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Monday, October 31, 2011

Visited He-Who-Touched-All-My-Junk and A RECTAL PROBE!

Brenda and I made it to the laboratory with time to spare in the "two hour" window that was ordered by "He-Who-Has-Touched". After the laboratory we broke fast and made it to Doctor's office with good timing...

...I was unpleasently surprised by three of three things that occured with this visit...

1. I had a serie's of two more sonograms. This time on the bladder. One prior to voiding followed by one post-void. I have had more of these exams since the beginning of this October, than in my entire fucking life.

2. There were no video cameras inserted into my penis. Not the I wanted one, but it was what I was expecting and planning in both brain's. The one on my shoulders and the one down below.

3. In it's stead I had a damned RECTAL PROBE! Out of the deep blue clear sky! No "F.Y.I." of change in course - not a call or e-mail. Cheerfully as possible, I walk into this majestic suite to be informed doctor will be preforming a sonogram of my prostate...

...which is to conducted via my very private and personal rectum aka my rear bumper. I was not expecting to have my rectum trespassed against by a penis looking instrument with a fucking condom attached to it, secured by a red rubber band. Of which and with which, He-Who-Touched-My-Under-Carriage, poked and probed and moved this phalic intsrument side to side and to and fro. A Real Life Rectal Probe!

It will be the next visit that doctor will insert a catheter with video. Then once that is done and doctor compiles all data - THEN, Brenda, He, and I will have a sit down to talk face to face.

The waiting is, in this case, "ONE" of the hardest things.

Yes, I did share with doctor about the self abuse and reported that a lump was removed from Mr. Wang with-in the past two years. He was glad I reported this to him. I did fail to report the rectal spasams. I think I will call in the morrow to speak with the Nurse who has had most contact with my body and I. I figure this too is something doctor would want to know.

Relations, I have a simple and humble request, do not be offended should I explain certain scenerios peppered with profanity. Or if offened, please don't judge...

...this is all I ask.

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