And Now, If I May, My Deaf Left Ear

Yes, Kind Kinfolk and Kindred,

It is now that I wish to introduce you to my Deaf Left Ear...

...all of the experiences of, about and or pertains to this Deaf Left Ear, is Meniere's related.

My Deaf Left Ear that I listen to - picks up sounds, noises and voices. Every damned day of my life. Every single day of my life. Ever since I had the destruction of my inner ear with a Labyrinth Ectomy (?) and the Vestibular Nerve Section. It has been since I lost my hearing in the left ear, that I have been listening and hearing so much rubbish that it has brought me to the point of manic. I mean, please...

...what am I to say that I have not yet shared. Every once in a while I'll pick up on something new, and listen to it. Or something totally out of the ordinary will occur with-in this Deaf Ear that hears. I had the sounds of many WWII air planes earlier today. Just as clear as day, it sounded as if there was a squadron flying slowing above the Sanctuary and my Lodge. But then, I think there must have been fucking thousands of them up there because I listened for approximately ten minutes. Listening closely and closer as they got closer and positioned right over my roof, then fly off and be away.

At this very moment I listen to the old fashioned water sprinklers. The one that sounds like this, Tish-tish-tish-tish, then it would hit a certain spot and it tishtishtishtish-tish's back to the start. Don't know how long this has been going on because I have been listening to the creatures of mid- night in The Everglades National Park...

...yes, My Great One, the sounds of locusts, frogs, gators, crickets, mosquitoes and all the others that live between these  three ears of mine. All aloud and as if in some odd type of competition amongst each other. So damned loud! Right Now!

One of the sounds I get frequently is the sound of Morse Code and the delight in imagining the originator of these cryptic message's. Other's are the sounds of jet planes, trains, 18 wheelers, and air boats. Have heard the sound of a car in my garage today and nope, we do not park in there yet. There have been what I have had to say, are what I can only describe as explosions in my Left Deaf Ear. As if some one blew up an M-80 or shot an impressive side arm...

...just kindly minding my own when out of the blue clear sky's there's a "POW!". I mean, dude.

The sounds of Folks voice's is what startles the Good Right Holy Shit out of me. Random as hell too. I've been in this very seat, tip-tapping away and have been scared out of my very last wit by somebody up and saying something into my Deaf Left Ear. I mean, come on, right? I have had both male and female voices. I have heard conversations in other parts of my Lodge. I have been scared so bad by a sudden shout that I in turn have indeed hollered out loud. It gets bad sometimes Folks! And then, eventually tapers off for a brief respite. Please, my Relations, know and understand that this is no way for any Human Spirit to live. It is inhumane and yes, sometimes it is simply torture. I remember being reprimanded once for screaming out loud at one of my last stores worked. It was so embarrassing because this happened in public. By the way, I still get reprimanded to this very day. By my own Kinfolk. This is not some shit that Folks plan for people. And it sure as shit not funny. Seen.

My Dear Great God, please, please ease this Cross I carry. I am not worthy, my Lord. Please have pity on me, a sinner and ease these noises, sounds and voices from mine Deaf Left Ear.

I do so miss being able to truly listen and or hear with my Deaf one. I remember the sounds of so much music and the voices of Kinfolk, my dear Kindred and all of my Relations.

This really is my life, My Path, in a before and after scenario.

I miss my balance too! So damned badly. I wish to walk with out aid. I want to walk with out fear of falling or stumbling into furniture, walls and merchandise at the stores and markets we frequent. I wish to run! Like Forest Gump kind of run! I want to drive a car again! I don't even have a car anymore.

Please, Kind One's, please.