Salutation's, to all who have come for a wee bit of reading. Will try to be brief as I - really don't know how much I'll share. I'll simply say that this will in fact be The State of The State of The Self Address
Simple enough and then now I move on...
This menerie's is really trying to mess up an other-wise awesome and brilliant rainy and dreary and cool Florida Winter's afternoon.
I am burping and reminding myself that burping does really help in the combat of nausea. I believe in my Spirit's that this assist's me from hurling, projectile vomitage, sore throats from fighting the urge to expell the contents of my stomach, and perhaps then the worst of all is the "creep" up into my mouth. Yes. I know this is an unpleasent expression of these sypmtom's of Meniere's Disease, but I live with it every day. In the morning, noon and night. So, I burp like a Greek Seaman and I very often if not alway's, beg my pardon.
Despite the cooling of the weather and rain I am sitting hear with a ring around my collar. My shirt collar that is, I gave up leather decades ago.
But anyway's, I am between perspiration and a fine misting. So yes, there is a discomfort of the physical appearance and the emotional aspect. Yet, please, let me share that I would consider today a pleasent day compared to day's when and where, I am but a sweating white water buffalo. I don't know. Nor understand. I simply do as my Right, Good Dr. He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, say's do and I am learning to go with the flow with all of my Better State of Health and Emotional Status Provider's...
...Meniere's has been a part of my life and an uninvited guest with-in my skull and reside's here in my ear's. Over four years, en'it? There were no invitations. Mr. and Mrs. Meniere's Disease do not live rent free. Only God, knows how much money has gone onto and into my skull. Dig?
Which brings me to my dizziness, which is going at a soft pace at this moment. I am appreciative of this and consider this a Blessing. There are just an unimaginable amount of day's when it is necessary I park my butt on the sofa or lay down on my bed to ride it out. I try to man it up, you see? I am feeling as if I have just left a cocktail party and am a bit tipsy from the bubbly kind of dizzy. Failed to mention the everyday-ness of this mess...
...my Deaf Left Ear has been very active all damned day. At this moment I am listening to a hectic ticking. Sound's as if someone is sending off a message in Morris Code. Tick-tickity-tick-tick-tick, sounds like a distressed top secret submarine off the coast of The Faulkland Island's...
...earlier, in today's late morning I was listening to the Rail Road Crossing Warning, go ding-ding-ding-ding and on and so on and all of this sounded as if this Crossing was in my back yard. Just on and on. For a spell I suspected I was having an attack. So gladly, nothing become of it. Other than a frustrated fellow. Yet, I am sometimes entertained by the things I hear or don't hear in a Deaf ear. Which bring's me to my Right-Good-Bad-Ear. Today has been off and on and if I had to mark a grade I would provide a C+. There have been moment's of total silence, which is nothing new for me and my ear. The sound's with-in my right ear have been semi-active as I have listened to the sounds of the Everglade's at Dawn, and have enjoyed some peaceful natural silence...
...that's when I listen as hard as I might to listen to the simple things. Thing's such as my hound's tap-tapping on the Turkish tiled floor of our lodge. Or the difference between them as this lap up their water - they all have different sounds or as I like to refer to as their own beat of drinking. Was able to hear the Sea Gull out in the preserve and listened to two Crow holla at each other. The soft sound of my wife's voice when she calls in to check on me. The voice's of my daughter's remain as they spoke when wee little and young teen's. Oh, this daddy heart of mine.
Please, can't you see, I must make short sort's of humour with all of these symptoms. All of which are thing's I and so many of us take for granted in our day to day routines. I know very damned well. I sure did! Running is one of them! I can't drive my Peaceful Traveler anymore. My auto is now my wife's. Am deaf in one and half in the other. And all of these damed sypmtoms from the meniere's. This is a sad and disturbing story from my perspective...
...I feel like the American Bald Eagle at Busch Garden's Tampa, chained to my perch. In my case, I am chained to my own inner thought's and process's. This exile has choaked me to the point of having to make some serious decisions. I lost independance over four years ago and that's a mighty long time to have One's feathers cut. Never figured my life and My Path, could or would have ever been affected as it has. But then, what can you do when you live in a shoe?
I'm not sure, but I am damned sure I am doing my best to regain my independance from this medically imposed excile. This is too long coming. I know. Have applied for transportation on our transit system. I feel it in my bones.
I must "holla" at my brother from another mother, Brother Two Socks! Your telephone call was simply awesome! Thank you, thank you, and then thank you again! I am truyly amazed at how Great Spirit Blessed our day and connection. Simply, awesome.
Remember, I promised I would introduce and use that wonderful term, awesome as much as possible. I have and have stressed not to over do it, but there sure is something going on today that feels so good...
...awesome!
Note: Yes, there was a time back in the mid '00's when I called myself the White Water Buffalo. Ha!
Love, peace and more peace, please.
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