Kind One's,
I am here on the total opposite end of my sleep spectrum - I have not slept this past night because of the awful agony and pain in my neck, scalp and the whole package of upper torso and skull. The symptoms of Meniere's and it's post attack issues are bad situations. It is like disease criss-crossing. I woke up at 0930 yesterday morning, once this time reaches back around to 0930, I will have been awake for twenty-four hours. This is not unusual, because these have occurred many times when and where I'll have stretches of "non-sleep". I reckon, here we go again.
I just got off the telephone from the clinics answering service. I made another attempt to reach a fellow human being at the Neurological Center at Tampa General Hospital Rehab Center. I kept pressing zero until I got someone I could speak with even though there was no aid at all from this young man. My ear hole to the brain, just wanted some one or maybe even a machine to leave a simple message, my dears. There were times in this past evening when pain was so bad, my body would let loose of a guttural body sound. A natural inner human sound that must have conveyed messages to others back before we humans learned to talk. I made an honorable, right-good attempt to sleep, I lay next to my dear wife Bwanatanabi, I listened to her breath and the hounds snore. I made several attempts to self-massage, but can't do this anymore because my fingers go numb, then the hurt, but read and back to this savage pain in my neck, shoulders, arms, and back, I've also had two ear spasms and three face spasms since yesterday. The night before was disgusting with pain. The pain lingers with me, off and on all damned day long, it is here.
Wait a minute. Let me say what I have to say, by saying first of all that the prescription for my new medication was provided me incomplete. The quantity was on the script, as were the grams per pill, but, She-Who-Typed-Up, did not provide dose directions/orders. This error created an issue at our Drug Store Pharmacy, Walgreen's, creating a long line in pharmacy, and so very, very embarrassing. It was just Tuesday, 27 August, that we had a Botox inject-a-thon. AND, here I sit tip-tapping at 0630 because I can't sleep due to these pains within my skin. There were a couple of times that I was close to sleep last night, then a pain would attack my neck-connected to my shoulder-connected to my arm bone, the one I can massage the bone where my left bicep is located.
(Note: I just had an ear spasm that stopped my life. I try to push my finger threw my ear to massage it. That was an eight approaching a nine on the level of pain. My God.)
Look, Jean Luc, there's something wrong here and there's something not right. I mean, what the shit is this? I feel this energy in my heart and it is a sad energy. The energy that has been around me has been harsh and negative. My mind, heart, bones and Spirit's senses an oddity.
My Right Good Guest's, I make clear I don't want any more medications by mouth for now. I have too many different kinds and types and am requesting we take a test run with what I have presently, and presently this is just not working or has not begun to work in a satisfactory manner. Combating these pains, includes talks with my doctor. I have begun the new medicinal changes. If things should not change within the next few days, then She-With-Many-Names and I will have a gathering much sooner than later. I've not been in search of medicine or medication. I am not the one person writing the prescriptions and orders. I am ignorant of the medicine talk, I assure you, I know what it feels like to have my medications refused by outside agencies. Folks playing interference with a patient and a doctors directions and orders are very much beyond me. These are ideas, recommendations, and suggestions provided to me, the patient, by my professor. How in all of South Africa, would I have ever even, directed Botox injects? Please.
I am the patient.
To feel that I am being treated differently than other patients in my Rehab Center, this is against my Rights as a patient. To observe my own Team Mates at TGH Rehab disregard me, treat me with a rush and then send me along hurts. To need to connect with my awesome doctor and not have a true opportunity hurts. Four or five minutes is too brief of an encounter with professor. I love this honorable doctor - I need to feel she cares and that this Team is on my side and looking out for my best interest. There is too much drama in my day to day. I surely do not need other peoples shit.
By the way, to have been provided and be within ear shot of a conversation, where two nursing/doctor professional thought it prudent to speak aloud about one of the patients there in clinic who "just wants to take advantage of medication". Well then. I know they knew, I knew I heard a conversation, for shits sake, I'm deaf and Hard of Hearing and not focused on a damned thing out side of the exam room until this ambiguous comment was made near me. No, I'm not paranoid. I'll say that I've been around for a spell. Seen. I have been a patient in hospital dozens and dozens of times, I am damned well aware of my Patient Rights.
There is something in my center that whispers, I have been betrayed by members of an important group of my Team. Remember, betrayal in my life is traumatic. Looks like I have some thinking to do, decision's to make, and considerations in store. I think the poop hitting the fan has been promoted from elephant dung to whale poop hitting the proverbial fan.
I can call my clinic "only" between the hours of 0800 and 1600. The answering service wouldn't even attempt to help the brother out, so I've waited until 0800 to begin calling the nurses station.
I have no more to say.
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