I try to make light of something my heart feels heavy about and sometimes it back fires like an old truck. So no making light of anything right now. I am speaking of and on the Health matter here. I share of the Meniere's Disease and subsequent processes and procedures and surgeries and am afraid that when I share some news with my doctor, it will be time again for yet another BAHA Re-Visit. The BAHA is my Bone Anchored Hearing Aid, it's abutment and implant. To re-visit it means another surgery. To 're-visit' is a simple enough term for saying "oops, we gotta go back again", kind of thing in my head. AND, my dear reader, this is not a matter of finding any fault here, or any blame. I share that if any were to be had, it would be mine for a scalp that never stops growing. I mean, God Bless you my dear Doctor, because I believe that every time you hear my name you let a profanity pass your Christian lips. Doc. D., stop. I mean to say please, let me share with you that I am kilometers ahead of you on this piece right there. The way I look at this here is if the shoes were on the other feet, I would be the loving and caring and careful doctor with my patient and all like that, but DAMMIT MAN, what is going on with you and your bobble head? Dude? But seriously, in my heart and in my Spirit's, I am knowing that He-Who-Touched-my-Brain, and I are the Batman and Robin Duo, when it comes to a doctor and patient relationship and Team. I trust him. And, I trust our Team. I love him. And love my team to deaf there. What an awesome bunch of all sorts here, all Kindred. Blessed. Yes?
The certainty in my manner is because of something that has been going on here at the site of my implant. I really need to call 'Vonn and have her share with my doctor that there is yet another dreadful over growth of scalp at and or near my very implant. Yes, it is painful and hurts me now. Yes, it is inflamed and the area is not the colour of my ordinary beige complexion. And yes, I suspect that this has played an unsavoury roll in life the past few weeks. It has been on my scalp full of curls and this makes me wonder should I remain with my scalp shaved tight. Hey, I don't know. I speculate and consider and reconsider, but really, what can I do when life has happened and it passes me by. To come back and trip on it. Is like, "oh realllllllly?"..
...to come full circle and then almost to the date and year, to be faced with the words my one ear has heard before is unsettling on me. My body plays tricks on me. Dirty and foul tricks. Shit.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
20,075 Guests - Thank You!
Kinfolk, Kindred and Kind One's,
I am humbled to share with you that we have reached and are over 20,000 guest as of today. 20,075. to be exact...
...I continue to feel as if I am not worthy and am at a loss for words at this moment. My mind races along with my emotions as I think back and have looked over the history of this blog. Something I thought so huge at one time has brought me back down to Mars. I am humbled and I am reminded of my Humanness's. I am aware of my own Spiritual Being and of the omni-present Great Spirit. The Spirit's who dwell deeper within, where it is my Eagles fly and Bears roam. We live in the place very few have ever been and I am blessed and so forever thankful for you reading the words of a simple one. My words. I am thanking you all, for reading and visiting me in here where my Spirit's Live.
I thank you, each and every one, for taking time out of your busy day to take a peak at what's happening over on Mario's Path. By God, this still blows my mind. I thank you very much.
Relations, please do not let this sound weird, but I love you all and am indebted to every one.
I still carry a very special place for She-Who-Walks-With-Grace and her husband for coaching and guiding me until I learned to fly on my own. I love you both and am thankful you have been a part of my life. I love you four so much.
Kind One's, thank you from my Spirit's to your's. I thank you. I thank you! I thank you!
Love, peace and more peace, Mario's Path
p.s. I am full.
I am humbled to share with you that we have reached and are over 20,000 guest as of today. 20,075. to be exact...
...I continue to feel as if I am not worthy and am at a loss for words at this moment. My mind races along with my emotions as I think back and have looked over the history of this blog. Something I thought so huge at one time has brought me back down to Mars. I am humbled and I am reminded of my Humanness's. I am aware of my own Spiritual Being and of the omni-present Great Spirit. The Spirit's who dwell deeper within, where it is my Eagles fly and Bears roam. We live in the place very few have ever been and I am blessed and so forever thankful for you reading the words of a simple one. My words. I am thanking you all, for reading and visiting me in here where my Spirit's Live.
I thank you, each and every one, for taking time out of your busy day to take a peak at what's happening over on Mario's Path. By God, this still blows my mind. I thank you very much.
Relations, please do not let this sound weird, but I love you all and am indebted to every one.
I still carry a very special place for She-Who-Walks-With-Grace and her husband for coaching and guiding me until I learned to fly on my own. I love you both and am thankful you have been a part of my life. I love you four so much.
Kind One's, thank you from my Spirit's to your's. I thank you. I thank you! I thank you!
Love, peace and more peace, Mario's Path
p.s. I am full.
My Health and Liberation, Viva Le Revolution!
I have sat here crying for I am not sure how long now. My center is sad and questions; "what is it that is wrong"?. "Why must you cry so much, Sir?". This state of despairs at this moment, would not permit me to spit out a logical answer, neither at the moment could I share a rational answer. I simply sit here and cry...
...there seems to be a mass void in my chest - almost as if I have had innards removed and now there is only empty space.
I and my Spirit's hurt not having my wife with me when I need her most - like now when I desperately need a hug. As this, hurts my Spirit's deep within me, to where my Eagles and Bears live, is to not have my daughters near me. I miss and love these three Women of my life more than I might imagine to could express. My love and respect for them transcends the bounds of distance and the quickness of passing time. Love and sadness issues are of the matter for me. I see.
The prospects of no reunion in Cherokee, very truly haunts me to no end. My heart, my eyes, my lungs and feet, and most of all my Spirit's are mourning. There really isn't any more I might say about that subject right there. I am in mourning. Yes. From deep within this Southerner's Big Gimpy Heart of mine, I am haunted...
...even this skin on my finger's mourn. My left eye goes droopy because this is what happens when I cry. My eyes would love to see and let my minds embrace the sight of the mountains where them who came before me roamed. Where it is that Kinfolk from both White and Red blood intermingled. Where it is my Kin loved. Fought? Yes. Where it is my Kinfolk lived, died and are buried. Oh, my dear Cherokee, how I wish to be with thee.
What's a fifty three year old lonely orphaned mixed blooded gimp to do, but cry?
As I have cried for the revolution within this skin, the losses and the victories that come with battle after battle against my health and the "emotional drains". Them and those with toxic medicine are unhealthy to be with. Their emotional leach sucking lips drain the very emotions from mine. As such, I feel as if this has torn my innards apart and against my self and my history, and now it is time to take care of self. You see, this is a War that I have decided to continue to fight. This is by no means a new War or battles. My history has been to let them who enjoy the amusement of abuse, whether it be emotional or physical have their way with their words and their ways. No mas, eh? In my thoughts, I see the gains far out weigh the costs. Seen.
This revolution within my skin has and have liberated my selves from many who were once Kinfolk and Kindred in my Circle. Many were of the Blood, but I have learned many, many lessons over this most recent history. I have learned this not too late in life and knowing that what I do and have done is the right thing to do, keeps me going and alive. Yes, there may be a minute touch of blue when it comes to one or two, but the weight of what felt like bails of hay laid upon my chest has been removed. And oh, so liberating!
Liberation is something that once inhaled, is a blessing and becomes the memories that cling to the inside of my brains and lungs. Inside my skin.
Yes, I am refreshed and am glad about this. Thank you Kind One for being here and reading.
Viva Le Revolution!
...there seems to be a mass void in my chest - almost as if I have had innards removed and now there is only empty space.
I and my Spirit's hurt not having my wife with me when I need her most - like now when I desperately need a hug. As this, hurts my Spirit's deep within me, to where my Eagles and Bears live, is to not have my daughters near me. I miss and love these three Women of my life more than I might imagine to could express. My love and respect for them transcends the bounds of distance and the quickness of passing time. Love and sadness issues are of the matter for me. I see.
The prospects of no reunion in Cherokee, very truly haunts me to no end. My heart, my eyes, my lungs and feet, and most of all my Spirit's are mourning. There really isn't any more I might say about that subject right there. I am in mourning. Yes. From deep within this Southerner's Big Gimpy Heart of mine, I am haunted...
...even this skin on my finger's mourn. My left eye goes droopy because this is what happens when I cry. My eyes would love to see and let my minds embrace the sight of the mountains where them who came before me roamed. Where it is that Kinfolk from both White and Red blood intermingled. Where it is my Kin loved. Fought? Yes. Where it is my Kinfolk lived, died and are buried. Oh, my dear Cherokee, how I wish to be with thee.
What's a fifty three year old lonely orphaned mixed blooded gimp to do, but cry?
As I have cried for the revolution within this skin, the losses and the victories that come with battle after battle against my health and the "emotional drains". Them and those with toxic medicine are unhealthy to be with. Their emotional leach sucking lips drain the very emotions from mine. As such, I feel as if this has torn my innards apart and against my self and my history, and now it is time to take care of self. You see, this is a War that I have decided to continue to fight. This is by no means a new War or battles. My history has been to let them who enjoy the amusement of abuse, whether it be emotional or physical have their way with their words and their ways. No mas, eh? In my thoughts, I see the gains far out weigh the costs. Seen.
This revolution within my skin has and have liberated my selves from many who were once Kinfolk and Kindred in my Circle. Many were of the Blood, but I have learned many, many lessons over this most recent history. I have learned this not too late in life and knowing that what I do and have done is the right thing to do, keeps me going and alive. Yes, there may be a minute touch of blue when it comes to one or two, but the weight of what felt like bails of hay laid upon my chest has been removed. And oh, so liberating!
Liberation is something that once inhaled, is a blessing and becomes the memories that cling to the inside of my brains and lungs. Inside my skin.
Yes, I am refreshed and am glad about this. Thank you Kind One for being here and reading.
Viva Le Revolution!
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
By The Way
By the way,
Yes, I have changed my pass words.
And have deleted your number from my telephones
and my mind and heart.
Okay, maybe I left it in one.
I never did like it when we were -
separated or apart.
I miss you.
By the way.
Yes, I have changed my pass words.
And have deleted your number from my telephones
and my mind and heart.
Okay, maybe I left it in one.
I never did like it when we were -
separated or apart.
I miss you.
By the way.
My Meniere's Disease, Today, 27 Feb., 2013
My head, neck, chest and back are moist from the sweating and perspiring I have had over the past forty five minutes or so. As in I can feel the tears of perspiration slide down my skin, front and back and am misting around this magical mystery globe attached to my neck. My bobble head with its imbalance and misguided steps. One says, "look up as you walk", another says "watch where you are going" and I do it all as I walk this path of mine. I look up and I walk each step with a purpose. There are times though when I can be fully engaged, doing well, then make a turn and fall. Or stumble, which is as horrifying as a fall because I don't know if I'm falling for sure or having a stumble. I don't know if that made any sense to you, I hope it did, because I share these words as if we were sitting in a coffee house, sipping espresso and having good talks.
I vomited my only sustenance earlier. That disgusting combo of every pill and tablet I eat for break fast every morning. I have had a huge gag situated in the center of my chest between my throat and tummy. I have tried to burp and have burped good and plenty, but this gag remains.
I have been under the influence of a state of some form of dizziness or another since I woke this morn. Some tipsy dizzy, to the having ridden with Jeff Gordan, driving 200 MPH dizzy. When this happens, there is nothing to do but wait it out. I sit or lay and listen to the sounds from within and try not to think too much about the dizziness, because I think that sometimes thinking about it - or - like acknowledging it makes it worse. Maybe I'm goofy? Wait, I am goofy. Ha! Almost forgot.
These sounds and noises have been obnoxious all of the damned day. Beeps, roars, voices in the other room, the song of six foot tall crickets...
...so, today I have listened to Native music to create some sound in my background. Native American music seems to have had the best and most soothing sounds for me. I listen to many genre's, yes, but am always brought back home to the flutes and the drums.
I have successfully fought against the sleep and slumber and as I sit here tip-tapping and gagging, I think that I could have used a slumber earlier. My entire body aches and pains as if I have been a sparring partner for my dearest Mike Tyson. From my toes all the way up to the tip of my spine and the points of pain within my ears, I hurt something bad.
Yes, there is war paint on my face. I have business to take care of. Me. So, I keep moving on.
I've no more to say.
I vomited my only sustenance earlier. That disgusting combo of every pill and tablet I eat for break fast every morning. I have had a huge gag situated in the center of my chest between my throat and tummy. I have tried to burp and have burped good and plenty, but this gag remains.
I have been under the influence of a state of some form of dizziness or another since I woke this morn. Some tipsy dizzy, to the having ridden with Jeff Gordan, driving 200 MPH dizzy. When this happens, there is nothing to do but wait it out. I sit or lay and listen to the sounds from within and try not to think too much about the dizziness, because I think that sometimes thinking about it - or - like acknowledging it makes it worse. Maybe I'm goofy? Wait, I am goofy. Ha! Almost forgot.
These sounds and noises have been obnoxious all of the damned day. Beeps, roars, voices in the other room, the song of six foot tall crickets...
...so, today I have listened to Native music to create some sound in my background. Native American music seems to have had the best and most soothing sounds for me. I listen to many genre's, yes, but am always brought back home to the flutes and the drums.
I have successfully fought against the sleep and slumber and as I sit here tip-tapping and gagging, I think that I could have used a slumber earlier. My entire body aches and pains as if I have been a sparring partner for my dearest Mike Tyson. From my toes all the way up to the tip of my spine and the points of pain within my ears, I hurt something bad.
Yes, there is war paint on my face. I have business to take care of. Me. So, I keep moving on.
I've no more to say.
Once Upon A Time
Once upon a time...
...it used to trouble me that some folks could have me cut off or blocked from life's interaction's. The all of what's the latest news's in life and on our path's. I am aware of some folks who even bar me from their social page and then, them same some folks wish to smile in my face and make jolly two faced talk with me in public places or whilst amongst other's.
I fink you get the foik away...
...you same some Folks, forget those bones you carry in your duffel bag is what karma is all about. I have seen this in life. I know what it looks like, what it smells like and what it tastes like.
When the time comes to learn, I learn. Then we go separate ways.
Now, I really don't give a shit about these same some folks - but I know that Folks feel comfortable with their talk around me. Sometimes things get said and once what has been said - has been said, one can not un-say it. Seen.
Once the words are said there is a sever of kinship. It may have taken me years and foiken years for my balls to drop, but this set right here has dropped and I don't give two shits who you are.
Once my trust has been broken or your lies played, then, well, just go...
...and please, don't go away mad, just go away.
The End
...it used to trouble me that some folks could have me cut off or blocked from life's interaction's. The all of what's the latest news's in life and on our path's. I am aware of some folks who even bar me from their social page and then, them same some folks wish to smile in my face and make jolly two faced talk with me in public places or whilst amongst other's.
I fink you get the foik away...
...you same some Folks, forget those bones you carry in your duffel bag is what karma is all about. I have seen this in life. I know what it looks like, what it smells like and what it tastes like.
When the time comes to learn, I learn. Then we go separate ways.
Now, I really don't give a shit about these same some folks - but I know that Folks feel comfortable with their talk around me. Sometimes things get said and once what has been said - has been said, one can not un-say it. Seen.
Once the words are said there is a sever of kinship. It may have taken me years and foiken years for my balls to drop, but this set right here has dropped and I don't give two shits who you are.
Once my trust has been broken or your lies played, then, well, just go...
...and please, don't go away mad, just go away.
The End
Week Old Chick Cheeping - A Meniere's Disease Sound Symptom
Kindred,
This is one of the Meniere's Disease Sound Symptom's, I pick up from daily. Every day...
...but, there is never a one chick in solitude chirping. Never one lone chick. No, never.
I hear and listen to them by the dozens, sometimes more. I pull a magic number from my ass.
There is no magic number. There is no help in eliminating this from the Deaf Ear. I know.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Dearest Kind One's, Some Fantastic News, 20,000 Comes Soon!
Dearest Kind One's,
I do have some brilliant news this evening. As I sit here tip-tapping at full speed ahead, our special place here, Meniere's Disease, Mario's Path, is forty nine Guests from reaching 20,000 Guests. I am flabbergasted! I mean, soon there will be that mystic number that represents every person who ever stopped by for a brief look and see of me and my way's. Twenty thousand..
...yeah, I know I have an eccentric twist on life and day's here on Earth Mother. My twist is simply to approach My Path and Life with as much gusto as I can humanly muster. There are days and times when my systems do not cooperate, but there are the days that I get up and keep on truckin'. When I have the systems issues, my body and mind, I get to that bridge then.
20,000 in numbers seem like so many to me. Seems like so much. My Dear God, Thank You.
I remember talking once and giving My Path until Summer to reach twenty thousand. At this rate, we may be in the mid twenty thousands and speaking of which, from this fantastic moment on, we will celebrate Guests, readers, and I, as we reach every five thousand Guests.
There has been a something special going on here. I wouldn't have this opportunity without the all of you here. I am ever so grateful to each and every one of you. Your eyes have read over what has been shared from within my Spirit's and travels over the same words I have read and or spoken aloud. Oh, yes! What superb blessings indeed!
Once we do reach the twenty thousandth mark, I will announce and we will celebrate!
Until then...
...love, peace and more peace, me
I do have some brilliant news this evening. As I sit here tip-tapping at full speed ahead, our special place here, Meniere's Disease, Mario's Path, is forty nine Guests from reaching 20,000 Guests. I am flabbergasted! I mean, soon there will be that mystic number that represents every person who ever stopped by for a brief look and see of me and my way's. Twenty thousand..
...yeah, I know I have an eccentric twist on life and day's here on Earth Mother. My twist is simply to approach My Path and Life with as much gusto as I can humanly muster. There are days and times when my systems do not cooperate, but there are the days that I get up and keep on truckin'. When I have the systems issues, my body and mind, I get to that bridge then.
20,000 in numbers seem like so many to me. Seems like so much. My Dear God, Thank You.
I remember talking once and giving My Path until Summer to reach twenty thousand. At this rate, we may be in the mid twenty thousands and speaking of which, from this fantastic moment on, we will celebrate Guests, readers, and I, as we reach every five thousand Guests.
There has been a something special going on here. I wouldn't have this opportunity without the all of you here. I am ever so grateful to each and every one of you. Your eyes have read over what has been shared from within my Spirit's and travels over the same words I have read and or spoken aloud. Oh, yes! What superb blessings indeed!
Once we do reach the twenty thousandth mark, I will announce and we will celebrate!
Until then...
...love, peace and more peace, me
Damn It! Tears Have No Purpose Here, Damn It!
Two days of life went swiftly by - like the mite that falls off the wing of a humming bird -
- in flight -
- time has passed me by.
As if I were in a coma - or on a holidays away - so swift it went by - it was a fright.
I say - I ask - how much further? How much more? I ask.
To myself. As I cry and the tears slide down the inside of my face.
So many tears - I fear - were spent on wrong way - in the wrong place.
The tears - have no purpose here - he wasn't true.
Yes - I am scared and yes - I am sad and yes - I am so very blue.
But - I bet - I am in a better - spot.
For, I would - much rather have a - speck in my eye -
- and work my heart to deaf as I try and try and tried.
Having known - I have lived - knowing I whispered - knowing I have screamed -
- I am here! You hear? I am here! But - your ears are broken -
- you can not hear - I love you. I love you. I loved you.
Your eyes blind - you can not see what time has done to we.
- in flight -
- time has passed me by.
As if I were in a coma - or on a holidays away - so swift it went by - it was a fright.
I say - I ask - how much further? How much more? I ask.
To myself. As I cry and the tears slide down the inside of my face.
So many tears - I fear - were spent on wrong way - in the wrong place.
The tears - have no purpose here - he wasn't true.
Yes - I am scared and yes - I am sad and yes - I am so very blue.
But - I bet - I am in a better - spot.
For, I would - much rather have a - speck in my eye -
- and work my heart to deaf as I try and try and tried.
Having known - I have lived - knowing I whispered - knowing I have screamed -
- I am here! You hear? I am here! But - your ears are broken -
- you can not hear - I love you. I love you. I loved you.
Your eyes blind - you can not see what time has done to we.
The Re-Education Of Mario?
I am not aware of how much time I have until the medicinal cocktail I just ingested kicks in, so for now, I'll share some of the Meniere's related rubbish that has surfaced today. In between sleeps, I have vomitted medicine from my tummy. I have sweat off and on today as if it were hot out and it was not. I have been dizzy with a dull head sensation as if hung over from a bad night out...
...and I wish to share how I feel about where my New Team Mates and I are heading in with my re-development. The Re-Education of Mario? A Life Time of Rehabilitation, in some form, one way or another. The World According To Mario. The Re-birth Of Pearl? For shits sake, I'm not too sure how it is I could feel and think so differently about where I am this evening versus one week ago tonight. The build up and sputtering anticipation for the gathering with She-With-Many-Names and the bonus of meeting Doctor Good Fellow.
I made comment earlier today about a new tablet I am eating these days. Um, I think this damned thing has relaxed my neck, cervical spine and muscles, my shoulders and muscles and the brains so well that pains are rising from same area, but on the other side of neck. The tablet looks very much like another in my latest list of medications. So too similar I will have to use caution when taking on or the other.
She-With-Many-Names, Doctor Good Fellow and I await the approval from the insurance company and then there will be a series of Botox injections into my scalp, my neck and left broad shoulder. As some of my Readers may know, I relish this activity. Not so much the addition of more pills and more injections, but damn, something is being done and we are conducting business and experiments. We are moving forward with a Patient Business Plan with respects to what it is I am dealing with. Knowing that now, my dear wife is aware of just what it has been that I have been going through...
...going through, for how many years of un-necessary pain and misery. My God, You know I stopped talking about this just to get folks off my back about it and besides, my former Team Mates had no direction. No purpose for occupying my time, health and money spent on sub par clinical and or medical direction and patient care and attention. I see now, why so many of the staff have left here. I am a patient who had enough of the hurry up and do nothing shit. The office manager is an Oxen Ass Hole. I feel sorry for them who have to listen to his sorry ass every day. Tisk, tisk, tisk. As far as the doctor, this is something that has been a matter of discussion in the past on many an occasion. It was a decision that was made easy by He-Who, referred me.
In Our first visit, She-With-Many-Names and Dr. Good Fellow studied me, read the completed multi page application to the KGB and had in place a direction for me to look forward to. A Plan of Action. Talks of big things to come. Different approaches on how we might bust up the matter. There being news of yet another implant within the next year or so was a surprise. Hello? Then this being an implant before the one I was expecting to have first sooner or later. Huh? Alright.
I have no more to say.
...and I wish to share how I feel about where my New Team Mates and I are heading in with my re-development. The Re-Education of Mario? A Life Time of Rehabilitation, in some form, one way or another. The World According To Mario. The Re-birth Of Pearl? For shits sake, I'm not too sure how it is I could feel and think so differently about where I am this evening versus one week ago tonight. The build up and sputtering anticipation for the gathering with She-With-Many-Names and the bonus of meeting Doctor Good Fellow.
I made comment earlier today about a new tablet I am eating these days. Um, I think this damned thing has relaxed my neck, cervical spine and muscles, my shoulders and muscles and the brains so well that pains are rising from same area, but on the other side of neck. The tablet looks very much like another in my latest list of medications. So too similar I will have to use caution when taking on or the other.
She-With-Many-Names, Doctor Good Fellow and I await the approval from the insurance company and then there will be a series of Botox injections into my scalp, my neck and left broad shoulder. As some of my Readers may know, I relish this activity. Not so much the addition of more pills and more injections, but damn, something is being done and we are conducting business and experiments. We are moving forward with a Patient Business Plan with respects to what it is I am dealing with. Knowing that now, my dear wife is aware of just what it has been that I have been going through...
...going through, for how many years of un-necessary pain and misery. My God, You know I stopped talking about this just to get folks off my back about it and besides, my former Team Mates had no direction. No purpose for occupying my time, health and money spent on sub par clinical and or medical direction and patient care and attention. I see now, why so many of the staff have left here. I am a patient who had enough of the hurry up and do nothing shit. The office manager is an Oxen Ass Hole. I feel sorry for them who have to listen to his sorry ass every day. Tisk, tisk, tisk. As far as the doctor, this is something that has been a matter of discussion in the past on many an occasion. It was a decision that was made easy by He-Who, referred me.
In Our first visit, She-With-Many-Names and Dr. Good Fellow studied me, read the completed multi page application to the KGB and had in place a direction for me to look forward to. A Plan of Action. Talks of big things to come. Different approaches on how we might bust up the matter. There being news of yet another implant within the next year or so was a surprise. Hello? Then this being an implant before the one I was expecting to have first sooner or later. Huh? Alright.
I have no more to say.
Dear Folks At Goggle, Are You Saying I'm Gay?
Dear Folks At Goggle,
Hello. My name is Mario. Today is 26 February 13 and it is 1925.
It pleases me to see the adverts on hearing aids that I just saw. Superb!
I just do not know what to think about the very next site I saw you folks promoting.
A Gay Date site on Meniere's Disease, Mario's Path.
No. Really. I swear I did. Wait.
Are you saying I am Gay?
Is Google thinking I am Gay?
And say, what's this you all say?
Wouldn't this be a form of "outing" a Brother? Or a Sister?
A form of harassment. Pronounced either the British way or the American way. No matter.
Goggle, please you all, I have asked you to stop the adverts with Women. Now the boy's too?
Equal opportunity? Seen. But, stop it all please. I am not a dating service site.
Thanking you, in advance. It is me, Mario
Hello. My name is Mario. Today is 26 February 13 and it is 1925.
It pleases me to see the adverts on hearing aids that I just saw. Superb!
I just do not know what to think about the very next site I saw you folks promoting.
A Gay Date site on Meniere's Disease, Mario's Path.
No. Really. I swear I did. Wait.
Are you saying I am Gay?
Is Google thinking I am Gay?
And say, what's this you all say?
Wouldn't this be a form of "outing" a Brother? Or a Sister?
A form of harassment. Pronounced either the British way or the American way. No matter.
Goggle, please you all, I have asked you to stop the adverts with Women. Now the boy's too?
Equal opportunity? Seen. But, stop it all please. I am not a dating service site.
Thanking you, in advance. It is me, Mario
Hey Now, It Is "Share And Say It" Time!
I am in the mood for a bit of a chat.
What about a turn at "Share and Say It"? Whew! February done almost squeak by without one and that right there would have been the first time I ever forget the monthly "holla". Send out of some words, utterances and the thoughts that keep the engine going in spite of the fact that the driver may be down a spell here and there. Hey, what can I say? I am here today, yes, I slept during the day, yes, but I wonder if this is a side effect of the newest and latest medicine tab for me to eat. Yes, true I agreed. But dammit folk!
Yeah, yes, I'll move along. Maybe this is a just and good thing for me to express. Much is and has been going on in my circle and on My Path. I speculate it is time for a "Share And Say It"!
I will proceed then to share words and what it is that crosses my mind at any moment while engaged in this "Share And Tell It", while shooting from the hips. Alright, and then we're off!
1. I am numb in the head as I tip tap at my fastest twenty words per minute. (WPM)
2.Yeah, I know. I should probably cut that loose and move along. Classes come soon.
3. I sure could use a telephone call from my Ma right about now.
4. There is blue in my heart and a bit of a mystically enhancing gloom. I fight it, yet do not.
5. My very blood and pulse accept the gloom. I am okay with it.
6. I have had good fasts here in there - sprinkled with good meals that nourish and fulfill my obligation to a state of better health.
7. Sometimes I forget about the heart piece sometimes. Worried about them and forget me.
8. That's my life. You see? To hell with me.
9. I have a call to make. One that I could have made today, but did not. The morrow?
10. Time to say farewell to a group of folks who have been a part of my team.
11. Time to say hello to an awesome group of folks who have made themselves at 'home' on this Team. I like it like that. I like it like tat alot.
12. Much to do and we must operate at the say-so's of insurance company. Them folks. Fecker's.
13. I wait so patiently for Cherokee. My eye's and ear, my lungs and brains require this.
14. Like as in to bathe. Refreshing, work inside my body while relinquishing control.
15. My heart, mind, body and Spirit's within weep.
16. Afraid that this year I will not breathe in Cherokee.
17. My plate runs over with Blessings and abundance.
18. I humble my selves before you Great Spirit.
19. I am knowing that you have touched my Spirit's and you have adjusted my frequency.
20. Things had gone to far. It's going to far.
21. To be so close and yet so far drives me mad inside.
22. There is a need for ceremony. All around me, I feel the need for ceremony.
23. And for prayer. As I pray for all of my Kinfolk and Kindred, wrapped around Earth Mother.
24. My obligation? I wonder who this is that I am obligated to other than Great Spirit. Me?
25. There are times when things are better left as they are. Seen.
Seen?
Enough, and I sure do have to go. I feel as if I just had a verbal vomit and my head is sore.
I have no more to say.
What about a turn at "Share and Say It"? Whew! February done almost squeak by without one and that right there would have been the first time I ever forget the monthly "holla". Send out of some words, utterances and the thoughts that keep the engine going in spite of the fact that the driver may be down a spell here and there. Hey, what can I say? I am here today, yes, I slept during the day, yes, but I wonder if this is a side effect of the newest and latest medicine tab for me to eat. Yes, true I agreed. But dammit folk!
Yeah, yes, I'll move along. Maybe this is a just and good thing for me to express. Much is and has been going on in my circle and on My Path. I speculate it is time for a "Share And Say It"!
I will proceed then to share words and what it is that crosses my mind at any moment while engaged in this "Share And Tell It", while shooting from the hips. Alright, and then we're off!
1. I am numb in the head as I tip tap at my fastest twenty words per minute. (WPM)
2.Yeah, I know. I should probably cut that loose and move along. Classes come soon.
3. I sure could use a telephone call from my Ma right about now.
4. There is blue in my heart and a bit of a mystically enhancing gloom. I fight it, yet do not.
5. My very blood and pulse accept the gloom. I am okay with it.
6. I have had good fasts here in there - sprinkled with good meals that nourish and fulfill my obligation to a state of better health.
7. Sometimes I forget about the heart piece sometimes. Worried about them and forget me.
8. That's my life. You see? To hell with me.
9. I have a call to make. One that I could have made today, but did not. The morrow?
10. Time to say farewell to a group of folks who have been a part of my team.
11. Time to say hello to an awesome group of folks who have made themselves at 'home' on this Team. I like it like that. I like it like tat alot.
12. Much to do and we must operate at the say-so's of insurance company. Them folks. Fecker's.
13. I wait so patiently for Cherokee. My eye's and ear, my lungs and brains require this.
14. Like as in to bathe. Refreshing, work inside my body while relinquishing control.
15. My heart, mind, body and Spirit's within weep.
16. Afraid that this year I will not breathe in Cherokee.
17. My plate runs over with Blessings and abundance.
18. I humble my selves before you Great Spirit.
19. I am knowing that you have touched my Spirit's and you have adjusted my frequency.
20. Things had gone to far. It's going to far.
21. To be so close and yet so far drives me mad inside.
22. There is a need for ceremony. All around me, I feel the need for ceremony.
23. And for prayer. As I pray for all of my Kinfolk and Kindred, wrapped around Earth Mother.
24. My obligation? I wonder who this is that I am obligated to other than Great Spirit. Me?
25. There are times when things are better left as they are. Seen.
Seen?
Enough, and I sure do have to go. I feel as if I just had a verbal vomit and my head is sore.
I have no more to say.
Yes, I Have Met New Neurologist! She-With-Many-Names.
Kindest One's,
Please accept my mea culpa's for the absence the past two days...
...my innards and I feel as if we have just returned from a journey far and further away.
Since last here, I have spent way too much time asleep and or at a doctor's appointment. Yesterday, Brenda had an appointment with She-Who-Cuts-And-Snips, near mid morning and yes, She-Who, is same doctor for me. I share, I swear it's as if we're playing that old game on "The Price Is Right", them old shows with Mr. Bob Barker. Remember? Bless his heart, they had to pry his fingers from around them microphones, didn't they? Yes.
From there, Brenda took us to Tampa General Hospital, where I was provided the Blessing of meeting She-With-Many-Names. Yes! After weeks and weeks of waiting and then with the Lil' Short Blue Bus smashing the speed table last Friday, made it seem as I would meet her never. Oh yes, I believe this to be a Blessing in ways that I have not begun to experience yet...
...as of yesterday, I have a new Neurologist and a handsome young Medicine Doctor who was also a "Fellow" in title. He who has the healing hands Blessed By God. I did not say this. We were not there for that. As of yesterday, there are new data and information for me to wrap these brains around. So too much that I save this talk for another time.
For now, I really just wish to share my deepest appreciation for every person I came into contact with there at The Tampa General Hospital Rehabilitation Center. Kindred, I say so, for the Sweet Volunteer at the front desk named, She-Who-Lived-Twice, to the lady's around back, the doctors assistant's and right up to my Right Good Dear She-With-Many-Name's and Dr. Fellow. Other than the wild unkempt children running amok upfront, all was well above what I expected.
Immediate trust.
She-With-Many-Name's, has said her words and has placed coordinates into the GPS of our minds. From where I sit, I really like where we're headed...
...engage.
Please accept my mea culpa's for the absence the past two days...
...my innards and I feel as if we have just returned from a journey far and further away.
Since last here, I have spent way too much time asleep and or at a doctor's appointment. Yesterday, Brenda had an appointment with She-Who-Cuts-And-Snips, near mid morning and yes, She-Who, is same doctor for me. I share, I swear it's as if we're playing that old game on "The Price Is Right", them old shows with Mr. Bob Barker. Remember? Bless his heart, they had to pry his fingers from around them microphones, didn't they? Yes.
From there, Brenda took us to Tampa General Hospital, where I was provided the Blessing of meeting She-With-Many-Names. Yes! After weeks and weeks of waiting and then with the Lil' Short Blue Bus smashing the speed table last Friday, made it seem as I would meet her never. Oh yes, I believe this to be a Blessing in ways that I have not begun to experience yet...
...as of yesterday, I have a new Neurologist and a handsome young Medicine Doctor who was also a "Fellow" in title. He who has the healing hands Blessed By God. I did not say this. We were not there for that. As of yesterday, there are new data and information for me to wrap these brains around. So too much that I save this talk for another time.
For now, I really just wish to share my deepest appreciation for every person I came into contact with there at The Tampa General Hospital Rehabilitation Center. Kindred, I say so, for the Sweet Volunteer at the front desk named, She-Who-Lived-Twice, to the lady's around back, the doctors assistant's and right up to my Right Good Dear She-With-Many-Name's and Dr. Fellow. Other than the wild unkempt children running amok upfront, all was well above what I expected.
Immediate trust.
She-With-Many-Name's, has said her words and has placed coordinates into the GPS of our minds. From where I sit, I really like where we're headed...
...engage.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Hearing Loss, Vertigo and Facial Nerve Problems (Part 1)
This is interesting material for one who would like to have a better understanding of these issues and symptoms that are huge factors in Meniere's Disease.
I am a person with Meniere's Disease, am Single Side Deaf and Hard of Hearing. I do not have balance on the left side. I have had many operations. I have a BAHA which is a Bone Anchored Hearing Aid on the left side of my thick skull. My Dear Doctor, worked hard on this skull.
The Meniere's Disease alive in this skin has altered lives. My Good God. It altered mine. I attempt to share what it is and where I am in my life with Meniere's alive. Life happened.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Stewie!! It's Me, Mario
Dear Stewie,
Hi Ya Stewie! I miss you so damned much and have thought of you and Ced, enough that you both come visit me in Dream World. I mean, Stewie, please! I Just had to call you on this one - I left a message on your recorder at the office and with Mom at home. There is this energy thing that keeps me with you on and in my mind in life, My Path and in Dream World. My heart tells me that you already know this though. For that I am blessed. You and Ced, have always been more than friends for and to me. Having said that, and before I go much further, please may it be that all be well and are fine and healthy in my dear friends home. Blessings from The One.
Something just happened in my heart when I said home. For me, I think it is because, with you my sister Stewie, I always felt at home. I trusted you with my most inner thoughts, memories and nightmares. You knew me like very few do or ever did and I am awesomely okay with that. As if you, Ced and I and our Spirit's were all meant to be as at peace with one and another as we always have been. It is as if we bleed the same blood. In my heart, we do.
These dreams over the years, where we walk on a similar path and always with peace and at ease. Um, even though last night, I was in the middle of you and Ced debating on blinds and drapes there at the house. I wasn't stressed, neither was Ced, but Stewie, Honey Boo, you were stressing over these blinds and drapes! LOL! I didn't laugh in the dream, I promise and I remember that clear as day, but Stewie, I have laughed off and on all day today. I chose the Navajo White.
My Dearest Best Good Friend, I want you to know I think of you often. Your words and teachings continue to resonate within. I sometimes hear your voice. My Sister, the trust I have in you has always had in me wrapped in Angels Wings. I wish to share with you now Stewie, that this remains intact. Just as it always has. I miss you, I miss your daughters, the 'ole fellow' and Stewie, I'll say again, I miss you so much.
All is well, here with my family and I. I am okay dealing with the what ever's. Life. Seen?
My news is that there is much good happening. Much good news. I move forward with many plans and have had dreams of a different sort begin to take root. My boundaries Stewie, have become that as normal as breathing. I continue to work on the trust thing.
I love you still with all my heart. I love your husband, Ced my Hero! I miss your two beautiful daughters! I bet your grand one is walking and talking up stuff too! Stewie! We both ended up with two daughters! I am blessed. Please do pass along my respect, peace and much love from my dear Brenda and I.
p.s. In the dream I was also looking over the collages!
Hi Ya Stewie! I miss you so damned much and have thought of you and Ced, enough that you both come visit me in Dream World. I mean, Stewie, please! I Just had to call you on this one - I left a message on your recorder at the office and with Mom at home. There is this energy thing that keeps me with you on and in my mind in life, My Path and in Dream World. My heart tells me that you already know this though. For that I am blessed. You and Ced, have always been more than friends for and to me. Having said that, and before I go much further, please may it be that all be well and are fine and healthy in my dear friends home. Blessings from The One.
Something just happened in my heart when I said home. For me, I think it is because, with you my sister Stewie, I always felt at home. I trusted you with my most inner thoughts, memories and nightmares. You knew me like very few do or ever did and I am awesomely okay with that. As if you, Ced and I and our Spirit's were all meant to be as at peace with one and another as we always have been. It is as if we bleed the same blood. In my heart, we do.
These dreams over the years, where we walk on a similar path and always with peace and at ease. Um, even though last night, I was in the middle of you and Ced debating on blinds and drapes there at the house. I wasn't stressed, neither was Ced, but Stewie, Honey Boo, you were stressing over these blinds and drapes! LOL! I didn't laugh in the dream, I promise and I remember that clear as day, but Stewie, I have laughed off and on all day today. I chose the Navajo White.
My Dearest Best Good Friend, I want you to know I think of you often. Your words and teachings continue to resonate within. I sometimes hear your voice. My Sister, the trust I have in you has always had in me wrapped in Angels Wings. I wish to share with you now Stewie, that this remains intact. Just as it always has. I miss you, I miss your daughters, the 'ole fellow' and Stewie, I'll say again, I miss you so much.
All is well, here with my family and I. I am okay dealing with the what ever's. Life. Seen?
My news is that there is much good happening. Much good news. I move forward with many plans and have had dreams of a different sort begin to take root. My boundaries Stewie, have become that as normal as breathing. I continue to work on the trust thing.
I love you still with all my heart. I love your husband, Ced my Hero! I miss your two beautiful daughters! I bet your grand one is walking and talking up stuff too! Stewie! We both ended up with two daughters! I am blessed. Please do pass along my respect, peace and much love from my dear Brenda and I.
p.s. In the dream I was also looking over the collages!
Due To Bus Accident, Will Now Meet My New Neuorologist, She-With-Many-Names, On Monday
Kindred,
Due to the accident with the Lil' Short Blue Bus on this passed Friday, 22.02.13, I was unable to meet and greet my new neurologist, her assistants and staff members. The anticipation had been sky high and was built up to an excitement level difficult to describe. Just knowing I was finally going to receive what I am certain will be Top Of The Nation quality care and treatment...
...then, the Lil' Short Blue Bus smashed with onto the speed table and all of that happened.
I thank my Great God, for the understanding my New Team Mates had with the situation I had been driven into, literally. My new neurologist will for be named She-With-Many-Names. I may have spoken of She once or twice before. I have waited a mighty long time for this privilege. The disappoint was harsh. She-With-Many-Names, is a professor with the University of South Florida, and practices there on Tampa General Hospital Compound. My opportunity now is Monday, 25 Feb. 13. Per She-With-Many-Names, yes. This is same compound where He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, has his clinic and my Team Mates. My surgical suites here, the anesthetist and I are on first name basis, rip on each other and the "Lady's" love me...
...some were moved by my kissing my Right Good Doctor Danner's hand's after one of our surgery's. I was in recovery and coming out of another place and back into this one. I may have been under the influences of anaesthesia's, yes, but I had the clarity and understanding of what I did and was doing. By kissing my doctor's hands, I humble myself to the blessings from God and then to my doctors hands for being the only to have ever touched my brain. I have trusted him with my life and I know that he has held my life in the palms of those hands. If Folks wish to find that amusing, then let be amused. For I, this is an Honor.
He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, them there, who actually felt the energy and observed respected, understood. It is simple like that. I look forward to meeting She-With-Many-Names. Joining forces with us there on the TGH Compound. I like that. I like that alot.
Due to the accident with the Lil' Short Blue Bus on this passed Friday, 22.02.13, I was unable to meet and greet my new neurologist, her assistants and staff members. The anticipation had been sky high and was built up to an excitement level difficult to describe. Just knowing I was finally going to receive what I am certain will be Top Of The Nation quality care and treatment...
...then, the Lil' Short Blue Bus smashed with onto the speed table and all of that happened.
I thank my Great God, for the understanding my New Team Mates had with the situation I had been driven into, literally. My new neurologist will for be named She-With-Many-Names. I may have spoken of She once or twice before. I have waited a mighty long time for this privilege. The disappoint was harsh. She-With-Many-Names, is a professor with the University of South Florida, and practices there on Tampa General Hospital Compound. My opportunity now is Monday, 25 Feb. 13. Per She-With-Many-Names, yes. This is same compound where He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, has his clinic and my Team Mates. My surgical suites here, the anesthetist and I are on first name basis, rip on each other and the "Lady's" love me...
...some were moved by my kissing my Right Good Doctor Danner's hand's after one of our surgery's. I was in recovery and coming out of another place and back into this one. I may have been under the influences of anaesthesia's, yes, but I had the clarity and understanding of what I did and was doing. By kissing my doctor's hands, I humble myself to the blessings from God and then to my doctors hands for being the only to have ever touched my brain. I have trusted him with my life and I know that he has held my life in the palms of those hands. If Folks wish to find that amusing, then let be amused. For I, this is an Honor.
He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, them there, who actually felt the energy and observed respected, understood. It is simple like that. I look forward to meeting She-With-Many-Names. Joining forces with us there on the TGH Compound. I like that. I like that alot.
The Straight Story (1999) - Reprise
Kind One's,
Please know I do not prosper by sharing this on My Path. I do not own and am sharing only because I can clearly remember what this sounds like with two ears that worked...
...I speculate that with things being as they are and I moving along on this Path, I am connected more with this term, "reprise". I feel this word in my bones and please Kindred, say you know what I mean when I say that.
Life Has Happened, you see and I am living proof.
As a little side note, I haven't seen my Kid Brother in well over ten years. Last time I saw him was in the nineties. We were all so much younger then...
...there is much and many of my Spirit's swaying along, trying to dry these tears of loss. Tears of mourning. Today, in my heart, as I listened to wise words, I was wearing those shoes...
...tonight, I am not that younger thirty something year old fellow seeing this superb story of love for the first time. Today, I am nearer the age to He-Who-Traveled-Far...
...I see some of me and hear some of me and hear me when I had both ears and all of the fantastic hearing in the World! My heart. My dear heart...
...there are not too many I would do this for - me and my tricycle. I say, they who I would already know who they are. It is not necessary to recall a name. It's in the blood. seen.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Vertigo, Balance Disorder - Also Symptoms Of Meniere's Disease
Kind One's,
This is an interesting introduction to symptom's of Meniere's Disease.
I am One with Meniere's Disease. I am Single Side Deaf, Hard of Hearing and have loss of the balance on my left side. I do not own this video. I borrow this only for the exchange with the reader's of this blog, Meniere's Disease, Mario's Path. I share only for the FYI of the information shared by the Good Right Doctor.
Thank you. Peace, Mario
Could I Have Been Injured?
Kindred One's,
My right shoulder, entire right arm, hand, wrist and fingers ache and are in pain.
These symptoms are new to me. On the right side of my body, that is. The pains, aches and discomfort I am accustomed to are on the Left side of my body, "not" my right.
I consider that having been jerked about the way my body and I was, wearing the seat belt that so violently and tightly went daunt against my right shoulder, I contemplate could I have injured my shoulder in this incident I had the misfortune of being a part of. I do not know. I will see how I wake in the morning, then I will cross that bridge. I am soon to medicate from the discomfort. Between morning and now will play a roll in this decision. Could I have been injured?
My Dear Elder Mrs., called me an hour or so ago (2245). Mrs., called to thank me. She asked me how was I doing, while She and the Elder Gentleman had spent the entire time from when I was taken away in the other Lil' Short Blue Bus, until minutes before her call in the Emergency Department of a local hospital...
...dear Reader, that was from approximately 1130 this morn. I felt herded and now that I have had time to reflect, I remember this very well and clearly. Until tonight, I had not been asked about my own well fare. Not the driver and neither the rude supervisor. How odd, both saw me cry too.
The one call has been made and communications exchanged. My Dear Ma'am, called to thank me and inquire about my well being - words spoken from her mouth touched my Soul. I have not had one follow up call from the company who owns the Lil' Blue Short Bus. Maybe Monday?
God Bless you and the Elder Gentleman, Ma'am. God Bless You Both.
I have nothing else to say.
My right shoulder, entire right arm, hand, wrist and fingers ache and are in pain.
These symptoms are new to me. On the right side of my body, that is. The pains, aches and discomfort I am accustomed to are on the Left side of my body, "not" my right.
I consider that having been jerked about the way my body and I was, wearing the seat belt that so violently and tightly went daunt against my right shoulder, I contemplate could I have injured my shoulder in this incident I had the misfortune of being a part of. I do not know. I will see how I wake in the morning, then I will cross that bridge. I am soon to medicate from the discomfort. Between morning and now will play a roll in this decision. Could I have been injured?
My Dear Elder Mrs., called me an hour or so ago (2245). Mrs., called to thank me. She asked me how was I doing, while She and the Elder Gentleman had spent the entire time from when I was taken away in the other Lil' Short Blue Bus, until minutes before her call in the Emergency Department of a local hospital...
...dear Reader, that was from approximately 1130 this morn. I felt herded and now that I have had time to reflect, I remember this very well and clearly. Until tonight, I had not been asked about my own well fare. Not the driver and neither the rude supervisor. How odd, both saw me cry too.
The one call has been made and communications exchanged. My Dear Ma'am, called to thank me and inquire about my well being - words spoken from her mouth touched my Soul. I have not had one follow up call from the company who owns the Lil' Blue Short Bus. Maybe Monday?
God Bless you and the Elder Gentleman, Ma'am. God Bless You Both.
I have nothing else to say.
THIS HAPPENED TODAY: Lil' Short Blue Bus Smash The Speed Table
As the driver of the Lil' Blue Bus that had picked me up to take me to my appointment at Tampa General Hospital this morning, was driving away from a second patient pick up, he smashed onto the speed table that he could not see. The Lil' Short Blue Bus, jumped and jerked with what felt like a foot off of the surface of Earth Mother. It scared the shit out of me and if not for my seat belt would have been injured. I was the fortunate one.
The Elder gentleman who is paralyzed and confined to wheelchair had his wheelchair collapse beneath him. The front right wheel of his wheel chair broke from the smashing jolt and jerk created by the drivers collision with the speed bump. His wheel chair warped from the smash. His dear wife was very upset and her voice raised because of concern for her husband.
The driver did not know how to respond. It was almost as if there was a flat line in thought processes. I instructed the driver and dear wife on what we were to do and how we were to lift her large paralyzed husband - Blessed be, there was a Hoyer lift blanket beneath him, so on the count of three, we lifted him up into a sitting position from the reclined position that he had slid into by the force of gravity and that damned Lil' Short Blue Bus jerking, jumping and throwing us about like rag dolls. The poor man could not talk. His wife was upset and then I started crying...
...crying out loud. Like a ten year old who wanted his Mommy. Kindred, I cried out of total frustration. Not angry at all, just so sadly frustrated.
Well, yes this happened. I tried to let the Lil' Short Blue Bus Driver know that Life Happens. The poor man, looking quite contrite and my Spirit's felt bad for him. His supervisor, the one reporting to the site of smash was rude. An inconsiderate and an over-all large Spanish Ass with blemishes. He was totally rude with the Elder Mrs., and turned his back on me, a deaf and hard of hearing person. By the way, the Elder Ma'am and I exchanged our telephone numbers and addresses.
Yes, this really fucking happened today. Yes, I cried, and now I say "fuck it all".
No, I would not say "fuck it all" when some One calls me. I know they will, you see? There was just too much scatter brained and rude shit that went on in that Lil' Short Blue Bus that smashed today.
The Elder Gentleman, confined to wheelchair suffered today. As did his dear wife. God Bless.
As far as I and I, I must gain a control. These cry's and tears and fears are beginning to work my nerves to the point of more pain. I do not want to call for therapy. I just don't.
I don't know if I should say anything more at all...
The Elder gentleman who is paralyzed and confined to wheelchair had his wheelchair collapse beneath him. The front right wheel of his wheel chair broke from the smashing jolt and jerk created by the drivers collision with the speed bump. His wheel chair warped from the smash. His dear wife was very upset and her voice raised because of concern for her husband.
The driver did not know how to respond. It was almost as if there was a flat line in thought processes. I instructed the driver and dear wife on what we were to do and how we were to lift her large paralyzed husband - Blessed be, there was a Hoyer lift blanket beneath him, so on the count of three, we lifted him up into a sitting position from the reclined position that he had slid into by the force of gravity and that damned Lil' Short Blue Bus jerking, jumping and throwing us about like rag dolls. The poor man could not talk. His wife was upset and then I started crying...
...crying out loud. Like a ten year old who wanted his Mommy. Kindred, I cried out of total frustration. Not angry at all, just so sadly frustrated.
Well, yes this happened. I tried to let the Lil' Short Blue Bus Driver know that Life Happens. The poor man, looking quite contrite and my Spirit's felt bad for him. His supervisor, the one reporting to the site of smash was rude. An inconsiderate and an over-all large Spanish Ass with blemishes. He was totally rude with the Elder Mrs., and turned his back on me, a deaf and hard of hearing person. By the way, the Elder Ma'am and I exchanged our telephone numbers and addresses.
Yes, this really fucking happened today. Yes, I cried, and now I say "fuck it all".
No, I would not say "fuck it all" when some One calls me. I know they will, you see? There was just too much scatter brained and rude shit that went on in that Lil' Short Blue Bus that smashed today.
The Elder Gentleman, confined to wheelchair suffered today. As did his dear wife. God Bless.
As far as I and I, I must gain a control. These cry's and tears and fears are beginning to work my nerves to the point of more pain. I do not want to call for therapy. I just don't.
I don't know if I should say anything more at all...
Clint Black- A Better Man
Dearest Kind One's,
This is a favorite song of mine from many years ago. Back when with both ears I would listen and sing out loud driving about town and on our trips to Cherokee. The music has always touched the beat of the drum in my heart. These words are something that have never meant more to me than they do today.
Being one who is deaf and hard of hearing, I know that once I do lose my hearing this is one way that I will be able to enjoy this song and so many other's. I appreciate the Folks who placed this into lyrics. These are some awesome lyrics and a message that could be interpreted in so many ways. I know that for me, this song has always meant something. In the past, these words would go this way and or work like that way and as if rolling along near by. As if all the while in sync with my life.
Well, here I sit and I don't want to cry any more. So I'll say, I have listened to She-With-Wise-Ways and have been counseled. Today, I know these words mean something bitter sweet and brute fully honest in my heart. I am sad, yes and my heart does ache...
...still, "I'm leavin' here a better man, knowing you this way, things I couldn't do before, now I know I can. Yes, I'm leavin' here a better man.
Oh, My Dear Ma'am, Thank You, No More Tears
Dear Reader's,
These words I share below were written last night. Please know that I have received counsel and am in a better place right at the moment. Last night was tough. Bad. As in cry and sob by myself , bad.
Today, my shoes feel a bit differently and I feel as if I am a better man than I was just twenty four hours ago.
My heart aches and is feeling bad, but these ears and Spirit's have listened.
For now, I am okay. No more tears.
Love, Mario
p.s. Thank you, My Dear Ma'am. From my Spirit's to yours, thank you. I love you too.
*************************************************************************************************
Oh, My Dear Ma'am,
These words I share below were written last night. Please know that I have received counsel and am in a better place right at the moment. Last night was tough. Bad. As in cry and sob by myself , bad.
Today, my shoes feel a bit differently and I feel as if I am a better man than I was just twenty four hours ago.
My heart aches and is feeling bad, but these ears and Spirit's have listened.
For now, I am okay. No more tears.
Love, Mario
p.s. Thank you, My Dear Ma'am. From my Spirit's to yours, thank you. I love you too.
*************************************************************************************************
Oh, My Dear Ma'am,
I just got in from therapy and more testing.
I would have loved to have had a nice spell with you and God, knows I need a hug something ugly. I so do love the four of you.
My Good God, what have I done?
My Good God, what have I done?
You see Ma'am, I do know that separation and abandonment issues have always been too hard for me. You mention frequency, which is off in the distance close and the strong heart does endure much while the mind plays tricks. I have. I know. Seen. This is deeper than a frequency thing, Ma'am. And yet, it's also so much easier than a simple matter of frequency. Yes.
To shut a "friend" out is an all together different scene. I feel as if the calls I have made since the last I saw Sir - the last time I spoke with Sir, was with you on 26 December 13 or right there about Lil' Dude's birthday - have been ignored and I as a friend (?) have been shunned and shut out. So no, so as far as frequency, frequency was not a factor because there wasn't frequency.
No, return calls.
No return texts.
No return messages.
No sign of appreciation for the way I embraced his new pursuit in life.
No respect for the way I love his wife and son...
...and the one named Grace, who dwells with in you.
I don't take Kinship lightly Ma'am and neither do I drop the those three words lightly. Never have, never will. But Ma'am - it takes TWO. In prayer and in love...
...One running solo, time and time again goes cold when the other is not as a participating member of a Kinship. His awesome hugs, the words, the story's and the I love you too's. His words?
...One running solo, time and time again goes cold when the other is not as a participating member of a Kinship. His awesome hugs, the words, the story's and the I love you too's. His words?
Those calls, texts, messages, being ignored, shunned and shut out adds up, you know?
And eventually, these cut to the white meat.
I love your husband very damned much Ma'am. He is one of a very few I would have ever taken a bullet for. You know he has a pretty damned good idea of who I am and he also knows how to touch my heart with his words and actions. Yes, I know. I know.
Maybe, I let it this get too deep. Let all of this burden my mind and heart of mine. Maybe.
Oh, My Good God, what have I done?
I love your husband very damned much Ma'am. He is one of a very few I would have ever taken a bullet for. You know he has a pretty damned good idea of who I am and he also knows how to touch my heart with his words and actions. Yes, I know. I know.
Maybe, I let it this get too deep. Let all of this burden my mind and heart of mine. Maybe.
Oh, My Good God, what have I done?
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Enough!
Enough with you and enough with your I love you too's.
Enough with the lies you say to my face. Enough with them you've said behind my back.
It took enough and too much of this to happen for me to finally get back on track.
I have listened to you and your two faced being for way too long.
How was I to know that a friendship could be so wrong.
Enough with the tears.
Enough with the fears.
The time has come to snip this shit loose; you and your sad crazy making way.
Enough of me being such a fool's fool and following you, blindly, every day.
I am sorry for myself, that I permitted you into my life. I am sorry for believing in you.
So, now you go play. Be with them who believe in your bullshit, your fakeness and lies.
You have reminded me what it's like to be associated with one so toxic and I do thank you.
I have been mourning the loss of what I thought was a true, good and righteous friendship.
What a fool I've been.
Please forgive me, Young Man, but you've a lot to learn.
Enough!
Enough with the lies you say to my face. Enough with them you've said behind my back.
It took enough and too much of this to happen for me to finally get back on track.
I have listened to you and your two faced being for way too long.
How was I to know that a friendship could be so wrong.
Enough with the tears.
Enough with the fears.
The time has come to snip this shit loose; you and your sad crazy making way.
Enough of me being such a fool's fool and following you, blindly, every day.
I am sorry for myself, that I permitted you into my life. I am sorry for believing in you.
So, now you go play. Be with them who believe in your bullshit, your fakeness and lies.
You have reminded me what it's like to be associated with one so toxic and I do thank you.
I have been mourning the loss of what I thought was a true, good and righteous friendship.
What a fool I've been.
Please forgive me, Young Man, but you've a lot to learn.
Enough!
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, Lady S., And Brando
Kind One's,
Today is not even near completed and I can share that since 0645, I have been on the lamb. Oh yes, folks busted me out of the lodge twice today. It is only 1619 by the way and here I sit; listening to some James Brown and tip tapping away at a maximum speed of 20 WPM. Oh Yeah! Oh please, if I haven't mentioned it, my oops. Kindred, I mean to share with you that some testing I had the last time with Lady S., over at Vocational Creations, let "us" know that my gimpy tip-tap-tap works it at a 20 words per minute and Honey's, I'm trying to say I'm okay with that. For now. Lady S., and Miss. K., with The Vocational Rehabilitation will be working me into some typing classes indirectly. Yes, and hush! I took typing in high school you all, back when we had the type writers - not this special detached key board. Huh? I know that's right! Ha!
Right. Really now, I see Lady S., tomorrow for more testing, which I am crazy excited about. I truly feel like a kid in school the night before a pop test the next morning. Oh yes, it's easy to express the reasons why it is I am so excited over simple testing in the morrow. I speculate there's a bit of a competition vibe kicking and the curiosity as well. I mean, look at how I handled the results of the testing from earlier this month. In one hand I was very cheerful about the language arts while in the other I tortured myself for days about those damned Math Sciences and figures I've never had to use once in my entire life. On any job. Managerial or other wise. Dammit man, how was I to know? Anyways, looks as if I may be able to gain some assistance on the math piece too, so I'll have a look and see. Seen?
As the reader may know, my In-Law's were here fairly early this morning for a trip to Tampa General Hospital, for a visit with He-Who-Touched-My-Brain...
(NOTE: Both of my ears have just begun to create different sounds at a loud frequency. A wowing effect. Loud noises weaving itself back and forth.)
...I don't know if I would want to ride with them, my In-Law's to Atlanta, and I am just pulling Atlanta out my ass, but with our occasional trips to and from doctors clinic, I have a splendid time listening to the two going back and forth with the this or that's. Look, I'm not really going to say this, but sometimes it seems as if I am riding in the same car as Laurel And Hardy. No, wait, Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis. Lord, let me share this right now, I sometimes see my future flash before me. I say no more and I'll say no more on this subject right here.
The visit with He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, went very well. Every staff member I came into contact with, from the Cutie-Pa-Tutti Red Head's up front, , to my audiologist Dr. B., 'Vonn, and Matt-The-Cool-Cat, both are Assistants to the Doctor's and even the Coordinator of Surgery's, stuck her head around to 'holla'. All of this love and good energy being passed around the clinic. So strong it was that other patients were touched by the smoothness and ease of gratitude in the room. And yes, He-Who-Touched-My-Brain and I had our face to face and good talk...
...and damn it yes, it was the nature of this situation and peculiar type of migraines that it should be said once again, by He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, that he feels strongly that these spasms in my face are related to the migraines. A neurogenic medication I take daily has been increased and I am to have an MRI, between now and our next visit. I have the orders and have decided to wait until next week to coordinate this trip to the University of South Florida...
...there has been plenty on my plate this week with the back-to-back-to-back appointments. I will be maxed out. I usually don't tax myself in such a way, but doctor wanted to see me today. I have been bequeathed yet another diagnosis, that being, "Facial Nerve Spasm". I celebrate, eh? And my Guest, I'm right here saying out loud, 'that's some shit, en'it?'. Whew, yes, I am. I've got to have faith in My God and He-Who-Touched-My-Brain. I just must. And oh shit, it's a tough one for me right here. To let go and let God. It seems so simple.
This is a sweet time to pass along that I'll have the opportunity to visit with my new neurologist on this Friday. I am eager to meet them who will be the newest member's of my Team. I'm so pumped! Well, what about stoked? Yes! Stoked! It is that time in life and my Path that I make things happen with this health of mine. Meeting She-With-Many-Name's, is the doctor that came highly recommended and I have gone many weeks without contact with my neurologist. I reckon working my business plan has gotten me this far. Great Spirit, knows I would never seen myself in this place one year ago today. Kindred, 365 days of Life. Just like that.
I would love to share that a good right young fellow and dear friend of mine and I were reunited today. His name has been known as Brando, so I will refer to him as such. The young brother coordinated a 'bust out' with me and we went to a coffee house to enjoy legendary beverages and most of all, legendary conversation. Brando, young brother, your heart touched mine this afternoon. I consider that our Spirit's were in company while our physical beings were having their chat. I am honored to have shared some life with you today, ole man and wish to share that I forgot how the strength of your Fire Man arms make me feel like a kid in the company of his Hero. You're something else Brando, you really are. I am blessed that our Path's crossed all of those years ago and that today, again they crossed. Imagine?
Imagine.
Today is not even near completed and I can share that since 0645, I have been on the lamb. Oh yes, folks busted me out of the lodge twice today. It is only 1619 by the way and here I sit; listening to some James Brown and tip tapping away at a maximum speed of 20 WPM. Oh Yeah! Oh please, if I haven't mentioned it, my oops. Kindred, I mean to share with you that some testing I had the last time with Lady S., over at Vocational Creations, let "us" know that my gimpy tip-tap-tap works it at a 20 words per minute and Honey's, I'm trying to say I'm okay with that. For now. Lady S., and Miss. K., with The Vocational Rehabilitation will be working me into some typing classes indirectly. Yes, and hush! I took typing in high school you all, back when we had the type writers - not this special detached key board. Huh? I know that's right! Ha!
Right. Really now, I see Lady S., tomorrow for more testing, which I am crazy excited about. I truly feel like a kid in school the night before a pop test the next morning. Oh yes, it's easy to express the reasons why it is I am so excited over simple testing in the morrow. I speculate there's a bit of a competition vibe kicking and the curiosity as well. I mean, look at how I handled the results of the testing from earlier this month. In one hand I was very cheerful about the language arts while in the other I tortured myself for days about those damned Math Sciences and figures I've never had to use once in my entire life. On any job. Managerial or other wise. Dammit man, how was I to know? Anyways, looks as if I may be able to gain some assistance on the math piece too, so I'll have a look and see. Seen?
As the reader may know, my In-Law's were here fairly early this morning for a trip to Tampa General Hospital, for a visit with He-Who-Touched-My-Brain...
(NOTE: Both of my ears have just begun to create different sounds at a loud frequency. A wowing effect. Loud noises weaving itself back and forth.)
...I don't know if I would want to ride with them, my In-Law's to Atlanta, and I am just pulling Atlanta out my ass, but with our occasional trips to and from doctors clinic, I have a splendid time listening to the two going back and forth with the this or that's. Look, I'm not really going to say this, but sometimes it seems as if I am riding in the same car as Laurel And Hardy. No, wait, Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis. Lord, let me share this right now, I sometimes see my future flash before me. I say no more and I'll say no more on this subject right here.
The visit with He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, went very well. Every staff member I came into contact with, from the Cutie-Pa-Tutti Red Head's up front, , to my audiologist Dr. B., 'Vonn, and Matt-The-Cool-Cat, both are Assistants to the Doctor's and even the Coordinator of Surgery's, stuck her head around to 'holla'. All of this love and good energy being passed around the clinic. So strong it was that other patients were touched by the smoothness and ease of gratitude in the room. And yes, He-Who-Touched-My-Brain and I had our face to face and good talk...
...and damn it yes, it was the nature of this situation and peculiar type of migraines that it should be said once again, by He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, that he feels strongly that these spasms in my face are related to the migraines. A neurogenic medication I take daily has been increased and I am to have an MRI, between now and our next visit. I have the orders and have decided to wait until next week to coordinate this trip to the University of South Florida...
...there has been plenty on my plate this week with the back-to-back-to-back appointments. I will be maxed out. I usually don't tax myself in such a way, but doctor wanted to see me today. I have been bequeathed yet another diagnosis, that being, "Facial Nerve Spasm". I celebrate, eh? And my Guest, I'm right here saying out loud, 'that's some shit, en'it?'. Whew, yes, I am. I've got to have faith in My God and He-Who-Touched-My-Brain. I just must. And oh shit, it's a tough one for me right here. To let go and let God. It seems so simple.
This is a sweet time to pass along that I'll have the opportunity to visit with my new neurologist on this Friday. I am eager to meet them who will be the newest member's of my Team. I'm so pumped! Well, what about stoked? Yes! Stoked! It is that time in life and my Path that I make things happen with this health of mine. Meeting She-With-Many-Name's, is the doctor that came highly recommended and I have gone many weeks without contact with my neurologist. I reckon working my business plan has gotten me this far. Great Spirit, knows I would never seen myself in this place one year ago today. Kindred, 365 days of Life. Just like that.
I would love to share that a good right young fellow and dear friend of mine and I were reunited today. His name has been known as Brando, so I will refer to him as such. The young brother coordinated a 'bust out' with me and we went to a coffee house to enjoy legendary beverages and most of all, legendary conversation. Brando, young brother, your heart touched mine this afternoon. I consider that our Spirit's were in company while our physical beings were having their chat. I am honored to have shared some life with you today, ole man and wish to share that I forgot how the strength of your Fire Man arms make me feel like a kid in the company of his Hero. You're something else Brando, you really are. I am blessed that our Path's crossed all of those years ago and that today, again they crossed. Imagine?
Imagine.
Coast Guard Helicopter Rescue Demo in HD - A Meniere's Sound Symptom
Kind One's,
At roughly 2200 last night, as I laid in bed with my dear wife and hound Ting Ting, I was preparing for Dream World, you see? Off in the distance I could just hear what sounded like one dozen of these helicopters approaching the lodge from Due North...
...I remember thinking that these Folks are serving their country, working and maneuver's late into the night damn it, and I thought, "geez, sure is strange for this time of night". But paid it no mind after a few seconds.
Then, after several moments, I realized the sounds were not going away, but were getting louder and then even louder. As if they had arrived to their destination loud and it had gotten so loud that I was positive there was something going on out side my walls.
I raised up from my pillow and leaned on my right elbow. My home, our Sanctuary and the preserve were all quite quiet. No, dear one's, I don't know why. It is a part of the puzzle...
...and besides, Sound Happens.
God Bless our Women and Men, serving OUR country and God Bless the U.S.A.!
5 Minutes
5 Minutes until my In-Law's get here for a trip to visit with He-Who-Touched-My-Brain. It is easy to remember by number 1 complaint today and the purpose of this visit because the left side of my face is sore and is bruised from last nights multiple spasms in my face...
...it just dawned on me that I could say, "in my face', because this is from whence this pain originates - from between my skull and tissue/skin/flesh, etc.
I am eager to see Doc., I have not seen him since mid-December and there has been so much going on with the Meniere's inside of me. The anticipation runs so high this morning that I woke up at 0645 with ease. It was like, alright boy, lets get up, do the morn norm, have had break fast and am prepped to hit the Streets of Bakersfield. No, not really Bakersfield, I just love that Rolling Stone song.
Anyways, my mom-in-law just hollered at me to inform that she and 'him downstairs' are about 5 minutes away.
My hounds bark. They are here.
Gotta go.
I have no more to say.
...it just dawned on me that I could say, "in my face', because this is from whence this pain originates - from between my skull and tissue/skin/flesh, etc.
I am eager to see Doc., I have not seen him since mid-December and there has been so much going on with the Meniere's inside of me. The anticipation runs so high this morning that I woke up at 0645 with ease. It was like, alright boy, lets get up, do the morn norm, have had break fast and am prepped to hit the Streets of Bakersfield. No, not really Bakersfield, I just love that Rolling Stone song.
Anyways, my mom-in-law just hollered at me to inform that she and 'him downstairs' are about 5 minutes away.
My hounds bark. They are here.
Gotta go.
I have no more to say.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Today's Meniere's Disease And God
Alright then,
Yes, today has been a weird one indeed. Way off base and not particularly in a good pair of shoes.
I have settled down with the sweating some. Listened to my sounds in the skull here in my quiet place and sat with my hound Ting Ting. I am now in a state of calm and with breathe. I would refer to the sweating as now a perspiring and some 'misting' about and around this Gimp Globe of mine. The dizziness is leveled off at a seven and the nausea is at my Adams apple. Knocking, but no vomit.
Dear God, thank you for helping me get back here. Amen.
I am puzzled by the continuation of the need for sleep. I am confidant that this is a Meniere's thing, yeah, I did just capitalize it, eh? But the sleep and slumber continue to play much of a roll in my day-to-day. Yes, sadly today I succumbed to the will and power of slumber and slept from 1215 until 1400. Which really, for me and my sleep isn't too damned bad. Although, I had slept plus sixteen hours between the time I was off to slumber early last evening and the time I awoke this morn. Wait, looking back at these words reflect that I am still in the Meniere's Sleep. I must relinquish control.
Dear God, when will I learn? And no, this is not a damned Whitney Houston song. Amen.
I will be visiting with He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, in the morrow. It is long overdue we do something about these muscle spasms of my face. No. I bet I didn't have these prior to Meniere's Disease. Hell, I am absolutely positive and am God Blessed certain that this is related to all of Meniere's. This shits not normal and my face remains affected by it long after the spasm has occurred. It is a good thing to know I'll see my good right doctor in the morning. Oh, and Doc., no I do not wish to debate about this being migraine's related. Okay, please. I mean, Facial Spasms?
Dear God, please let He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, know I am not there for the migraine's.
These facial spasms have created issue and pain with my left eye orb. This has also caused my face to get all gimpy and goofed up. I want to say all gimpy and fucked up, but I won't. My mouth gets to leaning to the left - as if I had a dribble mouth. My left eye looks as if I should be wearing a patch to cover it. Or maybe a condom, like my girl from TLC. (May she rest in peace)And the pain is fucking unreal! I mean, I look in the mirror and there ain't shit I can do! I have cried and moaned and looked in the mirror at what it is I don't know or understand My God!
Dear God, please Bless He-Who-Touched-My-Brain to lead me to a better place. Please God. Amen.
I have no more to say.
Amen.
Yes, today has been a weird one indeed. Way off base and not particularly in a good pair of shoes.
I have settled down with the sweating some. Listened to my sounds in the skull here in my quiet place and sat with my hound Ting Ting. I am now in a state of calm and with breathe. I would refer to the sweating as now a perspiring and some 'misting' about and around this Gimp Globe of mine. The dizziness is leveled off at a seven and the nausea is at my Adams apple. Knocking, but no vomit.
Dear God, thank you for helping me get back here. Amen.
I am puzzled by the continuation of the need for sleep. I am confidant that this is a Meniere's thing, yeah, I did just capitalize it, eh? But the sleep and slumber continue to play much of a roll in my day-to-day. Yes, sadly today I succumbed to the will and power of slumber and slept from 1215 until 1400. Which really, for me and my sleep isn't too damned bad. Although, I had slept plus sixteen hours between the time I was off to slumber early last evening and the time I awoke this morn. Wait, looking back at these words reflect that I am still in the Meniere's Sleep. I must relinquish control.
Dear God, when will I learn? And no, this is not a damned Whitney Houston song. Amen.
I will be visiting with He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, in the morrow. It is long overdue we do something about these muscle spasms of my face. No. I bet I didn't have these prior to Meniere's Disease. Hell, I am absolutely positive and am God Blessed certain that this is related to all of Meniere's. This shits not normal and my face remains affected by it long after the spasm has occurred. It is a good thing to know I'll see my good right doctor in the morning. Oh, and Doc., no I do not wish to debate about this being migraine's related. Okay, please. I mean, Facial Spasms?
Dear God, please let He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, know I am not there for the migraine's.
These facial spasms have created issue and pain with my left eye orb. This has also caused my face to get all gimpy and goofed up. I want to say all gimpy and fucked up, but I won't. My mouth gets to leaning to the left - as if I had a dribble mouth. My left eye looks as if I should be wearing a patch to cover it. Or maybe a condom, like my girl from TLC. (May she rest in peace)And the pain is fucking unreal! I mean, I look in the mirror and there ain't shit I can do! I have cried and moaned and looked in the mirror at what it is I don't know or understand My God!
Dear God, please Bless He-Who-Touched-My-Brain to lead me to a better place. Please God. Amen.
I have no more to say.
Amen.
untitled
Today has been an unpleasant day with respects to the meniere's disease, which I am contemplating the discontinuation of capitalizing the M, in Meniere's. One of the fanciful ideas I come up with every once in a while, mess around with, and then move along.
The symptoms that have molested me the worst today have been the dizziness, sweating, nausea and the constant gag mid-way up my chest to my throat. The dizziness is bad enough to have kept me in the lodge today. It feels ridiculous to feel so drunk and have had nothing to drink but water today. I feel as if I'm about to pass out and the gagging is sublime. My shirt is wet from sweating and I feel faint.
Time out.
Untitled
The symptoms that have molested me the worst today have been the dizziness, sweating, nausea and the constant gag mid-way up my chest to my throat. The dizziness is bad enough to have kept me in the lodge today. It feels ridiculous to feel so drunk and have had nothing to drink but water today. I feel as if I'm about to pass out and the gagging is sublime. My shirt is wet from sweating and I feel faint.
Time out.
Untitled
Monday, February 18, 2013
Electricity Sound Effects - Free Download, A Meniere's Sound Symptom
Dearest Kind One's,
I have finally found a perfect sound symptom of Meniere's that I could not find before. This is a very satisfactory effect for you as my Guest, might understand what it is I hear when I say I am listening to the sound waves of electricity. Well, here it is - in all of it's loud and horribly annoying frequency and sound. If I could have shoved a mic down my ear and into the chamber where these noises originate, damn it, this is the one smack dab on the head!
The durations of time spent with these sounds and noises vary very much. Sometimes maybe five or ten minutes - maybe twenty, but then there are times when this damned noise's goes on for hours at a time. It is torture that is initiated from within my own skin. No damned doubt.
If Folks knew what I hear, then maybe there would be more of an understanding. Seen.
BulI Shit, I'll Say One Day - One Day, I'll Say
At 0545 this cold morning I was awakened by the sound of an Airboat that was so loud, roaring loud and so clear, it sounded as if it were parked in my back yard, there next to my bedroom window. I sat straight up and listened for a moment or few and had to let it go. This was not the first time to hear the airboat and neither was this the first time a sound that originated from my left deaf ear stirred me from a slumber.
Speaking of slumber, I fight off the sleep today with good energy and a good fight. I am not at all feeling the desire to sleep. Although and even though I know that if I were to return to my safe place, in the coolest North West room of our lodge to lay down, I would be set adrift into another realm. The realm I refer to as Dream World. Dream World has been a combative place for me since the last Meniere's attack. Much bitterness and sadness. There is a negative influence that will be first slain and then burnt in ceremony. The Smoke setting the scent and energies up and out of this area. From near me and be removed to another place, back to the originator. I am familiar with these activities in Dream World because I have had these all of my life. When people of supposed power or an over inflated ego, betray me, cause me harm in Spirit, or affect me with their negativity in other ways, I am placed in the position to protect myself, my Spirit's and Dream World. This is my duty as a Spiritual Being.
Bull Shit, on the whole asking "whys" and boo hoo'ing shit. My eye's are opened. All three and these three see you and your simple hypocritical being. Your supposed Christian Path, while you conduct yourself in unscrupulous ways. As YOU pass judgement upon others. It is not for I to say right now. Maybe someday. By the way, there are not any more, any more's. It has been time to cut the cord and many cords have been severed since the turn of this new year. I am not done. There is much work to take care of. To you who have played with my emotions, get off.
!MY RIGHT EAR HAS JUST GONE DEAF! NO SECOND TIME! HOLD ON! OKAY!
Wait, there now, it comes back slowly. I say one day - One day, I say. Thank you Great One!
Speaking of slumber, I fight off the sleep today with good energy and a good fight. I am not at all feeling the desire to sleep. Although and even though I know that if I were to return to my safe place, in the coolest North West room of our lodge to lay down, I would be set adrift into another realm. The realm I refer to as Dream World. Dream World has been a combative place for me since the last Meniere's attack. Much bitterness and sadness. There is a negative influence that will be first slain and then burnt in ceremony. The Smoke setting the scent and energies up and out of this area. From near me and be removed to another place, back to the originator. I am familiar with these activities in Dream World because I have had these all of my life. When people of supposed power or an over inflated ego, betray me, cause me harm in Spirit, or affect me with their negativity in other ways, I am placed in the position to protect myself, my Spirit's and Dream World. This is my duty as a Spiritual Being.
Bull Shit, on the whole asking "whys" and boo hoo'ing shit. My eye's are opened. All three and these three see you and your simple hypocritical being. Your supposed Christian Path, while you conduct yourself in unscrupulous ways. As YOU pass judgement upon others. It is not for I to say right now. Maybe someday. By the way, there are not any more, any more's. It has been time to cut the cord and many cords have been severed since the turn of this new year. I am not done. There is much work to take care of. To you who have played with my emotions, get off.
!MY RIGHT EAR HAS JUST GONE DEAF! NO SECOND TIME! HOLD ON! OKAY!
Wait, there now, it comes back slowly. I say one day - One day, I say. Thank you Great One!
Sunday, February 17, 2013
60 Hours Sleep Since Friday, Meniere's, Nuerosis's, A Psychosis?
Since Friday, 15 February 2013, I have slept sixty+ hours. It has been a Meniere's Coma. Induced by yet another Meniere's attack. There were a couple of times I remember getting up to drink water while I eat my pills and tablets and would sit down for a fifteen minute of forced awareness - just to spend time with my baby daughter and my wife. It drives me sad mad when I have these huge gaps in time and chunks of life up and lost without much of any cause.
A Neurosis?
A Psychosis?
The loss of time randomly removed from my life cycle. Or is it truly this is a part of the Great Mystery that is my Life and my Path? The health bits and pieces, them bits and pieces that have had actually cut and sniped from different parts and pieces of my body. These are the bits I approve of.
I approve of sharing the emotional and psychological impacts, wars and battles, and if I were to tell you that tonight I wear my War Paint in private, it is because there have just been too many random and unnecessary racist pieces of betrayals by Folks, I thought in my Circle of Life. Things that have been said, and them things left unsaid have placed me smack dab in a place I try so hard in life to be removed from. Betrayal is an absolute. There is not a debate about the racism I have had directly and or indirectly at me, but I am made privy and made a part of reading this with the social page Face Book. There was once a friend who had made two racist remarks about the Indian Ways here in America. The last time he made a joke it pertained to Sitting Bull, and he was jovial and what not, even laughing with "hahaha's". This impacted my Path, enough so as to ensure I would not cross paths with him as much on the fb.
I am faced with an article that I shared a couple of days ago. That someone in my life who has expressed words of love and encouragement in the past has pulled the all to familiar white way of doing things. I am a big boy - you go play your white boy ways somewhere else.
And now, I have decided to remove from my peripheral, one another who makes racist remarks about the American Indian, and makes jokes that "we have the nerve to say they were not the invaders back before there were no white people here on these lands WE ALL call America". "Them's and you all's".
Folks, look, I have too often been asked why is it that I hate(?)White People. I have had friends ask me thousands of questions and thousands more about my points of view. There seems to have been a law passed that rendered my words unheard. Perhaps, yes at one time or another there have been deep rooted angers and rage due to abuses. Yes, maybe there was a hate back when I was young and scared and scarred something deep Sir. Tonight, there's really no hate at all. Simply, I speak the truths. I don't have to play mind games or play with people's emotions. I don't hate white people - for shits sake, much of my DNA is constructed by my White Ancestor's. My Mixed Bloodedness requires I speak up for all of me, you see? Because I have seen first hand what the races in my veins have done onto one and another. And then there's the history that bleeds red in my veins of what one race has perpetrated against another.
From now and forever on it shall be that it is necessary I speak up for the all of me. There is something that I learned late in life. Perhaps it was something that I tripped across but I am blessed to have foresight and the type of vison that many can not even begin to fathom. The nay sayers and them who spoke negativity upon me. Now, this all goes back to you.
I have learned to say what I have to say. I saw and see it and smell it too, the way I have been treated throughout my life here on Mother Earth. If I have something to say, I say it. I'm a grown ass man, People's. I've worked hard all my damned life to get to some lame ass point in life where I am a gimp. That's not my fucking nature. Neither is letting people of any Race or Sexual Orientation or Political Party push "their" agenda upon me because Honey, I don't have time for that and neither do I have time for you disgusting Racist, Male Chauvinistic Pig's in my Circle - least of all, my fucking peripheral. Fuck Off then.
The extreme highs and lowest of lows is what I have shared here on this blog since August 2010. In health, mind, body, and Spirit. I have shared and flayed bare my inner most haunting's and the places of my mind, Spirit's and heart. To even phantom that someone considered close, would take advantage of my Energies, my Spirit's and love, today? It so fucking reminds me of how I have been taken advantage of in the past. Yes, these betrayal's cut me like those and I don't give a shit if Folks know this now. This is off my back now. I share with you my Guests, that these issues were so near and dear to my heart, that these provoked nightmares and negativity in those sixty hours of sleep since Friday past.
A Neurosis?
A Psychosis?
The loss of time randomly removed from my life cycle. Or is it truly this is a part of the Great Mystery that is my Life and my Path? The health bits and pieces, them bits and pieces that have had actually cut and sniped from different parts and pieces of my body. These are the bits I approve of.
I approve of sharing the emotional and psychological impacts, wars and battles, and if I were to tell you that tonight I wear my War Paint in private, it is because there have just been too many random and unnecessary racist pieces of betrayals by Folks, I thought in my Circle of Life. Things that have been said, and them things left unsaid have placed me smack dab in a place I try so hard in life to be removed from. Betrayal is an absolute. There is not a debate about the racism I have had directly and or indirectly at me, but I am made privy and made a part of reading this with the social page Face Book. There was once a friend who had made two racist remarks about the Indian Ways here in America. The last time he made a joke it pertained to Sitting Bull, and he was jovial and what not, even laughing with "hahaha's". This impacted my Path, enough so as to ensure I would not cross paths with him as much on the fb.
I am faced with an article that I shared a couple of days ago. That someone in my life who has expressed words of love and encouragement in the past has pulled the all to familiar white way of doing things. I am a big boy - you go play your white boy ways somewhere else.
And now, I have decided to remove from my peripheral, one another who makes racist remarks about the American Indian, and makes jokes that "we have the nerve to say they were not the invaders back before there were no white people here on these lands WE ALL call America". "Them's and you all's".
Folks, look, I have too often been asked why is it that I hate(?)White People. I have had friends ask me thousands of questions and thousands more about my points of view. There seems to have been a law passed that rendered my words unheard. Perhaps, yes at one time or another there have been deep rooted angers and rage due to abuses. Yes, maybe there was a hate back when I was young and scared and scarred something deep Sir. Tonight, there's really no hate at all. Simply, I speak the truths. I don't have to play mind games or play with people's emotions. I don't hate white people - for shits sake, much of my DNA is constructed by my White Ancestor's. My Mixed Bloodedness requires I speak up for all of me, you see? Because I have seen first hand what the races in my veins have done onto one and another. And then there's the history that bleeds red in my veins of what one race has perpetrated against another.
From now and forever on it shall be that it is necessary I speak up for the all of me. There is something that I learned late in life. Perhaps it was something that I tripped across but I am blessed to have foresight and the type of vison that many can not even begin to fathom. The nay sayers and them who spoke negativity upon me. Now, this all goes back to you.
I have learned to say what I have to say. I saw and see it and smell it too, the way I have been treated throughout my life here on Mother Earth. If I have something to say, I say it. I'm a grown ass man, People's. I've worked hard all my damned life to get to some lame ass point in life where I am a gimp. That's not my fucking nature. Neither is letting people of any Race or Sexual Orientation or Political Party push "their" agenda upon me because Honey, I don't have time for that and neither do I have time for you disgusting Racist, Male Chauvinistic Pig's in my Circle - least of all, my fucking peripheral. Fuck Off then.
The extreme highs and lowest of lows is what I have shared here on this blog since August 2010. In health, mind, body, and Spirit. I have shared and flayed bare my inner most haunting's and the places of my mind, Spirit's and heart. To even phantom that someone considered close, would take advantage of my Energies, my Spirit's and love, today? It so fucking reminds me of how I have been taken advantage of in the past. Yes, these betrayal's cut me like those and I don't give a shit if Folks know this now. This is off my back now. I share with you my Guests, that these issues were so near and dear to my heart, that these provoked nightmares and negativity in those sixty hours of sleep since Friday past.
Friday, February 15, 2013
30 Hours No Sleep, Sir Dude, and Levi 501 Button Fly Jeans
I have not slept since waking from sleep yesterday morning. No, I am not sleepy. Not yet.
My body aches, pains and the symptoms of Meniere's are running on irritate-the-shit-out of this dude mode. My left ear just captured a solitary 'beep'. Not too long a beep, maybe like this; 'beeeep'. Yes, more like that. I have had issues with hearing since last night - poor hearing from my right ear and the sounds and noises that have been truly difficult tasks to live with spewing from both the left deaf and the right ear with an attitude. I will sum up the "noises and sounds" as being extra peculiar and the durations of time on one particular sound or another have been longer. I have my head full and am trying to not let this be so damned distracting. Oh, it so is.
I have vomited in my mouth twice today. One time with nothing but bile from my gizzards and the second was a chemical mixture of the medications I took this morning. Other than these two episodes, there has not been any more activity although the nausea remains high. As a Seven.
I have had elevator rides with my balance - never reaching top floor which would be full gimp speed ahead. Seen? The balance is hyper tied and intertwined into and with the state of dizziness, of which, have resulted in several stumbles, trips and near falls. Fortunately no falls. Dizzy in an ugly way. I try to stay focused on something. Tip-tapping the key board, following every word as it is popping into mind and trying hard not to think too much about the dizziness or the nausea.
I have been awake thirty hours and plan to be awake at least for another six or so hours. Wait for Mama to get home, have our evening meal, which I understand has been predetermined by our youngest offspring, and then read a speech or two and I'll be off to Dream World. Like that.
Thoughts and considerations of my visit with Sir Dude, put me in the way of saying that I had a damned good face-to-face with Sir Dude yesterday. He was prepared and had what I would consider good probing questions for me. Gladly, I was one dressed in attire that was befitting such a flushing of Mental Clutter. A mental enema is always best done in Levi's 501 Jeans.
My body aches, pains and the symptoms of Meniere's are running on irritate-the-shit-out of this dude mode. My left ear just captured a solitary 'beep'. Not too long a beep, maybe like this; 'beeeep'. Yes, more like that. I have had issues with hearing since last night - poor hearing from my right ear and the sounds and noises that have been truly difficult tasks to live with spewing from both the left deaf and the right ear with an attitude. I will sum up the "noises and sounds" as being extra peculiar and the durations of time on one particular sound or another have been longer. I have my head full and am trying to not let this be so damned distracting. Oh, it so is.
I have vomited in my mouth twice today. One time with nothing but bile from my gizzards and the second was a chemical mixture of the medications I took this morning. Other than these two episodes, there has not been any more activity although the nausea remains high. As a Seven.
I have had elevator rides with my balance - never reaching top floor which would be full gimp speed ahead. Seen? The balance is hyper tied and intertwined into and with the state of dizziness, of which, have resulted in several stumbles, trips and near falls. Fortunately no falls. Dizzy in an ugly way. I try to stay focused on something. Tip-tapping the key board, following every word as it is popping into mind and trying hard not to think too much about the dizziness or the nausea.
I have been awake thirty hours and plan to be awake at least for another six or so hours. Wait for Mama to get home, have our evening meal, which I understand has been predetermined by our youngest offspring, and then read a speech or two and I'll be off to Dream World. Like that.
Thoughts and considerations of my visit with Sir Dude, put me in the way of saying that I had a damned good face-to-face with Sir Dude yesterday. He was prepared and had what I would consider good probing questions for me. Gladly, I was one dressed in attire that was befitting such a flushing of Mental Clutter. A mental enema is always best done in Levi's 501 Jeans.
Meniere's Disease intra - tympanic Gentamicin injection
Relations,
This video is somewhat misleading. Perhaps even very misleading and I shall explain this as such, I had a series of these with our great hopes that the gentamicin injections would aid me with the fight against some of the symptoms of Meniere's Disease. Right.
A series, meaning six or seven injections of ROCK-YOUR-WHOLE-DAMNED-WORLD-PAIN! This kind Sir., and the good doctor are putting on a show I suspect. There was no laughter when I received these injections. None! I would actually curse aloud with my wonderful He-Who-Touched-My-Brain. I would fucking cuss, that's how bad this medicine hurts. Not the shot, but the liquid that was in the syringe for injection. Worst pain in the world for a minute - then gone.
By the way, the series of injections were failures. All of those visits and all of those shots into my ear hole. Who the hell ever thought about getting shots in the ear.
Post injections we traveled along a different path and method. It was time to cut and saw and drill and all of that stuff that has gone on up and into the Summer of this past year, 2012. Yes.
And, no, there's not one damned thing so funny about these awful and painful shots. Dog shit!
Facial Spasms and He-Who-Touched-My-Brain
Vonn, He-Who-Touched-My-Brain's, assistant and I have made a contact. There were telephone issues here at home while I was out to therapy with Sir Dude, yesterday. May have been that our fax machine engaged during her message because I could hear Miss. Vonn's voice, but could not understand what she was saying. Her call came in approximately five minutes prior to me calling her, as I was going to visit the lavatory and then call. She beat me to it, so I waited the five minutes to attend to my matter. I loved the way the synchronicity motioned this to happen.
I provided basically same information as I had left on recording Wednesday evening.
He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, has requested that ("wants") I to come in for examinations. I will visit with Doc., on this up coming Wednesday. I have considered that I might have gotten in to visit doctor earlier if I had not procrastinated in such a way, but I did, so now, I gather my wits and energy's and guide them with patience...
...the way my life has been lived the past four or five or so years, patience is something that I have fine tuned and learned to embrace early on. Sometimes it really seems to be a "wait and hurry up to wait some more" scenario. No, really, this is the way Meniere's Disease operates. This is where we live as house mates - damned Meniere's and it's symptoms. What can one do? I mean, like what a pain in the face. Get it? Ha. Yeah, I may make jovial at this moment, but I'll be hurting mighty bad with the next and every damned facial spasm.
Dreadful and unnatural - it just doesn't seem right to be having muscle spasms in one's face. Oh, good-goodness, I have had muscle spasms in every region of this body's frame and structure, and I share so seriously at this instant that facial spasms are the worst fucking spasm's I have ever had. Worse than my back spasms, my calf spasms, lung spasms, stomach cramps and on and on and on. But honestly dear friends, there is nothing like a damned face spasm. My God, all I can do is moan and wait it out. The pain is unexplainable. Soon, I hope we will attend to this pain in my face. And ass and emotions too. Shit!
I provided basically same information as I had left on recording Wednesday evening.
He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, has requested that ("wants") I to come in for examinations. I will visit with Doc., on this up coming Wednesday. I have considered that I might have gotten in to visit doctor earlier if I had not procrastinated in such a way, but I did, so now, I gather my wits and energy's and guide them with patience...
...the way my life has been lived the past four or five or so years, patience is something that I have fine tuned and learned to embrace early on. Sometimes it really seems to be a "wait and hurry up to wait some more" scenario. No, really, this is the way Meniere's Disease operates. This is where we live as house mates - damned Meniere's and it's symptoms. What can one do? I mean, like what a pain in the face. Get it? Ha. Yeah, I may make jovial at this moment, but I'll be hurting mighty bad with the next and every damned facial spasm.
Dreadful and unnatural - it just doesn't seem right to be having muscle spasms in one's face. Oh, good-goodness, I have had muscle spasms in every region of this body's frame and structure, and I share so seriously at this instant that facial spasms are the worst fucking spasm's I have ever had. Worse than my back spasms, my calf spasms, lung spasms, stomach cramps and on and on and on. But honestly dear friends, there is nothing like a damned face spasm. My God, all I can do is moan and wait it out. The pain is unexplainable. Soon, I hope we will attend to this pain in my face. And ass and emotions too. Shit!
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Projecting Your Back Stabbing Ways Smell Like Rotting Fish
"Projecting overconfidence and individuality on the outside can be a way to mask uncertainty on the inside."
Projecting your Holier than thous and your delusions of grandeur, fit you like a glove. Smug?
For a few Folks who are grappling with "who I am?". Dont'cha worry none, 'bout I and I. Or who am I. I am who I am and I am okay with that. My God's okay with that too. You and your God talk amongst yourselves. Seen.
You mind you and your own and worry about you and yourself. You need to from where I sit. You who are just so judgemental. Your temperamentally, it is "your" shit I smell from where I sit.
You and your boat smell like rotting fish. You and your lieing ways. Your back stabbing ways.
You say and tell one thing, then you back step and walk that way.
We break bread and make good talk and laugh and drink. Talk of love and respect for one and another and our families. You speak words to my face and my one ear then take them back like some children's game.
How it is you walk with more than two faces and pay so too much mind to remembering your last lies and other people's shit is a craft molded around your character. It's your nature. You wear it well and it smells right on you.
Look, do me a huge favour, eh? You jump, and then you can say I worked your silly little self-important bullshit-filled ass. Just don't play with my emotions, Smokey.
You go else where to pound your white monkey ass and chest. Just go. Enough.
Do it.
Projecting your Holier than thous and your delusions of grandeur, fit you like a glove. Smug?
For a few Folks who are grappling with "who I am?". Dont'cha worry none, 'bout I and I. Or who am I. I am who I am and I am okay with that. My God's okay with that too. You and your God talk amongst yourselves. Seen.
You mind you and your own and worry about you and yourself. You need to from where I sit. You who are just so judgemental. Your temperamentally, it is "your" shit I smell from where I sit.
You and your boat smell like rotting fish. You and your lieing ways. Your back stabbing ways.
You say and tell one thing, then you back step and walk that way.
We break bread and make good talk and laugh and drink. Talk of love and respect for one and another and our families. You speak words to my face and my one ear then take them back like some children's game.
How it is you walk with more than two faces and pay so too much mind to remembering your last lies and other people's shit is a craft molded around your character. It's your nature. You wear it well and it smells right on you.
Look, do me a huge favour, eh? You jump, and then you can say I worked your silly little self-important bullshit-filled ass. Just don't play with my emotions, Smokey.
You go else where to pound your white monkey ass and chest. Just go. Enough.
Do it.
The Little Blue Bus and Off To See Sir Dude
The driver of the Lil' Blue Bus, got here more than an hour early. No, I have not cancelled out on Sir Dude, who it is I have an appointment with this afternoon. The lobby of this law practice where Sir, has his office is smaller than the room I sit in presently. Eww shit, so small it stirs up the claustrophobia from not-too-deep within.
I am familiar with this driver. She is very sweet and respected. I bit heavy on the pedal, but then, so are all three of the Lady's in my life - my wife and my two daughter's. Dammit Women! You don't have to drive about town as if channeling Jeff Gordan, I mean, for Shits Sake! This is why I refer to these Women as 2 Fast - 2 Furious for me, Honey. Know-what-I-mean?
Whew, now that I am over that we bit of anxiety, I am off to finish preparing for my visit with Sir Dude. Gladly, as I feel the necessity of a gathering....
...there's so much going on within the confines of this thick damned skull. From the overwhelming joy of what I am experiencing with Special K., over Vocational Rehabilitation, and Lady S., with Vocational Concepts. I have been blessed by something extraordinary here, I have not put my finger on it yet, but something special is going on. It's all happening so quickly too and I wonder if this stirs up my Spirit's and energy's. Yeah, I suppose it would.
There are gloomy conditions out. It has rained off and on since yesterday. The Rain's of Winter, have brought much cooler living conditions. I love it when it is over cast and grey and gloomy. It seems to fit into a piece of my brain's nice and neat, like a puzzle piece. Well now, I can here the rain on the tin roof out back with the screened porch. I would love to be standing out there at this moment, but obligation and responsibility to my self is of the matter. My business is an urgent affair. Seen.
I will be back it a spell, Inshallah! It is as the Great One dictates. I am but a spec of dust in the grand scheme of the Universe and all that is the Universe from within. So insignificant. Me.
I am familiar with this driver. She is very sweet and respected. I bit heavy on the pedal, but then, so are all three of the Lady's in my life - my wife and my two daughter's. Dammit Women! You don't have to drive about town as if channeling Jeff Gordan, I mean, for Shits Sake! This is why I refer to these Women as 2 Fast - 2 Furious for me, Honey. Know-what-I-mean?
Whew, now that I am over that we bit of anxiety, I am off to finish preparing for my visit with Sir Dude. Gladly, as I feel the necessity of a gathering....
...there's so much going on within the confines of this thick damned skull. From the overwhelming joy of what I am experiencing with Special K., over Vocational Rehabilitation, and Lady S., with Vocational Concepts. I have been blessed by something extraordinary here, I have not put my finger on it yet, but something special is going on. It's all happening so quickly too and I wonder if this stirs up my Spirit's and energy's. Yeah, I suppose it would.
There are gloomy conditions out. It has rained off and on since yesterday. The Rain's of Winter, have brought much cooler living conditions. I love it when it is over cast and grey and gloomy. It seems to fit into a piece of my brain's nice and neat, like a puzzle piece. Well now, I can here the rain on the tin roof out back with the screened porch. I would love to be standing out there at this moment, but obligation and responsibility to my self is of the matter. My business is an urgent affair. Seen.
I will be back it a spell, Inshallah! It is as the Great One dictates. I am but a spec of dust in the grand scheme of the Universe and all that is the Universe from within. So insignificant. Me.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
The Rain's of Winter and My Baptism
The Rain's of Winter, have come and Mother Earth Rejoices. The friends of mine who live in our tiny piece of sanctuary are happy and too, are rejoicing.
I stood in a constant down pour of God's Holy Water, that washed over me and bathed me, as within a private and Blessed Baptism. Me, in in a state of total undress, standing by my cement pond, listening to something that blocked out all other noises or distraction from the outside in. I did not feel naked in this Rain of the Winter. I felt soothed and loved and fresh and clean of negative energy or those sources there of.
Earlier today, on a brief walk about, I came upon what a seriously believed to have been a Voo Doo site. I was drawn to it by what I thought was the skull of a human. It was a coconut, along with a bag, some tokens and dead flowers stuffed flowers end down into the bag. No, I did not trouble the site - whatsoever was there before me was left unmolested right where it is now.
I prayed to my God, my Great Spirit, asking for righteousness and a learning from this situation and lesson. When and where I felt a certainty of the significance's of this site. Whether, a curse on another, or blessings for another, Great Spirit, has my back. It is, as the person who left it there meant it to be. As it is, I would expect from other One's when I leave my Blessing's and Ceremony's, 'as is'. As it is true, I spoke with the Spirit's present and asked their pardon for my intrusion. No ill will.
By gone's.
I am in a pleasant state at this moment and am so very refreshed from the waters blessed by God. Thank You, Great One, for the Blessing's of water for our Earth Mother, and God, thank you for touching me with your breathe and those wonderful Spirit's of them who came generations before me.
I'll be gone then.
I stood in a constant down pour of God's Holy Water, that washed over me and bathed me, as within a private and Blessed Baptism. Me, in in a state of total undress, standing by my cement pond, listening to something that blocked out all other noises or distraction from the outside in. I did not feel naked in this Rain of the Winter. I felt soothed and loved and fresh and clean of negative energy or those sources there of.
Earlier today, on a brief walk about, I came upon what a seriously believed to have been a Voo Doo site. I was drawn to it by what I thought was the skull of a human. It was a coconut, along with a bag, some tokens and dead flowers stuffed flowers end down into the bag. No, I did not trouble the site - whatsoever was there before me was left unmolested right where it is now.
I prayed to my God, my Great Spirit, asking for righteousness and a learning from this situation and lesson. When and where I felt a certainty of the significance's of this site. Whether, a curse on another, or blessings for another, Great Spirit, has my back. It is, as the person who left it there meant it to be. As it is, I would expect from other One's when I leave my Blessing's and Ceremony's, 'as is'. As it is true, I spoke with the Spirit's present and asked their pardon for my intrusion. No ill will.
By gone's.
I am in a pleasant state at this moment and am so very refreshed from the waters blessed by God. Thank You, Great One, for the Blessing's of water for our Earth Mother, and God, thank you for touching me with your breathe and those wonderful Spirit's of them who came generations before me.
I'll be gone then.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Cochlear Implant Surgery Part 1 (Closed Captioning)
Folks, the only reason I post this is because this is He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, narrates the surgery. This series of video is for the Cochlear Implant, mine is the Cochlear BAHA.
Yes, this is the one and only person on Mother Earth, to have touched my brain and I am forever fortunate and blessed to have had our Paths cross. I dread to even imagine the possibilities.
I have studied and have been informed that patients who have such deep personal surgeries by a doctor become linked with that doctor. Well, I share that yes, for me this is true. I love my doctor, He-Who-Touched-My-Brain. I pray for Great Spirit to Bless his hands, to Bless his family at home and his family there in the clinic.
And, um, in case you might have wondered, yes, this is 'my' operating room. Oh God, Doc, how many times have we met there? You, my favorite Put-Me-To-Sleep Doctor and the wonderful staff at Tampa General Hospital.
World, this is my wonderful He-Who-Touched-My-Brains.
Lady S., Vocational Concepts Called, My Hope's Remain Alive!
Earlier this afternoon around 1345, I received a call from Lady S., from Vocational Concepts. When I saw her name pop up on my CaptionCall, all I can say is I know there was an excitement that overwhelmed my every sense. And Ma'am, I sure hope I didn't make too much of an ass of myself. I share this, because Kindred, I went through some very happy changes in this skin. More like jumping and hopping about inside. Lady S., asked if I wouldn't mind meeting with her next week...
...she shares with me that there are some other tests that remain.
Well? Yes, was my reply to her request, which I made clear to her was to based around her convenience, not mine. With this call this afternoon, my prayers, grand hopes remain and wishes have come true. Friends, yes, I have been provided the opportunity to gather with Lady S., and Vocational Concepts once again. I was afraid that we would be cut off at where we left off. Nope.
All of what my team and I are working on, this drive and the focus and attention to detail on all levels of my team, is to prepare me for a return to the ranks of them gainfully employed. I am knowing that these disabilities will create many a battle field for me and my potential employers, yet I am ready and yes, I am prepared. I have worked as a Tax Paying Citizen of this U.S. of A. since I was twelve years of age. Today, I am at a fifty three that I did not see from where I was driving way back when, but I am here and forward is the motion.
Lady S.'s call assures me that she, here company, Vocational Concepts and Miss. K.'s, Vocational Rehabilitation work as member of my team to get "us" there, because dammit, and now that I think about it, Lady S., is getting me to that next step...
...she and Miss. Special K., are preparing me for the next level.
From my heart and Spirit's to those of yours, all I can say or do, is say thank you.
...she shares with me that there are some other tests that remain.
Well? Yes, was my reply to her request, which I made clear to her was to based around her convenience, not mine. With this call this afternoon, my prayers, grand hopes remain and wishes have come true. Friends, yes, I have been provided the opportunity to gather with Lady S., and Vocational Concepts once again. I was afraid that we would be cut off at where we left off. Nope.
All of what my team and I are working on, this drive and the focus and attention to detail on all levels of my team, is to prepare me for a return to the ranks of them gainfully employed. I am knowing that these disabilities will create many a battle field for me and my potential employers, yet I am ready and yes, I am prepared. I have worked as a Tax Paying Citizen of this U.S. of A. since I was twelve years of age. Today, I am at a fifty three that I did not see from where I was driving way back when, but I am here and forward is the motion.
Lady S.'s call assures me that she, here company, Vocational Concepts and Miss. K.'s, Vocational Rehabilitation work as member of my team to get "us" there, because dammit, and now that I think about it, Lady S., is getting me to that next step...
...she and Miss. Special K., are preparing me for the next level.
From my heart and Spirit's to those of yours, all I can say or do, is say thank you.
Retro Sigmoid Vestibular Nerve Section for Meniere's Disease
Relations,
Yes, I have also had the Vestibular Nerve Section. Also on the left side of my head. It did take longer than two hours due to complications from the thickness of my skull and excessive bleeding.
The doctor speaking, spoke briefly about facial spasms and the vestibular nerve section. This sounds like a good topic for He-Who-Touched-My-Brain and I to have a chit chat about. I have suffered from these extraordinarily painful spasms since surgeries began. Not before. Never.
Balloon Pop Sound Effect - A Meniere's Sound Symptom
In real life I don't have a cute cartoon preparing me for a real life "POP!". This is one of the Meniere's Sound Symptom's that fucking pops up and scares the piss out of a grown man...
...I know this you see, because that grown ass man is me. This happens to me regularly and has been going on for as many years as I have been deaf and had the loss of balance on the left side.
In real life, I have been ridiculed by Kinfolk and reprimanded by both Kinfolk and Kindred alike. There is one very troubling incident that took place in a very busy restaurant where I was trying to get my bottom side back to work after a half dozen surgery's or so. A person yelled aloud at me because of my reactions to the pops, bangs and other startling sounds and noises. This happened maybe two or three years ago, in my heart and memory it is as if it happened two or three months ago. Even then, three months is too long to be holding on to that hurt.
I am SSD and HH due to Meniere's Disease. This is not my video. I simply share.
Labyrinthectomy for Meniere's Disease
This is a brief snap shot of this operation I had early on in our fight against Meniere's.
What doctor here has explained in less than four minutes took well over three hours to complete.
This surgery was done on the left side of my skull only.
Mario
P.S. I am an individual who is SSD and HH. I do not own this video. I use this simply to share.
Endolymphatic sac surgery by P.Bordure Department of ORL&CCF University ...
As I have become more comfortable with what has been done to my scalp, skull and ears, and with
the idea and promise to share what it is I have experienced on this journey, Meniere's Disease, Mario's Path
I have had this surgery done on both ears.
Both surgery's resulted in negative results. Neither operation provided and relief or aid to me in any way with this fight against Meniere's Disease.
I say, it is best this is silent. I promise you it is.
As I continue to find interesting bits and pieces related to "my" Meniere's Disease, I will share.
Monday, February 11, 2013
The Sound of Frogs At Night - A Meniere's Sound Symptom
Dearest Kind One's,
Yes, oh God, yes, this is what I have meant when speaking of listening to and hearing the sounds of frogs, crickets, and creatures of the night.
Yes, this is a Meniere's Disease Sound Symptom that occurs in my ears and thick skull. These critters are protected by the thickness of my skull and for this, I know they are grateful.
Yes, I am hearing these sounds in my right good bad ear at this moment. This is what put me in mind to "share" this sound. I am Single Side Deaf and Hard of Hearing, and this sure can torture me something so terrible with such fantastic sound and noises from within.
This would have to be turned up louder in the volume department for a true representation..
The Key Words Were; "mario vomits marios disease"
Thank you to the Heavens! Thank you, My Great Spirit! Someone crossed My Path by entering "mario vomits marios disease" and they found themselves here on Mario's Path. My Dear God!
Great Spirit, I Thank You!
To the Kind and Unknown One, thank you so much for entering your search the way you did.
You have touched my heart and my Spirit's, my Kindred Guest. I am Honored in such a way that I shall name this post after your search words. I have tried not to cry, but tears have slipped from mostly my right eye as my left eye never has learned how to cry again.
Look, I call upon all of you, my Relations, whether you be Kinfolk, Kindred, Spirit or somebody that I used to know, know that you remain alive within me. I share your story's. I say your words as I tell my story.
I am simple and I, by no way can ever imagine myself over another - because this is not how I breathe this air. I am the servant. I am the disabled one. I am the One that Kinfolk and Kindred have shuttered out. So I become my keeper - I am this Brothers Keeper. And I know this. Huh?
And with that, now you know what it was I meant to say.
Seen.
me
Great Spirit, I Thank You!
To the Kind and Unknown One, thank you so much for entering your search the way you did.
You have touched my heart and my Spirit's, my Kindred Guest. I am Honored in such a way that I shall name this post after your search words. I have tried not to cry, but tears have slipped from mostly my right eye as my left eye never has learned how to cry again.
Look, I call upon all of you, my Relations, whether you be Kinfolk, Kindred, Spirit or somebody that I used to know, know that you remain alive within me. I share your story's. I say your words as I tell my story.
I am simple and I, by no way can ever imagine myself over another - because this is not how I breathe this air. I am the servant. I am the disabled one. I am the One that Kinfolk and Kindred have shuttered out. So I become my keeper - I am this Brothers Keeper. And I know this. Huh?
And with that, now you know what it was I meant to say.
Seen.
me
The Deep Death Sleep, Me A Teddy Bear Gimp And My Fear
Kind One's,
I wish to share with you that I am aware I mentioned the 'state of a deep death sleep' earlier. It was simply a means of expressing the deep semi-coma states of sleep that I so very easily shape shift into. It is in my mind, the meniere's and my body that mandates the sleep. A different place and different Relations, yet all are relations, I have crossed paths with before. With me and my sleeps, I very rarely do not go into Dream World. I mean rarer than rare. I always dream.
I enjoy my Dream Worlds and am accepting of the concept that I do cover many different times and places in my Dream World. This is a deeper state of sleep that most people only wish to experience. Here, I have learned how and when to adjust to altered states of mind and what I believe to be being a reality-in-dream. It is here in Dream World that I have 'ran on water'. And knew it when I was doing it. Eh?
Feck no, I'm not ashamed to share this with my Relations. I mean, DAMMIT KINFOLK! This is my address and this is where I live! And like it or not, I am a handsome Teddy Bear Gimp. Seen?
There are many times when I am afraid because I have no idea of my environment. I am a sleeping man dead to the world. I have weapons scattered about my lodge and am prepared should something unfortunate should happen to a strange intruder into my lodge.
Ya-Hey! Today's a good day to die!!
Please know the drama's in my Dream World are many times more than not, just as dramatic as the drama's in my awake life. You see, and with me, only heaven knows. Oh yes, and by the way, I hear with both ears in my Dream World!! No Shit - for Shit's Sake, I Do!
In my slumber and sleep I am totally cut off from my environment. I am aware and very consciousness of this. Due to our very precarious financial matters, we are unable to afford the tools I need to make my environment, a safer and more secure place to live and thrive. I do dream of financially related scenario's as well. I mean, Kindred, I have been what I thought was a numbers dude for evah! My God, I was able to pinch a booger from a Lincoln Nose off of a penny. I mean, really. So, yes there have really been times when I am face to face with a Boss in Dream World. Working on numbers that I knew, she/he knew I knew what to do with! I did it for DECADES!!
I mean, my Dear God?! I am truly humbled. To the Core, I am humbled. Word?
I wish to share with you that I am aware I mentioned the 'state of a deep death sleep' earlier. It was simply a means of expressing the deep semi-coma states of sleep that I so very easily shape shift into. It is in my mind, the meniere's and my body that mandates the sleep. A different place and different Relations, yet all are relations, I have crossed paths with before. With me and my sleeps, I very rarely do not go into Dream World. I mean rarer than rare. I always dream.
I enjoy my Dream Worlds and am accepting of the concept that I do cover many different times and places in my Dream World. This is a deeper state of sleep that most people only wish to experience. Here, I have learned how and when to adjust to altered states of mind and what I believe to be being a reality-in-dream. It is here in Dream World that I have 'ran on water'. And knew it when I was doing it. Eh?
Feck no, I'm not ashamed to share this with my Relations. I mean, DAMMIT KINFOLK! This is my address and this is where I live! And like it or not, I am a handsome Teddy Bear Gimp. Seen?
There are many times when I am afraid because I have no idea of my environment. I am a sleeping man dead to the world. I have weapons scattered about my lodge and am prepared should something unfortunate should happen to a strange intruder into my lodge.
Ya-Hey! Today's a good day to die!!
Please know the drama's in my Dream World are many times more than not, just as dramatic as the drama's in my awake life. You see, and with me, only heaven knows. Oh yes, and by the way, I hear with both ears in my Dream World!! No Shit - for Shit's Sake, I Do!
In my slumber and sleep I am totally cut off from my environment. I am aware and very consciousness of this. Due to our very precarious financial matters, we are unable to afford the tools I need to make my environment, a safer and more secure place to live and thrive. I do dream of financially related scenario's as well. I mean, Kindred, I have been what I thought was a numbers dude for evah! My God, I was able to pinch a booger from a Lincoln Nose off of a penny. I mean, really. So, yes there have really been times when I am face to face with a Boss in Dream World. Working on numbers that I knew, she/he knew I knew what to do with! I did it for DECADES!!
I mean, my Dear God?! I am truly humbled. To the Core, I am humbled. Word?
The Past Forty Eight Hours, Meniere's Attack, Sleep And Emotions
Relations,
Since this past Saturday morning, 9 Feb. 13, I have slept forty hours plus. Today, 11 Feb. 13, I woke up at 1249. I knew it was 1249 because that's what the clock-I-can't-hear said with it's bright red digital numbers and date. The sounds and what-knot's that once made this such a cool alarm clock so cool, was that I could be awakened by the sounds of a creek, the waves of a far and far away ocean and or the beep-beep that is more of a crank-chunk-crank, all-out-loud-and-shit. I know what this silent monster can do to some one who hears it well. Oh yeah, I do too. I've been told.
I did not sleep the whole weekend away I say. I was able to spend some quality time with my dear wife, my Honorable Daughter #2 and my Eldest sister Chaka Zula, for a spell Saturday evening and a meal at Hanks Catfish and BBQ...
...dammit that place reminds me of home. I miss you Mama! I swear I do!
I made attempts to reach an important Spirit during a few moments of my awake time.
Relations, I know it is silly, but I continue to carry the shame of those Math scores from the tests last Thursday. Yes, I know and I acknowledge certain scenarios, but I mean, like a Bee sting, it stung so damned bad. Naw Boo, it was like a wicked slap on the naked ass! Yes, yes, I know. I know now what it is I have to do with this present situation. And I'll feckin' do it! Very well then...
...my hearing has been sabotaged by these many hours of a deep death sleep. Botswana, had to shake my leg which did not go too happy and well with the emotional situation. I am hearing at the moment and am still being so very distracted by the sounds coming from my deaf left ear.
Earlier, I laid in my bed watching the ceiling fan slowly go around and about while waiting to listen to that ceiling fan. No, I don't know how long I laid there and never did hear the birds out back or the sounds of traffic on that not too far away road. No, I didn't take note of the time. My World is weird when things go quiet. God Dammit It! It really is so weird!
My right ear is pained from deep inside and has been in pain for well over an hour. These are the pains that He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, suspects is the migraine's. I have not medicated this. Neither have I medicated this dreadful pain in my neck and shoulders. For the first time today I felt the pain approaching my elbow. I suspect that I am going to medicate this, it's just a matter of time...
...my Kinfolk and Kindred have always been after me about taking these medications. There are medications that I take daily, faithfully and as prescribed and ordered by my physician's, then my friends, there are the one's that I know affect me. Yes, yes, ease the pain, yet create in me what I am certain to be chemical imbalance's.
Um, I live life on an Imbalanced Center and my walk and feet. I have balance on one side of my head only. There is a constant state of dizziness, an imbalance here in my skin. In the flesh that covers these bones. I am forever and ever in some sort of imbalance. Why then, would I wish to introduce such and another chemical? I honestly don't know. I will share that yes though, I do and will eat the medication to control the pain. I make compromise's with self sometimes and take only half the dose that is prescribed. And adjust as needed, full or half. Seen.
As much as I have slept, I wonder and consider if there might have been an attack of Meniere's in my sleep. I have had these before. He-Who-Touched-My-Brain and I have talked about these invisible and silent attacks before. I am not positive, but I know damned well what I am going through at this moment is a direct reflection of what post Meniere's attacks feel like. I know how and what it is my mind, body and Spirit's, feel like post attack. I am here at this very moment.
Please, my Kindred, let me fight this battle against the "sleep and slumber"! I wish to fight it! These are my battles for Pete's Sake and it is I who must fight them! If I were to have listened to them who say, "please call", or "if you ever" and if I were to listen to some in my circle, the sleep comes because "I" need it or because "my" body needs it. As bad as my selves want to go back to bed and sleep - I think not now. No, not now. Please, Great Spirit, not now.
I have been fasting since Saturday and will break fast with my evening meal.
My heart and Spirit's are heavy. As it is my feelings and emotions always are post attacks. These are times when I become the Invisible One to so many in my Circle. It is difficult to explain, but I'll say this in quotations, "I am way over certain folk and their way's of 'Elementary School Play' being involved in my recovery". Maybe, it is I, who have wasted so too much time in worry's and prayer for you, my kind one, but no, not the prayer's, because the Prayer's come from my Spirit's, you see? But, the worry? A total waste of some damned good brain cells, en'it?
I wear a ball cap of perspiration at this moment and have a moist t-shirt attached to my back and chest. I feel a cool breeze from the screened porch headed this way and am cooled. I am not hot, as this is the Meniere's that dictates this sweat. In the night and in the day.
As far as the Meineire's Disease, all of this is a part of a package deal with today's Early Bird Special. I hate these processes Kindred! I so hate them so very much.
I scream silently out loud that I hate all of this! I swear to my heart, I hate this bullshit that took my dear life and turned in and in-side out. This invisible, silent and disgusting Meniere's.
Since this past Saturday morning, 9 Feb. 13, I have slept forty hours plus. Today, 11 Feb. 13, I woke up at 1249. I knew it was 1249 because that's what the clock-I-can't-hear said with it's bright red digital numbers and date. The sounds and what-knot's that once made this such a cool alarm clock so cool, was that I could be awakened by the sounds of a creek, the waves of a far and far away ocean and or the beep-beep that is more of a crank-chunk-crank, all-out-loud-and-shit. I know what this silent monster can do to some one who hears it well. Oh yeah, I do too. I've been told.
I did not sleep the whole weekend away I say. I was able to spend some quality time with my dear wife, my Honorable Daughter #2 and my Eldest sister Chaka Zula, for a spell Saturday evening and a meal at Hanks Catfish and BBQ...
...dammit that place reminds me of home. I miss you Mama! I swear I do!
I made attempts to reach an important Spirit during a few moments of my awake time.
Relations, I know it is silly, but I continue to carry the shame of those Math scores from the tests last Thursday. Yes, I know and I acknowledge certain scenarios, but I mean, like a Bee sting, it stung so damned bad. Naw Boo, it was like a wicked slap on the naked ass! Yes, yes, I know. I know now what it is I have to do with this present situation. And I'll feckin' do it! Very well then...
...my hearing has been sabotaged by these many hours of a deep death sleep. Botswana, had to shake my leg which did not go too happy and well with the emotional situation. I am hearing at the moment and am still being so very distracted by the sounds coming from my deaf left ear.
Earlier, I laid in my bed watching the ceiling fan slowly go around and about while waiting to listen to that ceiling fan. No, I don't know how long I laid there and never did hear the birds out back or the sounds of traffic on that not too far away road. No, I didn't take note of the time. My World is weird when things go quiet. God Dammit It! It really is so weird!
My right ear is pained from deep inside and has been in pain for well over an hour. These are the pains that He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, suspects is the migraine's. I have not medicated this. Neither have I medicated this dreadful pain in my neck and shoulders. For the first time today I felt the pain approaching my elbow. I suspect that I am going to medicate this, it's just a matter of time...
...my Kinfolk and Kindred have always been after me about taking these medications. There are medications that I take daily, faithfully and as prescribed and ordered by my physician's, then my friends, there are the one's that I know affect me. Yes, yes, ease the pain, yet create in me what I am certain to be chemical imbalance's.
Um, I live life on an Imbalanced Center and my walk and feet. I have balance on one side of my head only. There is a constant state of dizziness, an imbalance here in my skin. In the flesh that covers these bones. I am forever and ever in some sort of imbalance. Why then, would I wish to introduce such and another chemical? I honestly don't know. I will share that yes though, I do and will eat the medication to control the pain. I make compromise's with self sometimes and take only half the dose that is prescribed. And adjust as needed, full or half. Seen.
As much as I have slept, I wonder and consider if there might have been an attack of Meniere's in my sleep. I have had these before. He-Who-Touched-My-Brain and I have talked about these invisible and silent attacks before. I am not positive, but I know damned well what I am going through at this moment is a direct reflection of what post Meniere's attacks feel like. I know how and what it is my mind, body and Spirit's, feel like post attack. I am here at this very moment.
Please, my Kindred, let me fight this battle against the "sleep and slumber"! I wish to fight it! These are my battles for Pete's Sake and it is I who must fight them! If I were to have listened to them who say, "please call", or "if you ever" and if I were to listen to some in my circle, the sleep comes because "I" need it or because "my" body needs it. As bad as my selves want to go back to bed and sleep - I think not now. No, not now. Please, Great Spirit, not now.
I have been fasting since Saturday and will break fast with my evening meal.
My heart and Spirit's are heavy. As it is my feelings and emotions always are post attacks. These are times when I become the Invisible One to so many in my Circle. It is difficult to explain, but I'll say this in quotations, "I am way over certain folk and their way's of 'Elementary School Play' being involved in my recovery". Maybe, it is I, who have wasted so too much time in worry's and prayer for you, my kind one, but no, not the prayer's, because the Prayer's come from my Spirit's, you see? But, the worry? A total waste of some damned good brain cells, en'it?
I wear a ball cap of perspiration at this moment and have a moist t-shirt attached to my back and chest. I feel a cool breeze from the screened porch headed this way and am cooled. I am not hot, as this is the Meniere's that dictates this sweat. In the night and in the day.
As far as the Meineire's Disease, all of this is a part of a package deal with today's Early Bird Special. I hate these processes Kindred! I so hate them so very much.
I scream silently out loud that I hate all of this! I swear to my heart, I hate this bullshit that took my dear life and turned in and in-side out. This invisible, silent and disgusting Meniere's.
ATTN: ALL SKYPE/BLOG USERS
ATTN: ALL SKYPE/BLOG USERS
AT 1346, I RECEIVED A TELEPHONE CALL FROM A COMPUTERIZED PERSON WHO'S NAME WAS ERIC. THE CALLER WAS VERY HUMAN LIKE IN VOICE, SO I LISTENED MOMENTARILY. THE CALLER HAD WHAT I RECOGNIZED TO BE A SCRIPT OF SOME SORT. AFTER I ASKED THE CALLER TO PLEASE INTRODUCE HIMSELF, THERE WAS A BRIEF MOMENT OR TWO OF SILENCE THEN THIS COMPUTERIZED VOICE/PERSON BEGAN THE SAME PROCESS OVER AGAIN.
THE MESSAGE WENT ALONG THIS FORM OF INTRODUCTION; "HELLO, MY NAME IS ERIC, LIKE YOU, I HAD A PROBLEM WITH MY BLOG..."
THE TELEPHONE NUMBER IS; 1-661-748-0240.
THE REASON I MENTION "SKYPE", IS BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT CALLER ID SAID.
THE REASON I MENTION "BLOG", IS BECAUSE THE CALLER MENTIONED BLOG.
PERHAPS, THIS SIMPLE FELLOW HERE IS MAKING TOO MUCH OF THIS. I DON'T KNOW AND I DON'T CARE. MULTIPLE RED FLAGS WENT UP IN MY STELLAR SKULL AND I FELT IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
me
AT 1346, I RECEIVED A TELEPHONE CALL FROM A COMPUTERIZED PERSON WHO'S NAME WAS ERIC. THE CALLER WAS VERY HUMAN LIKE IN VOICE, SO I LISTENED MOMENTARILY. THE CALLER HAD WHAT I RECOGNIZED TO BE A SCRIPT OF SOME SORT. AFTER I ASKED THE CALLER TO PLEASE INTRODUCE HIMSELF, THERE WAS A BRIEF MOMENT OR TWO OF SILENCE THEN THIS COMPUTERIZED VOICE/PERSON BEGAN THE SAME PROCESS OVER AGAIN.
THE MESSAGE WENT ALONG THIS FORM OF INTRODUCTION; "HELLO, MY NAME IS ERIC, LIKE YOU, I HAD A PROBLEM WITH MY BLOG..."
THE TELEPHONE NUMBER IS; 1-661-748-0240.
THE REASON I MENTION "SKYPE", IS BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT CALLER ID SAID.
THE REASON I MENTION "BLOG", IS BECAUSE THE CALLER MENTIONED BLOG.
PERHAPS, THIS SIMPLE FELLOW HERE IS MAKING TOO MUCH OF THIS. I DON'T KNOW AND I DON'T CARE. MULTIPLE RED FLAGS WENT UP IN MY STELLAR SKULL AND I FELT IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
me
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Florida, 59 F. and My Right's And Mixed Bloodedness
It's nice to sit here this evening. The Florida Winter out of doors is a cool and breezy 59 F. Please, believe I have thanked Great Spirit many times for me being born and raised here in the South Eastern United States of America. I feel good speaking about this. You know, the big civic minded bobble head that I am today. He the One-To-Stand-For-Our-Right's. The one who was once so well known and respected in many different communities of the places I have lived.
Yes, many remember me as an eccentric. I am fine with that and am okay that I have been blessed to have been referred to as a Mystic, and really, even at this stage in my life and My Path, being one to walk in these shoes requires a wee hint of madness. A pinch of ecenticness and a shake-shake of a 'Afroed Freakazoid'...
...and now mix this with the advocate that I am. The militant I have been accused of being. One who has Marched on the streets of this State called Florida. I have marched in Miami, Fort Lauderdale, Saint Petersburg and Tampa. My dear daughters, wife and thousands and thousands of us were barked at and cursed at by the Ku Klux Klan, right here on Kennedy Blvd. I have been spat at, I have had rubbish thrown at me, I have been beaten, robbed and ignored by peoples who live in the very same city as me, but because of a difference in opinion - we become adversaries and remember this my dear Kindred, when it comes down to one adversary facing the next one, with my face in their face, there is always loss. Always defeat.
I have marched with politician's, standing up and being heard for local causes and beliefs. I have marched with the NAACP, we have marched with the wonderful people with NOW! I have marched with thousands and thousands of Christians and have been to listen to Billy Graham amongst over capacity at the stadium where the Bucs play - chock full of Christians...
...I have marched with The Quilt. I have marched for the cause of HIV and AIDS Awareness, and have marched for civil and equal rights's. I have marched for the equal rights of Women, marched for the citizens of our Red Nations and equal and civil rights for we the Mixed Blood. The Black and the Hispanic and our Gay Brothers and Lesbian Sisters. All me and my Mixed Blood.
Yes, many remember me as an eccentric. I am fine with that and am okay that I have been blessed to have been referred to as a Mystic, and really, even at this stage in my life and My Path, being one to walk in these shoes requires a wee hint of madness. A pinch of ecenticness and a shake-shake of a 'Afroed Freakazoid'...
...and now mix this with the advocate that I am. The militant I have been accused of being. One who has Marched on the streets of this State called Florida. I have marched in Miami, Fort Lauderdale, Saint Petersburg and Tampa. My dear daughters, wife and thousands and thousands of us were barked at and cursed at by the Ku Klux Klan, right here on Kennedy Blvd. I have been spat at, I have had rubbish thrown at me, I have been beaten, robbed and ignored by peoples who live in the very same city as me, but because of a difference in opinion - we become adversaries and remember this my dear Kindred, when it comes down to one adversary facing the next one, with my face in their face, there is always loss. Always defeat.
I have marched with politician's, standing up and being heard for local causes and beliefs. I have marched with the NAACP, we have marched with the wonderful people with NOW! I have marched with thousands and thousands of Christians and have been to listen to Billy Graham amongst over capacity at the stadium where the Bucs play - chock full of Christians...
...I have marched with The Quilt. I have marched for the cause of HIV and AIDS Awareness, and have marched for civil and equal rights's. I have marched for the equal rights of Women, marched for the citizens of our Red Nations and equal and civil rights for we the Mixed Blood. The Black and the Hispanic and our Gay Brothers and Lesbian Sisters. All me and my Mixed Blood.
Friday, February 8, 2013
With You, I Celebrate The 1,000th Post, I Thank You From Me To You
Dear Kind One's,
Please, it would be an Honor if you were to celebrate this very post with me, this being the 1,000th publication of Meniere's Disease, Mario's Path. Yes, my dearest Guest's, there have been one thousand postings with the all of what and who I am. Just one year ago today, I would have never thought I would be where I am today. I am blessed and I am forever grateful to each and every one and each person who has ever stopped by to read my utterances...
...my sometimes blabbering and crying and bitterness and gladness and the blessing's too.
I thank you
I am Honored to have you all be a part of my life as I see it. As we fight this Meniere's rubbish as a Team. This life I live and how it is I walk along the Red Path of mine.
There seems to be a lack for a word that would sum up exactly what it is that I am feeling right now. I speculate that this is not a coincidence but rather a means for me to segue...
...to this blog and you, my dear Guests, have been a mega huge link for me to connect with. To maintain contact with the Outside World as I have been fighting battle after battle of this War against the depressions and the Meniere's Disease and it's disgusting symptoms and sucking on an emergency inhaler to damned much and walking and tripping with a four legged cane...
...TO EVERY ONE of YOU, who have stuck your eyes in here and have offered your support. I want YOU ALL to know that YOU EACH have affected my heart, mind and Spirit's in way's that are beyond my understanding. Beyond my very vocabulary. I am forever Blessed. Seen.
I thank you.
Please, it would be an Honor if you were to celebrate this very post with me, this being the 1,000th publication of Meniere's Disease, Mario's Path. Yes, my dearest Guest's, there have been one thousand postings with the all of what and who I am. Just one year ago today, I would have never thought I would be where I am today. I am blessed and I am forever grateful to each and every one and each person who has ever stopped by to read my utterances...
...my sometimes blabbering and crying and bitterness and gladness and the blessing's too.
I thank you
I am Honored to have you all be a part of my life as I see it. As we fight this Meniere's rubbish as a Team. This life I live and how it is I walk along the Red Path of mine.
There seems to be a lack for a word that would sum up exactly what it is that I am feeling right now. I speculate that this is not a coincidence but rather a means for me to segue...
...to this blog and you, my dear Guests, have been a mega huge link for me to connect with. To maintain contact with the Outside World as I have been fighting battle after battle of this War against the depressions and the Meniere's Disease and it's disgusting symptoms and sucking on an emergency inhaler to damned much and walking and tripping with a four legged cane...
...TO EVERY ONE of YOU, who have stuck your eyes in here and have offered your support. I want YOU ALL to know that YOU EACH have affected my heart, mind and Spirit's in way's that are beyond my understanding. Beyond my very vocabulary. I am forever Blessed. Seen.
I thank you.
Three And 3/4 Hours Of Sleep And I Keep On Going And Going
I was provided an opportunity to get just about three and three quarter hours of sleep. It was such a deep sleep that I was able to visit Dream World and had three telephone messages and eight missed calls. All within that window of about four hours sleep. There were no calls on my cellular device, which is a relief because that might have been an added agitator on this topic. All of the above appear to be the story of my non-hearing skull and life. My emotions have been in battle since I awoke.
I feel somewhat rested, though there are battles going on with the emotions and these alters of mine. I have shed tears and worry myself over shit I can't control. It seems as if the post Meniere's Attack symptoms and rubbish are always the most difficult processes for me to deal with.
There were a couple of things that were not discussed with Lady S. and I during our gathering yesterday:
1. I am a person who was once diagnosed with MPD. One time even, being compared to Sybil in a room of peers and other group members.
2. The realities of the continued molestation by a person of authority, A person once trusted.
3. "Vulnerable", is the word! My vulnerability was what I was trying to share with my latest and newest therapist, Lady S. This is EXACTLY how I feel when home alone! When I am asleep and cut off from my senses. When my telephone rings so many times it goes to the recorder. I dislike being cut off from the world and the sounds that are going on out of doors. I could not share with you if someone has rang my door bell or has knocked at my front door. Or back door.
I hate the feeling of being afraid. Being OOS, Out Of Sound does that to me. It's my nature.
For those of you out here who have an idea of who I am, you all know I might talk some. I share now with Kindred who may not know me yet, that I do talk. Yes. I mean to say that I enjoy talking and speaking with people...
...I hate it with a passion when I miss calls; especially those that are return calls. These calls are a life link for me - no matter who the caller may be or the subject matter. For Shits Sake, I have taken surveys on the telephone just so I am able to have contact with someone else who talks.
Please, I say no more.
I feel somewhat rested, though there are battles going on with the emotions and these alters of mine. I have shed tears and worry myself over shit I can't control. It seems as if the post Meniere's Attack symptoms and rubbish are always the most difficult processes for me to deal with.
There were a couple of things that were not discussed with Lady S. and I during our gathering yesterday:
1. I am a person who was once diagnosed with MPD. One time even, being compared to Sybil in a room of peers and other group members.
2. The realities of the continued molestation by a person of authority, A person once trusted.
3. "Vulnerable", is the word! My vulnerability was what I was trying to share with my latest and newest therapist, Lady S. This is EXACTLY how I feel when home alone! When I am asleep and cut off from my senses. When my telephone rings so many times it goes to the recorder. I dislike being cut off from the world and the sounds that are going on out of doors. I could not share with you if someone has rang my door bell or has knocked at my front door. Or back door.
I hate the feeling of being afraid. Being OOS, Out Of Sound does that to me. It's my nature.
For those of you out here who have an idea of who I am, you all know I might talk some. I share now with Kindred who may not know me yet, that I do talk. Yes. I mean to say that I enjoy talking and speaking with people...
...I hate it with a passion when I miss calls; especially those that are return calls. These calls are a life link for me - no matter who the caller may be or the subject matter. For Shits Sake, I have taken surveys on the telephone just so I am able to have contact with someone else who talks.
Please, I say no more.
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