Moving along this path of mine with a steady attitude and fair rate of speed. I am unable to get out and about as near as I would like to, or no way near as much as I would intend to, but it's my purpose to keep my chip up and move along with business in hand. I follow orders given by my doctor's, professor, and therapist with as much motivation as I might muster. I keep my Kin Folk and Kindred, in mind and heart. Them "well intendeds" who wish my well, I keep them in mind the best as I can too.
Sometimes I remember to keep me in mind. No, honestly I do.
The past forty-eight hours have had me sleep more than being awake and productive. Beginning Sunday, and then again yesterday I had to Meneire's Disease attacks, the time of duration of both attacks were between 30 and forty five minutes. The symptoms of nausea, which has been productive and omni present. The perpetual state of dizziness, sweating, perspiring, and misting, has made for uncomfortable times. Even in my sleep. And speaking of which, the sleeping has lasted up until late afternoon today at approximately 1700, when I was able to stir and remove myself from my safe place. Walking has been not so good with several stumbles, bumps in to, bashing my head on the wall in the bath room twice. From an out of body point of view, I think my balance has become problematic. Something I am doing to in my sense, attack this issue is to work harder to become a healthier target when my body hits the Earth. It has happened, it happens, and it will happen again, so I have taught myself my own form of Yoga and Tai Chi for an imbalanced fellow. In this case, the wall is an Allie. I have also re-introduced light weights to a regimen that covers my hands, fore arms, upper arms and shoulders. I have found this very beneficial with the combat verses the fucked up pains in the same areas. I really don't know though if what I am doing is a good thing. I believe I have been owned by the pain. Too damned much pain for too damned long. It may seem like I attempt to combat pain with pain, I do not. This is a therapy that I know in my muscles and bones that must be lived as a way of life. The time spent between March and the present, represents many long weeks and months of total inactivity. Depression. Neurological Pain. Cervical Spine Pain. Meniere's Disease. The exacerbation's of Asthma.
Now, November has gone and happened. I'm feeling myself waking up in a Holistic sense. I actually feel myself making a turn in my psyche's. My attitude and commitment to self and family. Negative is as negative does. Seen. I have had too much more than I wish to have ever endured and am prepared to say and or do whatever it is I have to. There is not any other's out here standing up for me. Shit. I see it too damned often. It is amazing that I have only just recently understood in my heart and spirit's that it is not necessary for me to have negative influences, people's, and or energies in or near my life. Yes, and oh yes, I have dealt with these issues in the past, and have established boundaries before. Let us just agree to say that I have come to my damned senses. I have taken measured steps and have secured myself to make and enforce the past made boundaries are here to protect my path and the direction I am directed. Sadly. it has been necessary for me to create such boundaries. It is my responsibility to ensure there are sure, secured, and thick boundary's between these energy's. Really, this is what all this comes down to. No right or no wrong. Quite simply, there are just too many negative influences in and around my Circle of Circle's. For my Freedom. For my peace of mind. It is right to close a few chapters in the path called life recently. Reckon issues are to be resolved and then time to move along.
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