Visited with my Dr. N., this morning. I left there feeling about the same as I did on the way in. I gave the past week a three, on a level of one - ten. This very whole depression shit is so depressing that I surprise myself sometimes...
...surprised at the will to survive. My inner strength and the knowledge of knowing what peace feels like that keeps me walking my Path. It's like a mandatory thing for me in this life to face adversity - no matter how cruel or how abusive the scenerio may have been or may be. I am here today.
And yes, today would in fact be a good day to die, but with the thunder heading this way and the rains that will come with it, today is also a good day to be alive.
Brenda is home recovering from this menace of an illness. She's sleeping at the moment and I do hope she'll hear the thunder the next time she roles over to a cooler spot on the linen. My dearest...
My eldest shared with me this morning that she'll leave here for the U.A.E., on 04 August 2011. As one who has enjoyed many an adventurous journey, I am so damned excited for her. She has made me a very proud man and father...
...it's the Daddy's Heart thing that struck me this morning. My Daddy Heart is going to have a bloody fit come August! And I know this. I believe this will also be a grand undertaking for the four of us as a family unit. Oh, My Dear Lord, a father's lament.
As far as I and I, I spoke with the assistant to He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, this morning. Described the Meniere's attack from Monday, the new symptom and what the post attack sypmtoms have been like. At this moment, 1440, I am dizzy, nauseated with no vomitting, sweating and perspiring, with an underlying sadness I have been unable to defeat. Have had muscle spasms on the left side of my face. My scalp is sweating for shit's sake. My SSD aka my Deaf Left ear is listening to the sounds of the Everglades at mid-night on a full Moon. These sumbitchin' crickets, frogs and gator's are going to get the best of me someday. Huh? My Right-Good-Bad ear has been hearing more voices AND yes, I did share that with Dr. N., aka, Dr. Psych. Moments of silence come about intermittently. Look, it's come to a point where I hardly pay this much of any mind. Shit, it's like really working my mind to deaf...ya know? I could be reading, eating, whatever's and once that silence hit's - I listen to the silence and wait. What else to do? My worms were active this morning. I suspect their napping...
...like I will in just a wee bit.
K-Lo! I have continued doing the exercises you taught me! Thanks Dude!
Relations, I am blessed to have our Path's cross.
I'll continue to Walk my Path...
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