Have been trying to sleep this evening. I don't think it's because of the hours slept earlier, but I am having a task with it. I feel certain it's a combination of things...
...the noises in both ears are driving me mad for one damn thing. Yes, I have taken my pretty in pink little pills.
My Daddy Heart, through the tears, whispers in my right inner ear, "hush Dad, your daughter is doing well and will do just fine." I am hard of hearing and do not hear what it is that is being said. I just feel the heaviness in this fifty one year old man's heart. Nikki, has occupied and has been a big huge piece of my days here on Earth Mother. Remember, I recently shared that she'll soon be thirty years of age. Only five weeks have seperated us and these bones tell me other-wise. Alas, what can I say or do? My child is a thirty year old woman. One of which I miss in unexplainable terms. So I won't try. I love you daugheter!
Verde!
Think certainly the meniere's is playing games with this infection, and or maybe it's the infection playing games with the meniere's disease. I do not know. I am positive that I am sorry for sleeping as much as I did earlier. I wanted to spend time with my bride and youngest daughter. Also passed on a visit from my little sister and my two lil' buds, Bubba and Tong Tong. I have NEVER passed on a visit with my nephews. I really didn't want to sleep. I had too. This sleep broke a small streak where I did no day time sleeping at all. Time to get back on John Wayne and get going.
Today was a difficult scenerio. I have been dizzy, nauseated, mistings, perspiration and sweats, coughing with productivity, the sounds, voices and noises. I fell forward off my toilet bashing my head onto the wall. The worms have played off and on, the pains in my head and neck assist in keeping me awake. I would bet cash I have sinus' in the back of my head. The pain is there. It's also in my ears, behind my left eye orb. My nose bled earlier today for a bit. It's late - I usually get one once a month. I feel my teeth and my face still looks swollen. It looks as if I have two black eyes. I am exhausted and beaten...
...and there's a certain bit of depression that has reminded me that it still lives here with-in me.
So I slept. Not for too long or much. I don't think. But slept.
The September 11 memorial's were extraordinary. Yes I cryed earlier today too. I cried for those who were murdered by the orders of Bin's Ass Was Laden To Rest, after his dog bastard ass was shot. I shed tears for all of our troops who have been killed over in the Middle East. Tears for all the mom's, dads, wives, brother's, sister's, and children of all who have been killed in these war's. I pray for them over there right now...
...have always had a distaste for the term 9/11. The date is 11 September or Septrmber 11. Every freaking time I notice or see the clock read 0911 - I am reminded of the attacks on our country. My country. So I pray.
I pray for all Relations tonight. Yes, Kinfolk too. I guess one of the things Kinfolk do is do what Kinfolks do. Whatever it is or is not.
Love and peace to all.
It's my nature.
It's also my nature to speak truths. The Path I travel is One where those who tell tall tales are not welcomed. Don't play with my emotions and I will steer clear from you and your multi-faced way of being. My Energies and Spirit's are exhausted of the lack of understanding I recieve from my very own Kinfolk. Yes, yack-yack-yack, it still goes on. And I really don't know why it still hurts so deeply when Kinfolk play such childish games. I don't need to specify or say names. One thing I will say is this -I have always considered blood thicker than water. If and when you should read these words, you multi-faced and ignorant ones, will know I speak of you. You look into my face, we break bread, we bleed same blood and there is less support from you than the wonderful support I receive from Kindred Relations around Earth Mother. Thanks to you all. I have always considered Relations a word that includes my kinfolk. I don't know for much longer. If the truth smells bad to you then cover both your nose's.
I have always enjoyed connecting this blogg to my Face Book. It makes access easier for all Relations. All I've ever tried to do is share with Relations how and what this Meniere's Disease has and is doing to my life.
And all those other things I may say and or share. Pray for others.
It's in my nature.
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