Dearest Relations,
I have a young friend by the name of Nancy, I wish to introduce you to her. I have known Nancy since the 1990's. We worked, danced, and joked about together at the store in the big blue box. We worked our ass off there, but we had some fun too! Along with a wonderful group of Kindred Folk's who worked with each other, Nancy and I, there in the big blue box...
...working relationships became friendships, freindships create Kinfolk, sometimes to points beyond - as in really becoming Kinfolk by marriage. Which is like so cool in my romantic way of looking with life sometimes.
I am Blessed and am proud to know my sweet friend Nancy. I have always loved Nancy and felt she as a daughta-from-anotha-motha sort of way. Although, and please let it be known, I know Nancy's Mommy and there is no disrespect intended. It's as if I viewed Nancy as my daughter first, then the on the job, Nancy. Dig? Some way, this was the way it was intended.
I want to share that my dear friend Nancy, is fighting a cancer. I am seeing this dreadful fucking disease eat away at one of the most beautiful people I've ever met. My energies pick up her's as I have never seen Nancy without a smile. Her strength is Grace. Not only on the outside is Nancy beautiful, but beautiful where it matters most, she is beautiful inside too. This is such a difficult thing for me to speak or talk about. It's almost as if I am ignorant and know not what to say.
We were reunited one year or more ago, Nancy and I, and so many other's that the warmth from my Center soothes my chest and this energy let's me know that Nancy is surrounded with love and the energy that is love with strength...
...in some sort of cosmic way, we were all never really that far away or apart. Our friendships and kinships have all remained strong, sure and loved. I mean, this was the way life went when we were sent by Great Spirit to do what we had to. To make it in this fast-paced-hurry-the-fuck-up-life...
...and then to Witness this Blessed Circle be Reunited, is beyond my wildest dreams and may only be considered by me, an Act of the Great Spirit.
I am humbled. My love for Nancy and our Kindred has grown warmer and closer over the years. It has driven me practically mad to know that Nancy and I have lived in the same community for years and never once had we crossed paths until crossed paths at our Walgreens Pharmacy...
...I was freshly dischagred from hospital that evening and was still very much under the influence of them "special hospital medications" and was goofy I know because I was messing with my daughter. Honest to God, and you can ask her, when my eye's met her's - it made my eye orbs feel funny and I think I was overwhelmed with joy and happiness and then later that night, an immense sorrow...
...I was looking at Nancy through the eye's of a father reunited with a daughter. Nancy, know how much love, respect and dignity I have for you. You know, I must say out of respect, to mention Mama, your Mommy. I see where you "caught" your beauty and also I am witness to Two Warrior WOmen.
Keep on this This Fight!
Since then, I have thought of my dear friend Nancy every day of life. She came to visit me while I was in hospital for pete's sake! Her Mom and Dione too!
Nancy, I want you to know with confidence that I love you. My Spirit's love you and respect your Spirit's. I have had ceremony's for you and have prayed for you. Have banged the drums loudly for you...
...as I will contine to do. Remember that I will donate blood for you at the dial of a telephone. I have donated phalets (spell check,?) in the past and am prepared to do so for you...
...WAIT! Imagine this, I provide this mixed breed type O blood for you, then we would really be same Blooded. Oh, but wait, sweet Nancy, I have felt all along we bleed the same blood. Already.
Nancy, sweet Nancy, thank you for being a friend.
"Holla!"
Love ya, Mario
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Meniere's & I, The Past 48 Hours
With in the past forty-eight hours I have slept mighty close to thirty six of those hours. Unfortunately, I am still with-in the grasps of the sleep queue and although I may feel and think top notch at this moment, I will be back in bed directly. Something in the back of my skull tells me so.
I have an urgency to share with you the sounds that I have been listening to and one of which in particular is quite stunning. The stunning sounds occured yesterday afternoon shortly after I awoke from a sleep. I was with the belief that I was hearing and listening to either the pulse of Earth Mother or the beat of a Pow Wow drum. A steady and forthright beat. Very distinguishable versus all other sounds I have had over the last few years. Of which I do not minimize in the least, but there was something sure and very real going on in my Deaf Left ear yesterday. I recently made comment of contemplating on the sounds, well this is exactly what I did. I listened intensely and contemplated on the sounds of Earth Mother's Pulse or the Pow Wow drum. I laid in bed for what seemed to be three quarter of an hour and listened...
...until the sound gave way to a different and familiar sound. The ole faithful beep's. Oh, please. I wonder, if it wasn't for these beeps, my Left Deaf Ear would be truly a Deaf Left Ear. Seemingly originating from a distant satellite as it travels through the outer reaches of our atmosphere. It does not go beep-beep-beep, but rather like this, beeeep... beeeeeeeeeeeeeep.....beep........beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep....beeeeeeeeep.
The "........." indicates moments of silence.
Of the two sounds, I prefer the beats of Mother Earth's Heart Beat or the beat of the Pow Wow drum. It was a steady beat, sure and most of all familiar to my mind and Spirit's.
My right Hard of Hearing ear is hard of hearing today. Earlier, there was the sounds of cicadas. As off in some distant forests, one makes a long note, then another takes a longer note and then many others join in at same time. I would swear there are hundreds tucked away deep in the crevices of my right ear and brain. I tell you what, them sumbitche's, make this seem like a torture to me.
Other symptoms I would like to share is first of all, is this omni-present nausea and it's ways of disrespect to me, the one with the Meniere's Disease. This nausea today and at this moment reaches just above my adams apple. Burping nor medication have been any aid. There isn't anything for me to bring up today besides water and medication and as bad as I want to hurl, I think it would only piss me off because I would consider it a waste of money. I am so positive that the medications in my stomach at this moment and at their prices would have bought me a mighty fine lunch. Or hell, the money could have gone towards Christmas shopping.
I am sweating and perspiring to the point of perspiration and sweat building up around my neck and stomach. As if I just came in from a brisk walk about. Right. I feel as if I am wearing a cap of perspiration which sometimes feels like a net of the cafe` sort. All of which is taking place in this lodge which is at 70 degrees. All windows are wide open and I am enjoying the change in weather. My skin and Spirit's would enjoy it more if it wasn't for so much being stirred up in my brains and stomach.
The dizziness I am experiancing is the sort that feels at eye level and is a rotating dizzy. Like a slow drive round and around a Turn About. Frustrating is the only word I can think of at the moment. Just damned frustrating. Today, I use both my quad cane and the walls to get from here to there. As much as I would enjoy being out of doors, I know that I am at high risk for a fall today AND even though I would rather fall onto my lawn, my rather large ass will remain indoors today...
...am learning to listen, you see? Or should I ask, you hear? No, you read?
Word. Yes. Oui. Si. Mmmmkay?
p.s. I don't want any damned falls. Have you ever had a dream where you felt as if you were falling? If any yes's - then that's the feeling inside the gut when I fall. There have been too times when a fall just up's and happens and hell yes, there have been a couple of times I have screamed.
So what? Falling's a Bitch. Alright then...
Love to all Relations! Love, peace and more peace.
I have an urgency to share with you the sounds that I have been listening to and one of which in particular is quite stunning. The stunning sounds occured yesterday afternoon shortly after I awoke from a sleep. I was with the belief that I was hearing and listening to either the pulse of Earth Mother or the beat of a Pow Wow drum. A steady and forthright beat. Very distinguishable versus all other sounds I have had over the last few years. Of which I do not minimize in the least, but there was something sure and very real going on in my Deaf Left ear yesterday. I recently made comment of contemplating on the sounds, well this is exactly what I did. I listened intensely and contemplated on the sounds of Earth Mother's Pulse or the Pow Wow drum. I laid in bed for what seemed to be three quarter of an hour and listened...
...until the sound gave way to a different and familiar sound. The ole faithful beep's. Oh, please. I wonder, if it wasn't for these beeps, my Left Deaf Ear would be truly a Deaf Left Ear. Seemingly originating from a distant satellite as it travels through the outer reaches of our atmosphere. It does not go beep-beep-beep, but rather like this, beeeep... beeeeeeeeeeeeeep.....beep........beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep....beeeeeeeeep.
The "........." indicates moments of silence.
Of the two sounds, I prefer the beats of Mother Earth's Heart Beat or the beat of the Pow Wow drum. It was a steady beat, sure and most of all familiar to my mind and Spirit's.
My right Hard of Hearing ear is hard of hearing today. Earlier, there was the sounds of cicadas. As off in some distant forests, one makes a long note, then another takes a longer note and then many others join in at same time. I would swear there are hundreds tucked away deep in the crevices of my right ear and brain. I tell you what, them sumbitche's, make this seem like a torture to me.
Other symptoms I would like to share is first of all, is this omni-present nausea and it's ways of disrespect to me, the one with the Meniere's Disease. This nausea today and at this moment reaches just above my adams apple. Burping nor medication have been any aid. There isn't anything for me to bring up today besides water and medication and as bad as I want to hurl, I think it would only piss me off because I would consider it a waste of money. I am so positive that the medications in my stomach at this moment and at their prices would have bought me a mighty fine lunch. Or hell, the money could have gone towards Christmas shopping.
I am sweating and perspiring to the point of perspiration and sweat building up around my neck and stomach. As if I just came in from a brisk walk about. Right. I feel as if I am wearing a cap of perspiration which sometimes feels like a net of the cafe` sort. All of which is taking place in this lodge which is at 70 degrees. All windows are wide open and I am enjoying the change in weather. My skin and Spirit's would enjoy it more if it wasn't for so much being stirred up in my brains and stomach.
The dizziness I am experiancing is the sort that feels at eye level and is a rotating dizzy. Like a slow drive round and around a Turn About. Frustrating is the only word I can think of at the moment. Just damned frustrating. Today, I use both my quad cane and the walls to get from here to there. As much as I would enjoy being out of doors, I know that I am at high risk for a fall today AND even though I would rather fall onto my lawn, my rather large ass will remain indoors today...
...am learning to listen, you see? Or should I ask, you hear? No, you read?
Word. Yes. Oui. Si. Mmmmkay?
p.s. I don't want any damned falls. Have you ever had a dream where you felt as if you were falling? If any yes's - then that's the feeling inside the gut when I fall. There have been too times when a fall just up's and happens and hell yes, there have been a couple of times I have screamed.
So what? Falling's a Bitch. Alright then...
Love to all Relations! Love, peace and more peace.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Norway, Please Reconsider?
Dearest Brethren of Norway,
My name is Mario. I live in Tampa, Florida. I beg your Nation's pardon, I simply wish to provide a point of view of a simple One, from across this Atlantic Ocean.
I understand the politic's of "For", the death penalty and the "against", the death penalty. We have same issues and debates here in The United States Of America...
...but, telling the world that because your government say's, He-Who-Massacred-Your-Youth is mad and or insane, renders him excluded from the death penalty...
..."IS", in it's very twisted approach, a type/sort/form of madness within those very words. Insane? Madness?
Really, Norway?
"He-Who-Massacred-Your-Youth", butchered the children and youthful ones, he slaughtered fellow Earth Mate's. He bombed, shot, and gunned down as prey someone's child. Slaughtering the many Innocent One's, and forever altering the lives of their family's - their friend's - their "Circle of Life". Altered their Nation and those of us out here who have respect for the Kindred of Norway. I feel today the same horror as when he walked with a purpose to kill. To kill? To slaughter? And be permitted to live, as if?
I have permitted this to forever alter the way I think about the death penalty. I am more confidant now, than ever before this massacre, that when the Police/FBI/CIA/KGB/Sheriff/Deputy/Officials/Border Patrol/Coast Guard, etc., have a smoking gun in the hand of one who has committed such a massacre, I mean 77 people were murdered...
...77 Kindred Folk...
This is the dreadful person with said smoking gun in hand and the blood of dozens on his clothes. He is automaticly "guilty" of said crimes. Period.
His purpose was intended to do just what the word massacre imply's and defines...
...he used innocents as human target practice...
...he slaughtered children and butchered our youth, our fellow Human's.
This man planned and pre-planned and master-minded this display of total disregard for human life. So finely did he plan this massive attack, that he was permitted to dispatch each individual as he pleased . Going as far as to "cut off" any form of escape.
No Norway, this person had the smoking gun in his hand. He is guilty.
I am a simple One across this giant pond. I am the father of two beautiful daughters and I do my best when I communicate to provide a different point of view. I have seen photographs of this individual - in every photo his eye's betray him. He is not mad nor is he insane...
...the smile he wears on his face is his spit at the feet of them who govern the beautiful Nation of Norway.
May God Bless The Wonderful People of Norway.
Norway, please reconsider?
My name is Mario. I live in Tampa, Florida. I beg your Nation's pardon, I simply wish to provide a point of view of a simple One, from across this Atlantic Ocean.
I understand the politic's of "For", the death penalty and the "against", the death penalty. We have same issues and debates here in The United States Of America...
...but, telling the world that because your government say's, He-Who-Massacred-Your-Youth is mad and or insane, renders him excluded from the death penalty...
..."IS", in it's very twisted approach, a type/sort/form of madness within those very words. Insane? Madness?
Really, Norway?
"He-Who-Massacred-Your-Youth", butchered the children and youthful ones, he slaughtered fellow Earth Mate's. He bombed, shot, and gunned down as prey someone's child. Slaughtering the many Innocent One's, and forever altering the lives of their family's - their friend's - their "Circle of Life". Altered their Nation and those of us out here who have respect for the Kindred of Norway. I feel today the same horror as when he walked with a purpose to kill. To kill? To slaughter? And be permitted to live, as if?
I have permitted this to forever alter the way I think about the death penalty. I am more confidant now, than ever before this massacre, that when the Police/FBI/CIA/KGB/Sheriff/Deputy/Officials/Border Patrol/Coast Guard, etc., have a smoking gun in the hand of one who has committed such a massacre, I mean 77 people were murdered...
...77 Kindred Folk...
This is the dreadful person with said smoking gun in hand and the blood of dozens on his clothes. He is automaticly "guilty" of said crimes. Period.
His purpose was intended to do just what the word massacre imply's and defines...
...he used innocents as human target practice...
...he slaughtered children and butchered our youth, our fellow Human's.
This man planned and pre-planned and master-minded this display of total disregard for human life. So finely did he plan this massive attack, that he was permitted to dispatch each individual as he pleased . Going as far as to "cut off" any form of escape.
No Norway, this person had the smoking gun in his hand. He is guilty.
I am a simple One across this giant pond. I am the father of two beautiful daughters and I do my best when I communicate to provide a different point of view. I have seen photographs of this individual - in every photo his eye's betray him. He is not mad nor is he insane...
...the smile he wears on his face is his spit at the feet of them who govern the beautiful Nation of Norway.
May God Bless The Wonderful People of Norway.
Norway, please reconsider?
Monday, November 28, 2011
Meniere's and The Sleep Queue
Am still in The Sleep Queue...
...fighting off the sleep and am knowing damned well it's that I'm in the queue. Am very much aware and familiar with this fork on My Path. I've walked this queue before and have a flutter-in-my-heart confidance knowing I will rejoin My Path up the Trail a bit or few. In the past twenty four hours have slept and committed eighteen of them to Dream World.
One of the worms that lives between my scalp and skull just wiggled about.
I am having an uncomfortable day with the Meinere's. My nausea is resting right below my throat and has been very present today. I tasted what my medications tastes like earlier and have had the urge to puke. I am dizzy. The sweats and perspirations have been present as long as I have been awake...
...even with all of the window's here in the House of Seven Window's wide open, I sweat and perspire. Even with this cool breeze that blows through the Lodge from the North East and passes the scents of burning pine and evergreens. The Wind and the Rain pass the lodge by as I softly send prayer Blessing's to All Relations.
At this moment my Deaf Left Ear is busy with the sounds of the street wrecker or cement buster. One of the tools of working on the side walks and streets. Except these sound loud at first then trail off to a silence, then it begins again and again. I very much can not describe the sound in words.
Anyway's, it's in here and the noise makes it difficult to concentrate. Espeacially when my hard of hearing right ear is busy with crickets, locust and cicadas. And yes, they're loud...
...the non-hearing in my deaf left ear just gave off a loud roaring sound.
Damned crickets...
So, I do suppose I have learned to listen to my body, more now than ever before in my entire time here on this gentle orb we call Earth Mother. Compared to the other planets we have but a small piece of this massive universe to love and maintain. I have often said I am glad I was born when I was because I am tired of seeing and reading and hearing about what we have done or are doing to our Earth Mother. My Mother Earth. Feeling this, as I mourn the loss of my Earth Mother before either one of us has crossed. Weird yes? Maybe, but it is this space for loving and peaceful stuff that is alive between my ears. Sometimes it even seem's much larger than this Universe. In my simple mind, there is no limit to what the Universe is in my skull. Because, you see, I believe it is necessary to occupy My mind, with the gifts of reading, thinking, mediatating, crying, silence, music and even contemplations on the noise's and sound's going on and off in my ears.
I must keep this passion alive, this exhile has changed me into a me, I never saw coming, but here I am. I am that I am.
This capture's a snap shot of a moment in time.
...fighting off the sleep and am knowing damned well it's that I'm in the queue. Am very much aware and familiar with this fork on My Path. I've walked this queue before and have a flutter-in-my-heart confidance knowing I will rejoin My Path up the Trail a bit or few. In the past twenty four hours have slept and committed eighteen of them to Dream World.
One of the worms that lives between my scalp and skull just wiggled about.
I am having an uncomfortable day with the Meinere's. My nausea is resting right below my throat and has been very present today. I tasted what my medications tastes like earlier and have had the urge to puke. I am dizzy. The sweats and perspirations have been present as long as I have been awake...
...even with all of the window's here in the House of Seven Window's wide open, I sweat and perspire. Even with this cool breeze that blows through the Lodge from the North East and passes the scents of burning pine and evergreens. The Wind and the Rain pass the lodge by as I softly send prayer Blessing's to All Relations.
At this moment my Deaf Left Ear is busy with the sounds of the street wrecker or cement buster. One of the tools of working on the side walks and streets. Except these sound loud at first then trail off to a silence, then it begins again and again. I very much can not describe the sound in words.
Anyway's, it's in here and the noise makes it difficult to concentrate. Espeacially when my hard of hearing right ear is busy with crickets, locust and cicadas. And yes, they're loud...
...the non-hearing in my deaf left ear just gave off a loud roaring sound.
Damned crickets...
So, I do suppose I have learned to listen to my body, more now than ever before in my entire time here on this gentle orb we call Earth Mother. Compared to the other planets we have but a small piece of this massive universe to love and maintain. I have often said I am glad I was born when I was because I am tired of seeing and reading and hearing about what we have done or are doing to our Earth Mother. My Mother Earth. Feeling this, as I mourn the loss of my Earth Mother before either one of us has crossed. Weird yes? Maybe, but it is this space for loving and peaceful stuff that is alive between my ears. Sometimes it even seem's much larger than this Universe. In my simple mind, there is no limit to what the Universe is in my skull. Because, you see, I believe it is necessary to occupy My mind, with the gifts of reading, thinking, mediatating, crying, silence, music and even contemplations on the noise's and sound's going on and off in my ears.
I must keep this passion alive, this exhile has changed me into a me, I never saw coming, but here I am. I am that I am.
This capture's a snap shot of a moment in time.
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