Kinfolk, Kindred and Relations,
With Hearing Loss, everything in life changes...
...when a person goes deaf in an ear. It is devastating to the one who has lost something so precious. Perceptions based on sounds are thrown off. What sounds like somethings over here when it's actually over there. Seldom is there not a start - there usually is a startle or fright when it is created by a humans voice. There's just something eerie about the whole miss-match with the noise I do hear.
The sounds and noises I am listening to between my ears are sounds from within. There have been times when this has created a startled affect, if not all out fright and yes, I have screamed.
Meniere's Disease, has taken my hearing. It has taken my lively hood. It has created a cluster fuck of issues with my balance and coordination and so much more. I noticed today while gardening that if I combine a quad cane and another source to assist with balance I feel steady and almost certain...
...but then I remember, there is absolutely not a damned thing certain about Meniere's Disease. This is the price you pay when this disease has you by the neck.
Today, I have felt strong. I was in a place to nest and be productive. It has felt good and my heart has cheered a bit. These past few weeks have been troubling for me. I am aware that I permitted depression's ugly head to emerge and affect my day to day life style. Since the last Meniere's attack I have slept what I can only describe as mind blowing amount of sleep. An oddity involved with this Mother's Day vertigo attack is that I have had spells where I did not sleep for one day and a half on two different occasions.
My energy's and Center have been contrary and almost presenting an enigma for self-inventory.
Where do I begin? How do I remember to remind myself to focus? Sometimes this bull shit disease has me so flustered that I am unable to maintain a descent level of energies and vibrations for me and through-out Earth Mother and beyond.
The sounds I mentioned earlier have been a helicopter chop-chop-chopping in my left Deaf ear. My right hard of hearing ear has me listening to thousands of crickets and cicadas. So loud, these foiken crickets. There was an engine of some sort sitting in my back yard earlier today. I reckon it was a Swamp Boat. I'm not knowing.
My balance has been bad and off today. I mean, bad enough that I knew I had to come in or risk falling and harming myself. The idea I mentioned earlier about two walking apparatuses has me curious. Am item sort of like what Kindred Germans use for walk abouts.
Dizziness has had a roll in my today. I would grade it a Six at this moment. As I would the knot of nausea in my throat.
Fortunately, I remember to share that the wound from the last surgery - HAS NOT healed. The fluid continues to pass from this site. In ten days there will be another operation at the very same site.
All of this and all of which is Meniere's Disease related...
...Life Changes.
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