Dearest Relations,
This Monday recently passed, while in the after noon and out back with my Italian Cypress garden, what I experienced when my world came to a stop was in fact an attack of the Meniere's...
...I knew in my core this was an attack, but I disregarded it and tried to brush it off. I suppose in it's own way and process' I was punished for such disrespect. Since Monday after noon, I have been in a world of sleep, slumber and dreams. Having slept in the arena of fifty plus hours. Today is a splendidly dark grey and gloomy day that fits nicely against my skin. And wraps about my neck and skull with cool kisses of attempts to ease the discomforts within.
If I had known then what a powerful attack had crossed my path, I would have immediately tidied up and went to lay down. As is my normal routine. There was something within that wanted me to keep pushing forward and through what I was feeling. No matter the dizziness, nausea, sweating and discomforts associated with my post vertigo attacks. There was something deeply moved about when my world came to a halt and in that something, the way my very breathe was taken from my lungs. I have come to realize that I heard no noises or sound during this brief encounter. Not a bird, plane or car, and if not for my dear hound and friend, Ting-Ting, I am not sure where I was heading. Her kisses and licking my arms brought me back down to Mars. I know this much and steadfastly this afternoon, I don't have that much curiosity as to see what or where I was headed within this skull when my world came to a stop. No I don't, and it troubles me none the least.
Over these fifty-plus hours of sleep, I couldn't wait for Brenda to get home. She's my Live In Nurse, Doctor, aka 'Bostwana', my Sweet Heart, The-Pain-In-The-Ass and my dearest Wife. I love her to deaf. I swear I do. It is when Botswana is home I am able to sleep in a different place and experience a deeper state of REM. There isn't any doubt about this observation - when she is at work I am and feel vulnerable. Seen. True, I have the three hounds here with me and I am knowing they would alert me to any issue, yet the sleep is on a different plain. Sometimes deep sleep, while sometimes drifting along in a neither world. Either which-of-way's, I am in a gloomy state of mind and I'm feckin' fine with it. I get these strange sensation's during these times of neither worlds of post Meniere's Disease Vertigo Attacks. The sleep is with me morning, noon and night and blocks of hours come and go. Maybe I eat - maybe I won't. I noticed that I only missed one dosage of medication's over the past couple of days. Enough about the sleep. Dream World is a place all it's own.
During these past few day's I have lost five pounds and that's all I have to say about that.
I observed too many noises and sounds to recall. From deafening acres and acres of untouched North Carolina Mountain Top Woodland's in the hour before dusk. Every bird, every insect and every fellow Earth creature has something to say. There was no breaking of these sounds for well over an hour. Last night, I heard and listened to what sounded like a giant multi personnel carrier helicopter just above my roof top. I just laid there and listened while looking at my ceiling, thinking if this bloody ship was for real, our lives would be in jeopardy. There would be no reason for the Marines to be hoovering over my lodge - unless some shit was about to happen. This horribly loud hoovering noise lasted for twenty or so minutes.
There has been much activity with the Maris Code. In both ears, but mostly in the deaf left one. I don't know, please don't ask. I do say though the activity has been plentiful. Too much chaos! Beeeeeeeeep-beeeeeeeeeeeep-beep-beeeeeeeeeeepity-beep-beep! Long and loud and clear! No! This shit isn't forking "ringing"! Don't freaking tell me that I listen to the 'ringing'! Fuck that! Just please, don't ask if I hear ringing? Just don't. These noises make me wish for ringing. Can't you see?
On a peculiarly positive note, there has been no spider or worm activity since Monday late noon.
I'll share that my hearing has been an accumulation's of very highs and very lows. So low, there were times of absolute and total silence. The "NEW" silence I have experienced. And then there's the silence I have had with the quietude of the silence. When and where I am okay with this. There were times when the volume was set on high and my hearing became sensitive to sound.
The nausea and dizziness have been omni-present. Simply stated, non-productive nausea with enough of a presence to be problematic. The dizziness has been as if I wear a hat of dizziness. My throat sore and my voice hoarse from the nausea. The balance and coordination piece is off. I am awkward enough as it is, for Pete's-Damn-Sake.
Ting-Ting, has been by my side during the majority of these past few days. Always guarding and protecting me and on occasion sleeping next to me. Bless her heart. What an angelic and incredible presence she carries...
...my guardian angel is awesome!
Think I'll return to slumber. God Bless Syria! God Bless America! I am finished.
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