The symptoms from Friday's Meniere's Disease vertigo attack are lingering and are difficult to fight off. The sleep beckons me to my safe place with negative results. Yesterday, I succumbed to the sleep, but my plan is to fight it off, as a brave Big Bear in battle I will fight this sleep. This sick and twisted disease has had me in so too many sad and sorry ass places over the past five or so years. My God, thirteen operations/procedures/revisits/surgeries on this struggling yet happy bobble head of mine. Each surgery presents it's own problems. Each and every Meniere's Attack presents its own set of symptoms and issues. My Good God, time after time.
So look. I have learned that if I don't get up off my back or for that matter, my back side, or from even being side-ways - there isn't anybody out here to come pick my ass up for me. Huh? Alright then. But can you feel what it is I say? Seen?
I busted a cycle today. Yes! Just an hour and one half or so ago - I set off on a walk to the corner store. Bought a beverage, had a chit chat with a dude named Chris, a truckers assistant, and then set my large ass to walking back home. I did time myself but I wasn't off to the races to begin with. Just wanted a look-and-see...
...I'm happy I busted the cycle. I haven't taken a walk about since Fall. That's a mighty long stretch right there. Bloody hell, it has been so long I can say I hadn't had a walk about since last year. Damn it, Man! Don't it make the man sound lazy? Um, yes, it could now that I see it that way. Lord, how do I not insert a "but" here? No. It as not been due to laziness, no Hun, this has been a deep and painful time for my Spirit's and I. I am hopeful that I am heading in a "busting out" state of mind and attitude because it is time to get down to get up, time to put up and shut up. Cycles are being busted wide open and it's very seriously time for me to bust a move. Come Thusday, I have an appointment with Vocational Creations. I am so stoked. Bustin' a move.
My head has not stopped spinning since I woke up this morning, at times being so bad it has been necessary for me to stop and hold on a minute. I am just getting over a bad spell - where my head throbed with the beat of my brains and the chambers of my heart. I stumbled too many times on my walk about. I am certain I must've looked like a Zombie out there. Such a fecking goof ball - walking along and stumble over invisible shit! And the dizziness causes the inner compass to maintain an unsteady course. An uncoordinated good right fellow who had to bust the feck out of home in spite of dizziness and nausea. The vomit in my mouth first thing in the morning thing. The awesomely disgusting flavors of my pretty morning pills. Did I take my morning after? I forget. But seriously, the dizziness and nausea has provided enough angst as to cause me to sweat, perspire and be all Misty. I have sweat enough on a cool afternoon to have my t-shirt stick to my chest. So manly.
But, I had to make today the day to bust the feck out! Yes, I am having the boat load of symptoms at this moment and yes, the symptoms were down right shitty during my walk about and I question the decision, but let me share this real quick. I am happy I broke this damned cycle today! What ever later brings or what ever the morrow brings, I'll cross them when I get to them. My eyes on the seventh day. Thursday. Seen.
Medicine tastes like worst that shit I think. No, I don't know what shit tastes like. But shit! You know what I mean. By the way, it case one does not know, I do not waste my medications - so I swallow. And yes, I do swallow. Nothing wasted.
Dammit I can be such a bad boy. But that's the way Ms. Jackson, likes me. It's not too often I refer to her as Janet, she and I prefer Ms. Jackson. And Ms. Jackson, calls me Mr. Sierra. As we prefer. I love it when she says to me, "you-son-of-a-bitchin'-fecking-nasty-boy!". No. Really.
Just got off the telephone with She-Who-Walks-With-The-Cherokee. Thank you so much Ma'am. I feel as if my Spirit's were bathed by your wonderful Mother Earth energies. Thank you.
The worms are active and have been consistently so for the past hour. Random wiggles too! Just up and wiggle about. No spiders today. Just the damned worms.
My right ear is listening to a field full of crickets all loud and lusting for mates! Damn it! And my Left Deaf ear is listening to a steady tick-tick-tick-tick-tick sound. Sort of like a tick tick of a second hand on a clock - but steady and quicker and louder. Louder!
Even with all these symptoms that I am having and experiencing at this instant. Even though I want so bad to be in bed at this moment and even though this structure of mine is in pain and aches from head to my dear feet...
...I'm busting the cycle again! Yes! By heading out of doors to get on my hands and knees. To Pray. To pray, prayerful prayers, prayers of thanks...
...and attend to the removal of a few weeds from my Central Park out back.
I have no more to say.
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