Kin Folk and Kind One's,
I send out this communique to report the occurrence of a Meniere's Vertigo attack, I had Monday afternoon. It has had me truly by my throat. The nausea has lingered since then and too many times I have tasted the bile from the contents or lack there of in my stomach. The flavors of the medications I eat are not pleasant. The pills, tabs, and capsules of various sizes sit in my stomach counting down to when they kick off and get into my system. Medication's. Their jobs.
The inhalers that I seriously depend on for my literal survival, are taxing to my physical and emotional stat. My nebulizer, is in need of a replacement, I have had my present piece of equipment for several years and though it works, there are models out there that would administer my medication much faster. I wash the tubing and then let air dry as the medicine company's long ago stopped taking care of my equipment and materials. With the powers of medicine having so much control, the form of medicine has been changed 'for me'. This now comes in a bottle with an ear drop attached, when ready for a treatment I'll place prescribed amount of cc's in to place in the tubing. I reckon that the amount of medicine I take on a daily basis would surely kill another fellow human smaller in size of body frame and skeletal structure than I. I wonder, am I toxic? What I consider to be a large dose of medication per day, may actually be less than for some others folks, but goodness Kindred One's, I have never been on so many medications. I have never had the need and necessity of having to take so many medicines. During this time and period of life, my doctor's render this a necessity. Please, I am powerless over all that is going on in my life. I am entrusting my life and ways with my doctors. Ultimately, I have an awesome good faith in My God, my Great Spirit has blessed each and every person who has contact with me for my health care and my emotional care. Goodness gracious, I am truly blessed to have these extraordinary professors, doctors and their staff be a part of my team. My health. My life.
My body is sore and beat from my toes to my cervical spine and skull. I feel as if I have been on the losing end of a misunderstanding at the disco. My scalp burns and hurts when I rub over and across my hair. I have sweat for most of my day, in bed and while out for a good three or so hours. Take a few to take care of business. My finger knuckles hurt. My temples hurt. My left eye orb aces and is foggy. There is a door bell that has forever troubled me with horrible stabbing pains at the left corner of my upper skull. I know in my heart and have seen with my own eye's the frustration my doctors after doctor feels with this neurological and Meniere's Disease causing chaos within in me and outside of me. Jimmy, my neck hurts go bad I wish I had a vice I could use and tighten and release along the outer side of my neck. No, not the throat. Since Monday afternoon, I have slept plus twenty hours per day, with stretches that sleep me into the teens of hours of sleep...
I realize, I understand and acknowledge the course of my treatment's are because I have always provided my professors, doctors, and practitioner's cart blanch when we are at war with the diseases in my skin. All I ask is please, please help me get better. Please! Please! We work hard together. Please, don't stop! Please, take care of me! Doctor's can you hear me? Please.
My vision has been affected as a consequence of this latest Meniere's attack. I have seen life in warped visual distortions. Like my sofa bending. Or, my walls tilting outward. The voices and sounds and noises are always present in my life, from wake to sleep, and then there have been times when I have been stirred or startled by the loud sounds and noises in my ears. Yes, both the deaf left ear and the hard of hearing right ear. Life?! Oh my, I don't know if I could explain what true and total silence occurs. Other than the sounds trapped within - I have been totally our of sound too many times to remember. That's such a ridiculous assumption that I could even come up with any number of attacks. The hours and hours and days of sleeping and sleeping. Right.
There's just not much I can do but keep on living, I've got to keep on fighting for a better quality of life and have the all-star team mates fighting with me against these sickening invisible diseases. Look, I could go on and on with what I am feeling inside right now. The beeping and telephone ringing is about to create a madness, I want to scream but my bride is sleeping, my sleeping beauty is resting and I want her to get good sleep. Her good and healthy sleep. I've forgotten what that is. A good healthy sleep. A good what? God, let's work it! Life!
I've got to go, I am beginning to sweat bad enough my t-shirt clings to my chest and back. I am nauseated and am getting lightly dizzy. I don't want to gamble and risk falling on the way to my safe place. I hope to reconnect in the morrow. I've got no more to say. Peace and love. Seen.
No comments:
Post a Comment