When I rose from bed this morning, it was the ending of a sleep that had taken me on a twenty-eight to thirty hour sleep, this that has tagged along to make it plus sixty hours since I was ambushed by this Meniere's, vertigo attack in the middle of the week. In these twenty eight or so hours I got up once to pass fluids, but other than that, no activity at all. I had been in a sleep induced fast until this afternoon, when my Eldest Sister, Anna Lou Lynn Blue and I, had caffe con leche and some of that damned good Cuban bread with Swiss cheese at a local cruising place, "Las Theresita", over there back in the other West Tampa. Had it pressed hot too, with a dash of hot sauce and a hot glass of coffee and I was breaking that damned fast with a smile and laugh or two with that crazy sister of mine. Claude have mercy! She is a mess, but that's my sista-from-the-same-mista-and mama too. What can you do when you live in a shoe?
Keep on keepin' on. That's what.
Blue had come across county to pick me up for my trip to the Radiology House to get my MRI and have these two knee's x-rayed. Folk's, I hate to tell you, but these radiology people put my big ass in head first into that damned MRI. I don't know if I've mentioned this or not, so let me share now these two facts, I am claustrophobic, bad, so I took a medication prior to arrival, I am six foot, two inches tall and weigh, let me say, +255 pounds, but less that two hundred sixty-five.Yes, I'm back on the losing side of the battle of with my weight. (No, I wasn't going to say, 'my Battle of the Bulge". I couldn't do that. In my heart that would be a disrespect to all of the soldier's killed during that battle.) I felt very much like the meat in the casing of an Italian sausage or the stuffing of one of them Jewish Hot Dogs and I could go on, you know, but I won't. It was just really necessary I have these done for my newest team mate, my Dr. Rhrumatologist. If not for this needing to get up, I reckon I would still be in bed asleep to my world. I also speculate that this is why I was unable to sit with my nephews a spell yesterday. Sit a spell so my baby sister, Phantasialistic and my brother-in-law, Bil, could attend our dear Aunt's funeral. It is bad enough that this cowboy knows that I missed my Tia's gathering. My heart hurts. I am also sad that I missed two more calls yesterday. With three telephone ringing devices, in my area. So, for me it's no wonder, I wouldn't have made such a good sitter, out-like-a-light and sound asleep. Damn it.
My plans are to remain awake as long as possible, I want to spend some time with my dearest wife, Belguimeenia. I love her to deaf, and I haven't had a talk with my baby's mama in a couple of days and for shits sake. We live under the same roof even, just been in two different places, en`it? This is one of those things that hurt my Spirit's the most, my dearest One, goes off everyday to her job and she works hard, while my big gimpy-goofy-humongous ass sleeps from one day too many. I know what I meant to say, I hope you too might understand.
Since out of bed, I have had a constant beep from my deaf left ear. Constant with interval's, like this, "beep", then I wait a few seconds, and another "beep", then on and on and so on. My right good bad ear has been feeling dumb since I had that MRI earlier. I hear with it, but there seems to be an odd painful hollowness. I must just have to say the beeping from my left ear is maddening and today I am able to witness that this is genuinely inhumane, and could very well be used as a form of torture. I pick up the sounds from my cousins Ranch. The cricket's out there this time of early evening, the cicadas that must be two yards high, frogs and all the other creatures that live along side the ranch that is protected as wetlands. My heart is happy for my Cowgirl Cousin, up there West of Bellamy Highway. I know her Dad, my cousin Armando, sure would be proud of his daughter and love that beautiful Grand Baby Cowgirl to deaf too! I sure do miss you Cousin.
I don't know why, but I still think it strange how it is I associate these sounds or noises with other things in life, places, folks, wild life, and all of what-the-hell I have listened to over the past few years. Not too much surprises me anymore, even though, there are times when I hear shit that's not really there and it scares me to deaf anyway. I still do react with a start when my right ear "POP's". I mean to tell you, when that happens I'm going to spill tea or coffee, or swallow something awkwardly, or pass milk from my nostrils - some shit is going to happen when an ear that is hard of hearing pops so loud that it can scare.
Nausea has been uncomfortable since I broke fast, and I had the misfortune of tasting my coffee twice, an hour or two after I drank it. Coffee and hot sauce doesn't go too well on the way back up. No. The nausea rests in my upper chest and has held still for a bit. Thankfully.
I have sweat too much today, all day. Honey please, you should've seen me in that damned coffin shaped piece of horrifying equipment. I came out a mess and yes, I said my prayer's while tucked and forced into a mechanical casing. I was it's meat. I hate those feckin' things!
The left side of my skull hurts. The lump immediately next to my BAHA implant remains. For some reason it is still swollen and the wound weeps. It is the same that is where the spiders and worms live. They crawl and scurry about between my scalp and skull and I have wished that their shit would fertilize my hair. I want to bring "Afro Back". I have noticed that I begun to feel pains and discomfort's on the right side of my skull, no way like the left, but this is new.
My body and it's entirety, innards and all, are still sore and bruised. Not as bad as a few days ago, but sore. I sit here and think how good that bed would feel under this skin of mine, but I will not succumb to the call of Meniere's Disease. How can I be so sleepy and have slept so damned much?
Oh, wait! I have decided to go with my Internists advice on having a Sleep Study done. She is the third physician to recommend this procedure. These sleeping not-so-happily ever after slumbers, could ought to be studied. I called and left a message earlier today, left a message with my Doctor's Head Nurse and expect a call from her come Tuesday. My Neurologist, Her-With-Many-Names, recommended it highly, her assistant has even arranged an appointment for me at the general hospital, but I would have to wait until July. My Internist and Team can get this done sooner.
I'm with he better now that later team.
I will be connecting with my therapist Sir Dude, Tuesday, for an appointment. I will also be connecting with My Advocate and my Counselor. I think I would like to have some tea with my therapist and get my talk on. I am feeling out of the loop. I'm missing the connect too.
I have no more to say.
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