Kindest Kinfolk, Kindred and All Relations,
I send this communique via the blog due to reasons beyond my manner of thinking. This is something I share simply, because I must. I begin to share this diagnosis with you now...
...this is On-Set Arachnophobia.
I have never been afraid of spiders in my life. As a boy I would collect God, only knows what species in empty jars with holes on the lid. I would feed them flies and bugs. When the Spiders made their Spider sacs, I kept them safe and released them when the babies bust through. I have always gone out of my way to keep from walking on my fellow Earth Mates on side walks and have gone to dangerous length's to save turtles crossing busy streets. Oh yes, even know this, my first pet as a married dude was a tarantula. His name was Spidy Baby. So damned cool he was and I report that summa bitch was huge and hairy and had a fantastic appetite. Bless his heart...
...came home form work one day and the ole boy had crossed over. I say no more, say no more.
The today is 09 July 2012, and this brand-damned-new-psychosis is one born from my daughter's bath. Also know as the Guest Bath, the spare bath, etc...
...well?
I report that my Daughter's Bath has a "Spider Portal", one from the Center's of This Earth Mother. Oh My God, Spiders so huge, larger than small doves - they have made my dear bride and daughter's scream like girl's! And I, Scream Silently in my brains. Both halves! Scream War Path Screams! And I kill them as quickly and quietly as possible. Spray, fly swat, rolled up news paper, flop-flip, sneaker or shoe. There's a Spider Portal, I tell you.
It is all out "war" on this invader from the out of doors. I've grown exhausted from their visits.
Them and their neighbours the extraordinary "Fabulous Flying Florida Palmetto Bugs". Palmetto Bug, please, that's a fancy title for such a huge freaking and flying ugly ass cock-roach!
Good-Goodness-My-Good-God! I have gone scared and am killing more insects in last two weeks than the past three years. Po critters search for shelter from the Tropical Storm, and the Thunder Storms, and the rain and showers here on the outter sub-tropics.
They are to go to my neighbours house. They need to move out of this Lodge. That's all.
Child please...
...no, really.
God, save us all!
No comments:
Post a Comment