just no sound. I jotted down a brief note about my oneness with this aquarium of fish aplenty. And crabs too. So, this is what I wrote:
Here I Sit
Here I sit, next to this huge sea water aquarium here in the lobby.
I think of my nephew Marcelo, who does this as a hobby.
There was this large and elegant deep blue and yellow fish.
I thought what the hell? It's big enough to fit on my dish.
There was this black speckled handsome specimen,
come up to the glass and said "help". Over and again.
Help, help, help, help, help, help, and more helps.
I knew what it was saying - I read his lips.
A big yellow and white one a few inches behind him, I saw -
and read his lips saying blah, blah, blah.
Met a Lil dude named Gavin. Curious and cool.
We both freaked out on the hiding fish and crabs too.
His Mommy, as damned hot as the great out of doors.
I had naughty thoughts of me and Mommy -
oh my God, I called myself a damned whore.
That's where I sat. I sat there. Where I was a Ho.
Say no mo - say no mo.
The End.
Yes Ma'am, I am home and am doing well. But, damn it, Man! It's hot as Miami haute outside. We are in Winter and it is just about eighty-some degrees (F) out of doors. I might take a dip tomorrow. Damn it, already.
The visit with She-Who-Snips-And-Cuts went well. Three pieces of my flesh were removed from this beautiful "olive" complexioned body this afternoon. When She-Who, says that it makes my one ear hole so happy. Oh yes, two specimens are being sent off to a laboratory some place - somewhere. Eh? I saw the vessel in which these removed pieces were being contained. They are small specimen cups. The same as a cup provided for a urine specimen, but smaller and damned near cute too. I have never asked where it is my body pieces are shipped off to. I think maybe I will next time my sweet, cute and hot doctor and I have a get together for a cut-cut, snip-snip.
I love my doctor. I love her husband and her entire staff. I have been blessed to have had all of our Paths cross. I know this in my heart's heart and it's true, I love them like that. A bonus for me. Seen?
While relaxing and preparing in the lobby, I observed the fish and crabs in the sea water aquarium. Same as watching television, just no sound. I jotted down a brief note about my oneness with this aquarium of fish aplenty. And crabs too. So, this is what I wrote:
Here I Sit
Here I sit, next to this huge sea water aquarium here in the lobby.
I think of my nephew Marcelo, who does this as a hobby.
There was this large and elegant deep blue and yellow fish.
I thought what the hell? It's big enough to fit on my dish.
There was this black speckled handsome specimen,
come up to the glass and said "help". Over and again.
Help, help, help, help, help, help, and more helps.
I knew what it was saying - I read his lips.
A big yellow and white one a few inches behind him, I saw -
and read his lips saying blah, blah, blah.
Met a Lil dude named Gavin. Curious and cool.
We both freaked out on the hiding fish and crabs too.
His Mommy, as damned hot as the great out of doors.
I had naughty thoughts of me and Mommy -
oh my God, I called myself a damned whore.
That's where I sat. I sat there. Where I was a Ho.
Say no mo - say no mo.
The End.
Time To Visit She-Who-Snips-And-Cut's
Alright. I don't have much time because I sit awaiting transport to see She-Who-Snips-And-Cuts.
No, I am not afraid although am apprehensive. I share an honest to Gods Truth right now. I never ever visit She-Who-Snips and do not leave without a stitch or two tightly strung to some part of my body or this one. Or that piece of me that has been removed and is now in that specimen tube. Yes, I know they're called laboratory test tubes. My sister Anna Bella is a Test Tube Baby. No, not really, but I've always wanted to call her that. New Nick Name Notice!
Right. There has been two or four new "C" spots pop up since our last face to face. At the rate these shits are popping up we'll be able to play connect the dot's real soon. Um, wait. I think we can do that right now actually. Oh, how I amuse myself, I tell ya.
Even though I have approximately .50 hour until my "Be Ready" for the Little Blue Bus, I have an anticipation that is building up in my core. I reckon I do feel excited about 'busting out' and all, but there's also a state of anxiety that's brewing. I believe it to be overly concerned about missing my transport to see Doctor. That's considered a "No Show", and I be damned Honey's. That's just not where I come from. Seen.
I am probably going overboard with the too much self evaluation. Over analyze stuff. Me?
I have had my shower, shaved and shined my butt for the visit. There is One thing my multi physician's are well aware of and that is they know that I know, this patient is not gong to leave a funk in any body's examination or procedure room. Shit, before surgeries I sterilize myself! No! I mean, YES! I do. I'm one of them sort, you see?
I am in heat in this awesome and gorgeous Florida Sunshine. God, yes. And that's correct, I said I am in heat. I'm going to ride my Little Blue Bus and leave my fresh and so clean, clean scent everywhere I go. Botswana!
I mean really, it's not like that shit works anymore.
I'm off to see my dearest She-Who-Snips-And-Cuts! Hip! Hip!
No, I am not afraid although am apprehensive. I share an honest to Gods Truth right now. I never ever visit She-Who-Snips and do not leave without a stitch or two tightly strung to some part of my body or this one. Or that piece of me that has been removed and is now in that specimen tube. Yes, I know they're called laboratory test tubes. My sister Anna Bella is a Test Tube Baby. No, not really, but I've always wanted to call her that. New Nick Name Notice!
Right. There has been two or four new "C" spots pop up since our last face to face. At the rate these shits are popping up we'll be able to play connect the dot's real soon. Um, wait. I think we can do that right now actually. Oh, how I amuse myself, I tell ya.
Even though I have approximately .50 hour until my "Be Ready" for the Little Blue Bus, I have an anticipation that is building up in my core. I reckon I do feel excited about 'busting out' and all, but there's also a state of anxiety that's brewing. I believe it to be overly concerned about missing my transport to see Doctor. That's considered a "No Show", and I be damned Honey's. That's just not where I come from. Seen.
I am probably going overboard with the too much self evaluation. Over analyze stuff. Me?
I have had my shower, shaved and shined my butt for the visit. There is One thing my multi physician's are well aware of and that is they know that I know, this patient is not gong to leave a funk in any body's examination or procedure room. Shit, before surgeries I sterilize myself! No! I mean, YES! I do. I'm one of them sort, you see?
I am in heat in this awesome and gorgeous Florida Sunshine. God, yes. And that's correct, I said I am in heat. I'm going to ride my Little Blue Bus and leave my fresh and so clean, clean scent everywhere I go. Botswana!
I mean really, it's not like that shit works anymore.
I'm off to see my dearest She-Who-Snips-And-Cuts! Hip! Hip!
Monday, January 28, 2013
Famous Free Flying F***ing Flocking Florida Flamingos
Oh, my dearest Relations,
Good afternoon and please pardon my tardiness.
Well, if I had planed on reaching out earlier today, but then didn't get here until minutes ago, well then, I am tardy/AWOL to my own talk. That would be like so cool to be late to my own funeral. Wait! For shits sake, this may be the case as of this every moment...
...what if I did die that night back in 2004, when that board flew from the back of the flat bed truck - we were both heading South on I-75, in the rain and the damned board hit my windshield at only God knows the MPS - Miles Per Second, you see. This memory recently reemerged and I am reminded of that night when I was one micro-second this way or that way from being in Heaven with God, Jesus and Mary. And the Angels too.
There are these two and one other time in this life of mine that sticks out as one of those micro-second or two away from not breathing here on Mother Earth. No more. One was just a year or so ago when I had the bleeding from my head and scalp. If anything at all the passing of time has only reinforced the concept that I lost well over two liters of blood that day. I was at ease and not afraid.
Then, there was that time in 1970 when the old Spanish man smoking his cigar molested me in public view and tried to get me into the closet over at the Casino in Ybor City - one block over and three blocks down from the Spanish Clinic I was born in. Irony? I do not know, but I have always had this ill feeling that I would not have gotten out of there alive. God, the horror. My Dad in the balcony of the theater maybe twenty five yards away.
Shit! There was that time in Darmstadt, Germany back in 1978 when the polezi screeched their cars to a halt and came rushing out of their police cars with machine guns and side arms drawn at me, and my good-damned-best-friends-forever, Jim, Joe, Jerome. If just one of US had farted too damned loud or went just too close to that micro-second, my buds and I would've had free transport back to the State's. We were scared to near death - because we fit the "description" of another group of marauding American citizens out on the streets of Darmstadt, Germany. I so vividly remember this incident. It was "Cold War" times remember. This was profiling before profiling was cool.
In 1969, I drowned in a very clear cold river. My Dad saved my life. He told me to float.
In 1984, I was a full fledged raging Anorexic. There were a couple of times I was rushed to the emergency department and admitted due to weakness. No, I did not talk it then. Not until 1986 was I ready to talk. Family and friends diagnosed me with AIDS. Oh. Yes, they did. I was even threatened with my life if I had "the AIDS". Please.
In 1986, I held a loaded hand gun to my right temple. I also pressed it against my other head. After this I took the weapon back to the one who had gifted it to me.
Only my Great Spirit, knows how many other times I came within micro-seconds of crossing on. I consider my present tense, the case that not knowing too much is a good thing. I remember more.
Here I am today, totally okay if Great Spirit was preparing my death. I mean, today is one heck of a good day to die. Yes, this is also one heck of a beautiful day to be alive too! Ya Hey!
Oh say, by the way, I have lived here in Florida, damned near all my life. Right? I have lived in South Florida and here in the Central Florida area. Have spent many good times in Tallahassee too and know the bi-ways and old high-ways, so please, please know this as truth. We do not have any Famous Free Flying Fucking Flocking Florida Flamingos here in Florida. No. Don't. It's the truth, so don't come over here looking for or asking about our world Famous Free Flying Fucking Flocking Florida Flamingos. It's propaganda. Okay? Alright then.
I have no more to say.
Good afternoon and please pardon my tardiness.
Well, if I had planed on reaching out earlier today, but then didn't get here until minutes ago, well then, I am tardy/AWOL to my own talk. That would be like so cool to be late to my own funeral. Wait! For shits sake, this may be the case as of this every moment...
...what if I did die that night back in 2004, when that board flew from the back of the flat bed truck - we were both heading South on I-75, in the rain and the damned board hit my windshield at only God knows the MPS - Miles Per Second, you see. This memory recently reemerged and I am reminded of that night when I was one micro-second this way or that way from being in Heaven with God, Jesus and Mary. And the Angels too.
There are these two and one other time in this life of mine that sticks out as one of those micro-second or two away from not breathing here on Mother Earth. No more. One was just a year or so ago when I had the bleeding from my head and scalp. If anything at all the passing of time has only reinforced the concept that I lost well over two liters of blood that day. I was at ease and not afraid.
Then, there was that time in 1970 when the old Spanish man smoking his cigar molested me in public view and tried to get me into the closet over at the Casino in Ybor City - one block over and three blocks down from the Spanish Clinic I was born in. Irony? I do not know, but I have always had this ill feeling that I would not have gotten out of there alive. God, the horror. My Dad in the balcony of the theater maybe twenty five yards away.
Shit! There was that time in Darmstadt, Germany back in 1978 when the polezi screeched their cars to a halt and came rushing out of their police cars with machine guns and side arms drawn at me, and my good-damned-best-friends-forever, Jim, Joe, Jerome. If just one of US had farted too damned loud or went just too close to that micro-second, my buds and I would've had free transport back to the State's. We were scared to near death - because we fit the "description" of another group of marauding American citizens out on the streets of Darmstadt, Germany. I so vividly remember this incident. It was "Cold War" times remember. This was profiling before profiling was cool.
In 1969, I drowned in a very clear cold river. My Dad saved my life. He told me to float.
In 1984, I was a full fledged raging Anorexic. There were a couple of times I was rushed to the emergency department and admitted due to weakness. No, I did not talk it then. Not until 1986 was I ready to talk. Family and friends diagnosed me with AIDS. Oh. Yes, they did. I was even threatened with my life if I had "the AIDS". Please.
In 1986, I held a loaded hand gun to my right temple. I also pressed it against my other head. After this I took the weapon back to the one who had gifted it to me.
Only my Great Spirit, knows how many other times I came within micro-seconds of crossing on. I consider my present tense, the case that not knowing too much is a good thing. I remember more.
Here I am today, totally okay if Great Spirit was preparing my death. I mean, today is one heck of a good day to die. Yes, this is also one heck of a beautiful day to be alive too! Ya Hey!
Oh say, by the way, I have lived here in Florida, damned near all my life. Right? I have lived in South Florida and here in the Central Florida area. Have spent many good times in Tallahassee too and know the bi-ways and old high-ways, so please, please know this as truth. We do not have any Famous Free Flying Fucking Flocking Florida Flamingos here in Florida. No. Don't. It's the truth, so don't come over here looking for or asking about our world Famous Free Flying Fucking Flocking Florida Flamingos. It's propaganda. Okay? Alright then.
I have no more to say.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Alabama Shakes Always Alright
Kindred,
Please, NOTE: I do not own this video. I do not profit from it in anyway! I really do just LOVE this group and their fantastic music and medicine.
My name is Mario. I am a person living with Meniere's Disease and am Single Side Deaf on the Left and my Right Ear-To-The-Brain is lame. It works how and when it wishes. There are times when I can listen to this tune and be carried away with the energy and youthfulness of this occasion. I swear I do.
Alabama Shakes, has become a part of me and My Path. I love the whole crew as if they were a part of my Kin. And here in my heart, they are.
I share this music with the sole purpose of sharing what this person with hearing impairment listens to. Some day in the not too distant future I will be Out Of Sound in both ears. Yes, with a BAHA and a Cochlear Implant. Yes, true, but once these are removed I will be deaf to my world.
All of my life and My Path has revolved around music. Music is a part of who I am. Enjoy.
Tarafina, Sounds of Meniere's, Botswana, Ki Ki and Shaqweesha
Midnight comes soon. I sit here looking at a blank page on the blog known as My Path. Listening to the sounds and noises going on in both ears. I have had much sleep since Friday past. Sleeping too much and I am aware from where this sleep comes from. It is a not-so-fine blend of Meniere's Disease rubbish, exhaustion, discomfort and these damned sounds. Just a few minutes ago, I was listening to two completely contrasting sounds generating from within my ears and head. I laid next to my wife, listening to her breathe and too, listening to my daughter Ki Ki's hound, Tong Tong snore like a damned Florida Black Bear. I gave a good effort at reading, true, but the sounds of surrounding me begged a different spot for a while. So, I thought maybe I would remove myself from my not-so-fine comfortable spot to come chat a spell.
Let me begin my chat first, by apologizing to my dear sweet daughter Tarafina, for punking out on you and my Grandson, Lil' Dude. Oh man, I feel like shit for cancelling out on our plans. Please, darling daughter, do forgive your Paw. I love the idea of having a meal with your Mom and all of us together like that and all like that and Honey Bunchie Boo Boo, you know it's true. So as long as there isn't any friction between the 'Mom's' I'm cool with that, and besides, as your parental units I think it best that the two Mom's get along sweetly. Especially in the company of my Lil' Dude. I hope that you see how hard I - your Paw, and your Mom, Marge and your other Mom, Bernadette really do get along. I love you so much Tara. Yes, your Paw, sure does love you very damned much. I sure do hope that we are able to be with each other even if but for a spell prior to you and the Lil' Dude get heading back up to the cold North. Okay?
The Meniere's Disease, has toyed with my senses bad and I've no choice but to give my self an unsatisfactory mark on this report card. The nausea has been so bad I have vomited - in the commode and in my mouth. I have been sweating on and off and on this entire week end starting on the Friday. The dizziness has had me on the alert when out of bed. There were three times too many when I tripped and by the Grace of God, did not fall. One time was in the shower. Yes, while mentioning the shower; I am afraid that it is really all just a matter of time before I slip and bust my ass - if not worse. There have simply been too-damned-many, almost and oops I did it again kind of shits. Today, I slipped and if fallen would have bashed my face and or head, wait, um, but yes, I would've fallen onto the plumbing that extends from the tiled wall in the shower. I mean, worst case scenario would have been a boo boo on this handsome mug of mine. No wait, that would've been best case scenario. Anyways, enough joking. This isn't a joke and unfortunately for me I have already seen this happen in a vision. I am an injured dude walking.
My youngest daughter Shaqweesha, spent the Saturday and most of today here with her Ma and Paw. I am sorry baby for sleeping so much. I really did enjoy your being here though! I love you so much Baby Daughter! Ya Hey! By the way, thank you one billion times for turning me on to that "WHOLE" damned "Twilight" thing. Oh yes! Just what I needed! My God, where did these young Folks come from?! I mean, there were a couple of scenes where I know I gasped. Out loud. And was pleasantly surprised by some of the intense content. I mean, really? I am your Paw and you know that I know I have always loved Vampires and Werewolves. Remember "Vamp"?
My dearest wife and Universe Mate, Botswana, thank you for guarding me while I slept and thank you for all you do for me and our Castle in the Sky, way up here above the clouds where we can smell the fires coming from the lodges near and far. Babe, you and I have been together since the beginning of time. It was written in the "Big Book", that you and I were to be together. Not only as the so very young and inexperienced youth we were and we were blazing weren't we babe? We taught and educated each other through our teens years. Our early and adventurous young adulthood. Accepting responsibility and the responsibility's of being called Mommy and Daddy and learning from those however ridiculous decisions I or we may have made...
...here we are soon to be forty years later and I live still with the wonderful scent of your hair in my life. I love you. With all of my heart. With every breath. I love you more.
The sounds I was talking about in previous communiques continue to be the satellite that has been circling my universe for three or so days now and for fucks sake - yeah, it's true! That's why I share this shit with you. So that my Guests, Kin, and Readers know what I experience. This beep and beeping has been here from the time I awake until the time I close my eyes to sleep. As I shared previously, this sound comes and approaches from a way far and away distance then it intensifies getting louder then louder and then it passes. Slowly on and on and on softly - until it comes back around for another round. Oh yes! This comes from the ear that is Out Of Sound. My Left Deaf Ear. The right lame ear has been listening to the Amazon River jungle deep and deeper inland and away from civilization. Yeah, I know what that sounds like. I'm listening to it at this moment and I clinch my inner teeth because I want to curse and cuss - but I won't. I've already done enough of that.
Speaking of which, I think I've said enough. I have nothing else to say.
Let me begin my chat first, by apologizing to my dear sweet daughter Tarafina, for punking out on you and my Grandson, Lil' Dude. Oh man, I feel like shit for cancelling out on our plans. Please, darling daughter, do forgive your Paw. I love the idea of having a meal with your Mom and all of us together like that and all like that and Honey Bunchie Boo Boo, you know it's true. So as long as there isn't any friction between the 'Mom's' I'm cool with that, and besides, as your parental units I think it best that the two Mom's get along sweetly. Especially in the company of my Lil' Dude. I hope that you see how hard I - your Paw, and your Mom, Marge and your other Mom, Bernadette really do get along. I love you so much Tara. Yes, your Paw, sure does love you very damned much. I sure do hope that we are able to be with each other even if but for a spell prior to you and the Lil' Dude get heading back up to the cold North. Okay?
The Meniere's Disease, has toyed with my senses bad and I've no choice but to give my self an unsatisfactory mark on this report card. The nausea has been so bad I have vomited - in the commode and in my mouth. I have been sweating on and off and on this entire week end starting on the Friday. The dizziness has had me on the alert when out of bed. There were three times too many when I tripped and by the Grace of God, did not fall. One time was in the shower. Yes, while mentioning the shower; I am afraid that it is really all just a matter of time before I slip and bust my ass - if not worse. There have simply been too-damned-many, almost and oops I did it again kind of shits. Today, I slipped and if fallen would have bashed my face and or head, wait, um, but yes, I would've fallen onto the plumbing that extends from the tiled wall in the shower. I mean, worst case scenario would have been a boo boo on this handsome mug of mine. No wait, that would've been best case scenario. Anyways, enough joking. This isn't a joke and unfortunately for me I have already seen this happen in a vision. I am an injured dude walking.
My youngest daughter Shaqweesha, spent the Saturday and most of today here with her Ma and Paw. I am sorry baby for sleeping so much. I really did enjoy your being here though! I love you so much Baby Daughter! Ya Hey! By the way, thank you one billion times for turning me on to that "WHOLE" damned "Twilight" thing. Oh yes! Just what I needed! My God, where did these young Folks come from?! I mean, there were a couple of scenes where I know I gasped. Out loud. And was pleasantly surprised by some of the intense content. I mean, really? I am your Paw and you know that I know I have always loved Vampires and Werewolves. Remember "Vamp"?
My dearest wife and Universe Mate, Botswana, thank you for guarding me while I slept and thank you for all you do for me and our Castle in the Sky, way up here above the clouds where we can smell the fires coming from the lodges near and far. Babe, you and I have been together since the beginning of time. It was written in the "Big Book", that you and I were to be together. Not only as the so very young and inexperienced youth we were and we were blazing weren't we babe? We taught and educated each other through our teens years. Our early and adventurous young adulthood. Accepting responsibility and the responsibility's of being called Mommy and Daddy and learning from those however ridiculous decisions I or we may have made...
...here we are soon to be forty years later and I live still with the wonderful scent of your hair in my life. I love you. With all of my heart. With every breath. I love you more.
The sounds I was talking about in previous communiques continue to be the satellite that has been circling my universe for three or so days now and for fucks sake - yeah, it's true! That's why I share this shit with you. So that my Guests, Kin, and Readers know what I experience. This beep and beeping has been here from the time I awake until the time I close my eyes to sleep. As I shared previously, this sound comes and approaches from a way far and away distance then it intensifies getting louder then louder and then it passes. Slowly on and on and on softly - until it comes back around for another round. Oh yes! This comes from the ear that is Out Of Sound. My Left Deaf Ear. The right lame ear has been listening to the Amazon River jungle deep and deeper inland and away from civilization. Yeah, I know what that sounds like. I'm listening to it at this moment and I clinch my inner teeth because I want to curse and cuss - but I won't. I've already done enough of that.
Speaking of which, I think I've said enough. I have nothing else to say.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Meniere's Disease And The American Dream
I don't know if this is supposed to be happening, but since I began using my telephone with the captured words printed on screen, it seems as if my hearing has gotten worse. I don't think this a coincidence. Not yet anyway.
True, I knew that this was supposed to be happening with my weight. If I feed my issues and the shit with in, I gain weight and have gained twelve or so pounds since holidays. Now is the time to be applying the brakes to stop this - but shit, I'm having a difficult time. Damn it, yes I am.
I believe I am heading in the correct direction with my decision's pertaining to my future and investing time and energy in it. There was much loss of financial matters with my decline in health and then the Great Recession. We are essentially having to rebuild what was lost on less. Yes, that sounds maddening, but this is where I am and this is where I will proceed. My Body and its innards are here to follow. Full speed ahead I holler. Something that had ran aground earlier in the skull reminds me that my business is all of me. So yes, I will proceed with much gusto.
The sounds since I woke this afternoon have been non stop. The Rain Forest's in my right ear and the traveling and beep-beep-beeping of a satellite orbiting between my skull and my scalp. There have been a few urgent beeps sent from this satellite - yes, a Mores Code of sorts. Very swift in its urgency. Frantic beep-beeps damn it! Faking Frantic is the word now that I think about it.
I have not been the best company lately and please don't think I'm crazy. It's just that I wonder if I have wanted quiet or silence and have desired to some degree some of one or another. It's way difficult explaining how one who is deaf in one ear wishes for quiet and silence. I know. That's the magic of being that anomaly I spoke of earlier. God programed me as a certain fellow and well, here I am. If I die tonight, fine. Tonight is a good night to die. Should I wake in the morning I know that Great Spirit is not finished with me here. When Great Spirit is ready - I will know and will sing my death song. Until then, I am young, a healthier specimen and only want more of life. More as in the American Dream more. Yes! And hell no, Meniere's will not keep me from it.
True, I knew that this was supposed to be happening with my weight. If I feed my issues and the shit with in, I gain weight and have gained twelve or so pounds since holidays. Now is the time to be applying the brakes to stop this - but shit, I'm having a difficult time. Damn it, yes I am.
I believe I am heading in the correct direction with my decision's pertaining to my future and investing time and energy in it. There was much loss of financial matters with my decline in health and then the Great Recession. We are essentially having to rebuild what was lost on less. Yes, that sounds maddening, but this is where I am and this is where I will proceed. My Body and its innards are here to follow. Full speed ahead I holler. Something that had ran aground earlier in the skull reminds me that my business is all of me. So yes, I will proceed with much gusto.
The sounds since I woke this afternoon have been non stop. The Rain Forest's in my right ear and the traveling and beep-beep-beeping of a satellite orbiting between my skull and my scalp. There have been a few urgent beeps sent from this satellite - yes, a Mores Code of sorts. Very swift in its urgency. Frantic beep-beeps damn it! Faking Frantic is the word now that I think about it.
I have not been the best company lately and please don't think I'm crazy. It's just that I wonder if I have wanted quiet or silence and have desired to some degree some of one or another. It's way difficult explaining how one who is deaf in one ear wishes for quiet and silence. I know. That's the magic of being that anomaly I spoke of earlier. God programed me as a certain fellow and well, here I am. If I die tonight, fine. Tonight is a good night to die. Should I wake in the morning I know that Great Spirit is not finished with me here. When Great Spirit is ready - I will know and will sing my death song. Until then, I am young, a healthier specimen and only want more of life. More as in the American Dream more. Yes! And hell no, Meniere's will not keep me from it.
This Is A Meniere's Sound Symptom - Radar beep sounds used in films from 60's - late 70's (Cinesound)
Relations,
I have had talks of this particular beep right here before. It just about describes what I was speaking of earlier, but that would require spacing between the beeps. Yes. As in stretching them out in time and duration. Well then I have been able to quantify what it is I have been attempting to describe with my various beep-beep-beep's and what not's.
Yeah, no doubt. I did give my best shot at verbalizing my sounds. Always have - always will.
NOTE: I do not own this video, neither did I create same. I share this with the sole purpose of letting my Kindred and Guests, have some idea of what it is I am hearing and listening to in my deaf ear and the one that is malfunctioning. I mean no ill - no harm. I mean only well.
Please. Understand. I have listened to this shit in my sleep today! My, oh my.
"I Ain't The Same" - Alabama Shakes (SXSW 2012)
Relations,
This song is something that my right Hard of Hearing ear enjoys listening to. This is something my heart enjoys listening to. This is something my Left Deaf Ear wishes it could hear and listen to. Too.
NOTE: I do not own this video nor I do have anything to do with this awesome musical group of young folk having fun singing like a bunch of us ole folk. Please my heart. Bless their heart too. The music, my young lady's voice, her musicans and the instruments make a happy feeling in my right ear. Both of these ears have created issues today, but that is for some other time.
Besides, I would be wrong if I did not share what it is I do listen to, besides them that seek shelter in this thick skull and scalp. Now days I listen with a purpose. I don't want to wait and miss out.
You've Got Alot To Learn, My Path
Kindred,
I would love to say I am feeling better after this past twenty four hour sleep, but I am not afforded the luxury of making such a comment. Since waking up forty five minutes ago I have had this magical satellite circling my world's outer most gravity. A beeping that is not a beep and it isn't a steady non-beep - it seems to go round and around inside me brains and creates a distraction that is just about all there is to hear and or listen to or hear in this once hearing left ear. I have no say so in the matter and remember having shared this particular anomaly before. As it always is when the Meniere's is active, I become not-so-active. Meniere's has me by the gonads today.
Oh yes, back to the satellite. This sound reminds me of the sounds that would accompany videos on this technology. For Pete's sake the makers of many films about outer space have created similar beeping sounds for motion pictures. Like this; as if in orbit - this sound prepares to pass on by with a distant beep and as it approaches the beep becomes louder then closer and louder. Once this anomaly passes me on by with its spin or orbit, the beep goes softer and quieter until there is a moment or very few of silence. Then the whole damned process starts all faking over and then again and again.
Yes, by the way, I have become rather fond of this term anomaly that He-Who-Touched-My-Brain placed upon me a couple of years ago. Hell yeah, I took it as insult at first, I mean I was like, "What's this anomaly bull shit Doc.?". Yes, really. It feels more like a term of endearment today. So, I keep it. As far as the noise and sounds of the satellite in orbit, I will check to see if I might find something close to it on the You Tube to share.
Speaking of the You Tube, I feel as if I have created a kinship with this business. I am amazed at what this social media has done with our planet and am so pleased and am blessed to have found an avenue with which to share some of the sounds and noises that very often torment my very senses. For shits sake! Every-damned-day-damn-it!
There is somethings that trouble me though. Something about my finding a source with which to share the crazy making sounds and noises I live with every day. I am afraid that not too many of my Kinfolk even give a damn about them. No, this isn't some figment of my imagination or some sad words of a lonely fellow. There are reasons I make this assertion. For me and the all of me, this type of silence is not new. This distance between kinfolk and I, is not some new God Dammed punishment handed out by my Kinfolk. I have been good for something motherfuckers and it pleases the fuck out of me that I have survived and have thrived without you and your ignoramus asses before. Your very temporary reintroduction in my life over the years of tears were all a show by you and your two facedness. You and them in your circles. You and them who are the self-proclaimed judges. Fuck off. Just please, kindly fuck off.
Oh yes, I have done good. Have done good and have done so for so many an awesome people and population. Time and time again, time after time and you all weren't there then - why had I held on, I don not know. Why lie? Why not just come to me and say why? I was brought up knowing and believing in the rule that blood is thicker than water. I have fought physical and mental wars believing in this. Here I am today, knowing better.
My heart has always been my Achilles. I love my Kinfolk and the Kindred One's in my life with such a force I am not worthy to share what it is that glows within my being.
I learned to make amends in my journey. "Give me the Courage", I've said thousands of times.
I've got to move on you all. It is time. This luggage is heavy and I have a recovery and life in progress. You've got alot to learn if you think you really know me and as of this moment, bye.
I would love to say I am feeling better after this past twenty four hour sleep, but I am not afforded the luxury of making such a comment. Since waking up forty five minutes ago I have had this magical satellite circling my world's outer most gravity. A beeping that is not a beep and it isn't a steady non-beep - it seems to go round and around inside me brains and creates a distraction that is just about all there is to hear and or listen to or hear in this once hearing left ear. I have no say so in the matter and remember having shared this particular anomaly before. As it always is when the Meniere's is active, I become not-so-active. Meniere's has me by the gonads today.
Oh yes, back to the satellite. This sound reminds me of the sounds that would accompany videos on this technology. For Pete's sake the makers of many films about outer space have created similar beeping sounds for motion pictures. Like this; as if in orbit - this sound prepares to pass on by with a distant beep and as it approaches the beep becomes louder then closer and louder. Once this anomaly passes me on by with its spin or orbit, the beep goes softer and quieter until there is a moment or very few of silence. Then the whole damned process starts all faking over and then again and again.
Yes, by the way, I have become rather fond of this term anomaly that He-Who-Touched-My-Brain placed upon me a couple of years ago. Hell yeah, I took it as insult at first, I mean I was like, "What's this anomaly bull shit Doc.?". Yes, really. It feels more like a term of endearment today. So, I keep it. As far as the noise and sounds of the satellite in orbit, I will check to see if I might find something close to it on the You Tube to share.
Speaking of the You Tube, I feel as if I have created a kinship with this business. I am amazed at what this social media has done with our planet and am so pleased and am blessed to have found an avenue with which to share some of the sounds and noises that very often torment my very senses. For shits sake! Every-damned-day-damn-it!
There is somethings that trouble me though. Something about my finding a source with which to share the crazy making sounds and noises I live with every day. I am afraid that not too many of my Kinfolk even give a damn about them. No, this isn't some figment of my imagination or some sad words of a lonely fellow. There are reasons I make this assertion. For me and the all of me, this type of silence is not new. This distance between kinfolk and I, is not some new God Dammed punishment handed out by my Kinfolk. I have been good for something motherfuckers and it pleases the fuck out of me that I have survived and have thrived without you and your ignoramus asses before. Your very temporary reintroduction in my life over the years of tears were all a show by you and your two facedness. You and them in your circles. You and them who are the self-proclaimed judges. Fuck off. Just please, kindly fuck off.
Oh yes, I have done good. Have done good and have done so for so many an awesome people and population. Time and time again, time after time and you all weren't there then - why had I held on, I don not know. Why lie? Why not just come to me and say why? I was brought up knowing and believing in the rule that blood is thicker than water. I have fought physical and mental wars believing in this. Here I am today, knowing better.
My heart has always been my Achilles. I love my Kinfolk and the Kindred One's in my life with such a force I am not worthy to share what it is that glows within my being.
I learned to make amends in my journey. "Give me the Courage", I've said thousands of times.
I've got to move on you all. It is time. This luggage is heavy and I have a recovery and life in progress. You've got alot to learn if you think you really know me and as of this moment, bye.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Is Meniere's A Psychosis?
Relations,
Peace. Welcome.
As I do every once and again, okay wait, regularly, I'll take a look at stats and study - day to day, day-to-week, week-to-month etc. I also enjoy looking over the Referring URLs, Referring Sites and Key Words used to get to My Path. I am constantly surprised and amazed at how many Kindred Spirit's locate this blog and then share with many others. One of my greatest joy's in my present life is knowing that I may have made an impact somewhere with someone. Even if just one. And then there are Kindred who live far and far away. Yes, our Paths do cross here as we do with other people in life. Within the confines of my safe and peaceful environment, here is where I sit and or lay. I am often compelled to share so that others may learn from one living what is an invisible disease. I am humbled. So humbled and so blessed to see that there are so many of us out here. Hearing words in the mind as we read them over.
I have assembled a team that I consider the "Dream Team", when it comes to having a team that covers all the bases - this is "The One". Sometime soon, I think I'll create a report for the blog to share more about how my Better State of Health, Mind, Body, Spirit's and Financial Affairs Team and I do over the next few weeks. I do have with no doubt, one of the best teams any person could ever ask for when it comes to receiving the absolute best Health Care out there. From my primary physician and her wonderful staff. To my surgeon, who is my Meniere's Disease Doctor, He-Who-Touch-My-Brain and my legendary team there at Team Tampa Bay Hearing And Balance Center. Yes! This is the place where it is I receive the Best Treatment in the World for what has gone on and what is going on in my ears and skull. I love so many people here and I feel their love for me too. It really is like we are all a very tight close family and team that surrounds the patient, in this case me, with an abundance of love, respect and integrity...
...for me these three indicators are how I operate: I will operate my business with an abundance of love and peace for fellow Earth Mates crossing paths with me on any given day. I do this EVERY TIME we step out to the supermarket where shopping is a pleasure and have Women coming up to me with the hugs and kisses and the yackity-yack-yacks. Women employees and customers too. And alright then, there are a very few friends who are Men and we greet each other the same way. For me it's no problem to share. with my eyes and in my Spirit's I see there is not enough love going around. We have folks dieing of relationship starvation out here you all. And no, dammit it's not out there it's out here. Here where I live - there where you live.
You see, I love seeing the eyes of someone who just needed that word peace spoken aloud or a peaceful and genuine "are you okay, my dear?".
Sir Dude, my therapist is on board to assist and aid me in getting to that place I want to be. He is very well known and is a trusted member of the community. In his field and in the Marathon Circuits. The betterment of my mind will be strongly influenced by what it is Sir Dude teaches. His guidance has been a good and right guidance and I am pleased with this.
God, my Great Spirit, has blessed me with a motivation that dumbfounds Folks. Sometimes, I can't imagine why my desire to be a healthier and wiser one is so odd to some. The Great One God has my back and those of the Spirit's who dwell within and around me. I've got a life to live. This right here is the department Miss. K. and I will be working with at the Vocational Rehab. This and or that opportunity a friend of mine spoke to me about not too long ago.
Kindred, you see, I respect each and every doctor, nurse, and doctor assistant, book keeper, therapist as I respect the Security Guard standing Her post, respect the Big and Happy Lady at the Hospital Cafe register and the young dude's wax and buff up and down the hospital ways and bi-ways - ALL the same. There's no need to impress me and I'm surely not out to impress. Respect is respect is respect, no matter what part of Earth Mother we come from. Seen.
The integrity comes after many years and decades worth of practice, education, reading, and an understanding of one thing, we are all human. And with that said, I say this, I treat even them who are down trodden with respect and dignity. To connect with them, with the understanding that I will respect my Kindred and share dignity with love and peace are a part of me and come along with me always. Quite like a Combo Meal.
As long as there is no one playing with matches, no body gets burned. Seen. I'm okay - you too. If one plays with matches around me, I go play elsewhere. No, not judged - simply the safety piece. I don't have time for lies and two facedness. I go this way and the drama folk that way. Life. Too many people play simple emotion games with me and instead of letting go, some insist on keeping up their talk about what has become nothing now. Some topics have taken me life times to get to where I am today. I see why, so it is my responsibility to pass along what has been blessed on to me...
...to live life with an abundance of love, respect and integrity. It works if you work it.
P.S. By the way, no, Meniere's Disease is not a psychosis. I have at sometime or some point or another contemplated the psychosis's that accompany this dreadful disease that takes away one's hearing and balance and provokes violent attacks of Meniere's Vertigo, the nausea, the vomiting, the sweats, the fucking dizziness that never goes away. The surgeries and the recoveries after every damned surgery. Sleeping for days at a time or like tonight - sitting here talking while the noises in my ears bring about maddening scenarios and such may lead to psychosis. But to answer a couple of questions; no, Meniere's Disease is not a psychosis.
Peace. Welcome.
As I do every once and again, okay wait, regularly, I'll take a look at stats and study - day to day, day-to-week, week-to-month etc. I also enjoy looking over the Referring URLs, Referring Sites and Key Words used to get to My Path. I am constantly surprised and amazed at how many Kindred Spirit's locate this blog and then share with many others. One of my greatest joy's in my present life is knowing that I may have made an impact somewhere with someone. Even if just one. And then there are Kindred who live far and far away. Yes, our Paths do cross here as we do with other people in life. Within the confines of my safe and peaceful environment, here is where I sit and or lay. I am often compelled to share so that others may learn from one living what is an invisible disease. I am humbled. So humbled and so blessed to see that there are so many of us out here. Hearing words in the mind as we read them over.
I have assembled a team that I consider the "Dream Team", when it comes to having a team that covers all the bases - this is "The One". Sometime soon, I think I'll create a report for the blog to share more about how my Better State of Health, Mind, Body, Spirit's and Financial Affairs Team and I do over the next few weeks. I do have with no doubt, one of the best teams any person could ever ask for when it comes to receiving the absolute best Health Care out there. From my primary physician and her wonderful staff. To my surgeon, who is my Meniere's Disease Doctor, He-Who-Touch-My-Brain and my legendary team there at Team Tampa Bay Hearing And Balance Center. Yes! This is the place where it is I receive the Best Treatment in the World for what has gone on and what is going on in my ears and skull. I love so many people here and I feel their love for me too. It really is like we are all a very tight close family and team that surrounds the patient, in this case me, with an abundance of love, respect and integrity...
...for me these three indicators are how I operate: I will operate my business with an abundance of love and peace for fellow Earth Mates crossing paths with me on any given day. I do this EVERY TIME we step out to the supermarket where shopping is a pleasure and have Women coming up to me with the hugs and kisses and the yackity-yack-yacks. Women employees and customers too. And alright then, there are a very few friends who are Men and we greet each other the same way. For me it's no problem to share. with my eyes and in my Spirit's I see there is not enough love going around. We have folks dieing of relationship starvation out here you all. And no, dammit it's not out there it's out here. Here where I live - there where you live.
You see, I love seeing the eyes of someone who just needed that word peace spoken aloud or a peaceful and genuine "are you okay, my dear?".
Sir Dude, my therapist is on board to assist and aid me in getting to that place I want to be. He is very well known and is a trusted member of the community. In his field and in the Marathon Circuits. The betterment of my mind will be strongly influenced by what it is Sir Dude teaches. His guidance has been a good and right guidance and I am pleased with this.
God, my Great Spirit, has blessed me with a motivation that dumbfounds Folks. Sometimes, I can't imagine why my desire to be a healthier and wiser one is so odd to some. The Great One God has my back and those of the Spirit's who dwell within and around me. I've got a life to live. This right here is the department Miss. K. and I will be working with at the Vocational Rehab. This and or that opportunity a friend of mine spoke to me about not too long ago.
Kindred, you see, I respect each and every doctor, nurse, and doctor assistant, book keeper, therapist as I respect the Security Guard standing Her post, respect the Big and Happy Lady at the Hospital Cafe register and the young dude's wax and buff up and down the hospital ways and bi-ways - ALL the same. There's no need to impress me and I'm surely not out to impress. Respect is respect is respect, no matter what part of Earth Mother we come from. Seen.
The integrity comes after many years and decades worth of practice, education, reading, and an understanding of one thing, we are all human. And with that said, I say this, I treat even them who are down trodden with respect and dignity. To connect with them, with the understanding that I will respect my Kindred and share dignity with love and peace are a part of me and come along with me always. Quite like a Combo Meal.
As long as there is no one playing with matches, no body gets burned. Seen. I'm okay - you too. If one plays with matches around me, I go play elsewhere. No, not judged - simply the safety piece. I don't have time for lies and two facedness. I go this way and the drama folk that way. Life. Too many people play simple emotion games with me and instead of letting go, some insist on keeping up their talk about what has become nothing now. Some topics have taken me life times to get to where I am today. I see why, so it is my responsibility to pass along what has been blessed on to me...
...to live life with an abundance of love, respect and integrity. It works if you work it.
P.S. By the way, no, Meniere's Disease is not a psychosis. I have at sometime or some point or another contemplated the psychosis's that accompany this dreadful disease that takes away one's hearing and balance and provokes violent attacks of Meniere's Vertigo, the nausea, the vomiting, the sweats, the fucking dizziness that never goes away. The surgeries and the recoveries after every damned surgery. Sleeping for days at a time or like tonight - sitting here talking while the noises in my ears bring about maddening scenarios and such may lead to psychosis. But to answer a couple of questions; no, Meniere's Disease is not a psychosis.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Orchestra of Frogs and Nature Sounds - with a Relaxing Stream - A Meniere's Sound Symptom
Kindred,
Over the years when in sharing, talking, writing and expressing how it is I hear the sounds of frogs, crickets and cicadas; this one brief-to-me video SUMS UP WHAT IT IS I HEAR! What it is I have listened to time after time and time again.
MY GOOD GOD!
As one who lives with Meniere's Disease and its many many symptoms, this one sound symptom right here is one of the most aggravating and troublesome! My God. My dear Guest, take thirty seconds of this with a raised volume and that is all it will take for it to become problematic...
....imagine this OUT LOUD and for HOURS and HOURS at a time. It is incomprehensible. But, it is a piece of me. This anomaly is alive and driving my lives mad. I am the anomaly, en'I?
NOTE: This video is not owned by me. I borrow it solely with the purpose of sharing what Meniere's Disease Sound Symptoms - sound like. Sounds like. Lives like. Like?
Monday, January 21, 2013
The Meniere's Symptom's I Experience Right Now!
Kin,
This is the Meniere's and the Meniere's Disease symptoms I am having and experiencing at this very moment and have been going through these same for some few hours.
The beep-beep-beepity-beep-beep-beep and on and on! My God, the beeping has failed to cease! So loud and so distracting that I find I must find something to do to distract myself. I try!
Dizzy and dizziness is alive. As in a post County Fair Ride, The Twirl and Swirl.
Nausea and vomit the flavor of dinner brought up into my mouth. The acid on my teeth.
I am misting around my upper scalp; like a base ball cap rests atop it.
There are pains deep inside my left ear. When I say deep, I mean I can not get satisfaction with my fingers, massaging tools or compounds. If I could only squeeze my finger into my ear!
I share that there has been several cluster pain attacks at the top left corner of my bobble head. The worms and spiders play and reproduce in the space between my scalp and my skull. I sit here and observe the goings on and wonder how long will this be going on?
I am embarrassed by the awkwardness I have experienced today. There are times when I really do feel like a gimp. So Gimpy. Be tripping over my own two feet and the extra four too. Trip over nothing sometimes. BOOM! Just fall. Scary as all hell too.
My right good-ear-hole-to-the-brain continues with the loud and never ending cicadas. I mean? Speaking of the right ear, it never really woke up 100% today. As if running at 75% and blinking on and off. Off and on.
My body aches and is sore, almost exhausted but I am not sleepy. And damn it - it's 0202.
Beep-beep-beep-beep-beepity-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep. Beep-beep-beep-beep. Beep. Beeeeeeeeeep. Beep.
I am going to work on not calling myself bad, foul or negative names anymore. I promise myself.
I have nothing else to say. Peace.
This is the Meniere's and the Meniere's Disease symptoms I am having and experiencing at this very moment and have been going through these same for some few hours.
The beep-beep-beepity-beep-beep-beep and on and on! My God, the beeping has failed to cease! So loud and so distracting that I find I must find something to do to distract myself. I try!
Dizzy and dizziness is alive. As in a post County Fair Ride, The Twirl and Swirl.
Nausea and vomit the flavor of dinner brought up into my mouth. The acid on my teeth.
I am misting around my upper scalp; like a base ball cap rests atop it.
There are pains deep inside my left ear. When I say deep, I mean I can not get satisfaction with my fingers, massaging tools or compounds. If I could only squeeze my finger into my ear!
I share that there has been several cluster pain attacks at the top left corner of my bobble head. The worms and spiders play and reproduce in the space between my scalp and my skull. I sit here and observe the goings on and wonder how long will this be going on?
I am embarrassed by the awkwardness I have experienced today. There are times when I really do feel like a gimp. So Gimpy. Be tripping over my own two feet and the extra four too. Trip over nothing sometimes. BOOM! Just fall. Scary as all hell too.
My right good-ear-hole-to-the-brain continues with the loud and never ending cicadas. I mean? Speaking of the right ear, it never really woke up 100% today. As if running at 75% and blinking on and off. Off and on.
My body aches and is sore, almost exhausted but I am not sleepy. And damn it - it's 0202.
Beep-beep-beep-beep-beepity-beep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeeeep. Beep-beep-beep-beep. Beep. Beeeeeeeeeep. Beep.
I am going to work on not calling myself bad, foul or negative names anymore. I promise myself.
I have nothing else to say. Peace.
Meniere's, My Safe Place and Memories From A Previous Life Time
My safe place, here where I sit smells like the inside of a tee-pee. There is something so Earthy and smells like the smoke from a place where many fires have been burnt. The furs hanging and used. I appreciate this very much, this scent that takes me back on a memory bliss. From gatherings of many Nations, to my time in the US Army with my own tee pee or two. Ah, what nice memory's. I have had this scent in Dream World too. Yes. Imagine the scent of one tee pee with several Kin, three hounds, an Owl and all of my pony's right out side of my tent. Remember when there were dozens and hundreds and thousands of tee pees? With their Men, Women and children. The Elders. All of their hounds and horses by the thousands and thousands that sounded like rolling thunder when set into a controlled chaos of a stampede to greener pastures. The camp would be struck with all tee pees and all of our blankets and furs and our tools would be packed up and on the Path in an hour or two. In Dream World, I remember I have been here and remember these things by sight, sound and smell. As I do in my awake world.
Here in my safe place both ears create havoc with contrasting and very loud noises and sounds. Meniere's Disease, stomps ass as my Deaf left ear has had a steady beep and beeping that has gone on for an hour and one half. My right ear and I are listening to a loud and steady hiss. As if escaping air from a punctured wheel. Maybe a very, very long winded snake of some species that would hiss so long and loudly. I might try to find the effect for "Share and Listen To It". There was a noise earlier that was so vivid and so damned loud I just had to ask my Good Right Dear, if she was listening to what I was hearing. She didn't hear anything so I figured I would move along.
Nausea has been resting at the spot where my neck and throat meet. Seems to have gotten stuck and has lingered for four or so hours. A hair ball? I have sweat off and on all day today. Even under cool weather conditions, I was forced to wear two bandannas - one around my neck and the other around my head. It was a two t-shirt afternoon too. The dizziness made simple tasks difficult and dangerous, so I found it best to walk on purpose. My step's and balance off by this side of a bit more than wee. Seen?
My right good-bad-ear is listening to loud and rambunctious cicadas. Very damned loud! Shit! Laying down is very uncomfortable. So are these damned sounds! I say no more.
Here in my safe place both ears create havoc with contrasting and very loud noises and sounds. Meniere's Disease, stomps ass as my Deaf left ear has had a steady beep and beeping that has gone on for an hour and one half. My right ear and I are listening to a loud and steady hiss. As if escaping air from a punctured wheel. Maybe a very, very long winded snake of some species that would hiss so long and loudly. I might try to find the effect for "Share and Listen To It". There was a noise earlier that was so vivid and so damned loud I just had to ask my Good Right Dear, if she was listening to what I was hearing. She didn't hear anything so I figured I would move along.
Nausea has been resting at the spot where my neck and throat meet. Seems to have gotten stuck and has lingered for four or so hours. A hair ball? I have sweat off and on all day today. Even under cool weather conditions, I was forced to wear two bandannas - one around my neck and the other around my head. It was a two t-shirt afternoon too. The dizziness made simple tasks difficult and dangerous, so I found it best to walk on purpose. My step's and balance off by this side of a bit more than wee. Seen?
My right good-bad-ear is listening to loud and rambunctious cicadas. Very damned loud! Shit! Laying down is very uncomfortable. So are these damned sounds! I say no more.
Leather and Lace, Part II
I can taste the salty - sweet
flavour of my own blood.
From where I bit down.
So hard. Nobody could hear me scream.
I carry too - the flavour called you.
The delicious sweat that is you.
You wonderful, delightful wild you.
I silently scream - is this a dream?
Is this just a damned dream I scream!
Is it me or am I just a too attached
- too hooked to the things you do.
The things you do with that leather
without leaving any cuts on my back...
...it drives me crazy, it drives me mad
the things you can do with a feather.
My lace is stained my blood red -
as is the silk linen on my bed. It goes
well with the red wax from
the candle you so slowly dripped on my back.
I silently scream - is this a dream?
Is this just a damned dream, I scream!
I can taste the salty - sweet
flavour of my own blood.
From where I bit down.
So hard. No body would hear me scream.
flavour of my own blood.
From where I bit down.
So hard. Nobody could hear me scream.
I carry too - the flavour called you.
The delicious sweat that is you.
You wonderful, delightful wild you.
I silently scream - is this a dream?
Is this just a damned dream I scream!
Is it me or am I just a too attached
- too hooked to the things you do.
The things you do with that leather
without leaving any cuts on my back...
...it drives me crazy, it drives me mad
the things you can do with a feather.
My lace is stained my blood red -
as is the silk linen on my bed. It goes
well with the red wax from
the candle you so slowly dripped on my back.
I silently scream - is this a dream?
Is this just a damned dream, I scream!
I can taste the salty - sweet
flavour of my own blood.
From where I bit down.
So hard. No body would hear me scream.
Strong Wind Sound Effect For Free, A Meniere's Sound Symptom
Relations,
This is one of the one's that really work the nerves bad and can be so damned obnoxiously loud.
Sometimes, it sounds like wind off in the distance. Then there are the times when it is like this recording. Loud and right at me ear - as if there is someone blowing at my ear and my ear-hole-to -the-brain. Long, loud and clear. A Sound Symptom of Meniere's.
Please, take a moment or two to catch a sound that I hear very often. In an ear that is deaf.
It is as if there is sound and noise coming from within to move out of my ears and skull.
I do not own this video. I borrow for a bit of "Hear And Tell". That's all I have to say.
The Bed Side Table And Stuff
Relations,
Good Afternoon, my Guests. I wanted to share that I have completed the latest and so awesome book written by Mr. Sherman Alexie. The book is titled "BLASPHEMY", and I enjoyed every damned word I read. Mr. Alexie tends to have this affect on me. I will often times get wrapped up in his story telling and fall in love with the characters he shares with the world. I get swept up with an increase in pulse and breathe by his words zooming through my senses. And laugh out loud when he throws his often just-in-the-nick-of-time funny story or line. I am most touched when Mr. Alexie, shares or says things that remind me of home and my Kin. What can I say? I reckon, Sherman and I are in the same ball park age wise, so I look forward to growing older with the brother. I love him.
I have decided to read and enjoy two books for a few days. The first book is, "Zen In The Art Of Archery", written by Eugen Herrigel. This is a re-read as I have enjoyed this very book too many times to remember since I purchased it thirty-some years ago. The pages have turned a slight brownish yellow along the corners and the book has given way to the smell of an old book. I do not mind at all really. I have always enjoyed the smell of an ole book since a wee one anyway.
The second book is "BEGIN IT NOW", written by Ms. Susan Hayward. Another re-read yes, but also very much like a refreshing of bits and pieces of my brains and mind. These wonderful words that Ms. Hayward reminds us of and shares them with me so beautifully.
My journal sits there and waits for me to press ink to it's pages. Instead, I have been putting stickers and just maybe an utterance every once and again. It's odd how I miss my journals and also miss jotting stuff in them. With My Path becoming an urgent and important purposeful walk in life, I begin to feel more and more at ease with journaling here. No, I am not throwing in the towel and oui, as these thoughts process through the brains I think I'll just jot down a bit later this evening. Yes, I like that idea. My stationary is here too. My Woody doll, crystals, pictures of my family and pictures of Jesus. Thank You Jesus. Thank You Lord. Thank You Mary, Mother Of God. Thank You to The Holy Spirit, who travels life with me. And in me. Truth. Amen.
Good Afternoon, my Guests. I wanted to share that I have completed the latest and so awesome book written by Mr. Sherman Alexie. The book is titled "BLASPHEMY", and I enjoyed every damned word I read. Mr. Alexie tends to have this affect on me. I will often times get wrapped up in his story telling and fall in love with the characters he shares with the world. I get swept up with an increase in pulse and breathe by his words zooming through my senses. And laugh out loud when he throws his often just-in-the-nick-of-time funny story or line. I am most touched when Mr. Alexie, shares or says things that remind me of home and my Kin. What can I say? I reckon, Sherman and I are in the same ball park age wise, so I look forward to growing older with the brother. I love him.
I have decided to read and enjoy two books for a few days. The first book is, "Zen In The Art Of Archery", written by Eugen Herrigel. This is a re-read as I have enjoyed this very book too many times to remember since I purchased it thirty-some years ago. The pages have turned a slight brownish yellow along the corners and the book has given way to the smell of an old book. I do not mind at all really. I have always enjoyed the smell of an ole book since a wee one anyway.
The second book is "BEGIN IT NOW", written by Ms. Susan Hayward. Another re-read yes, but also very much like a refreshing of bits and pieces of my brains and mind. These wonderful words that Ms. Hayward reminds us of and shares them with me so beautifully.
My journal sits there and waits for me to press ink to it's pages. Instead, I have been putting stickers and just maybe an utterance every once and again. It's odd how I miss my journals and also miss jotting stuff in them. With My Path becoming an urgent and important purposeful walk in life, I begin to feel more and more at ease with journaling here. No, I am not throwing in the towel and oui, as these thoughts process through the brains I think I'll just jot down a bit later this evening. Yes, I like that idea. My stationary is here too. My Woody doll, crystals, pictures of my family and pictures of Jesus. Thank You Jesus. Thank You Lord. Thank You Mary, Mother Of God. Thank You to The Holy Spirit, who travels life with me. And in me. Truth. Amen.
Leather and Lace, Part I
Leather with texture
and Lace, no matter the colour.
Candles burn with the scents of
pine and the great out doors.
My breathe short and out of order...
...as I breath in your scent,
your breath and fall in
love with your odor.
and Lace, no matter the colour.
Candles burn with the scents of
pine and the great out doors.
My breathe short and out of order...
...as I breath in your scent,
your breath and fall in
love with your odor.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
+ 18,000 Guest's! Thank You!
Dearest Kind One's,
Sometime earlier today, this simple blog created by a simple fellow, exceeded +18.000 Guest's, Visitor's and Reader's.
I am Blessed and share great gratitude for what has been taking place since day one of this Blog. I thank my friend and his wife for pointing me in this direction. There has been an education involved with the all of this and I sure am thankful for that. For me the education piece is also witnessing just how many Kindred, stop by for a read. The numbers and the stats and chats pressed with starch. I am still in total amazement and am touched deeply by what I see and read. Oh my, there are so many out here on Earth Mother, who wish to read and see that they are not solitude standing. There are so many of us Kind One's! I mean the true numbers of Folks with this type of Meniere's Disease could be horrendous. I think about my Brothers and Sisters in other countries that would not have access to the technology's of Cochlear Implants. Yet.
With the articles I have read by many doctors, more and more people with the invisible diseases like Meniere's Disease at it's worst realize just how disabling this disease is. Using me as an example: I am SSD, Single Side Deaf on the left, I have one BAHA, Bone Anchored Hearing Aid with abutment and implant on left rear skull. I have no balance on the left side. My right ear has moderate hearing loss and is very problematic. At any given instant there are loud sounds and noises coming from between my ears. I have also had my hearing right ear go totally silent and this has been going on so long my medical records have had this documented quite sometime. Oh yes, I did note there was a buzz over at He-Who-Touched-My-Brain's clinic. All abuzz about the latest symptoms with the visual issues.
Dear Kind One's, again, I humble myself before you. I thank you from my heart and Spirit's to your heart and Spirit's for our visits. Thank you Great Spirit for having our Paths Cross.
+18,000 Guests, Visitor's and Readers.
Sometime earlier today, this simple blog created by a simple fellow, exceeded +18.000 Guest's, Visitor's and Reader's.
I am Blessed and share great gratitude for what has been taking place since day one of this Blog. I thank my friend and his wife for pointing me in this direction. There has been an education involved with the all of this and I sure am thankful for that. For me the education piece is also witnessing just how many Kindred, stop by for a read. The numbers and the stats and chats pressed with starch. I am still in total amazement and am touched deeply by what I see and read. Oh my, there are so many out here on Earth Mother, who wish to read and see that they are not solitude standing. There are so many of us Kind One's! I mean the true numbers of Folks with this type of Meniere's Disease could be horrendous. I think about my Brothers and Sisters in other countries that would not have access to the technology's of Cochlear Implants. Yet.
With the articles I have read by many doctors, more and more people with the invisible diseases like Meniere's Disease at it's worst realize just how disabling this disease is. Using me as an example: I am SSD, Single Side Deaf on the left, I have one BAHA, Bone Anchored Hearing Aid with abutment and implant on left rear skull. I have no balance on the left side. My right ear has moderate hearing loss and is very problematic. At any given instant there are loud sounds and noises coming from between my ears. I have also had my hearing right ear go totally silent and this has been going on so long my medical records have had this documented quite sometime. Oh yes, I did note there was a buzz over at He-Who-Touched-My-Brain's clinic. All abuzz about the latest symptoms with the visual issues.
Dear Kind One's, again, I humble myself before you. I thank you from my heart and Spirit's to your heart and Spirit's for our visits. Thank you Great Spirit for having our Paths Cross.
+18,000 Guests, Visitor's and Readers.
These Are The Materials My Path Is Made Of, Part I
Relations,
These are the materials my Path is made of. The bits, chunks, pieces, parts, patches and places that my Path has so blessedly been made of. Like the quilts made by them who came before me - my quilts are the love that I love to love to create love - and share love - even if it is but for a crossing of Paths. Or to create a brief moment of joy in a persons heart is the sinew I use to create dream catchers with. By the way it looks from this seat here, this shall be so for the remainder of my life and Path be made of red colored cement and yellow bricks.
Memories that become the fabric of what my life has been made of and worth living for. Oh, Life.
My greatest-best-good-friend and dearest wife. And our wonderful story's. Our history. Our dearest daughters. My Mom, Dad, Grand parents - Grandpa's and Abuelo's, our Grandma's and Abuela's, my brothers and my sisters - three of our nine done gone to Jesus. All and every one of my aunts and uncles, their way's of teaching. My cousins galore. My Blessed In-Law's, yes.
All of my Kinfolk from tree to tree and branch to branch. Such a rich history. Stories abundant with the rich and their greed and our poor. Those near and them afar. Them who were good and them who perpetrated evil. All past, present and future Kin have had influence on me. My Way's.
Friends who have been an integral part of my life and Path. Them who were once so dear and important have remained so. I have enjoyed their company and I carry them in my thoughts and prayers. My classmates, from elementary, junior high and high school - several who are still dear friends of mine. Friends and my God, so many friends from the "blocks" we lived on. Them who fought side by my side when we had to take our stand for equal rights - for respect. When friends travel life following this type of Path, something happens between the parties involved. It is as if Great Spirit has family and friends for us in the North, East, South and West. Amen.
My fellow G.I.'s and troops during our times in the U.S. Army. So many ready to die and or give limb for. There was a handsome many I would've taken a bullet for. There was that bunch of fellow Humans there with me in the late 1970's, that whooped it up some and had one and an others back like stank on shit. Yes, it's true. It was living the life.
Yes, even them in the outer branches. my thousands and thousand's of associates, the many neighbors, peers and them who worked jobs along side of me. As we laughed, cried, and lived our lives - sometimes privately, sometimes no. Kindred have been abound plentiful. I am Blessed. Yes.
As of earlier today, this humble and simple blog has surpassed 18,200 guests. My Brothers and Sisters, My Cousins, My Dear Guests, you are always welcomed here and know dear Kind One's, I am touched by each and every guest who stops by for a spell. To catch up on the latest.
The Doctor''s that have been with me on this journey. The Audiologist. The Nurses, respiratory therapist's, the physical therapist's. The Physician Assistants. Dozens and dozens of clerks and aids. Book Keepers. Even the Bill Collector's. The surgeons. Radiologist.
The Folks who have entertained me with their music. Folks who shared their music with me. The World for having so much music, I don't know if I'll ever be able to listen to it all. This has not been some Quest of mine, I have have since childhood been wide open to the music of other cultures. Cool. Yes. The Folks who wrote, produced and preformed the music and the lyrics and tickled my innards or them who took me some place else or them that I cried with. My angry songs. I love them all.
Articles of clothing. Yes. Whether it be a special wind breaker or pair of sneakers or those special pair of Levi 501's that I adore. Sweaters that remind me of ex-lovers. Garments of clothing that represent very set times and places in my steps. My special blankets. My socks folded Army style. The way I was trained while in Basic Training. Jim? Do you still fold your socks like that?
Liz, do you? Oh please, Brenda's nerves! Ha!
My too many fellow Survivors Of Incest. Fellow Survivors of Sexual Abuse. Those very special Angels who shared their stories with my ears and mind and heart. My fellow Survivor's who succumbed to the weight and tortures of the Incest and Rape. Twenty year old beautiful Women don't just up and die from the asthma - it's the weight of having that shit on her young shoulders for so many of her young years. Young boys and girls don't naturally give our body's away and place our body's in harms way for the fun of it. Maybe for the fuck of it, but no, not the fun of being passed about like a toy. It is degrading to the point of total humiliation. For many, their lives have run their course and it wasn't healthy to be here anymore. My dearest fellow survivor's, I silently scream my love and solidarity with each and every of you.
Even those who have been my enemy know that I was cunningly polite and courteous. Yes, there may have been a couple of bouts with total good versus very evil. Evil does not win near as much as folks think. I know that - I am hre to tell you differently.
These are the materials my Path is made of. The bits, chunks, pieces, parts, patches and places that my Path has so blessedly been made of. Like the quilts made by them who came before me - my quilts are the love that I love to love to create love - and share love - even if it is but for a crossing of Paths. Or to create a brief moment of joy in a persons heart is the sinew I use to create dream catchers with. By the way it looks from this seat here, this shall be so for the remainder of my life and Path be made of red colored cement and yellow bricks.
Memories that become the fabric of what my life has been made of and worth living for. Oh, Life.
My greatest-best-good-friend and dearest wife. And our wonderful story's. Our history. Our dearest daughters. My Mom, Dad, Grand parents - Grandpa's and Abuelo's, our Grandma's and Abuela's, my brothers and my sisters - three of our nine done gone to Jesus. All and every one of my aunts and uncles, their way's of teaching. My cousins galore. My Blessed In-Law's, yes.
All of my Kinfolk from tree to tree and branch to branch. Such a rich history. Stories abundant with the rich and their greed and our poor. Those near and them afar. Them who were good and them who perpetrated evil. All past, present and future Kin have had influence on me. My Way's.
Friends who have been an integral part of my life and Path. Them who were once so dear and important have remained so. I have enjoyed their company and I carry them in my thoughts and prayers. My classmates, from elementary, junior high and high school - several who are still dear friends of mine. Friends and my God, so many friends from the "blocks" we lived on. Them who fought side by my side when we had to take our stand for equal rights - for respect. When friends travel life following this type of Path, something happens between the parties involved. It is as if Great Spirit has family and friends for us in the North, East, South and West. Amen.
My fellow G.I.'s and troops during our times in the U.S. Army. So many ready to die and or give limb for. There was a handsome many I would've taken a bullet for. There was that bunch of fellow Humans there with me in the late 1970's, that whooped it up some and had one and an others back like stank on shit. Yes, it's true. It was living the life.
Yes, even them in the outer branches. my thousands and thousand's of associates, the many neighbors, peers and them who worked jobs along side of me. As we laughed, cried, and lived our lives - sometimes privately, sometimes no. Kindred have been abound plentiful. I am Blessed. Yes.
As of earlier today, this humble and simple blog has surpassed 18,200 guests. My Brothers and Sisters, My Cousins, My Dear Guests, you are always welcomed here and know dear Kind One's, I am touched by each and every guest who stops by for a spell. To catch up on the latest.
The Doctor''s that have been with me on this journey. The Audiologist. The Nurses, respiratory therapist's, the physical therapist's. The Physician Assistants. Dozens and dozens of clerks and aids. Book Keepers. Even the Bill Collector's. The surgeons. Radiologist.
The Folks who have entertained me with their music. Folks who shared their music with me. The World for having so much music, I don't know if I'll ever be able to listen to it all. This has not been some Quest of mine, I have have since childhood been wide open to the music of other cultures. Cool. Yes. The Folks who wrote, produced and preformed the music and the lyrics and tickled my innards or them who took me some place else or them that I cried with. My angry songs. I love them all.
Articles of clothing. Yes. Whether it be a special wind breaker or pair of sneakers or those special pair of Levi 501's that I adore. Sweaters that remind me of ex-lovers. Garments of clothing that represent very set times and places in my steps. My special blankets. My socks folded Army style. The way I was trained while in Basic Training. Jim? Do you still fold your socks like that?
Liz, do you? Oh please, Brenda's nerves! Ha!
My too many fellow Survivors Of Incest. Fellow Survivors of Sexual Abuse. Those very special Angels who shared their stories with my ears and mind and heart. My fellow Survivor's who succumbed to the weight and tortures of the Incest and Rape. Twenty year old beautiful Women don't just up and die from the asthma - it's the weight of having that shit on her young shoulders for so many of her young years. Young boys and girls don't naturally give our body's away and place our body's in harms way for the fun of it. Maybe for the fuck of it, but no, not the fun of being passed about like a toy. It is degrading to the point of total humiliation. For many, their lives have run their course and it wasn't healthy to be here anymore. My dearest fellow survivor's, I silently scream my love and solidarity with each and every of you.
Even those who have been my enemy know that I was cunningly polite and courteous. Yes, there may have been a couple of bouts with total good versus very evil. Evil does not win near as much as folks think. I know that - I am hre to tell you differently.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
ringing in ears | TINNITUS Can you hear that - A Sound Symptom Of Meniere's Disease
Kind One's.
This is an interesting brief introduction and connection with Folks. A direct point.
This is the ringing so many people I have read about and listened to explain they have.
Mine is from Meniere's Disease. Not from loud concerts. I never had any problem until Meniere's.
The Tinnitus that lives within me are a cruel and unusual bunch. And by the way, yes and hell yes, time and time again I still ask my Kin, "did you hear that?". For what has been years now, these sounds and noises linger for hours and sometimes days at a time - never gone. Always here within my ears.
NOTE: This is not my video. I do not own. I borrow only to share My Path. That's all
This Really Happened To Me On Saturday 12 Jan. 2013
Kind One's.
I have been hesitant to share something that happened this just past Saturday, 12 January 2013. I believe because I was embarrassed and have been ashamed to say anything more about it. There was a brief conversation had with Kinfolk about what happened and I figure there are some Folks here who are indifferent and do not feel what it was I felt. I reckon it was not them who were insulted so no sweat for them without disabilities. I know. I remember. I was like that once too.
What had happened took place at the McDonald's on Tampa Road just West of the county line. We had decided to picnic over at the Upper Tampa Bay Park and Preserve with my wife and daughter, my sister Lou Anna, my two beautiful nieces and nephew from South Florida, and my Baby Sis, her Old Goat and my two awesome nephews Bubba and Tong Tong. Instead of preparing such a large picnic we decided to swing by the McDonald's to grab our food and drinks.
As my wife and I concluded our purchase, I asked the Asst. Manager named Mr. D. H. about whether McDonald's hires people with Disabilities. Out of curiosity, I asked you see. His exact words to me were, "No, McDonald's does not hire the handicapped." I pursued the conversation and got the idea and the impression that I was being told that I would be pretty much in the way.
Not far from this conversation was a table with an Operations Manager gathered with new hires for a store opening up soon. Most of the McDonald employees were Hispanic, there was one white fellow. I informed the Operations Manager about the talk and then asked him whether McDonald's hires the Disabled. He said "yeah" and in a not so professional manner - all in one motion and breath, he slapped the poster behind him and asked that I apply via Internet.
That was it. No apologies. No talk. No amends. So now, I have decided to stand up for myself.
This particular McDonald's is owned my the Gasper's Company. I think I'll have a talk tomorrow.
I have been hesitant to share something that happened this just past Saturday, 12 January 2013. I believe because I was embarrassed and have been ashamed to say anything more about it. There was a brief conversation had with Kinfolk about what happened and I figure there are some Folks here who are indifferent and do not feel what it was I felt. I reckon it was not them who were insulted so no sweat for them without disabilities. I know. I remember. I was like that once too.
What had happened took place at the McDonald's on Tampa Road just West of the county line. We had decided to picnic over at the Upper Tampa Bay Park and Preserve with my wife and daughter, my sister Lou Anna, my two beautiful nieces and nephew from South Florida, and my Baby Sis, her Old Goat and my two awesome nephews Bubba and Tong Tong. Instead of preparing such a large picnic we decided to swing by the McDonald's to grab our food and drinks.
As my wife and I concluded our purchase, I asked the Asst. Manager named Mr. D. H. about whether McDonald's hires people with Disabilities. Out of curiosity, I asked you see. His exact words to me were, "No, McDonald's does not hire the handicapped." I pursued the conversation and got the idea and the impression that I was being told that I would be pretty much in the way.
Not far from this conversation was a table with an Operations Manager gathered with new hires for a store opening up soon. Most of the McDonald employees were Hispanic, there was one white fellow. I informed the Operations Manager about the talk and then asked him whether McDonald's hires the Disabled. He said "yeah" and in a not so professional manner - all in one motion and breath, he slapped the poster behind him and asked that I apply via Internet.
That was it. No apologies. No talk. No amends. So now, I have decided to stand up for myself.
This particular McDonald's is owned my the Gasper's Company. I think I'll have a talk tomorrow.
A Respite Post All Nighter, The +24 Hour No Sleep
Dearest Kinfolk and Kindred,
I am so happy to share that after a twenty four hour period of no sleep, I was able to nap earlier and latched onto a short power rest. Not the eight hours of sleep I was growing accustomed to, but there was something special about this short visit to Dream World. It seems that there was enough of something in here to have me wake and have a pep in my step...
...and an enough of whatever went on while asleep to have had my deaf left ear go very quiet for a couple of hours. There actually may have been a few minutes of total peace and quiet coming from with-in my ear that is out of sound. (OOS)
I hesitate to celebrate much because I do not wish to jinx myself. I do not want to be harassed today by the loud and obnoxious noises and sounds that torture and drive mad my emotions every damned single day of life. It is so routine that moments like this, when I've had respite from the sounds are rare and exceptional. At the moment there is sound coming from within my left ear, but it is as if turned way down on volume. Maybe a three or two even on a scale of one to ten.
Such a relief this is. This is where that jinx I mentioned comes into play. You see, I am in fact totally horrified of being stoned cold deaf. As in hearing nothing at all in my OOS ear. I have grown used to having the peculiar and absurd sounds and noises that dwell within...
...yes, yes, yes I know I have a multitude of issues with the audio hallucinations and have grown fond of being called an anomaly. It is just fucking impossible to determine what sounds and or noises decide to surface at any given moment. Then there is the sickening lack of volume control. (I just got a beep-beep in the left one) The sound symptoms of Meniere's Disease, has me by my man parts and there's not a damned thing we can do. Nothing. Not-a-thing.
Except listen to He-Who-Touched-My-Brain say that we're at maximum capacity. Nothing to do.
I am so happy to share that after a twenty four hour period of no sleep, I was able to nap earlier and latched onto a short power rest. Not the eight hours of sleep I was growing accustomed to, but there was something special about this short visit to Dream World. It seems that there was enough of something in here to have me wake and have a pep in my step...
...and an enough of whatever went on while asleep to have had my deaf left ear go very quiet for a couple of hours. There actually may have been a few minutes of total peace and quiet coming from with-in my ear that is out of sound. (OOS)
I hesitate to celebrate much because I do not wish to jinx myself. I do not want to be harassed today by the loud and obnoxious noises and sounds that torture and drive mad my emotions every damned single day of life. It is so routine that moments like this, when I've had respite from the sounds are rare and exceptional. At the moment there is sound coming from within my left ear, but it is as if turned way down on volume. Maybe a three or two even on a scale of one to ten.
Such a relief this is. This is where that jinx I mentioned comes into play. You see, I am in fact totally horrified of being stoned cold deaf. As in hearing nothing at all in my OOS ear. I have grown used to having the peculiar and absurd sounds and noises that dwell within...
...yes, yes, yes I know I have a multitude of issues with the audio hallucinations and have grown fond of being called an anomaly. It is just fucking impossible to determine what sounds and or noises decide to surface at any given moment. Then there is the sickening lack of volume control. (I just got a beep-beep in the left one) The sound symptoms of Meniere's Disease, has me by my man parts and there's not a damned thing we can do. Nothing. Not-a-thing.
Except listen to He-Who-Touched-My-Brain say that we're at maximum capacity. Nothing to do.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Ya-Hey! A Feckin' Quick "Share and Tell It"! Hey-Ya!
Relations,
How about we have a chit-chat and I throw out a quick "Share and Tell It"!...
...I'm in the mood and have just thought about maybe coming up with a topic of some sort. Let me see how this rolls...
...I am not sure from where I'll begin, so I think I'll just shoot from the hips - as usual - and see where this party takes us on the connection scale. Enough said, here I go!!
1. I was at one time a Super Freak.
2. Correct. Not the sort you took home to mama.
3. But my Shero did and here we are now.
4. Today marks our 38th Year Anniversary together!
5. Oh, how crazy in love I have always been with her.
6. I am but fifty two. Ya know?
7. These numbers represent and reflect damned near three quarters of life.
8. My life and My Path was started the day my eyes laid eyes on her.
9. So beautiful! So gorgeous! So sweet and innocent and oh, so in love.
10. With me.
11. Here we are all of these later. 16 February will mark our 33rd year of marriage.
12. Dammit! Our children are grown ass children today. My Baby's Two.
13. One who lives in a land far and far away. So far a pass port is necessary.
14. And one who lives across county. For one who does not drive - that is a land far away.
15. Boom! I just realized that I am still a Super Freak!
16. I am okay with this insight. I've always been a Super Freak.
17. What the Feck? I'm cool like that.
18. I enjoy taking showers. I really, really do.
19. Sometimes my showers are At Home Baptism experience's for me.
20. As I bathe, not only is the day washed away, but also my sins and I am reborn.
21. I dislike it when Kinfolk and Kindred, impose their religious beliefs onto me.
22. Do not preach to me if I know you know that you are a fucking hypocrite.
23. Yes, I pray and I pray every day. For All of Great Spirit's People's!
24. As a Man I enjoy having a shower head with extension to wash with.
25. Lady's, do not even believe you have this all covered. HA! I thought you knew.
Wow, I liked the way that flowed. Let me bust a spell check and this communique is out!
How about we have a chit-chat and I throw out a quick "Share and Tell It"!...
...I'm in the mood and have just thought about maybe coming up with a topic of some sort. Let me see how this rolls...
...I am not sure from where I'll begin, so I think I'll just shoot from the hips - as usual - and see where this party takes us on the connection scale. Enough said, here I go!!
1. I was at one time a Super Freak.
2. Correct. Not the sort you took home to mama.
3. But my Shero did and here we are now.
4. Today marks our 38th Year Anniversary together!
5. Oh, how crazy in love I have always been with her.
6. I am but fifty two. Ya know?
7. These numbers represent and reflect damned near three quarters of life.
8. My life and My Path was started the day my eyes laid eyes on her.
9. So beautiful! So gorgeous! So sweet and innocent and oh, so in love.
10. With me.
11. Here we are all of these later. 16 February will mark our 33rd year of marriage.
12. Dammit! Our children are grown ass children today. My Baby's Two.
13. One who lives in a land far and far away. So far a pass port is necessary.
14. And one who lives across county. For one who does not drive - that is a land far away.
15. Boom! I just realized that I am still a Super Freak!
16. I am okay with this insight. I've always been a Super Freak.
17. What the Feck? I'm cool like that.
18. I enjoy taking showers. I really, really do.
19. Sometimes my showers are At Home Baptism experience's for me.
20. As I bathe, not only is the day washed away, but also my sins and I am reborn.
21. I dislike it when Kinfolk and Kindred, impose their religious beliefs onto me.
22. Do not preach to me if I know you know that you are a fucking hypocrite.
23. Yes, I pray and I pray every day. For All of Great Spirit's People's!
24. As a Man I enjoy having a shower head with extension to wash with.
25. Lady's, do not even believe you have this all covered. HA! I thought you knew.
Wow, I liked the way that flowed. Let me bust a spell check and this communique is out!
A Meniere's Disease Sound Symptom - Crowd Cheers and Applause Sound Effects (Super Extend)
Relations,
Yes, damn it! I have experianced this sound and types of noise way too many times. So and too many times is what I report. An other Meniere's Disease, Sound Symptom.
Yes, damn it! I am going to ask you to please give this a check out and listening to. Hear how the crowd tends to go with a certain flow, well, the crowds living in my ears are the same. Though I must say that my sounds and noises of huge crowds tend to be much longer in duration and not as many flucutations. Steady and consistantly loud and long cheers. The roar of a crowd! Yes!
No, this is not my video. I borrow it to share with my Guest and Readers Only. That simple.
From My Journals, Dated 19 December 1999
Relations,
I share this journal entry made back in 1999.
He whispers...
...little curly haired mixed breed boy, why do you cry?
Why do you climb the big old Oak to hide?
...and he whispers...
Sir, I can not be honest with you.
I really would have to lie.
So please Sir, no more questions, and good-bye.
...and the little curly haired mixed breed boy whispers...
...maybe someday, Sir., maybe someday.
Mario
I share this journal entry made back in 1999.
He whispers...
...little curly haired mixed breed boy, why do you cry?
Why do you climb the big old Oak to hide?
...and he whispers...
Sir, I can not be honest with you.
I really would have to lie.
So please Sir, no more questions, and good-bye.
...and the little curly haired mixed breed boy whispers...
...maybe someday, Sir., maybe someday.
Mario
Two Hours of Summer Waterfall - A Meniere's Sound Symptom
Kindred,
Yes, this sounds so very sweet and pleasant. Relaxing and calming...
...until one has to listen to this out loud for hours and hours at a time. This is one of my Meniere's Sounds Symptoms. I wish to share this with you, my Guests. This goes on non-stop. No respite. If it is not this sound symptom it is another.
Please, adjust volume up and down. Now imagine.
NOTE: I am not the owner of this video. I am one living with Meniere's Disease and simply wish to share with others what lives between my ears. That's all.
Please You All Wait One Minute!
Dearest Relations,
Please, please, please you all wait on one minute please.
Please, please you all take a moment to take a breathe.
Please, you all, may we recognize New Years Day was just sixteen days removed.
Christmas Day was exactly twenty-three days ago and we listened to Christmas songs and sang along and we exchanged our gifts and were thankful for the season and then...
...we drop it all like it's hot.
BECAUSE LIFE IS SO IMPORTANT AND BUSINESS IS SO IMPORTANT, that we forget that Christmas was just a bit over three weeks ago.
And we prayed for one and another and we forgot to remember something important. To me it is.
I worry about my Kinfolk and Kindred, you see. Them rushing through life - so eager to get old in a hurry. Please, just close your eyes for a minute and see how your children grow. Or your waist size.
Life is just too damned brief. Life is too short. Yack-yack-yackitty-blah-blah. The point is please my Dear One's, just please remember to breathe. Contemplate. Consider? Path's.
Happy Valentine's Day? And then, Happy Anniversary! And then Happy Birthday!
And then there's that doctor appointment and then, I have more cancer cut from my body and then I meet my new neurologist and then...
...no and then! I forget true, but sometimes I catch myself forgetting to breathe. So I wait.
Exhale.
Please, please, please you all wait on one minute please.
Please, please you all take a moment to take a breathe.
Please, you all, may we recognize New Years Day was just sixteen days removed.
Christmas Day was exactly twenty-three days ago and we listened to Christmas songs and sang along and we exchanged our gifts and were thankful for the season and then...
...we drop it all like it's hot.
BECAUSE LIFE IS SO IMPORTANT AND BUSINESS IS SO IMPORTANT, that we forget that Christmas was just a bit over three weeks ago.
And we prayed for one and another and we forgot to remember something important. To me it is.
I worry about my Kinfolk and Kindred, you see. Them rushing through life - so eager to get old in a hurry. Please, just close your eyes for a minute and see how your children grow. Or your waist size.
Life is just too damned brief. Life is too short. Yack-yack-yackitty-blah-blah. The point is please my Dear One's, just please remember to breathe. Contemplate. Consider? Path's.
Happy Valentine's Day? And then, Happy Anniversary! And then Happy Birthday!
And then there's that doctor appointment and then, I have more cancer cut from my body and then I meet my new neurologist and then...
...no and then! I forget true, but sometimes I catch myself forgetting to breathe. So I wait.
Exhale.
White Noise Rain Sound - A Meniere's Sound Symptom
Relations,
For some this is calming and a peaceful sound and noise. Maybe sometimes for me too, yes.
But there are the times when this is definitely not soothing or easy for me. That is when these sounds and noises come from within my three ears. The implant which lives next to my left deaf ear and the right good-bad ear hole-to-the-brain...
...and this noise and sounds which are often as loud as if blown out over a Public Address System at the Buc's stadium down and around the town. My Good God! So loud! That is when this becomes a problem - because there are times when I listen to this shit for hours and hours at a time. And lay in bed looking up at the figures created by the ceiling pop corn and let my imagination take me away and hope and pray that these are not the sound symptom of an incoming attack.
Sometimes I cry and listen, because that's all I freaking "can do" is listen. Seen? Seen.
NOTE: I do not own this video. I borrow it with the sole purpose of sharing what it is that I as a person living with aggressive Meniere's Disease, listens to. To share. That's all.
My Right Ear Pop's And Nausea And Dizziness And Sounds And Then!
Relations,
My right ear just popped for the one billionth time. Except with this one I was able to have a few moments of hearing clarity and even if but for a few - some are better than none I say to myself. I had this very sensation in my Deaf left just a week or so ago when there was a 'pop' in it. Surprised the shit out of me too! Because for an instant! I felt and thought as if I had made a clear, vivid right-of-way to the ear hole. Just for that very instant! I forgot that my left ear was out of sound. Stoned Cold Deaf.
The nausea has been riding me high today. Lingering near or at my Adam's apple most all day. There has not been any productivity today, but the gag reminds me of impending vomit. This is not a pretty feeling at all and neither is it romantic.
I am sweating as we have this exchange of thoughts. My scalp, moist from the perspiration that swells into little tear like droplets and slide down my neck. I wear a necklace of perspiration. The air condition is running and it is 16 January 2013. Winter is fifteen days old.
NOTE: Miss. K., my counselor with the Vocational Rehabilitation Department, just called me and with her call has perpetuated a synchronicity that has been a part of my life and Path for several day's now. If not a couple or three weeks really. Let me give you an example;, yesterday I visited with my therapist Sir Dude and a topic we discussed was inquiring about services rendered by the insurance company for Folks in similar situation as I. Services such as the YMCA or a gym where I would be able to receive coaching for the improvement of mind and body. God has my Spirit's covered! Earlier today I received a telephone call from a nurse with Walgreen's working in conjunction with my insurance company. And, yes we spoke of such services and benefits and I have learned that there are several medications that my wife and I take that are free at our drug store. RN Tina, and I spoke for forty-five minutes and discussed laboratories and medications and doctors and all of that medically related stuff. This energy that was initiated on yesterday at therapy continued...
...and then, now to have just had the connection with Miss. K., all has had the equivalent of a total wash over with the emotions stirred and energies created. There is something else to share here, that being a follow up talk Miss. K. and I had about the equipment that would better able me to live an aware and in a safer environment. What would have required a trip to her office just a week or so ago, is now something we'll be able to do via telephone.
She has the identical catalog as I!
What are the chances that she and I would have the same book? I don't know, but believe this, my breathe was knocked out of my lungs during our connection!
That story is one Blessed by The Great Spirit. My goodness-gracious-great-balls-on-fire!!
Right. Now, as I was saying...
...the sounds are different in both ears at this time. I would not know which one to choose being the most aggravating or disgusting, so I won't. I have no choice with these matters, my two ears do as they wish. And Holy Crap, I forgot about my third ear, the BAHA. (Bone Anchored Hearing Aid) This too requires daily hygiene. I smile because that sounds so disgusting yet it is truth. Eh? The sound in my left deaf ear is one that sounds like someone on an old fashioned type writer - not typing, just tapping over the same letter or number over and over and over again. It sounds like this: Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap! Yes. And the right ear has cicadas and the high frequency of hire electrical wires. ALL AT THE SAME TIME! Fack man, what the fack is this?
By the way my dear guests, I do wish to say that even when times are dreadful with these Meniere's symptoms - the vomit at my throats escape hatch, the festival ride dizzy and tipsy that lingers all day, the sweating, perspiring and misting's. The damned falling and tripping-on- nothings and these foiken sounds! And then...
...even with the gloom's and blue's that came as part of a package deal with the cards I have been dealt - I do my best to do my best.
You know that I know you know, I've got to keep on movin'...
My right ear just popped for the one billionth time. Except with this one I was able to have a few moments of hearing clarity and even if but for a few - some are better than none I say to myself. I had this very sensation in my Deaf left just a week or so ago when there was a 'pop' in it. Surprised the shit out of me too! Because for an instant! I felt and thought as if I had made a clear, vivid right-of-way to the ear hole. Just for that very instant! I forgot that my left ear was out of sound. Stoned Cold Deaf.
The nausea has been riding me high today. Lingering near or at my Adam's apple most all day. There has not been any productivity today, but the gag reminds me of impending vomit. This is not a pretty feeling at all and neither is it romantic.
I am sweating as we have this exchange of thoughts. My scalp, moist from the perspiration that swells into little tear like droplets and slide down my neck. I wear a necklace of perspiration. The air condition is running and it is 16 January 2013. Winter is fifteen days old.
NOTE: Miss. K., my counselor with the Vocational Rehabilitation Department, just called me and with her call has perpetuated a synchronicity that has been a part of my life and Path for several day's now. If not a couple or three weeks really. Let me give you an example;, yesterday I visited with my therapist Sir Dude and a topic we discussed was inquiring about services rendered by the insurance company for Folks in similar situation as I. Services such as the YMCA or a gym where I would be able to receive coaching for the improvement of mind and body. God has my Spirit's covered! Earlier today I received a telephone call from a nurse with Walgreen's working in conjunction with my insurance company. And, yes we spoke of such services and benefits and I have learned that there are several medications that my wife and I take that are free at our drug store. RN Tina, and I spoke for forty-five minutes and discussed laboratories and medications and doctors and all of that medically related stuff. This energy that was initiated on yesterday at therapy continued...
...and then, now to have just had the connection with Miss. K., all has had the equivalent of a total wash over with the emotions stirred and energies created. There is something else to share here, that being a follow up talk Miss. K. and I had about the equipment that would better able me to live an aware and in a safer environment. What would have required a trip to her office just a week or so ago, is now something we'll be able to do via telephone.
She has the identical catalog as I!
What are the chances that she and I would have the same book? I don't know, but believe this, my breathe was knocked out of my lungs during our connection!
That story is one Blessed by The Great Spirit. My goodness-gracious-great-balls-on-fire!!
Right. Now, as I was saying...
...the sounds are different in both ears at this time. I would not know which one to choose being the most aggravating or disgusting, so I won't. I have no choice with these matters, my two ears do as they wish. And Holy Crap, I forgot about my third ear, the BAHA. (Bone Anchored Hearing Aid) This too requires daily hygiene. I smile because that sounds so disgusting yet it is truth. Eh? The sound in my left deaf ear is one that sounds like someone on an old fashioned type writer - not typing, just tapping over the same letter or number over and over and over again. It sounds like this: Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap! Yes. And the right ear has cicadas and the high frequency of hire electrical wires. ALL AT THE SAME TIME! Fack man, what the fack is this?
By the way my dear guests, I do wish to say that even when times are dreadful with these Meniere's symptoms - the vomit at my throats escape hatch, the festival ride dizzy and tipsy that lingers all day, the sweating, perspiring and misting's. The damned falling and tripping-on- nothings and these foiken sounds! And then...
...even with the gloom's and blue's that came as part of a package deal with the cards I have been dealt - I do my best to do my best.
You know that I know you know, I've got to keep on movin'...
Machine Gun Sound Effects...(A Meniere's Disease Sound Symptom)
Kin,
Good morning.
Please NOTE that I do not own, was not the producer, nor am I the creator of this video.
I am one living with Meniere's Disease, am SSD and have moderate hearing loss in my right ear.
I simply wish to share with my Guests and Reader's one of the many Meniere's Disease, Sound Symptoms that blare within the confines of my ears and brain, all of which are tucked away neatly in this bobble head and quite thick skull of mine.
The sound symptom's suffered here are usually the M-16 and M-60's. I have had these sound affects be as abrupt as lightening - to those that I seem able to detect this dreadful sound and noise from a distance. As if incoming machine gun fire gets closer and closer and closer and so close it sounds as if these weapons are being discharged in my back yard.
I am so for real I want to cuss and curse, but won't I promise.
Please, take a listen to these sounds for one minute. Adjusting the volume high and low. Hear?
Monday, January 14, 2013
Soon Comes The 18,000th Guest
Kind Ones,
By end of week, there will have been over 18,000 Kindred Ones stop by for a little read and see.
My Dearest Great Spirit...
...I am so not worthy.
I am Blessed and humbled by you the Reader's and am forever thankful for your visit's.
Every mile stone lets me know I am not alone and that there really is more "We" than imagined.
Thank you, my Dearest Kind One's, thank you all.
signed:
One Deaf Ear
By end of week, there will have been over 18,000 Kindred Ones stop by for a little read and see.
My Dearest Great Spirit...
...I am so not worthy.
I am Blessed and humbled by you the Reader's and am forever thankful for your visit's.
Every mile stone lets me know I am not alone and that there really is more "We" than imagined.
Thank you, my Dearest Kind One's, thank you all.
signed:
One Deaf Ear
Come Morning And A Visit From Dog Spirit
Come morning I have an appointment with Sir Dude, my therapist and member of my Team. Will be out and about on one of my Little Blue Buses for what I hope will not be such an adventurous day. Last weeks rubbish was enough to cause any body to get all side ways and such. And yes, I know this was 'only' the second time, so I'll cut them some slack. I did have the opportunity to voice my concerns about those occurrence's and feel as if my words were heard. Maybe through the words of the one I spoke with - but I was able to get my point across...
...I said, "I don't do abandonment too well and I did say that and I have issues with them." True.
Come the morrow I'll make follow up calls to He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, the laboratory and pharmacy down in Sarasota, Florida who have mistook me for somebody else, I suspect. And I will reach out to Miss. K. at the Government Office to insure certain Team Member's did what they had to do for me, The Team and Franchise Person. I am also the team Mascot and her.
The pains in my neck, shoulders and skull are a high "7" and I go un-medicated. There are pains that generate behind my ears - both - alternating. The sounds of the gators, frogs and crickets that live behind the General Store at Holiday Park in The Everglades are absurdly loud and very alive within both ears. Between both ears and inside this thick skull they're all fucking alive.
I was blessed with the visit of a dog's Spirit earlier this afternoon. A nice sized larger dog that was white, white and had big black and brown ink blots on its fur. Like the markings of those beautiful pony's in every cowboy and Indian movie ever made. The Spirit was a very happy One and I thought connections with previous owners here at this Ranch Style Lodge and perhaps one of our hound Abigail's parents. I am in the ball park on this one for sure. I can smell it.
It is now time to be off to my safe place to read another chapter or three of this fantastic book I have my face and eyes enjoying to deaf. It is sort of like that familiar taste of a tea one has drank for decades or the exquisite flavour of Honey. Seen? Seen. And good night to you too.
...I said, "I don't do abandonment too well and I did say that and I have issues with them." True.
Come the morrow I'll make follow up calls to He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, the laboratory and pharmacy down in Sarasota, Florida who have mistook me for somebody else, I suspect. And I will reach out to Miss. K. at the Government Office to insure certain Team Member's did what they had to do for me, The Team and Franchise Person. I am also the team Mascot and her.
The pains in my neck, shoulders and skull are a high "7" and I go un-medicated. There are pains that generate behind my ears - both - alternating. The sounds of the gators, frogs and crickets that live behind the General Store at Holiday Park in The Everglades are absurdly loud and very alive within both ears. Between both ears and inside this thick skull they're all fucking alive.
I was blessed with the visit of a dog's Spirit earlier this afternoon. A nice sized larger dog that was white, white and had big black and brown ink blots on its fur. Like the markings of those beautiful pony's in every cowboy and Indian movie ever made. The Spirit was a very happy One and I thought connections with previous owners here at this Ranch Style Lodge and perhaps one of our hound Abigail's parents. I am in the ball park on this one for sure. I can smell it.
It is now time to be off to my safe place to read another chapter or three of this fantastic book I have my face and eyes enjoying to deaf. It is sort of like that familiar taste of a tea one has drank for decades or the exquisite flavour of Honey. Seen? Seen. And good night to you too.
Facial Spasm's, This Is What It Sounds Like When I Cry
Kindred,
I've been asked, "What does a facial spasm feel like?". Well, then let me explain it like this...
...have you, my Guest, my dearest Kindred, ever have a leg cramp or spasm? Like maybe while asleep in the middle of the night and you fall off the bed, rolling and cussing and cursing and the poor horrified spouse comes to the rescue. Not knowing what to do, but there she is with me and for me and yours there with you and that dreadful event taking place in the calf of one's calf muscle. Like lightening strikes so suddenly, Oh My God!
What about a foot spasm? Where and when the foot becomes all distorted and twisted and just absolutely dreadful in pain that takes the breathe away! Oh, My God.
Wait! Oh, wait! Have you my Kindred, ever have your back go into horrifying spasm's and cramps that really do take the breathe away and I remember begging God, please, God, please help me out this once and again and I'll promise to get extra angry at those jack-holes who keep fucking up my Earth Mother. Oh, God Please!
Not that I would know what these would feel like, but I bet my wife, my daughters, my mommy and sissy's and all of my friend Gurrrrrls know what menstrual cramps feel like. Well, I just?
Have you ever had such stomach cramps that you thought you were just about to shit your shorts? You know the one's. Them you get in the lower parts of your stomach that feel as if you're giving birth? Or like that scene in "Aliens". And I'm a Dude! Naw Boo, shit just don't work like that.
Now, apply these really freaking life altering spasm's, cramps, kinks, and or what-ever you wish to call them...
...and apply them fucking horrific pains to your face and imagine what you look like. So you look in the mirror. And all I can do is scream! Which is really more of a moan. Or a long and as loud as possible groan. Like this: Grrrrrrrrrrroooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!! And I cry. And cry...
...yet, do not feel the tears that fall down my cheeks.
Yes, this is what it sounds like when I cry.
Mario,
1959 to the present.
P.S. No, wait one moment. (Dammit that sounds like such a long damned time!) I'm only fifty-two, you know. Yeah, I know, but it's okay now to drop those little white lies about my age. I mean, we're in the Year 2013, right? Well, shit then! That sounds like a long damned time to me and my young ass and my biological clock click-clocks...
...click-clock, click-clock, click-clock's.
I've been asked, "What does a facial spasm feel like?". Well, then let me explain it like this...
...have you, my Guest, my dearest Kindred, ever have a leg cramp or spasm? Like maybe while asleep in the middle of the night and you fall off the bed, rolling and cussing and cursing and the poor horrified spouse comes to the rescue. Not knowing what to do, but there she is with me and for me and yours there with you and that dreadful event taking place in the calf of one's calf muscle. Like lightening strikes so suddenly, Oh My God!
What about a foot spasm? Where and when the foot becomes all distorted and twisted and just absolutely dreadful in pain that takes the breathe away! Oh, My God.
Wait! Oh, wait! Have you my Kindred, ever have your back go into horrifying spasm's and cramps that really do take the breathe away and I remember begging God, please, God, please help me out this once and again and I'll promise to get extra angry at those jack-holes who keep fucking up my Earth Mother. Oh, God Please!
Not that I would know what these would feel like, but I bet my wife, my daughters, my mommy and sissy's and all of my friend Gurrrrrls know what menstrual cramps feel like. Well, I just?
Have you ever had such stomach cramps that you thought you were just about to shit your shorts? You know the one's. Them you get in the lower parts of your stomach that feel as if you're giving birth? Or like that scene in "Aliens". And I'm a Dude! Naw Boo, shit just don't work like that.
Now, apply these really freaking life altering spasm's, cramps, kinks, and or what-ever you wish to call them...
...and apply them fucking horrific pains to your face and imagine what you look like. So you look in the mirror. And all I can do is scream! Which is really more of a moan. Or a long and as loud as possible groan. Like this: Grrrrrrrrrrroooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!! And I cry. And cry...
...yet, do not feel the tears that fall down my cheeks.
Yes, this is what it sounds like when I cry.
Mario,
1959 to the present.
P.S. No, wait one moment. (Dammit that sounds like such a long damned time!) I'm only fifty-two, you know. Yeah, I know, but it's okay now to drop those little white lies about my age. I mean, we're in the Year 2013, right? Well, shit then! That sounds like a long damned time to me and my young ass and my biological clock click-clocks...
...click-clock, click-clock, click-clock's.
Our Dear One's
Kind One's,
I beg your pardon for the three day "Close Down", without notice. I missed being able to access this portal, but there were some extraordinary energies being created willfully and randomly by my dearest and beloved Kinfolk and Kindred. Yes, all is good and all is well. There was time for me to reset my sights. This was a period of time that took and removed me from a not so pleasant place. I know this. I needed a break from there. I am actually feeling and am still being influenced by the Baptism of Youthful Energy and the medicine that comes with total and unconditional love.
Looking back, I might see it was a familiar scene that has been lived and relived generation after generation. These are the times when we impact our youth and provide them with the stories of them who came before us, the Elders. I reckon, I may have felt a nip at my biological clock here a couple of times.
People don't live like people used to any more. Them who came before me. My nearest of Kinfolk, went back three generations on my father's Spanish Moss. My Abuela's, his Mother's generation and my Great Grand Parent's, Abuela Mimi and Abuelo (Grandfather), Luis. My Great Grandfather Luis, was born in 1897 and my Mimi was born in 1900. The stories that were handed down from them was medicine and energies from such an awesome time in U.S. history. From their times here in U.S. history. As it was and is for my grandmother who is still alive at 93 years of age. Her history spoken from her mouth to my ears has been influential in many ways on these Path's I have walked. Abuela Mary, has been one of my greatest teachers. She was a nurse for most all of her adult life. She was the mid-wife who assisted my mom in giving birth to me and my sibling's. I remember how she always went to work with pressed Whites, her Nurse hat perfect and always with a little tilt to one side, and her absolutely spotless shoes - whiter than Cotton. Every day. Her work ethic impeccable...
...which I believe influenced my Dad and my two Aunt's. Their stories are meant to be passed along. As they were from them to us. It is up to us to pass along theirs and our stories.
Who influenced my work ethic. My stories and my wife's stories are, have been and will be passed along to our two daughters. Who in turn will pass along to their children. My teacher's.
People don't live like people used to any more. My dearest Kinfolk on my Mom's Southern Magnolia Tree White blossoms, went back three generations too. The branches are many and go far back into an American history rich with those who came before me here. My Grandpa Roy had stories from a past that included a Grandfather who fought in the Civil War and generation after generation of wonderful Southern Hospitality type Kinfolk. AND their stories. My God, I didn't need much more than their stories and the many books I read as a child and have read since.
I am thinking and feeling in my heart that what I am feeling today, and what I have felt over the past three days is what my parents felt when they wore similar shoes and my grandparents did when they were surrounded by their dear one's and my Great Grandparents when the Baby Boom occurred in our Circles of Kinfolk. Our Clan's. Las Familia...
...Our Dear One's.
All of who influence me on a daily basis and are a living part of my very being.
I am the Blessed One Walking.
I beg your pardon for the three day "Close Down", without notice. I missed being able to access this portal, but there were some extraordinary energies being created willfully and randomly by my dearest and beloved Kinfolk and Kindred. Yes, all is good and all is well. There was time for me to reset my sights. This was a period of time that took and removed me from a not so pleasant place. I know this. I needed a break from there. I am actually feeling and am still being influenced by the Baptism of Youthful Energy and the medicine that comes with total and unconditional love.
Looking back, I might see it was a familiar scene that has been lived and relived generation after generation. These are the times when we impact our youth and provide them with the stories of them who came before us, the Elders. I reckon, I may have felt a nip at my biological clock here a couple of times.
People don't live like people used to any more. Them who came before me. My nearest of Kinfolk, went back three generations on my father's Spanish Moss. My Abuela's, his Mother's generation and my Great Grand Parent's, Abuela Mimi and Abuelo (Grandfather), Luis. My Great Grandfather Luis, was born in 1897 and my Mimi was born in 1900. The stories that were handed down from them was medicine and energies from such an awesome time in U.S. history. From their times here in U.S. history. As it was and is for my grandmother who is still alive at 93 years of age. Her history spoken from her mouth to my ears has been influential in many ways on these Path's I have walked. Abuela Mary, has been one of my greatest teachers. She was a nurse for most all of her adult life. She was the mid-wife who assisted my mom in giving birth to me and my sibling's. I remember how she always went to work with pressed Whites, her Nurse hat perfect and always with a little tilt to one side, and her absolutely spotless shoes - whiter than Cotton. Every day. Her work ethic impeccable...
...which I believe influenced my Dad and my two Aunt's. Their stories are meant to be passed along. As they were from them to us. It is up to us to pass along theirs and our stories.
Who influenced my work ethic. My stories and my wife's stories are, have been and will be passed along to our two daughters. Who in turn will pass along to their children. My teacher's.
People don't live like people used to any more. My dearest Kinfolk on my Mom's Southern Magnolia Tree White blossoms, went back three generations too. The branches are many and go far back into an American history rich with those who came before me here. My Grandpa Roy had stories from a past that included a Grandfather who fought in the Civil War and generation after generation of wonderful Southern Hospitality type Kinfolk. AND their stories. My God, I didn't need much more than their stories and the many books I read as a child and have read since.
I am thinking and feeling in my heart that what I am feeling today, and what I have felt over the past three days is what my parents felt when they wore similar shoes and my grandparents did when they were surrounded by their dear one's and my Great Grandparents when the Baby Boom occurred in our Circles of Kinfolk. Our Clan's. Las Familia...
...Our Dear One's.
All of who influence me on a daily basis and are a living part of my very being.
I am the Blessed One Walking.
Friday, January 11, 2013
The Weight Thing And My 501's
The weight scenario with me was going in the incorrect direction during the holidays and I think may have had me getting stressed and feeling quite uncomfortable for a spell. I did gain a few pounds but have been successful in gaining back the control of it and have lost a few pound since I last spoke about the weight thing. And, I am on a path to losing more.
My 501's have not had any issues at all. It was as if my waist never recognized the gain of a few pounds. If anything, I have a pair that I have out grown - going in the slimmer way - not the wider way. Although I must say that was once rather not-so-obvious, has blossomed into a very pleasant butt. My butt likes the way my 501' make them feel too. Really. I have a shelf back there for now and there's another couple or so pieces that enjoy the feel of my 501's too. No mention of them though my legs are comfy and my feet are adorable with them on.
If I had not donated my slimmer 501 jeans a few years ago I would be fitting in those soon. I guarantee that I have learned to never donate 501's. Never, ever again. I sure must have been in a mighty sweet charity state-of-mind because these 501's are not to dad-gummed cheap. I don't know about Canada or Mexico, but here in the U.S., these are a handful of dollars. These three will be mine until I cross over - no doubt. As a matter of fact, I wish to be laid to rest in a pair of my favorite denim's. My 501's.
Once my body has gotten back on good terms from this past week and a couple of days of Meniere's Disease issues and changes - hell who am I kidding, once I get back from all of this holiday related depression and inactivity, my plan is to increase the amount of activity in my day-to-day life style. I am aware that the more I walk and the more I exercise the more weight I lose. The loss of weight I have been having has been totally from cutting back on certain foods and portions. I am still controlling the sugar intake and I would like to think that I'll soon go sugarless. The lower the sugar the better the health and loss of weight as well. So bonus.
By the way, my latest 501's are the shrink to fit type. Oh, so hell yeah!
My 501's have not had any issues at all. It was as if my waist never recognized the gain of a few pounds. If anything, I have a pair that I have out grown - going in the slimmer way - not the wider way. Although I must say that was once rather not-so-obvious, has blossomed into a very pleasant butt. My butt likes the way my 501' make them feel too. Really. I have a shelf back there for now and there's another couple or so pieces that enjoy the feel of my 501's too. No mention of them though my legs are comfy and my feet are adorable with them on.
If I had not donated my slimmer 501 jeans a few years ago I would be fitting in those soon. I guarantee that I have learned to never donate 501's. Never, ever again. I sure must have been in a mighty sweet charity state-of-mind because these 501's are not to dad-gummed cheap. I don't know about Canada or Mexico, but here in the U.S., these are a handful of dollars. These three will be mine until I cross over - no doubt. As a matter of fact, I wish to be laid to rest in a pair of my favorite denim's. My 501's.
Once my body has gotten back on good terms from this past week and a couple of days of Meniere's Disease issues and changes - hell who am I kidding, once I get back from all of this holiday related depression and inactivity, my plan is to increase the amount of activity in my day-to-day life style. I am aware that the more I walk and the more I exercise the more weight I lose. The loss of weight I have been having has been totally from cutting back on certain foods and portions. I am still controlling the sugar intake and I would like to think that I'll soon go sugarless. The lower the sugar the better the health and loss of weight as well. So bonus.
By the way, my latest 501's are the shrink to fit type. Oh, so hell yeah!
Mindfulness
Brothers and Sisters,
Mindfulness, is a part of my life blood for me and some of we here on Earth Mother. Being Mindful of my life and My Path are important to me. I engage life and it's going's on's and am at my best when I am with Kindred. Sadly, there are too many in my Circle who are twisted up in their perception of Life and what it is to "mean" to have a Life here on Mother Earth. Delusions, deceit and too many faces to remember which one was said or worn last. These influence's have always affected me. Fuck, I guess it's about time I do express this. No, I haven't let the world change my mind, it has been the lessons learned and the Path I follow that has.
My Wife and I brought our two awesome daughter's up to walk with a purpose and too, to grasp a hold of life and live life with gusto and even more of a purpose. Remembering reflection and contemplation's on taking life full speed ahead - all the while capturing moments of time to slow things down a pace or two. Take the time to enjoy life, take the time to enjoy Earth Mother and also take the time to be ever thankful for the all of this that has been Blessed upon us. My daughters were awesome students and even better teachers. Seen.
Too many rush through their lives with reckless abandon. To busy with what it is they think life is - what it is their life means to them. As I get closer to far away on My Path, I have the knowledge of those who came before me as spoken to me by the Women in our Kinship's. Our Women are the leaders and teachers. Our Women are the stronger of us and are the Keeper of The Stories. It is important for our Women to understand and be forever mindful of this responsibility. The Keeper's of Story's are important in life. I am pleased that I listened.
Thankful that I listened.
Too many take all of life for total granted. Their eyes, their legs, their ears, even the air they breathe to sustain their lives is taken for granted.
By mindfulness of heritage, present and future, I recognize it is right to get closer to far away. The further away I am from them who take life for granted - the better state of mind I am with. A lesson I learned early in life is a story I am able to share with my readers. Be thankful and glad to be blessed with life. The blessings of vision, blessings of air to breathe and most importantly the Kin to love and love me, are of the utmost importance to me. I love, Love.
By being mindful of my own story in life - I am better able to keep myself focused on a positive future, to focus and be surrounded by those who are of the same. There is no room for the drama and lies of others in this place I speak of. What I would like to say is that Life is simply too short.
You see, I know that I am not even guaranteed tomorrow. Today was a great day to die. Yes, but I am blessed to have been provided another day here on my home planet...
...so how is it then, that I would burden my self with them who practice and live their lives with lies, deception and two-facedness. Even those who are in the blood - my own Kinfolk, shall no longer be that burden. I am mindful of the fact that I held on to the stench of dysfunction for so too many years in my life, by Kinfolk, friend, neighbour and stranger alike.
No more.
Mindfulness, is a part of my life blood for me and some of we here on Earth Mother. Being Mindful of my life and My Path are important to me. I engage life and it's going's on's and am at my best when I am with Kindred. Sadly, there are too many in my Circle who are twisted up in their perception of Life and what it is to "mean" to have a Life here on Mother Earth. Delusions, deceit and too many faces to remember which one was said or worn last. These influence's have always affected me. Fuck, I guess it's about time I do express this. No, I haven't let the world change my mind, it has been the lessons learned and the Path I follow that has.
My Wife and I brought our two awesome daughter's up to walk with a purpose and too, to grasp a hold of life and live life with gusto and even more of a purpose. Remembering reflection and contemplation's on taking life full speed ahead - all the while capturing moments of time to slow things down a pace or two. Take the time to enjoy life, take the time to enjoy Earth Mother and also take the time to be ever thankful for the all of this that has been Blessed upon us. My daughters were awesome students and even better teachers. Seen.
Too many rush through their lives with reckless abandon. To busy with what it is they think life is - what it is their life means to them. As I get closer to far away on My Path, I have the knowledge of those who came before me as spoken to me by the Women in our Kinship's. Our Women are the leaders and teachers. Our Women are the stronger of us and are the Keeper of The Stories. It is important for our Women to understand and be forever mindful of this responsibility. The Keeper's of Story's are important in life. I am pleased that I listened.
Thankful that I listened.
Too many take all of life for total granted. Their eyes, their legs, their ears, even the air they breathe to sustain their lives is taken for granted.
By mindfulness of heritage, present and future, I recognize it is right to get closer to far away. The further away I am from them who take life for granted - the better state of mind I am with. A lesson I learned early in life is a story I am able to share with my readers. Be thankful and glad to be blessed with life. The blessings of vision, blessings of air to breathe and most importantly the Kin to love and love me, are of the utmost importance to me. I love, Love.
By being mindful of my own story in life - I am better able to keep myself focused on a positive future, to focus and be surrounded by those who are of the same. There is no room for the drama and lies of others in this place I speak of. What I would like to say is that Life is simply too short.
You see, I know that I am not even guaranteed tomorrow. Today was a great day to die. Yes, but I am blessed to have been provided another day here on my home planet...
...so how is it then, that I would burden my self with them who practice and live their lives with lies, deception and two-facedness. Even those who are in the blood - my own Kinfolk, shall no longer be that burden. I am mindful of the fact that I held on to the stench of dysfunction for so too many years in my life, by Kinfolk, friend, neighbour and stranger alike.
No more.
A Story About U.S. Helicopters Used In Vietnam War And Mario
Hello, my name is Mario.
I am married and have been with my bride for thirty-three years. We have two grown children. We live in a community that is wonderfully and exceptionally diverse. We share our home with three fantastic hounds and we are blessed to have our back yard be attached to a Preserve. We have a medium sized swimming pool, we have a handful of yards and the Four Directions are present and respected here. Prior to being diagnosed and having this Meniere's take both ears and one balance system, I had enjoyed many years of management with Starbucks Coffee Company. Prior to Starbucks, there were other places of employment where I managed and assisted with the creation of some mighty fine teams - in retail, restaurant management, and other position's of Middle Management. I thrived and excelled with these positions and am pleased to say that I actually loved my last two jobs. Yes, I did. Very much.
I am Single Side Deaf with a Cochlear BAHA, a Bone Anchored Hearing Aid and am Hard of Hearing with Moderate Hearing Loss in my right good-bad ear. I have Meniere's Disease. One of the many symptoms of Meniere's are the audio hallucinations. I like to call them noises and sounds. One of my endless dozens of sounds and noises in my ears is the sound of the helicopter. The one I have living within me is the one used during the Vietnam War. This air vessel sound began to strike me with furious impact on my life just a few short years ago. The helicopter usually whomp-whomp-whomp's immediately above the roof of our Lodge and stays, seemingly always, just feet from over my head.
The first time I was struck by such horrendous sounds of these War helicopters I honestly thought we were having Military maneuvers. Either that or my community was on the verge of being invaded by our own troops. The Sounds were and are so vivid and vividly clear. Loud and clear as if something was really going to happen. It took me twice to go out of doors to check, listen and see that there were no damned Vietnam era Helicopter loitering in the air space above me, our hounds and our home. My Sweet Lord.
Now when this particular sound visits - I disregard it as much as I humanly can and no, I don't go and check anymore. I have learned that this shit will not go away - never ever. I am not okay with it, but there isn't a damned thing I can do about it. Yeah, yeah, I take my medicine when the sounds become severe or especially problematic. There are times when I think I can't go any further. But then I remember I know I must keep on keeping on.
Life?
I am married and have been with my bride for thirty-three years. We have two grown children. We live in a community that is wonderfully and exceptionally diverse. We share our home with three fantastic hounds and we are blessed to have our back yard be attached to a Preserve. We have a medium sized swimming pool, we have a handful of yards and the Four Directions are present and respected here. Prior to being diagnosed and having this Meniere's take both ears and one balance system, I had enjoyed many years of management with Starbucks Coffee Company. Prior to Starbucks, there were other places of employment where I managed and assisted with the creation of some mighty fine teams - in retail, restaurant management, and other position's of Middle Management. I thrived and excelled with these positions and am pleased to say that I actually loved my last two jobs. Yes, I did. Very much.
I am Single Side Deaf with a Cochlear BAHA, a Bone Anchored Hearing Aid and am Hard of Hearing with Moderate Hearing Loss in my right good-bad ear. I have Meniere's Disease. One of the many symptoms of Meniere's are the audio hallucinations. I like to call them noises and sounds. One of my endless dozens of sounds and noises in my ears is the sound of the helicopter. The one I have living within me is the one used during the Vietnam War. This air vessel sound began to strike me with furious impact on my life just a few short years ago. The helicopter usually whomp-whomp-whomp's immediately above the roof of our Lodge and stays, seemingly always, just feet from over my head.
The first time I was struck by such horrendous sounds of these War helicopters I honestly thought we were having Military maneuvers. Either that or my community was on the verge of being invaded by our own troops. The Sounds were and are so vivid and vividly clear. Loud and clear as if something was really going to happen. It took me twice to go out of doors to check, listen and see that there were no damned Vietnam era Helicopter loitering in the air space above me, our hounds and our home. My Sweet Lord.
Now when this particular sound visits - I disregard it as much as I humanly can and no, I don't go and check anymore. I have learned that this shit will not go away - never ever. I am not okay with it, but there isn't a damned thing I can do about it. Yeah, yeah, I take my medicine when the sounds become severe or especially problematic. There are times when I think I can't go any further. But then I remember I know I must keep on keeping on.
Life?
Thursday, January 10, 2013
(A Meniere's Disease Sound Symptom) Tim Bryson Driving out of River Bryson's Airboat Tours
Kindred,
NOTE: This is not my video. I have borrowed it simply to share this sound to all Kindred.
This is one of the sounds and noises that I capture in my ears and between them when Meniere's strikes. There are not any hints, indications or symptoms of the onset of these Airboat sounds and noises. This is perhaps one of the biggest frustrations and dislikes for me. These sounds tend to be so very loud and linger for hours and hours on end. When the Airboat sounds visit I have tried to play music on my stereo out loud with poor results. When the Airboat happens, I've tried to move about and be some-what more active than prior to the sounds coming...
...take a listen. Turn the volume up and listen. Just for a minute - one minute while you read...
...you see, when sounds and noises "such" as Airboats happen my attention is whacked-and-facked and I can become rather agitated and or anxious. I break out into sweats, have difficulty breathing and not concentrating too clearly. There have been many times of frantic anxiety, which to me and my knowledge of group therapy's and peer counsellings, is very damned close to an all-out panic attack. I have had such attacks. I know what it is to feel like this. There has not been one event when I was able to disengage from this sound. I admit that I have, as ordered, taken my evening medication to aid and assist me - not the sound or noise - but me, the person in this skin. These loud sounds scare me really something awful sometimes. Nightmare's with my eye's and one deaf ear wide open! Sometimes the best thing for me to do is to find one of my Safe Places and just sit or lay down. Reading is beyond difficult with the distractions of this sound and noise. I have tried that as a away to disengage with negative results.
When all of these sounds, horrific noises and voices first began to happen a few years ago, He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, called them an anomaly. My therapist Sir Dude, termed them audio hallucinations. Both are correct - but do not know what it is I try to describe when I share the sounds and noises that visit the space between my two gorgeous ears and one implant.
The first couple times the sound of the Airboat sound came up, I contemplated it was because we live approximately seventy-five yards from a very deep channel. Yes, I went out to see if I could in fact really hear the Airboat better. I aways perceived these sounds came from the North of our property and I suspected it was the Department Of The Interior navigating an inspection of some sort or spraying the of the DDT into the beautiful and huge channel for mosquito control...
...but, you see, there never was any Airboat's out back...
...it took me one time to figure that the sounds of the Airboats were not coming from the channel, but my Kindred, from within one ear - if not both - which is the evilest of evil when it is I must listen to the same sound time and time again. In both ears. For hours on in. This is called bi-lateral Meniere's Disease. It is also a dreadful form of self torture, self abuse.
Kinfolk, when these sounds and noises visit me, the sounds and noises of what I perceive to be an industrial sized Airboat out on the channel are not. THE SOUNDS, ARE LIKE IT "THE AIRBOAT" IS IN MY BACK YARD! This damned sound, sounds like it is right next to my damned bedroom window. I mean? And yes, that DAMNED THING IS LOUD!
Yes, I know it's my disease and my problem. That is why I have such an extraordinary team assembled to aid, assist and guide me through the process's to get me to the next level. And oh yes, this team works and plays very well together. I am comfortable in stating we are functioning on my beliefs of the entire Team being on the "Same Page". For me, this is paramount...
...an UNCONDITIONAL.
I SHARE THIS WITH KINDRED WHO HAVE THE SAME DISEASE! I WANT KINDRED TO KNOW THERE ARE MORE OF US OUT HERE! WE ARE NOT ALONE! AS HUMAN SPIRIT'S AND CITIZENS OF EARTH MOTHER WE MUST JOIN FORCES TO ENSURE THAT AS PATIENTS TO OUR DOCTORS, OR CLIENTS TO OUR THERAPIST, WE DESERVE A VERY STRONG AND PRO-ACTIVE TEAM.
DO NOT SUFFER I SAY - DO NOT SUFFER!
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