I Share This From My Spirit's

I was plagued by ear spams in both ears today, mostly the left but there were several spasms in my right ear hole to the brain. Having mentioned the right ear I would like to say that hearing with this ear has become so distracting that there are times that I prefer silence of a quiet home because I am being kept active enough listening to the sounds and noises that are generated from within this precious skull of mine. There is no combating or medicating nothing I can do about these sounds, many of which originates in my left deaf ear. When having conversation with another it is absolutely necessary to have my face to the speakers face. I have reminded Kin Folk and them in my circle time and time again that I am deaf and hard of hearing. Yes, I said Kin Folk. Still. It's like, well, what the hell, I've only been single side deaf since 2009., and have the unfortunate business of losing hearing in the right at an alarming rate of time. As is my sight. I have been wearing glasses for many years and have really never noticed such a drastic loss in such a brief period of time. I have this gut feeling that Meniere's plays a roll in this though I do not know by fact. When mentioning this to He-Who-Touched-My-Brain, he ordered me to see an eye doctor, well, good God doc., I had figured as much, but does this have something to do with this case of Meniere's Disease? Perhaps a bit of reading on my part may have a calming affect in the brains. Well, shit yes I tend to stress a bit, just might be stress that will get me my one way ticket home to be with Jesus, my Saint Mary, Mom, Dad, Abuela Mary, Grandpa Roy and get to meet my Cherokee grandmother Flossi. What an honor this will be. But anyways, didn't mean to have that passing over thing slip into the conversation, but America, there's no stress or concern here on dieing. Today has been an extraordinarily good day to die, but, I didn't. Here I am and I am okay with this too. I love my life, I love my wife, my daughters and our hounds. I love this Mixed Blood that I have flow threw these veins of mine. These arteries and vessels by which my blood gets from here to back here. I look forward to the remainder of my days here on Earth Mother. These changes taking place within my life and circle are changes that are not totally unfamiliar, it is Botswana's and my job to get back on the right foot and do the things we must to protect our home and future here at our lodge and sanctuary. Home. I don't like it when I have a White person talk to me about my house or my financial affairs. Oh yes, one more thing that I do not accept or tolerate is folks "telling" me what to do. That is an instant turn off and could jeopardize what ever relationship we may have. I bet I don't go around and about on my path telling folks what to do in their lives. Please, to hell with that waste! Let me stop. That's just not a good scene. Today, I rested from what I acknowledge were post attack symptoms of Meniere's though I slept little, which for me is victory. I tried to read, but the noises and peculiar issues with sight caused uncomfortable sensations in my head and stomach. I did make contact on social media with folks I enjoy communicating with, I swear it gets so lonely here when it is me and the hounds. We make it through the day - the pack in the preserve. The silence I spoke of earlier is a double edged sword, I tell you this from my heart, maybe I am ready to have less of all of this noise and racket of this environment I live in. I love music and am enjoying some Verve Remix as I chat, there's just to many voices and energy I am tired of listening to. My right ear works when and as it wishes. (Bil, I await your return call) I continue to have mornings when I must wait for my right ear to become a hearing ear, as if the functionality of the ear was affected by sleep. There are majority of times when the hearing is shit poor and I just go along as I have learned to do - other times I am able to pick out an instrument in a song that I never noticed before. Yes, odd, but what the hell am I to do. Live with it is what I say, just like the damned ear spasms and facial spasms. The sounds and noises and noises and sounds wreck havoc in my life every moment of everyday of my awake life. Pains in my neck, shoulders, and arms are near a 9. Maybe an 8.5, time. Yes, I have taken my PM medications. There have even been events when I have been stirred by the sounds and noises in the night.  My ears. Today, the dizziness and awkwardness has made for unsteady steps and walking about. Thank God, I wear shoes in house because I would have broken every toe by now. No joke. I had a dreadful stumble and near fall, earlier this evening, embarrassingly right in front of my dearest Brazil. My Earth Mate! I love your voice darling! I will be visiting with my therapist Sir Dude, come the afternoon tomorrow. It is a good thing. Also tomorrow, I shall schedule MRI's with a diagnostic center that won't lie or deceit me. It is necessary that I release from my services two company's. One, this diagnostic center here in town that I have been a consumer of for many years for misleading me. One other that I am not prepared to speak of at this moment. Negative energy is bad medicine, lieing to patients is bad medicine, so it is time to move on. All of this, I share from my Spirit's.