Howdy Folks,
I wish to share with you this peculiar sickness of getting
sea sickness on land. Here in Tampa, Miami, Avon Park, and Tallassee too.
This is usually when Meniere's is zoning in on a specific symptom for a while
then later on will add sweating, perspirations, the gagging and vomiting.
Today, while here in exile. I've had all of the above has since I got up from a
sleep that lasted just short of twenty hours. For just way too long, my friends
I have let this sleep dictate my day to day. Well, Poop! All of this sea
sickness - is true? This has been attached to my life source...
...dear friends, understand this before I go much further,
I love my life! I love my wife! My beautiful daughters, I am breathing
this side of better. Oh shit! Let me share something really ugly that came
across my life, home, and heart. While I was conducting a Medicine Inventory
that very unfortunately, I have had a visitor to my sanctuary steal medicine
from me. And for shits sake I have had this drama building over the past week
or so, I wanted to see if I would stumble upon them in the medicine box in the
bath, or in my back pack, but no. 60 tablets of my medicine. Tonight the count
confirmed one of my Guests, stole medicine addressed to me. I mean, what
disrespect is this? I've not let one strange person into my lodge - all family,
my Clan, and friends. That's a bitter note - but, now I know. As a Fellow
Patient, I plead with you my friends; please ensure security of your
medications.
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h yes! There are many times being Single Side Deaf, when the
good-bad-other ear that plays bad psychological torture games on me. Those
that stir are the most horrifying sensations in my heart's of being
punished. Especially in public when reprimanded for "not listening",
I have had the horror of getting lost again as an adult and remember it as if
it was all just yester year.
Well, Kindred, all of this may had been written in the
Big Book and how we have expectations as Christians. I am a Christian; I have
been baring my Crosses since I was a damned boy. Oh sure, this and that
is/was to be mine to have these Crosses to bear. Am I living a Life
to erase the Sin's of My Father? My Sins done, I have worked, and worked and
struggled with this shit, still, I feel unforgivable you see. I do not
wish to be hanged! Please God! Stop this Meniere's disease! Please, My Lord,
take away the Sins of my life. My Lord, take away the Sins of my World.
Today is a Great Day to Die!! Soon we we'll celebrate Long
Hairs Last day On the Earth.
How can I convey in words that are clear as crystal, say to
you that I am planning on being here a spell. So, no my Family and Friends,
there is no reason to be interested in dyeing. I will say there can be too
many days when I really don't want to be here. I have a strong and deep desire
for a return to our home, here is home, and there is home. I figure maybe it's
about time to get my bottom up. Continue with intention, walk around here in my
immediate here. Here, for all what reasons do I have here? My Wife, I love
her every day of my life - even when I carry a gag ball in my throat, when I
feel as if I'm about to hurl major chunks, sometimes spontaneous projectile
vomit. Yes. Vomit. And around me, I'm sea sick.
I've been my semi active today, pushing it with a couple new
gut exercises. But, that damned gimp I am made me a gimp today. Yes.
That's what I said. Yes, I loved myself to day, but dang.
A Life with This Type of Pain is inhumane. How much pains
are we and me to endure.
I might need to get more company here, yes, I like that, get
much company here.
I watch the Sunrise and I see the Sun Set, very much as I
have done since we were a Family of Nine. I remember, Dad, would take me with
him to deliver the Tampa Tribune News Paper back in the mid-1960. We'd get up
around 0430 and be out the tossing those papers! Whew! My Dad did have an
awesome Hook!! And was doing it before Kareem! Yes, Family, Dad and I,
would be working before Sun Rise and listen to the Old AM Black radio
station. I've been working since! Well, nope, I worked until the disease Meniere's
moved in... Oh what wonderful memory's! And able to say I worked six decades of
my life. Excuse me. Fuck you Meniere's!
My Mom and Dad, gone now a few years, Little Brother David
rests with them up there on that
As we will surely love to sit on our beautiful wraparound
porch like the one at Uncle Henry's Farm. I believe in my inner self, Mommy,
would have wanted to stay in East Tennessee. Maybe Tennessee, we've always
loved them mountains. Or even Kentucky. Oh my goodness.
I miss every one of you! My Aunt Billie, My Abuela Mary, my Aunt
Bunny. Oh, all of my cousins up there chilling with the elders. Abuelo Mario,
so too many Aunts and Tia's and Tio are our Uncles. My Dearest Tia Josephina! Abuela
Mimi!! Our Sweet Tia Rosa, who lived right around the corner from us.
As goofy as this may sound, with our near half acre,
our pool and this three bedroom lodge and our contents are becoming a
bit much. I began a process of donating years ago. Time to get that started
again.
May I have a Vacation My Lord? May my wife and I have a very
nice holiday in the cabin?
- May it please be possible that I return to Cherokee and stay a spell? Stay around for the Cherokee way. Is this so wrong for me to ask for a break from this pain? Make a break from this Meniere's disease and I always take my necessary inhalers. My Heart is ready, my Spirit's are ready. Big Bear please Sir, stir!
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