Yes, It's True, U.S. Army, It's About Time!

After thirty two years or so, I am able to walk and sleep a bit easier in these wrappings called my humanness, my skin. Even let's say, I slept well over thirty hours since Tuesday past.

These past couple of days I seem to have been able to stand a bit taller in this 6'2" body of mine...

...these size 12's...

...even with my four legged walking stick or when I was asleep. I knew.

Oh, yes. It is true. Although I have often played the ambiguous one, I never once spoke aloud anything to do with sexual orientaion. There were many years I lived my days speaking with a careless tongue. But not in the U.S. Army, 1978-1979. I lived a good life and enjoyed the military very much. I did have a very close brief relationship with one fellow Soldier. Clandistine would be to minimize what we had to go through for one another.

There are memories I will never forget about, The Crew and I and our adventures. I remember very much and am pleased I kept these memories near by. I was a well known fellow Soldier around the base and had a reputation to uphold. The go-to dude. The Team Player. If a brother or sister needed a hand or a buck to loan, I was there. I still have a Life Long friend who lives amongst the Creek NDN's, who was stationed with me in Darmstadt, West Germany.

It was here I experianced one of the greatest betrayals of a life long. A WOman of rank higher than mine, who I thought at the time was my friend, started a "rumour" that I was Gay. Real quick like, let me share, when I had HQ Watch (mind the telephone's - take reports etc.), I would often sew or create pillows for friends. I will never forget her name and have yet to forgive her. Just as I have had extreme difficulty forgiving my Life Long friend, who was having relations with this WOman. He who enjoyed much fun at calling me fag, faggot or Gay, etc., "Once" I was discharged. Even years after I was discharged from MY U.S. Army, he would belittle me and make sexual insults. Please, I know and I don't know why I invited the verbal rubbish. I just did...

...he's my Life Long friend.

Wait a moment please, as I do not wish to convey this communique in any way a trumpet or big talk - I say these words humbly. With Grace. These words are intended in such a way, with TRUTH only, being tip-tapped on these keys. It's just that NOW after all of these years, there is a certainty I am able to release some strings I've held on to so tightly, for so many fucking years. In my Spirit's, it is now I am FREE to let all of that shit go. I have forgiven my U.S. Army. Sometimes, I think about the what if's...

My Dear God. My Great Spirit, knows what this life has been like for I and I. For me to get to a place in life where I am able to release these strings decades old, is the release of torment and vexation. This is a victory of a warrior. Oh, Great One, clear me of the neagtive energies that remain. Great One, Thank You.

I am permitted to say TODAY, with PRIDE that I served in this U.S. Army. I joined to enter in January 1978. Went in baby green as a Private. Period no stripes. And by the time I made it to Germany, in the Winter of "78, I was a good damn soldier and a Private E-2, two stripes. I was damn near fearless, as I would have done and did whatever I had to for my damned best of freinds and fellow soldiers. I practiced my M-16, learned to fire an M-60 and shit, I threw gernades like baseballs. That's just the way we rolled back them. And, Lord, how I do miss those brothers and sisters of mine. Even met a young Mexican soldier with the very same name as mine.

While stationed there I was able to travel about West Germany exclusively. I say that because my Army had me thinking there we're spies by the dozen out there and having a Secret Clearance made me think that I would get kid-napped or some dreadful such and such. So, we traveled all about the West of Germany. Visiting places like Bavaria, Frankfort, Stuttgart and so many other cities, towns, and villages. German food and BEER! What a time!

It's odd how now I recognize that all of those in my Circle were straight as far as I knew. The subjuect just never came up.

On the 26th Day of February 1979, I recieved a Certificate of Commendation, from The 440th Signal Battalion, signed by Benjamin L. Donaldson, Lieutenant Colonel, Signal Corps Commanding. If there is anyone who would like to read what was writen about me - I would be more than glad to share. Shortly after this, I received my promotion to Private First Class. Three stripes. What an Honor.

It was sometime during that Winter of 1978-1979 that I was assaulted by a Sergeant while I was in a steam sauna. I never reported the incident. To who or whom? I never said anything to anybody or anyone. I was ashamed and scared and never did go back to the steam sauna...

...weeks later the "rumour" got started. My First Sergeant confronted me in his office about being a "fag"/"faggot". Words were screamed and things were said, I disobeyed a Direct Order to Halt, I walked off and down three stair case and landings screaming at the top of my lungs "First Sergeant, called me a faggot"...as he screamed his orders - I kept walking...

...he might have just as well slit my throat that day.

Because I was stationed in Darmstadt, the military paid for my solo transport to see therapists and psychiatrists in Frankfort to determine whether I was "Homosexual". There were times I was the only one on the whole big green bus. How shaming. I had an ulcer removed from my throat sometime in this period. Had totally lost my voice. Oh yes, there was never a determination...

...five months later, in July, the Summer of 1979, I received an Honorable Discharge, as a Private First Class...

...discharged on the basis of a rumor.

As I learned to forgive my U.S. Army, I pray a day will come when I am able to forgive She-Who-Started-Rumours and He-My-Life-Long-Friend. If not fuck 'em.

To all members of our Armed Forces, I congratulate you. From One Brother to my Military Brother's and Sister's around our Earth Mother, congratulations!

Army Lt. Col. Michael D. Jason posted on his FaceBook: "Don't Ask Don't Tell' repealed today. The American citizen has asked some of us to fight for them. We volunteered. Now, as proclaimed by law, stay out of my Soldier's bedrooms. About time"

I was a Volunteer back then...

and yes. About time.



...I simply feel that I must take a few days to truly absorb the release of this beast of burden. Breath in an inhale of releif for all of my Sister's and Brother's who are soldiers, sailors (seaman), Marines, and airmen who are Gay, Lesbian, or Bisexual.

Thank you Great Spirit! Thank you to The One God!