Meniere's Disease, Time and I

Sunday night I had the never ending roaring of junk noise going on in my Deaf Left Ear. On the Monday, I had this burst of strength and pushed too hard, tasked to much. My body remains sore and achy from what ever tasks it was I did. Or the repetitions of lifting my new fifteen pound bar bell. Bleeding bastards who manufacture these products have us by the privates, because if one wants to increase as our body say do - it's like getting penalized for wanting to get healthier and stronger as a Spirit, passing through time wanting to be a stronger Spirit. To much time from Sunday, since and through yesterday, the 18 January 2012, has been spent sleeping a chunk of my breathing life away. From the world and My Path, too. I am embarrassed about this. Looking back, I do remember feeling like this way too many times. It's as if a piece of me feels bitter about losing out on so much life and living. I still get here to this point of frustration. I guess... ...on the 17th, which was Tuesday, I listened a continuous beep that lasted for just about three hours. I sat through some of it and laid down to waive my anymore awake time. Today, the roaring of "white noise", is not deafening in my Deaf ear. It's almost as if these sounds have a pulse of their own. There has been nothing to work or anything I have tried to keep my ears peacefully still for but even a respite. Only on rare occassion will my Deaf Left Ear, provide me that repite. Yesterday, I slept much, perhaps two/three hours shy of being a twenty something hour sleep. It does not matter how I look at this. It is simply too much sleep. My body sends me off to Dream World to keep me from having to be tortured by all of the damned noises and sounds I have to listen to. Every day. Of my life. I still have not found an ear plug to be inserted from the inside out. Other than being Deaf. Nope! Because I still have the damned noises living in my head. For the exclusive use of the party/person who inhabits this body. And yes, there have been a few times when I have asked them in my company "can you here that?"... ...no and never do. Boo-Hoo. The silence comes and goes from my right ear. As it wishes. There is no good reason that I can think of for anybody's hearing should up and turn itself off out of the blue clear sky. We were not made like that, you see. There isn't an off and on switch to control that piece. The only reasoning I might think of is that the Hard of Hearing on the right ear is getting worse. Speaking of which, this has been especially problematic over the past few months and really poor over the past week or so. Progressively worse. This is in fact, an issue that has been a part of the Meniere's Disease, that's alive in my skull and dwelling within my ear's. The nausea is at a medium high today. Like mid-throat and in my case just above the area I can not touch with my longest finger. It does not help the cause when I listen to my bride, hurling in the restroom. She had to come home early today due to the nausea and a case of the liquid bowels. That's a crappy scenerio right there, I say out of a true empathy. Oddly enough, I'll have to say honestly that I'll keep what's going on with-in me. At least I know what is creating my gagging... ...the dizziness that is alway's on my mind and in my head. I have no choice but to Thank God, for my quad cane and walker. On the easy dizzy day's I do as much as I can while I feel "straight", and do attempt to task or do crafts and cermony. There have been times this week when I've been too dizzy to walk or have had to deal with the loss of coordination and balance issues. I've got scratches and am brused. The Human Bumper Car has been hanging around. The Bastard. The Worms have been very active this week. I am taking medication as ordered, yet these sensations continue. This is one of the queerest things I've had to deal with. Have the left side of my head just up and feel as if there's Earth Worms living under the hair root's... ...please, this shit ain't normal, Honey. Speaking of medications, I take them all. Every last cute and pretty one. Every good damned day. And yes, I meant to say good damned day. I have realized I must maintain a good damned attitude about these pills and capsules I eat. I am alive today. I woke up this morning. Some Folk's didn't.... ...so maybe even with all of the sweating and this ring around my collar, and the nausea, dizziness and all of the shit that goes on with this Meniere's Disease, I am above ground. Which may even make for an awesome day. Nice, a good damned awesome day! I send peaceful thoughts and a hope and wish you too have a good damned awesome day! Today, I shall say it's about good damned time. John Wayne! Get your ass over here it's time to get ready for a stroll! What? Oh yes, in case you have not been introduced, John Wayne is my Warrior Pony with beautiful markings and can run for miles and miles with out rest. He's my friend too. We speak often as I brush him down. Okay.... This is all.