The Consequences Of Almost Falling Asleep On This Patient, Meniere's, and Neurolgical Pain

It has been a long new year this year 2014. I've actually considered it has been a rather indifferent year for me over this past calendar year. What with the Meniere's, Neurological Pain and other illnesses that have take me to the brink on more than one dozen occasions. I am only human, I am a Man with emotions and feelings. This past year has been a year where I've lost most of my life to sleep due to Meniere's and honestly, this has been the year of so many experience's, I reckon it would require a couple or three more communiqués to share what I have to say. Much of it won't get said, sometimes shit happens and it is the right thing to share and get that shit off my back. I say this from in and out of my body, in and out of my mind. Life isn't getting much longer and I'm not getting any younger. I've taken a grip of my life and I will continue to work the shit out of it and if and when I get to having attacks, I'll take them one at a time, just as I have since this all first started.
 

Speaking of which, I've had well over one thousand injections this same calendar year, which includes every doctor, every procedure and or operation. Never in all my years would I have pictured this in my life, but please understand that for me, these are becoming easier and easier to receive. With each needle, syringe, and injection of whatever medicine I am being injected with it all becomes easier. Since beginning of new year alone, I have received so many shots, I don't even ask what is in the syringe anymore, with what seems like longer and longer needles.

 Is this learning to "let go?" I ask? I don't know. But, could this be what happens when a patient is injected thousands of times? Is this rational or natural for a patient to get to a point that it just doesn't fucking matter anymore? Well then.
 

This could've been a fine topic for therapy with Sir Dude today. This topic was definitely swimming around in the juices that roam about, in and between my two brains.

 I had a Meniere's Attack this past Friday evening. Was taken by surprise, and triggered by something on the television, sometime in the early pm. My balance was put through major changes and as such required aid from my wife to get to my safe place. Where it is the deep indentation of my large frame is placed onto my side of our beds mattress. There have been times I have considered this to be my symbolic nest. My bears den, an Eagles nest even?

 Yes, my friends, this is my nest and this is where I go when my Meniere's strikes like the one Friday, just like every damned post Meniere’s attack. Though this attack was vicious and I was provided the book full of symptoms to go along with the attack, there has been exception of a very long sleep. I did sleep roughly thirty two hours and today the symptoms play mind games with me. Maybe not much more sleep I am aware of, but, this sweating, gagging, and off and on dizziness has me not quite sure what to think of this one particular attack. Considering the nature of this particular post attack, I was able to keep my appointment with my therapist today. I’ve been able to stand tall in spite of my pain and have stood tall.

Good Ole Sir. Dude, though I left there somewhat unfulfilled today, I accept that it was me who has the issues, but then, could it be that my brother just about fell asleep twice today? When all I see are the white’s of your eyes – you are either being possessed, fainting, or falling asleep. Thus, I consider the latter to be truest of all. I don't know if he knows this or not, and oh sure, I mentioned it a year or so ago, that the first time he does doze off - I'm going to scream like a Bitch, like, out-damned-loud. I remember clear as hell back when I did mention this to him, he took slight to it and speculation is he has forgotten. Shoot, I bet I haven't bleeding forgotten. I mean really, I know my shit isn't that damned dynamic, but shit am I that boring neither? Oh, please, let me laugh a minute, because I really don't want this to happen. But Sir, shit, isn't this some rude ass shit for you, my therapist, Mr. Oh-I-Don't-Do-Coffee in the afternoon, to be doing. Please, Sir Dude, if I were you, I would reconsider that no caffeine in the PM thingy. Please know my brother, I am for real, because I share, when that day comes and you do fall asleep - shit's going to change between you and I for sure.
Forever. I may not scream as I playfully mentioned, but I will walk the fuck out.

I'm your God Damned Patient brother, and I surly deserve more respect than this or the ever present concern that one day you are going to drift off. Your disrespect is playing with my emotions. Smokey. So please, and by the way, Sir Dude, get over yourself, you're my therapist, not my God Damned Father.

 You're getting paid - I'm not. Seen?