Relations,
When the hearing in my right ear comes to a stop - all of life as I know it comes to an immediate stop.
I stop whatever it is I am doing.
My train of thought and the processes of thinking are thrown totally off. So I stand and wait.
Or sit and wait.
Or I lay there and wait...
...and I listen to the silence. And wait.
I am exhausted from this crazy making.
I am troubled and I share that what troubles me so much is the not knowing.
Waiting and not knowing if my hearing will return.
What troubles me more and even more is that my doctor is not knowing. I reckon more than anything else, knowing that my doctor doesn't know what is creating these gaps and moments of silence, that seem to last forever, cuts to the white meat. When I go out of sound, I have noticed that I usually look around my environment. As if I am looking for my hearing. I don't know why. I have no reasonable way of responding presently to the "what ifs". For now, all I can do is enjoy the hearing I do have. Hope. Pray. And I wait.
The entirety of silence is all encompassing. I know this.
P.S. Meniere's Sucks!
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