Kinfolk, Kindred and Kind One's,
Well, hello, my name is Mario and I would like to welcome you to what is between these three ears of mine and the matter in my skull. A place where I go when I really want to kick my shoes off and sit back inside my mind a spell, just a little while maybe, I don't know. I just know that I have the distraction's of Meniere's Disease and it's many symptoms - stomping up on my back side/butt/ass. Driving me mad.
The sounds and noises remain active tonight and are very loud and irritating. I removed myself from my safe place to deal with these symptoms somewhere other than my bed and little corner. Should I remain in bed, it is a long and dreadful stretch until I would drift off to Dream World. There have been occasion's when I have remained in the dark until 0300 or 0400 dealing-or-not-dealing with the sounds and noises. At this moment I am listening to a radar sonar sound that reminds me of the old Navy movies I watched as a child. American propaganda, home made in Hollywood, U.S.A. Stop. Any ways, that's what I hear in my right good bad ear. The one that soon requires a hearing aid. If I shared that I am afraid of a hearing aid, would you laugh at me? Well, I am.
The lumps remain near and on my BAHA, the Bone Anchored Hearing Aid site, with some drainage. The one just inside my hair line remains. I am pleased to report that with antibiotic medication by mouth and compounds for the lumps, there has been some progress. A fortunate and pleasing progress. At this moment, the left side of my skull is hurting bad at a x7, while it is my shoulder and upper arm hurt a +8...
...I swear, I wish I could find one with hands the strength of Hercules, and I would beg Hercules, please Sir, please, would you reach between my scalp and skull and massage the pain away? Please? I silently scream in pain! I would get on my knees and beg to have Hercules reach between my flesh, muscle and skeleton to massage them in my left neck, shoulder and arm. I would ask that Hercules not be concerned should I cry, as I am in need of having these areas of my body manipulated in a physical and therapeutic manner. Should I cry, let me be.
Please, my Dearest Hercules, I ask of you these favor's, please?
The nausea has been between medium and high all day and I had the misfortune of vomiting into my mouth earlier this evening. The perspiration around my neck and chest collects on my green t-shirt, the area around the top of my skull is misting enough that it moistens a paper towel when I brush it across. I feel the air conditioner share its cool breeze as it travels across the room, yet I sit here and sweat, perspire, and mist. I have the sensation that the nausea is being stored immediately beneath my Adam's apple and I feel that I could hurl chunks of my dinner at any moment. The only reason I know the evening meal is still near by is because of the burps that aid me in combating the nausea. Sometimes tasting it twice is not so nice. For shits sake it is gross.
The Spiders that live in my scalp have been active and have scurried about the left side of my scalp too many times to remember at the minute. Once, was while I was in the garage looking for a light bulb and I felt what I thought was a damned spider falling on me. Damn it, that right there scared me enough to let out a holler. And, oh yes I did. No shit. While the worms lay dormant.
My balance and coordination have been way off. Too much of my day has been with stumbles, bumping into walls and furniture. I did not venture out of doors today due to my fear of falling. The morrow yes, I will give getting out side a fair try. By the way, I would like to share that the Fire Inspector's found our lodge a safe place to navigate and the windows large enough for evacuation if necessary. I was pleased to see that he noticed the path way from one edge of our home to the other. It was created with a purpose. The dizziness is like a tipsy over three champagne. Just enough to create an occasional stumble or to kick my own quad cane thrice or the need to lay my head back and gather my thoughts and nerves. I am horrified of falling.
There continues to be major politics over the new medication that the Nuero Doctor wanted to order for me. I have now my Primary on line pursuing the what-needs-to-get-done, while the clinic at the Tampa General Hospital has not maintained communications. I called today as the patient, soon, I suspect the time will come for the involvement of an advocate. This has gone on for weeks and I am really getting to the point where I am about to say, "fuck it". If I haven't had this medication before and don't know what the medication would do for me, well, in this case it is getting mighty close to 'what I don't now, won't hurt me". For fucks sake, these are some of my Team Mates, and why there has been so many issues and non-communicating that I will ensure my next visit for Botox injections will include a conversation with She-With-Many-Names. My face to her face. These are my diseases - this is my stuff. And shit. It is time. Besides, as I mentioned just a bit ago, I am on a new oral antibiotic. This particular one is very handsome and is as blue as the blue clear sky. It is a glass capsule and it shatters when it lands in my stomach, where it smashes into one billion pieces of glass that shreds my innards and gives me the gas, so bad, I just might bottle and sell this as a form of petroleum. Whew! Damn it, whew! Baby, this just can't be coming from my tush!
Enough! I have no more to say except, good morning to my daughter's both, over there in a land far and so afar away. I pray, Great Spirit, protect my Warrior Daughter's. Amen.
God Bless Oklahoma! God Bless Syria! God Bless America!
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