Kind One's,
I've spoken about a beeping that has been going on since last Saturday. Well, the morrow is the Saturday that will make one week of beeps and now what has become long, long beeps. Beeps that seem to linger and linger for an eternity of seconds. Sometimes these get quite loud to a point of interrupting what ever may be going on, to having audible episodes barely audible, but loud enough to detect.
Yesterday, Thursday, 23 January, is when the beeping changed. It went from a non-stop, steady sounding series of beeps and ticks. Damn these noises and beeps! Beeping on and on. Loud and louder, knowing that if I should report this to anybody in the field, I would be reminded that there is nothing we can do. This is something I am aware of, so I already know all of this, and I hear these same words time and time after time. I just wish for some understanding, not cold words.
I no longer pester my dear He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, for all of what has become a part of my Meniere's routine, my Meniere's way of life. If something queer should happen or I get an ugly infection at the site of my implant, then, I phone my doctor right up. And, my dear Guests, my doctor has 'always' returned my calls. Each and every call. I trust him with my life, I really do. I wish we could all have doctors like mine. I know this is not possible but I would like to say that if you should not feel right with your Otolaryngologist, or your Ear, Nose and Throat doctor, that you may have been assigned to by insurance, or if you feel some thing is not quite right between you and your physician. Please, I ask you please, find another doctor. Your health and the battle against Meniere's requires a team. The One Doctor - One Patient scene does not equal success here when it pertains to Meniere's. As a patient it is your right.
Being one who is Single Side Deaf with an Implant, and one who is Hard of Hearing and going Deaf over this disease, has been one hell of an experience and has been something that has required an awesome team in place. A Team who has supported me as a fellow Earth Mate, and as a patient against a genuine double blast of Meniere's...
...once it originated in my Left Ear, it took me for life, and my dear Medical Team went through "all of the changes" that we had to. Now with Meniere's fully pledged and occupied in my hard of hearing right ear, I am at War with my own body. Again. I have too fight this. Pray harder. You see, both of my ears bring luggage that carries their own story's of Meniere's Disease. The battle after battle after battle verses all and every last damned symptom of sickening rubbish and description of Meniere's. There's so damned very much that tags along with me and this invisible disease that I have truly feared madness. No matter where I go, be it the market or department store, whether I am here in my lodge, or atop those beautiful mountains of Georgia and North Carolina that call me home, or by this huge and wide open Gulf of Mexico, these symptoms are with me. I admit that there are times when I succumb to the powers of Meniere's, I have shed many, many tears and I must own that I have removed myself from my community and returned to exile. The realization and knowing that this disease is here to stay has taken a long time to take root. And now, it has. Kindred, I'm here for the long haul, so I better stake up this camp site right here and get a fire on. Shoot, it's cold..
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