I Wish You Knew

I have laid down to rest and slumber and have failed. The noises in my ears are so too loud and my mind seems to be running as fast as a Cheetah. Not spinning like Meniere's spinning but seemingly spinning my tires within. I try to calm myself and ease the thoughts and emotions that were so brilliantly stirred today. Seems as if I am still running on the energies rendered from such an awesome and productive day. My good-goodness, what an awesome and blessed day today was. Oh my dearest Kindred, I wish you knew how much I remember just too well how this was routine for me. Waking every morning looking forward to going to my fantastic job that wasn't a job with Starbucks Coffee Company, to connect with and take care of one another as we took care of our customers. God, knows how much I miss this being a part of my life. And really, I don't know so much anymore if Starbucks will have anything for me in my future. My future is something I have had to let go and let my God take the wheel. Best this way for me.

I wish you all could know how much I sorely miss the inter-actions with the people's of this World. Just how much I miss the hug of a member of my Kinfolk or Kindred or even the hug of a complete stranger. I give you my word based on experience that there is an exchange of energy when two humans connect in such a way. My Spirit's tell me this is good medicine. I need so much more of this medicine. I can remember the hugs, love and respect of so many, you see. This process that was started today is because of the commitment to my Business Plan, yes, but perhaps even more so to have me be provided an opportunity to serve my community once again. Please, Great One, in some capacity that may suit what it is that You, will for me, my family and my future as an active member of society. As it is your Will, not mine.

It is my business to take care of my health. It is my business to take care of mind, body and Spirit's and it surly is my business to be as motivated as I have been for so many years of my life. To thrive. To learn. To love. These past few years of exile have been difficult and I know that I am not "all systems clear" and may never be for all I know, but let me share this with you, my reader, I speak often of pushing that proverbial envelope and pushing it as far and as hard as I might muster....

...I'll never know how too far is until I get there. In the mean time, I have this business plan to work. Seriously, I wish you knew.

I have nothing else to say.