BAHA Related, A Visit With He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, "My Meniere's Disease Experience"

Kindred,

Just got in from seeing He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, a bit ago. Had a nice afternoon with the In-Laws who provided the transport and conversation. Good times.

Doctor had ordered I come to clinic when I spoke with him on Saturday. He-Who, wanted to see the site where the lump is and what it was that was going on at the site of implant and site of several surgeries. Doctor was able to see the slit from whence it was I had skull juice and blood drain from my scalp and was also able to see where the lump is redeveloping. He took photo's, poked about and has prescribed an anti-biotic. He-Who, requests I continue to place post surgery ointment to the site and see him in a week or two. So, we'll see one and another come nine days out. My Good Right Doctor, states that if the site does not improve between now and our next visit he is going to "cut it". I knew this. Already and was expecting the procedure today. Hip-Hip! No cutting it today! Lord, I don't know if I particularly like the concept of another "cut it" piece. You see, for me and my dear bobble head, scalp, and skull, all of this is rather routine and an intricate part of My Meniere's Disease Experience. It is meant to be that He-Who-Touched-My-Brain and I have "cut it" sessions periodically. I feel bad in my heart for my doctor, I feel as I am his problem child. True.

America, look, I am already well beyond the phases and phrases of recognizing and sharing how I am aware I could have things much worse. I've known this too and strangely enough, just this afternoon, I shared that thought with She-Who-Is-Strong-Minded, because she stated , "you just can't get a break". I noticed how this has become like a breathe for me because I've said it so fucking often. Instead of saying thank you or instead of remaining quiet I felt compelled to utter those same words, "it could be worse". Folks, I really just had this one huge light bulb moment right here. Wow. Any way's, yes, yes, and damn it yes, all of that sure could be, but let me share this with you my reader real quick like, there comes a point when this shit gets so deep that I contemplate and let wonder the thoughts of Kindred in the very same clinic as I and I notice their circumstances are different than mine. Their diagnosis are their diagnosis's - not mine, and my Kindred, these Folks deal with their reasons for being at Tampa Bay Hearing And Balance Centre, as they see fit. No, not all of us have implants, a BAHA or the Cochlear Implant here. It's not a circus of freaks like me there...

...I've only seen one other with a BAHA, the Bone Anchored Hearing Aid.

My Meniere's Disease Experience, has opened my eyes and my Spirit's to things I would have never even knew existed. Shit, that I would have never thought of or imagined. My Meniere's Disease Experience has been contrary. "It", has been different, more difficult and more complicated than the majority of Kindred with same diagnosis here at the Clinic. I know this. Things are said, things are over heard. Folks talk...

...Life Happens.

Today, I realized just how much I have attempted to minimize what "It" is that dwells within me. This deaf ear that I listen to the sounds and noises with - a right ear that is sometimes so Hard of Hearing, I wish for ear plugs to block out all of the crazy making noises and sounds, which would then be problematic because of the sounds and noises from within. My third ear, the BAHA's implant and abutment is pained and passes fluid. And then, we have the lumps on my scalp at the site of implant that has required several surgeries. We're back here again, I say as I feel the tinge of nerves near the lump hurt my scalp. We're back to the place where He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, wants to "cut it". Which I will so gladly approve and am eager because all I want is to have is a healthy head. Right. A healthy scalp and I just  think of this; there is a percentage of my scalp that has been surgically removed. I've got this satellite dish looking area here on the bottom left rear part of my extra large and extra thick bobble head. In the middle of the dish is where my implant lives. A few inches above and nearer to my temple is where my titanium plate lives.

Looking back, I regret no "cut It" today. I just want this pain and hideous lump to go away.

As of today, no more minimizing. None. Seen. I am the Survivor. I am the Warrior!

Me, and My Meniere's Disease Experience, I say, and acknowledge this is but the tip of the ice berg when it comes to symptoms and issues of Meniere's Disease that I live and let live with daily. Daily = every damned day.

My Meniere's Disease Experience