I have not felt myself so much these past few days - not since I saw He-Who-Touched-My-Brain. It is He who asked that I see my Neurologist and just knowing that I will be in Dr. Neuro's office one week from today creates a hard to describe discomfort in my energy. I have indeed read and re-read literature based on the subject of the latest Diagnosis of Migraines. I don't know why I have let this affect me in such a manner. I'm not confused, as it is that I am more perplexed. Puzzled? Yes, I have read these words about this subject and yes, it amazes me to see so many parallels and intertwining. I see very well with my four eyes and sense in my Center that there is a possibility of having both...
...I have never considered the possibility and for that matter would not, how can I say, establish with my doctor that no, I do not have migraines and never had migraines. I never had the crushing head pains or the extreme issues with bright light. Never! But, I read words which describe symptoms that dwell within me. Those symptoms that have joined forces with the symptoms of the Bi-lateral Meniere's, these symptom's known to be associated with the COPD, PTSD, High Blood Pressure, Depression, Sugar Diabetes, Hypo/Hyper Thyroid, High Anxiety, SSD - Single Side Deaf, when processor is not in, Asthma, an occasional removal of a lump of the cancer from my skin and or body and or private part. And so on and then, and so on. And what?
Oh God, yes this has me all bent up inside and side-ways to boot. I don't know whether to cry or run around in circles! Hush, I might do it if I try. I have a four legged cane so I would have that as my center to hop/skip/run/dash/walk around. Sadly, yes, I have withdrawn some since that visit on 25 October. Yes, there is a sadness and yes, there is an anger and yes, there is a madness that festers within.
By the way, I have a new and yet another medication to share with you, that is, Topiramate @ whatever miligrammage it may be prescribed and they're called Sprinkle Capsules. All pretty and white as creme with petty little black numbers and letters. NOTE: Since I began this medication, I wake up with extreme neck and head pain. Such things I might imagine one suffering from migraines would experience if they had the migraines. I truly don't know. I know this medication to be an anti convulsion. Well, I see that I'm all clear on the convulsing piece now.
I am nauseated at a high seven at the moment - I have thrown up in last two days. I am dizzy at about the same rate. I perspire. Both ears are active with noises and sounds and there must be a giant bee hive in the attic because I am listening to thousands of bees. I am careful with my steps.
My coordination is off a spell. Hallucinations, these noises and sounds are called because the brain must find something to hear or listen to. I have read my own He-Who-Touched-My-Brain's word describing these as such. My therapist Sir Dude, had called it audio hallucinations from long ago. Doctor, please, let me keep the anomaly term too...
...being an anomaly justifies me hearing and 'listening' to these brain created hallucination's. Know what I mean?
Ya-Hey, you all, I am okay. I am just in a peculiar spot, that's all. I mean, who wants to have yet another diagnosis attached to their name and medical records. I am not the one, but don't it seem like shit keeps getting piled up 'round here?
I'll be okay - you be okay. You all are my Relations, be well. I'll do my damnedest to be well too.
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