The sound of the original 'clackers' have driven me from my place to rest and sleep. I suspect that some Folks born immediately before me and directly after might remember these toys that ended up being a hazard to play with. This toy consisted of two tough plastic balls attached to a string with a metal ring with which to hold on as you find a rhythmic motion between the two balls and make music like this: clackity-clack-clack-clack-clackity-clack-clack, for as long as one could keep a rhythm going. Which for some came easy and fortunately for me I never sustained any injury to my eyes or face - I may have knocked the stuffing out of my head every once and again, but no injury of true import...
...it's just that here I am forty something years later and I'm listening to these sounds in my deaf left ear, and yes, my ear can't hear because I am deaf in the left, but also because this sound is coming from the brain, not the ear - which scares me to deaf! Tonight, the right ear has provided respite from the racket that's created between these ears.
The above is sponsored by The Meniere's Disease and the family's of the same - meaning the symptoms of this hideous torture that accompanies me daily and nightly too. Another symptom that has bothered me plenty today has been the constant state of dizziness. A truly royal pain in the butt. I spoke about this in an earlier communique - here I am, later on in my day and the dizziness remains. Even being hyper aware and sensitive to my environments today still had me skip-a-step, Mr. Bumper-Car-Dude and He-Takes-One-Step-At-A-Time. When dizzy the business of awareness is paramount. This is and can sometimes be a matter of life and or limb. God knows I've had too many unpleasant thoughts dash through my mind as I stand street side preparing to cross. That's some anxiety provoking rubbish right there. I have had just too many 'almost's' with my balance and coordination. Guide my steps, My Lord.
Nausea has been at or below of my Adams apple. I have had three episodes of bringing up vomit into my mouth but otherwise non-productive. As in no hurling chunks of this or that nature. I have perspired and sweat on and off today. Sometimes so bad it is necessary to wrap this globe-of-a-skull with a bandanna. Or else I am a mess.
Like now.
Tomorrow, I have an appointment with He-Who-Touched-My-Brain. I called last Friday and left message of body fluids draining from the site of implant and pains behind the abutment and behind the ear out of sound. Speaking of which, it is a painful scene for me to wear my BAHA processor, which is major disappointing because it has surely become my third ear. It hurts to place it on, to wear and especially to remove the processor. I am puzzled. Doctor requested yesterday that I come in for a look and see. Kindred, we've come to far and gone too far for something else to happen to this site of implant. Doctor knows this and I am also hoping Doctor D., has some news as far as my new Neurologist there on the TGH and USF Campus. I see tests in my future.
Please let this be so.
I have nothing else to say.
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