Kind One's,
The howl of a Wolf stirred me from my slumber, the howl so vivid and crystal clear, so I stayed there laying in my safe place, and listened closely to the howl, as I also listened to a deep humming sound from out side my window. No, maybe it was more of a deep whoooooom, and please, do accept my apologies for stretching out the whooooom's, that comes from my left deaf ear. My right ear hole hesitated and then woke to assist with listening to the sounds that I was not sure came from the outside or the inside of my skull's content's. I mean.
It is unseasonably cool out on this beautiful Florida Sun Shiny Day. Post Card weather, I swear. It is 1346 and the temperature in the lodge is 63 degree F. Out side, the winds and gusts come and brush the branches of the Oaks and bends the tall Palm Trees scattered about this modern day reservation. My dear Southern Magnolia, also known as Mom, stands tall and firm to the Mother Earth, out back in my Central Park. Mom sits in a wooden chipped garden with flowers native to the South East United States Of America. There are also two Avocado trees planted here that someday, many years from now will bear fine large avocado. Like them that grow in Miami, eh Homie?...
...my always beloved, Sister-In-Law, Miss. JS, who still lives in Miami, had a tree in here back yard that brought forth football sized avocado's. I bull shit you not and I could eat a whole one back in the day. I miss you, Jacky. I miss my nephews and my niece and now, my grand niece. To this day I love you all. Always have, Sweetie Pie, I always have.
Oh God, let me get back here in mind and Spirit. Today has presented sweat, perspiration's and mistiness, off and on since I woke. I am nauseated and I am dizzy and exhausted, I feel as if I am in some sort of neither place at the moment. I am not intoxicated yet I am drunk and my tip-taps are laborious. All I want to do is return to sleep. It is right here. Right here with me, waiting, and the sleep has been easy and I have slept deeply. My eye orbs are sore from this sleep. And these tears I shed in solitary confinement are mine to bare. There is something I must do for myself, you see? There has been an indication that I might bring things in some and closer to my center. I have let things far and wide affect me these past three weeks and now, to be on the other side of this fucking Meniere's attack, I am deep in my heart and Spirit's...
...my heart is dark and I am heavy. It seems as if it was just a few days ago I was moving at warp speed. Then there was the botox injections into my face, neck and skull. I had shot's into my damned face! And none of this is working for me. The pain, discomfort and my face still getting spasms is a piece of my life. Within these three weeks, I had a surgical procedure in clinic two weeks past. This site that has not healed - and it now looks like I have a tiny mouth with two feckin' lips next to my implant. I surly do mean to share this, you all.
My dearest Kindred, I do mean to share this. These sounds and noises have created tasks for me to distinguish what is real and what might be from the inside of my brains and ears. Or not. From the moment I woke until this moment the noises and sounds between my ears have been hyper active. The Worms are squiggling. Nausea and I gag on nothing but my spit. The only other contents in my stomach are the medicines and water I have consumed. I have fasted again. I thank Great Spirit for this sleep. This sleep that I find myself and I immersed with, like a dark beautiful piece of fabric with some lace, which is everything that helps me close me down. Shuts down my thinking and processing center. Kind One's, I have let so very many changes go on and take place these past three weeks. I am feeling a burden of being held down in my chest and center. Let me get hold of myself. Please, let me catch a piece of my life and My Path.
I just had an awesome visit with She-Who-Lives-With-The-Cherokee's, up in the North-East of Georgia. Our visit was through the air, in deed and Spiritually with the cool Spring breezes. With the cute little puffs of white clouds against a canvas of blue clear sky. My dearest friend, my dearest Kindred One, aided me in disengaging and aided me in regaining a focus on the now. Our visit in the wind was blessed. Thank you Ma'am. Thank you, for your unconditional love, your respect and your, and for your Cleansing Connectedness to the Universe. Yes, it is true and I scream this is so! Thank you Ma'am!.
The day has brought me to 1841. I have slept and I have slumbered. I am eager to bathe and cleanse myself of certain energies that I have permitted into my Circle. Perhaps even deeper, the energy that I have permitted to invade my most inner core. I feel shamed and I retreat. I feel sore, am saddened and am exhausted. So for now, I say, Ya-hey!
Today's a good day to die!
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